“Problems of rejection in the children's collective

In each children's team there are guys who shy away from the rest of the different reasons... Most often this happens due to the fact that they were not accepted into the group. Neither the parents of the child, nor the adults who lead the given community of children: teachers, educators, should remain indifferent to such a problem, since in this case nothing will be successfully resolved by itself. A situation that gets out of the control of adults can have unpredictable consequences in the future. It happens, of course, that some guys themselves do not strive to take leadership positions in the team of their peers and at the same time feel completely normal. But it also happens: a teenager suffers from misunderstanding and in every possible way seeks to join the group.

Reasons for the appearance of an outcast in the children's team, their solution

Psychologists identify several prerequisites leading to the emergence of this problem:

• unusual appearance... Subjective and objective factors can be distinguished here. Guys who are much taller, lower than the rest, or very fat, thin, appearing in an established team, the majority begin to shy away. If at the same time the newcomer is not dressed like everyone else, that is, he has not the most fashionable things or has an unkempt appearance, then the fate of an outcast is prepared for him. The hairstyle is also important. Children surrounding the newcomer intently examine his shoes, bag and other objects, evaluating and discussing this. So that the problem does not arise, you need to be dressed stylishly and neatly on your first arrival in a new team. Later, when joining the group is successful, you can experiment, but also within reason;
• behavior. In everything, and especially in how the newcomer behaves in relation to the others, a "golden mean" is needed, that is, to be like everyone else: neither better, but not worse. For example, the class is massively not ready for the lesson, everyone refuses to go to the blackboard, then even if the task is completed as “excellent”, it cannot be answered. In general, all psychologists note that adolescents very subtly feel the weaknesses of others, therefore, in order to fit into a new team, one must neither grovel in front of strong leaders, nor push around the weak. At the same time, it is also impossible to be a spineless amoeba, you must always have your own opinion and be able to defend it with arguments.

In addition to the main reasons, the following factors can contribute to the appearance of an outcast in the children's collective:

• lameness, scars, wearing glasses and other features of appearance;
• diseases with noticeable consequences, for example, urinary incontinence, digestive problems leading to flatulence, etc.;
• tearfulness and the desire to blame everyone for everything, that is, sneaks;
• untidy appearance, patches, dirty clothes, the wrong size and length, as well as outdated things;
• a beginner who misses classes more often than anyone else, no matter whether due to illness, good reason or without a specific reason;
• a student who lags behind in subjects or refuses to complete assignments;
• a child under strong parental influence;
• an introvert who cannot and does not want to communicate with peers.

Types of rejection of rejected children in a team

• active rejection, when a newcomer is made to understand that his opinion does not mean anything to others;
• passive rejection when a beginner is ignored in certain situations;
• ignoring, when the child is simply not paid attention to;
• physical bullying, when children mock a child who is not accepted into the collective, humiliate, beat, etc.

It is necessary to involve all adults in solving the problem: the parents of the rejected child, teachers, a psychologist. Only general intervention can influence the current situation. And this must be done immediately.

I am 19 years old and I am studying at the University. It was always difficult for me to establish contacts with people. But it’s impossible to say that I don’t know how to do this: I have friends whom I met at master classes in my profession, I have friends at work, there are online friends, I communicate with several girls from other faculties.
At school, I was an outcast from grades 1 to 11, from grades 1 to 9 I did not know at all what a friendly relationship was. I thought it was my own fault. Then I went to a few circles, then to training courses, gradually the situation was getting better. I realized that I can be friends. I thought that when I graduated from school, the outcast would come to an end.
But I entered the University - and it began! At first everything was fine, the girls and I walked together to the metro, walked. They called me somewhere several times - I refused. From day 1 it was clear that we had a complete mismatch of interests. I am interested in study and future career, and they want to take a walk. One girl tried to make me addicted to fashionable clothes, but I am not interested in outfits. They talk about guys, about sex, about a wedding, about a future family, and I have a career in first place. They love shopping, but I don’t.
I don't remember when it started. I don't remember how it started. I think it started gradually. But by the end of the 1st course, they stupidly ignored me, did not invite me to birthdays, did not like my photos. I can't ask anyone for notes. They make stupid claims to me: "Don't ask questions, you're interfering with us!" or "Don't look for a teacher if 40 minutes or more have passed! If you didn't, you would go home." They laugh at me openly, not particularly embarrassed by my presence. And in general, when I am silent, I am an empty place for them!
Maybe the problem is with me? Maybe I provoke them? But I want to correct my guilt! And if not me - then who is to blame?
Alas, you won't be able to make friends with them. But what to do? How to maintain neutrality? And how not to become an outcast in the next team?

Hello Olga!
What do you want to become in the next team? Do you want to communicate with people? Do you want to communicate with those who are very different from you and do not share your values? The intonation of your letter gives the impression that you feel like a being of a higher class than your classmates. You are interested in study and career - that is why you enter the university; and girls are more concerned with personal life and realization in relationships and in the family.
If your hobby for shopping is a sign of underdevelopment, then why is the sympathy and disposition of underdeveloped creatures important to you? It looks like there is some kind of internal contradiction here. On the one hand, you feel that your behavior is more reasonable and correct, on the other hand, like any person (people are social creatures), you need communication, understanding, and friendship. Neutrality is a compromise between these conflicting motives, and I don't think it will truly satisfy your needs for communication and acceptance. Working with a psychologist will help you resolve this contradiction.

Best regards, Elena Livach, psychologist, St. Petersburg.

Good answer 0 Bad answer 5

Olga, you need to choose this team FOR YOURSELF, and not build yourself up for the team. I agree that it is difficult to select the entire team at the university. But it will be easier to do it later at work, choosing a company, including by who works there, if you put yourself and your needs in the center, and not the "social order" of other people.

And now - I'm more than sure that there are a couple of "white crows" in your faculty. They are always there - take a closer look. Why would you try to fit into a group of "regular" girls? Find the same "outcasts" - they will most likely turn out to be much more interesting to you than the "majority".

But for some reason you are trying to adapt to this majority. Apparently, you are not completely sure that you are "all right"? And for some reason you feel guilty for not being liked by the majority. Should you? Who and when told you that you should be "rated" by the majority, and only then will you be considered "socially suitable"? This is not true. Read this training, there are many answers to your questions:

http://psyhelp24.ru/kak-zavodit-dryzei/

Best regards, Anton Nesvitsky, psychologist St. Petersburg

Good answer 3 Bad answer 0

Hello Olga.

The problem of your peculiar role in the team that you are writing about is very serious. And this problem, based on your letter, has existed for a long time. One thing is for sure - without noticing it yourself, you are doing something, somehow provoking others that such an attitude towards you arises again. Apparently you are accustomed to just such a role in the team. Why? There can be many reasons for this, and this needs to be seriously understood.
Are you asking what to do, how not to become an outcast in the next team? It is impossible to give an answer and a universal recommendation right away so that the problem does not become in an instant. I think that if you decide for yourself that you need to solve this problem, then you should talk to a specialist psychologist. Then it will be possible not only to understand the reasons, to avoid a similar situation in the next teams, but also to change your current relationship at the University.

Respectfully yours, psychologist Alexey Bogintsev (St. Petersburg)

Good answer 1 Bad answer 3

This is most likely a consequence of an emotional trauma that created a barrier between you and other people. On an unconscious level, a decision was made to keep a distance from other people, most likely for protection purposes.

You can remove this in any case. It may take only 1-2 sessions with a specialist, or maybe much more, it all depends on the depth of the problem and how it was formed. Was there a single unpleasant incident that led to such a result - or is it a systematic pattern of interaction with loved ones that originated very early.

From practical advice- master the method of DPDG - information is on the Internet, and work out your unpleasant states using this method. There is also a rather exotic method described in the books on EFT by Harry Craig and Fred Gallo.

I will be hosting a reception in St. Petersburg on December 7-8 - you can contact me. Even in 1-2 times, you can achieve significant success, up to the complete elimination of the problem. As I said, a lot depends on the circumstances - but it will become easier anyway. My phone is on my page on the site.

In any case, I wish you every success.

Goloshchapov Andrey Viktorovich, psychologist Saratov

Good answer 2 Bad answer 1

An outcast is a person with a special worldview, who opposes himself to society and does not fit into its way of life. But such a person always has a chance to remain himself and at the same time not be rejected.

Instructions

If you feel that some of the foundations of society are becoming alien to you, do not try to resist this process. Man is an individual being, and the appearance of such personalities, who are called outcasts, illustrates how developed society is and whether there is disorder in it.

Developing your uniqueness, try to understand for yourself that any person, in essence, is. It's just that not everyone admits it. Worries about getting money, spending it on common pleasures, fashionable stylish clothes, rest - all this does not indicate the presence of a collective mind, the mind of the "herd", which excludes and casts doubt on existence, the only one in a human being?

Not to be outcast, it is necessary to accept the terms of society. Live by its rules, changing it into better side... Take advantage of this opportunity to improve the living environment in favor of a thinking, natural person who is part of nature.

To join any team or society, it is necessary to observe the adopted laws, style of behavior, "dress code", manner of communication. But you can still be yourself. Someone might not like your humor or point of view. Someone will be sickened by the "color scale and style" of your behavior and the desire to understand the essence of some, possibly forbidden things. Don't be afraid to voice your opinion.

Reflect on the fact that society certainly has an impact on the life of the individual. But there is also a feedback. The extent to which your personality is developed in accordance with the laws of nature affects the people around you, space, events.

Your position should be life-affirming. If you feel the need, nurture the best in yourself. Then it will be strange to hear that you - a person striving for perfection - are outcast for society.

Sources:

• Outcast child in class

In any team, perhaps, there are people who keep aloof. They have little contact with other members of the team. Do not participate in any common affairs and entertainment. And sometimes it is completely incomprehensible how they ended up in a team with which they have so little in common.

School is also a team. Sometimes even more difficult than an adult. Indeed, in the adult team, the requirements of ethics are still observed. Which is not always found in children's groups. Children do not know how to tolerate those who are incomprehensible to them or are in some way different from them. Such a child can not only be joked, but even mocked.

No parent wants such a fate for their child. And any parent will protect their child from the attacks of other children. But sometimes it is precisely this kind of protection, which turns into excessive custody, that serves as an extra reason for the mockery of the child by peers. Most often, such exaggerated custody is found on the part of caring mothers. Therefore, from early childhood, impressionable mothers must learn to control their emotions and impulses.

You need to learn to calmly look at abrasions and bumps. Don't panic about the girl's torn knees and torn dress. You shouldn't make a tragedy out of this and run screaming to look for the guilty. If only because in most cases the child receives such injuries in the heat of the game, when both he and his peers are so enthusiastic that they do not think about the safety of the nose and knees. And only together with the feeling of pain the feeling of resentment creeps in.

Parents should empathize with the child, but without much emotion. You can clarify how he feels at this moment. He will surely be distracted by the awareness of his feelings and will calm down much faster. This is how parents teach the child not to dwell on failures and troubles. And this skill will be very useful in a children's team.

Another reason for the separation of the child from the team may be the inability to defend his point of view. This happens with children, for whom everything is always decided by lovely parents or caring grandparents. Freedom and independence also need to be taught. Gradually, it is necessary to provide the child with the opportunity to choose in more and more situations. You can start with small household items.

A child confident in his own abilities can always defend his rights. And if such a child is outside the team, then only of his own free will. And no one can call him an outcast, because, despite his isolation, he will certainly enjoy the respect of his peers.

Sources:

• Outcast child in class

An outcast is a person who is rejected by society. All his attempts to re-enter his social environment end in one scenario - he is rejected again. Why does a person fall into the role of an outcast and how can he get out of this role?

When a team rejects a person

In every collective, the rejection of someone occurs in different form... At school, it can be ridicule, insults and even physical harassment, in adult groups, rejection can take place in the form of sophisticated ignorance, when there seems to be no outright neglect, but one person feels very bad, and all the others, as if by agreement in advance, play their role.

An outcast becomes the one in whom most of the people around him begin to see what they reject in themselves. These can be qualities such as insecurity, lack of success in the profession. However, it can also be any qualities that it was in this team, for some reason, were prohibited. For example, the boss does not like fussy employees or those who like to take the initiative. If he can spread his mood to the rest of the team, then an employee who has such qualities can become an outcast and endure many negative moments in relation to others.

Or another example. There are collectives in which an atmosphere of ambition reigns. Members of such teams set difficult tasks for themselves and each other and are very proud when they manage to implement them. If a person who is deprived of this quality falls into such a team, he can become an outcast due to the fact that others will not be able to respect him and will see in him what they would not want to see in themselves - the lack of desire to achieve anything in life.

Thus, in most cases it turns out that they become an outcast in relation to a certain group. If the same person finds himself in another community, where the qualities that are inherent in him are not rejected, he may feel quite good there.

Sometimes in children's collectives those children whose parents take too much care of them and constantly control their lives become outcasts. Also, the reason for rejection may be some peculiarity that the collective does not accept - illness, character trait, belonging to any social stratum, poverty or, on the contrary, material security.

In this case, you need to analyze what values ​​are inherent in this team, what qualities are rejected. After that, you need to understand what qualities a person who has become an outcast shows. If this contradiction is insoluble, then it is necessary to look for a new team, or build relationships based on this information.

When a person rejects others

However, it also happens that a person becomes an outcast in almost any collective. This is a completely different situation. Here you need to understand what qualities in a person make him an outcast.

First, such an outcast may initially deny many of the values ​​that the collective professes and show their disrespect in some of the statements and actions. This, in turn, is reason enough for rejection.

Secondly, each member of the community performs some function, does something useful for him. The outcast, on the other hand, refuses to invest in the team. He is focused on himself and on his opposition. By this he himself provokes others to rejection. How can you accept a person who rejects himself?

Thirdly, an outcast may simply not be able to build relationships with society due to their characteristics. If such a person does not respond to impulses from others and withdraws into himself, not having the ability to build a dialogue, then he can also become an outcast.

In life, in order to become an outcast, a person does not need the manifestation of all factors at the same time. One or two is enough to get rejection. In the first case, when a person denies the values ​​of the team, the reaction of those around him can become the most harsh. Whereas in the latter case, if there is simply an inability to build a dialogue, then rejection will take on a milder form.

Thus, it is necessary to understand the reasons that led to this problem in each particular case, so that they can subsequently be corrected.

Starting from kindergarten, and continuing in school, in almost every group (class) there is a girl or boy, whom others treat without due respect, and sometimes even hostile. Such children are accused of someone else's fault, their personal belongings are taken away, and offensive nicknames are invented.

Frequently, outcasts are children with physiological disabilities, of a different nationality or social stratum, “botanists” and “bespectacled”. Children become weak from the inability to consolidate boundaries with other people. This is due to the parents, who are very strict, demand the impossible and apply all decisions for their children.

In a learning environment, to be good, you need to stand out and follow the rest. Unlike adults, children do not control their emotions and show their aggression explicitly. At first, one oppressor will appear, but if he does not see resistance, then over time a group of similar ones will form.

How can you help such a child?

The widespread belief is that it is necessary to change the environment, talk with the parents of the abuser, connect the teacher or class leader. However, in practice, this method is ineffective. After such actions, the child is even more susceptible to humiliation, and he is considered a "mama's boy", unable to resolve the issue on his own. Consequently, rogue children should change themselves, and parents should only help and help.

First, find out the factors of the bad attitude towards the child. There are problems that can be easily fixed:

if the child has problems with weight - make sure that he eats right, get him interested in playing sports;

if the child wears glasses, replace them with lenses;

if the child devotes a lot of time to study - advise him to do it collective action in the classroom, take part in the preparation of the holiday;

if the child is poorly dressed, buy him fashionable clothes (normal clothes for children can also be purchased in stock stores).

It is much more difficult when the shortcomings are not eliminated for objective reasons. For example, physiological abnormalities or inappropriate nationality. Here you need to help the child find such a hobby or occupation in which he would have the opportunity to achieve great results. It can be Computer techologies, different types sports or arts and crafts.

Listen to and support your child's interests. In any case, do not talk about how everyone around is bad and evil. On the contrary, show your child how you can change people by changing yourself before. This will be a real discovery for him.

Related Videos

"Problems of rejection in the children's collective"

Tolochko Elena,

Yamalo-Nenets Autonomous Okrug, Nadym,

MOU "Average comprehensive school№ 2 Nadym ", grade 11

annotation

The need for communication with peers is determined by the specific genetic program of human development. With age, the need for peers is steadily increasing. In every children's group there are popular children and not so many. There are active, sociable children, and there are quiet, loners. Some children are so eager to be in the center of attention of classmates, to take a leadership position, while not being able to behave, choosing inappropriate ways of behavior, that they achieve attention "with a minus sign" - they become the object of ridicule and contempt.

Ostrakism is present in all children's groups, even in younger groups kindergarten. Most often, children with poor social skills or suffering from some kind of physical disability - "not like everyone else" become outcasts. At the same time, the question of which personality traits are provoking and prevent a child from becoming one of his own has been studied very little? How to avoid bullying from classmates and what to do if rejected?

The purpose

tasks

• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  

The study of literature, Internet articles and a survey of students made it possible to put forward hypothesis

Object

Subject studies have become the opinions of children about their peers rejected by them.

Base research are students of the MOU "Secondary school № 2 of Nadym" from 9 to 17 years old.

Output: the problem of the situation of rejection exists both for the rejected and for those who reject.

I	Introduction ……………………………………………………………………	1
II	Theoretical and psychological aspects of the problem of rejection ...	3
2.1	Exploring the causes of rejection ………………………………………… ..	5
2.2	Types of rejected children …………………………………………… .......	7
2.3	Consequences of rejection …………………………………………………	8
III	Conclusion…………………………………………………………………..	9
IV	Bibliography……………………………………………………….…	10
V	Application…………………………………………………………………	11

"The problem of rejection in the children's team"

Tolochko Elena,

Yamalo-Nenets Autonomous Okrug, Nadym,

MOU "Secondary school No. 2 of Nadym", grade 11

1. 
   Introduction

We want society to ask

Is it easy to be rejected?

But life's conclusions are simple ...

You can become an outcast too.

Valova G.V.

Having undertaken to talk about "worldly society", we must proceed from the fundamental spiritual principle that man lives on earth in order to become an angel in eternity; the aggregate of angels constitutes Heaven; hence, each of us is designed to serve as an integral part of(a grain, an atom) of this immense universal whole; therefore, our eternal life will not proceed alone, but in the company of other angels, where each performs his inherent function for the good of his neighbors, his angelic society and, finally, all Heaven as a whole. That's why man was created for life in society - but not in any kind, but in a society of his own kind, and people almost always forget this clause.

The need for communication with peers is determined by the specific genetic program of human development. With age, this need, especially from 4-5 years old, is steadily increasing. In every children's group there are popular children and not very, there are active, sociable, and there are quiet, loners. Some are satisfied with a secondary role in the class, others suffer from this situation, and do not know and do not know how to change it. Some children are so eager to be in the center of attention of classmates, to take a leadership position, that they seek attention "with a minus sign." – become the object of ridicule and contempt.

Ostrakism is present in all children's groups, even in the younger groups of the kindergarten. According to statistics, every 5th child in a team is a loner, every 3rd child tries to change his status in society and takes various ways to gain the respect of others, and every second child who is rejected by peers resigns to his fate and tries to stay in status loners.

In all cases of rejection, problems lie not only in the team, but also in the personality traits and behavior of the rejected. Research by psychologist Rosalinda Weissman shows that bullying is primarily caused by the victim's provocative behavior. Most often, children with poor social skills or suffering from some kind of physical disability - "not like everyone else" become outcasts. The second reason most often leading to isolation is the aggressiveness of the child. At the same time, the question of whether what kind personality traits are provocative. Does age affect the reason rejection? How avoid bullying by classmates and what do if rejected?

The purpose this work is the study of the psychological aspects of the problem of rejection in the children's team.

The skill of collectivism is the most important quality, without which a person cannot live normally in society. After all, from how strong and strong the collective charge

in the personality, his whole future life depends both in the family and in the student (labor) collective.

This target setting predetermined tasks research and content structure of the work itself:

• 
  to determine the psychological aspects of the problem of rejection in the children's team;
• 
  study the methodology of sociometric survey;
• 
  to reveal the causes and consequences of ostracism, to analyze the relevance of this problem among the rejected;
• 
  create a bank of exercises and games for team building.

Own observations, study of literature, Internet articles and questionnaires of students allowed us to put forward hypothesis : the causes and consequences of rejection of a child depend on the rejected and his provoking behavior.

Object research are personality traits with low social status in the team.

Item research - children's opinions about rejected peers.

Base research - students of the MOU "Secondary School No. 2
Nadym "from 9 to 17 years old.

Research methods - observation, psychodiagnostics (questionnaire survey); data processing (qualitative and quantitative analysis).

Practical relevance we see our work in the generalization of the features of ostracism in the children's collective, in the disclosure of the reasons for rejection at various age stages and in making preventive recommendations.

II... Theoretical and psychological aspects of the problem of rejection

Biographies of famous people, examples from fiction, their own observations suggest that there are outcasts in any children's collective. In every person there is such a feeling as rejection. We reject someone or someone rejects us. Almost always, people reject each other forcibly (resentment, withdrawal, isolation from others and secrecy).

V psychological dictionary rejection Is a psychological syndrome that develops into adolescence and manifested in a hostile attitude
in relation to society, deviant behavior, gross violations of communication as
with adults and with peers. Social disorientation is often the basis for the formation of rejection. The interpersonal situation of development with rejection is determined by the adolescent's opposition to society, covering all the main spheres of life: family, school-educational, communicative. The confrontation is active and reciprocal. The psychological profile with rejection is characterized by the idea of ​​an unjust structure of the world and the self-awareness of an outcast rejected by society. Rejection - "pronounced psychopathic psychological syndrome that seriously disrupts the social adaptation of a teenager"
(A.L. Venger).

From an early age, the child begins to reach out to communicate with peers. Emotional exchange in play and communication, and closer to school age, the establishment of stable friendships allows the child to decide important tasks development: master communication skills, explore yourself and your own characteristics, opportunities, gain recognition from others. At school age, when a child begins to form conscious ideas about himself, "feedback" from peers, their reaction to him becomes one of the factors of self-esteem. The child also begins to feel the need for affection, community and mutual understanding, not only with parents, but also with friends. But in the lives of many children there are situations when they feel

not accepted in the collective and turn out to be deeply hurt by either hostile or indifferent attitude towards themselves on the part of a group of peers, and this is confirmed by our psychological research.

In total, the study involved 267 people: 124 people - schoolchildren 9-10 years old; 88 people - schoolchildren 11-14 years old; 55 people - schoolchildren 15-17 years old (Table 1).

Table 1

resultsstudy of social status in classrooms

Class/ number of respondents		Class/ number of respondents	Number of children with signs of rejection	Class/ number of respondents	Number of children with signs of rejection
2a - 25	1 - rejected, 6 – partially rejected, 2 – ignored	6a - 25	2 - rejected, 1 - partially rejected, 3 - ignored	9g - 19	1 - rejected, 1 – partially rejected, 2 – ignored
2b - 25	0 - rejected, 1 - partially rejected, 10 - ignored	6c - 13	1 - rejected 0 - partially rejected, 0 - ignored	10a - 15	1 - rejected, 5 – partially rejected, 0 – ignored
3b - 16	0 - rejected, 1 - partially rejected, 3 - ignored	6g - 9	0 - rejected 3 - partially rejected, 1 - ignored	10b - 21	0 - rejected, 5 - partially rejected, 0 - ignored
4b - 21	1 - rejected, 2 - partially rejected, 5 - ignored	7a - 23	2 - rejected 5 - partially rejected, 1 - ignored
5a - 14	2 - rejected, 1 – partially rejected, 1 – ignored	7b - 18	1 - rejected, 3 - partially rejected, 0 - ignored
5b - 23	1 - rejected, 3 - partially rejected, 0 - ignored
Total 124	5 - rejected, 14 - partially rejected, 21 - ignored	Total 88	6 - rejected, 12 - partially rejected, 5 - ignored	Total 55	2 - rejected, 11 - partially rejected, 0 - ignored

Output: In the study groups, most of the participants have a more or less favorable status. The average level of well-being of relationships means the well-being of the team members in the system of interpersonal relations, their satisfaction in communication, recognition by peers. Research shows the presence in each class collective, on average, 1-2 leaders, 5-6 ignored and partially rejected. Analyzing the results of social status, we came to the conclusion that in the middle school age there are more ignored and rejected
but less than in the younger. This suggests that, in comparison with the junior level, teenage collectives are much better structured, the existing system of relations is more stable and constant.

2.1 Exploring the causes of rejection

According to many psychological studies, a child can be rejected by peers for various reasons:

• 
  External untidiness. For people with disabilities, this problem is
  at the first place. Such people are rejected not only by the society in which they live, they also reject themselves. Many people with disabilities are closed, their world is closed. And as a result, such people remain lonely for life. The thought that no one needs them eats away at them from the inside, and this is ordinary self-pity that turns into chronic rejection.
• 
  Ignorancestereotypes and unspoken rules of specifically child communication, adopted
  in this community. Children who have grown up among adults and spend virtually their entire lives among them are sometimes unfamiliar with the vocabulary and terminology used by their peers, and literally cannot find a common language with them.
• 
  Disorientationin social relationships of others... The child does not understand the correlation of social roles in the team, it is not clear to him why it is not always possible to express his opinion, he sees no reason to follow the orders of the "leader" and, most importantly, does not know what this threatens him with. And when ridicule or aggression falls on him, he does not grasp the connection between his actions and the reactions of the children around him. It's just a lack of social experience.

Lack of social experience, combined with such character traits that prevent its accumulation (shyness or aggressiveness), leads to a deficit in playing experience and, as a result, to rejection.

• 
  A gap in family education. A child who is not accepted into the game calls
  the parents have only irritation, even some shame for him. Often the parent's reaction
  on the failure of the child in communication - this is care and avoidance of a problem situation. They take him away from the company that did not accept him home, where toys, books, a computer, coloring books, mom - only there are no friends there, and it will never be so fun there as playing together.

So it turns out that the child does not know how to play, does not understand the partner, all the time confuses role and real relationships and statements, takes offense at them. There is a playroom
and social immaturity, unwillingness to play together. But the rest teach him
will not, here the law is simple: if you do not know how - go away.

In 1981. American psychologists Achenbach and Edelbrock conducted a study, the results of which showed that the reasons for rejection can be:

• 
  significant cultural, social, national differences between the child
  and surroundings;
• 
  low self-esteem, expectation of rejection from others;
• 
  insufficiently developed social skills;
• 
  reproduction of the victim's behavior model;
• 
  spontaneity and impulsivity.

Understanding the reasons for rejection and isolation of individual group members requires a systematic psychological analysis. It is important to understand what is the root of the reason:
in certain personality traits a person, the characteristics and traditions of the family structure, low self-esteem caused by negative past communication experiences, etc.

Investigating this aspect, we developed a questionnaire and interviewed 260 people: 70 people - schoolchildren 9-10 years old; 76 people - schoolchildren 11-14 years old; 64 people are schoolchildren 15-17 years old, 50 are adults (Table 2).

table 2

about the reasons for non-acceptance of personality in the team

Questions	Answers
	Pupils 9-10 years old	Pupils 11-14 years old	Pupils 15-17 years old	Adults
Are there people in your team that you don't want to communicate with?	Yes - 70 (100%) No - 0	Yes - 70 (92%) No - 6 (8%)	Yes - 58 (91%) No - 6 (9%)	Yes - 42 (84%) No - 8 (12%)
What turns you off about them?	19	14	9
Appearance
Poor academic performance	26	10	4
Behavior	35	39
Individual characteristics	-
Life position	-	6	27	16
Passivity	-		42	22
Aggression, anger		13		28
What would you suggest to them to change in themselves?	Behavior, Attitude towards learning	Character, style, behavior, be more fun lie less	To be easier attitude towards people, be more patient To be youreself, character, interests.	Attitude towards people attitude to yourself, become confident.

Output: How older age, the greater the difference between some and other reasons for rejection. It was revealed that the internal need for communication, the motives of affiliation
(from English afiliation - connection, connection) - the desire to be in the company of other people, a person's need to create warm, emotionally significant relationships with other people.), psychological defenses determine the specifics of interpersonal communication. All these phenomena are interconnected, have gender determination and dynamically change with age.

So, for example, in the age group from 9 to 10 years old and from 11 to 14, behavior, poor academic performance and external data dominate.

Analysis of the results of the causes of rejection and isolation of the elder age group speaks of the relevance of a life position and life activity.

The respondents of the “adults” group confirm the importance of the personal “I-concept”, adequate self-esteem. It can be argued that the reasons for rejection are related

with age individual characteristics and depend on the dominant activity.

2.2 Types of rejectedchildren

Observations of rejected children show that they themselves do a lot to become victims of attacks. As already mentioned, they can be intrusive, inadequate, easily succumb to the provocations of classmates, give out the expected reactions. Naturally, it is interesting to offend someone who throws their fists.

on others after any innocent remark addressed to themselves, who begins to sob if they tease him a little, etc. (Annex 1)

In any group at any age stage there is a social situation of development in which everyone, playing his role, chooses the tactics of behavior. It is important to realize possible mistakes in behavior at different age stages in order to correct them. The results of the survey of respondents are shown in Table 3.

Table 3

The result of the survey of respondents of different age groups
about the characteristics of rejected people

Questions	Answers
	Pupils 9-10 years old	Pupils 11-14 years old	Pupils 15-17 years old	Adults
What kind of people do you not associate with?	With classmates who sneak teased study poorly does not listen to the teacher.	With classmates who are bored not interested, who are very smart not like everyone else, humiliate others, who have bad behavior.	With classmates with different interests, who uncommunicative inactive closed, selfish, boring ..	With the arrogant not reliable, which can be called weak, callous, cruel, liars, traitors.

Output: Rejection is a relationship barometer, not how people feel about you, but how you feel about people. You will not be rejected by other people and alone if you learn to be an interesting, intelligent and cheerful person, learn to be compassionate and communicate, change your behavior and learn to respect others and yourself.
2.3 Consequences of rejection

The desire to become your own in the team, to win the respect of classmates can push a child to obscene acts. The rejected is able to come up with anything to attract attention to himself. He brags about non-existent relatives, invent their relationship with some famous person... In most cases, the surrounding people demand proof, and the child begins to "get out", he has to lie more and more, and he becomes completely confused.

The lack of social recognition and communication is compensated by the search for an out-of-school peer circle characterized by unlawful behavior. Bad classroom relationships lead to various negative consequences. Lack of peer society negatively affects the development of communication skills and self-awareness of the individual.

In addition, the difficulty in relations with peers that appeared in childhood is often a harbinger of emotional distress in the future. At the same time, outcast children often develop psychological trauma and academic performance declines. Research by Professor Eric S. Buhs has shown that:

• 
  children rejected by the collective in kindergarten are ostracized in school;
• 
  children aged 5 to 11, rejected by their peers, receive according to the results training tests more low scores compared to classmates. Their performance in subjects such as reading and arithmetic leaves a lot to be desired.

Bullying causes irreparable damage to the victim's psyche. Bad relationships with classmates can cause low academic performance, reluctance to attend school, and the child can develop various neurotic and even mental disorders. Outcasts are aggressive, uncooperative, prone to destructive behavior and are often unable to control the expression of strong feelings. They begin to interrupt their playmates, not take turns in conversation, and are less empathic towards their peers.

The worst thing is that regular bullying (Appendix 2) can provoke a suicide attempt or an attempt on the life of one of the persecutors. Problems in communication with peers, rejection at an early age later manifests itself in delinquency, or emotional disturbance.

The situation of bullying is no less harmful for the psyche of persecutors and observers. They risk being left weak-willed pawns in the hands of the stronger and more adventurous. And the decision made under the influence of the majority, contrary to the voice of conscience, and the constant fear of being in the victim's place contribute to a decrease in self-esteem, a loss of self-respect.

Of practical interest is the question of how group members perceive their statuses, that is, their objective position in the system of group preferences.

A total of 240 people took part in the study: 50 people - schoolchildren of 9-10 years old; 90 people - schoolchildren 11-14 years old; 70 people - schoolchildren 15-17 years old, 30 - adults.

Table 4

Questions	Answers
	Pupils 9-10 years old	Pupils 11-14 years old	Pupils 15-17 years old	Adults
Do you feel rejected by the team?	Yes - 12 (24%) No - 38 (76%)	Yes - 65 (72%) No - 25 (28%)	Yes - 32 (46%) No - 38 (54%)	Yes - 0 (-%) No - 30 (100%)
Would you be able to make friends with him if he changed?	Yes - 56 (80%), No - 14 (20%)	Yes - 47 (62%), No - 29 (38%)	Yes - 18 (28%), No - 46 (72%)	Yes - 9 (18%), I don't know - 34 (68%), No - 7 (14%)

Output: the least adequate perception and assessment of their group role are extreme status categories: "stars", on the one hand, "outcasts" and isolated, on the other. Medium-status people often have inadequate perception, which is explained by protection, low social reflection and low self-esteem.
IIIConclusion

There are different children with different needs for communication. A single friend is enough for one, with whom they see once a week, so as not to feel lonely and proudly thinks: "I have a friend." And the other is bad if around him

a whole noisy company does not swirl, where everyone obeys his word and even gesture.

In those children who are not perceived by their peers, there is always something that can alienate others, provoke attacks from them. Rejected children are not like others, most often children with obvious problems in behavior and character become rejected. The situation of rejection is conditioned by two positions of the one who rejects and the rejected.

In the first case, the rejection of the position of the other arises from the low plastic ability of communicative functions in certain age periods and because of the unresolved intrapersonal conflict between consciousness and subconsciousness, between "I-real" and "I-ideal" (what you blame is to blame).

Inconsistency of position rejected due to his negative social and ego identification (the difficulty of finding his "I": "I" - physical, "I" - mental, "I" - social, etc.).

Our hypothesis: the causes and consequences of rejecting a child depend on
from the rejected and his provocative behavior v In the course of the study, it was fully confirmed: first of all, children who had poorly formed self-esteem and communication skills became rejected.

In addition, research has shown that there are other reasons for the situation of rejection: problems in the insolvency of the personality of those who reject. They made accusations

in boredom, not interesting, aggressiveness, conflict and others, that is, in those qualities that are the reasons for their intrapersonal conflict between the conscious and unworked subconscious.

It can be concluded that the problem of the situation of rejection exists both among the rejected and

and those who reject. Therefore, our recommendations will be addressed to both the first and
and to the second group of opponents.

Bibliography

1. 
   Akimova G.E., How to help your child: A guide for caring parents. - Yekaterinburg: U-Fraktoria, 2004;
2. 
   Zavyalova N.A. Your children are among their peers. - M .: Knowledge, 1981;
3. 
   Zimbardo F., Leippe M. Social impact - St. Petersburg: Publishing house "Peter", 2004 reasons for rejection:
4. 
   Popov V.S. Soul awakening. - M .: Knowledge, 1990;
5. 
   Starobinsky E.E., "How to manage a team", -M .: 1995
6. 
   Helen Bee Child Development. - 9th edition. - SPb .: Peter, 2004
7. 
   Chufarovsky Yu.V. Psychology of communication in the formation and formation of personality. - M., 2002.
8. 
   Schneider L.B. Identification. Reader - M .: Publishing house of the Moscow Psychological and Social Institute; Voronezh: Publishing House NPO "MODEK", 2003.
9. 
   www.gorod-psy.ru
10. 
    www.abcwoman.ru
11. 
    www.effecton.ru
12. 
    www.michaelglebov.ru Mikhail Glebov Relations between the team and the person
13. 
    http://adalin.mospsy.ru Rogue children: psychological work with the problem

Annex 1

The types of rejected children who are most often attacked.

• 
  "Favorite". Janusz Korczak wrote: “Children do not like those peers who are singled out by teachers. Especially if they cannot understand why the "favorite" is better than them. " Adults, knowing about the difficult fate of their ward, regret and take under their protection and patronage, thereby condemning them to complete loneliness and endless insults from classmates who do not know the reason for such an attitude towards him.
• 
  "Sticking". American psychologist Violet Oaklander believes that such intrusiveness is the result of a child's feelings of insecurity. Such children literally hang in public, grabbing them physically in order to feel more secure.
• 
  "Jester". A child who has chosen such a tactic of behavior, as it were, prevents attacks from others. They stop taking him seriously and therefore do not particularly offend him. Such a child, even hearing the laughter of his peers, does not feel lonely.

In the literature, two more types of children are described that no one specifically offends,
does not tease, they are not bullied, but they are rejected, they become lonely in the circle of classmates.

• 
  Embittered – children who have failed to establish contact with peers begin to behave as if they are taking revenge on others for their failures.
• 
  Unpopular – unable to initiate communication, shy, do not know,
  how to attract the attention of classmates, so they are not noticed. This often happens when a child has come to an already established team or often misses school.

Appendix 2

Types of rejection

There are different children with different needs for communication. A single friend is enough for one, with whom they see once a week, so as not to feel lonely and proudly consider: "I have a friend." And it is bad for another if a whole noisy company does not swirl around him, where everyone obeys his word and even a gesture.

There are several types of rejection, they all, to a greater or lesser extent, do school life the rejected child is unbearable.

• 
  Bullying - the child is not given a pass, they call names, beat, persecute. Purpose: revenge, fun, and more.
• 
  Active rejection - arises in response to the initiative coming from the rejected child, make it clear that he is nobody, his opinion does not mean anything.
• 
  Passive rejection- arises in situations when it is necessary to choose someone to join the team, take into the game, sit down at the school desk, in such cases children usually refuse, saying: "I will not be with him!"
• 
  Ignoring- they simply do not pay attention to the child, they do not communicate, they do not notice, they have nothing against it, but they are not interested either.
• 
  Moral violence- verbal attacks from peers. Moral violence includes threats of physical violence, blackmail. Blackmail is most often associated with a threat to tell an adult about something, to give them away any wrongdoing of the victim if she does not fulfill the requirements of the persecutor.
• 
  Calling - psychologist M. V. Osorina writes: "Name-calling is always a test of the child's" I "for psychological strength." It is about name-calling by peers that rejected children most often complain about.
• 
  Nicknames and teasers - Why do children so willingly and often repeat hurtful words? First, they are attracted by the emotionality with which these words are pronounced by the people around them. A swearing person usually "radiates" boundless self-confidence, his gestures are very expressive, a certain excitement and tension arises around him. Secondly, seeing that such words shock, anger and upset the person to whom they are addressed, children begin to use them to annoy, tease others.

Appendix 3
Dear respondent,

we ask you to take part in our scientific research and honestly answer questions

We guarantee the anonymity of the survey

1. 
   Are there any students in your class that you don't communicate with? NOT REALLY
2. 
   Why don't you communicate with them? ________________________________________________
3. 
   Would you like to exclude them from the class? NOT REALLY
4. 
   What turns you off about them (choose):
   
5. 
   Would you be able to make friends with him if he changed? NOT REALLY
6. 
   What would you suggest to them to change in themselves? ______________________________________________
7. 
   If you were rejected and knew the reasons for this, would you change your character traits, principles? NOT REALLY
8. 
   Does the child's social status influence the reason for his rejection? NOT REALLY

Stock
"Let's be friends"

Questionnaires and diagnostics

learners

Appendix 4

Team building games

Game "Raft"

Target: rallying a cool team.

Equipment: whatman.

Instructions: the presenter invites the participants to go on a journey along the fast river. Whatman is a raft. All participants stand on whatman paper, supporting and helping each other. Suddenly, on the way, the travelers come across a large stone, on which the raft falls and breaks in half. The leader breaks the raft in two. The task of the guys is to stand on one half of the Whatman paper, helping each other. This combination with a gaping Whatman paper in half continues several times.

Discussion: Guys, was it difficult for you? What were your difficulties? Would you like to help and support everyone? Could you dump your classmate? And if you did not communicate with him, what would you do?
The game "Stream"

Target: enhancing communication skills

Instructions: Children line up in pairs in a column, holding hands with a partner, facing the leading pair. The leading pair turns, stands in front of the entire column and begins to move deeper into the stream. The first pair passes the raised hands going through the collar, and the next one, on the contrary, itself passes through the collar of a pair going deep into the stream, etc. The leading pair, reaching the end of the stream, turns along the line, becoming its end. Each next pair, being in the leader's place, in turn, turns to face the line and begins to move into the depths of the stream. The movement is repeated until the leading couple is in their place, waiting for everyone else to come to their places. Then the next figure begins.
Mountain Pass game

Target: rallying the children's team.

Instructions: The leader divides the guys into two groups so that the rejected guys are in both groups. The first group of children joins hands and makes "obstacles". Group II also joins hands and overcomes obstacles without tearing hands and helping each other.
Game "Suitcase"

Target: the formation of the ability to find positive qualities in others.

Instructions: all participants sit in a circle. One of them goes to the center,
and the rest on small sheets of paper write one thing positive quality the participant and a compliment to the one who stood in the center of the circle.

36 interpersonal relationships in the group

The system of interpersonal relations includes a set of likes and dislikes, preferences and rejections of all members of the group.

Sociometric status

Each individual in the group has his own sociometric status, which can be defined as the sum of preferences and rejections received from other members. Sociometric status can be higher or lower, depending on what feelings other members of the group have towards this subject - positive or negative. The collection of all statuses sets status hierarchy in a group.

The most high-status are the so-called sociometric stars- members of the group with the maximum number of positive choices with a small number of negative choices. These are the people to whom the sympathy of the majority, or at least many of the members of the group, is addressed.

Next come high-status, medium-status and low-status group members, defined by the number of positive choices and not having a large number of negative choices. There are groups in which there are no sociometric stars, but there are only high-, medium-, and low-status ones.

At a lower level of intergroup relations are isolated- subjects that do not have any elections, both positive and negative. The position of an isolated person in a group is one of the most unfavorable.

Les Miserables- these are members of the group who have a large number of negative choices and a small number of preferences. At the last rung of the hierarchical ladder of social preferences are neglected or outcast- members of the group who do not have a single positive choice in the presence of negative ones.

Often times, the position of the sociometric star is viewed as the position of a leader. This is not entirely true, since leadership is associated with intervention in the process of action, and sociometric status is determined by feelings... You can find subjects who are both sociometric stars and leaders, but this combination is rare. A person often loses the sympathy of others, becoming a leader. The sociometric star evokes a kind attitude, primarily because other people feel psychologically comfortable in the presence of this person. As for the leader, his socio-psychological function is related to management.

The problem of combining a leader and a sociometric star in one person is extremely acute both for the person himself and for the group as a whole. Sometimes, in critical social situations this can provoke some tendencies of fanatical behavior of the group members. In an ordinary family, roles can be distributed as follows: father is a leader, mother is a sociometric star. High-status, middle-status and low-status members of the group usually make up the majority of the group.

Isolated, rejected and neglected group members are at risk for interpersonal relationships. Special attention should be paid to the position of the isolated person. In many cases, it turns out to be more unfavorable than the position of the rejected or even neglected. A negative attitude towards a person in a group is a more favorable social factor than the absence of any attitude, since a negative incentive is better than its absence. Sometimes the transition of a person from the position of neglected to the position of isolated is considered a great punishment. The phenomenon of the influence of a boycott is known - the termination of relations with a person, lack of response to his words and actions and manifestations of various feelings towards him. With a boycott, a person finds himself not in the position of the neglected, towards whom the negative feelings of others are directed, but in the position of the isolated, to which others are completely indifferent. Changing the sociometric status of a group member is an important issue. A person's status is often a relatively stable value. However, from the point of view of personality development, the invariability of sociometric status is considered as a risk factor, even if it is a high status.

The need to change sociometric status dictated by the needs of a person to develop flexible strategies of behavior for social adaptation in various groups. Therefore, it is advisable to go through various statuses. The complexity of the problem also lies in the fact that people perceive and relate to their status differently. Most have an idea of ​​what status they occupy in the basic heading. Medium-status members of the group, as a rule, perceive their position adequately. But the extreme status categories, due to the action of psychological defenses, often perceive other people's attitudes towards themselves inadequately. Most often, it is sociometric stars and neglected group members who do not realize their position in the system of interpersonal relations in the group.

The stability of sociometric status is determined by many factors, among which the following are distinguished:

appearance (physical attractiveness, the leading modality of facial expressions, appearance, non-verbal language);

success in leading activities;

some character traits and temperament(tolerance, sociability, goodwill, low anxiety, stability nervous system and etc.);

the correspondence of the values ​​of the individual to the values ​​of the group of which he is a member;

position in other social groups.

To change the status of a person in a group, sometimes it is enough just to work with one or another factor of status.

Reciprocity of emotional preferences

Knowledge of sociometric status does not provide complete information about a person's position in the system of interpersonal relations. You also need to know about such a phenomenon as reciprocity of emotional preferences group members. Even a sociometric star will feel unhappy if her choices are not reciprocated. Conversely, the neglected group member can feel quite well if his choice is mutual. The more mutual choices a member of the group has, the more stable and favorable his position in the system of interpersonal relations will be. Groups vary considerably in the reciprocity of the choice of their members. If there are few mutual choices in the group, then there will be weak coordination of actions and emotional dissatisfaction of its members with interpersonal relationships.

Interpersonal relationships in a group include relationships of interpersonal preference.

Small group is divided into microgroups, and the larger the small group, the more microgroups there are. Each microgroup has its own sociometric structure. Often, a microgroup is a group of friends with common interests. Sometimes the association of people into microgroups can be caused by other reasons, for example, belonging to a certain social stratum, etc.

Identifying the system of rejection in the group is necessary to predict its actions in the situation conflict... Outcasts in a group can be grouped into three types.

The first type is normative, indicating the well-being of relationships in general, when rejections are not pronounced, there are no people who have received a large number of negative choices, and all rejections are distributed relatively evenly. There are no people whose rejection prevails over preferences.

The second type is the polarization of rejection, in which there are two main microgroups that reject each other.

The third type is the most unfavorable for the group, when there will be only one outcast, acting as the respondent for all misunderstandings, the so-called "switchman". Sometimes in a group, a negative attitude towards one person on the part of the majority can be quite justified. However, such cases are considered exceptional. If the group always chooses the "switchman", then we can conclude about the unfavorable nature of interpersonal relations in it. Even if the rejected leaves the group, a new “guilty” will be found for the appropriate role.

Group habits in the system of interpersonal relations are formed in the same way as any other group activities.

Habit refers to a form of social control and guides the behavior of specific individuals and the group as a whole.

The most important characteristics of the system of intragroup preferences are: sociometric status, reciprocity of choice, the presence of stable groups of interpersonal preferences and the system of rejection. Despite the equal importance of all characteristics, special attention is paid to the status of the subject. This is due to the fact that, firstly, status has relative social stability, and the subject often transfers it from one group to another. Secondly, it is the dynamics of the status hierarchy that entails corresponding changes in the system of rejection and relations between microgroups. In addition, a person's understanding of his status in the system of interpersonal relations has a significant impact on the self-esteem of the individual.

In the context of the group pressure process, one usually speaks of conformity, which is understood as behavior the individual regarding the position of the group, the measure of his “submission” to group pressure, his acceptance or rejection of group norms and rules. The opposite concepts of conformity are independence of behavior, independence of views, resistance to group pressure, etc.

Conformity is most clearly manifested in conditions of open conflict between the opinions of the group and the individual. The extent to which an individual is ready to follow the opinion of the group (even if it is obviously erroneous) determines the degree of its conformity.

The mechanism of group pressure was clearly demonstrated in the well-known experiments of S. Ash. A group of subjects of 7-9 people, who were in a common room, were asked to compare two cards proposed by the experimenter. One card showed one vertical line, the other three, but of different lengths. One of the lines on the second card was identical to the one on the first.

The difference in the length of the three lines was quite obvious and, acting on their own (outside the group), only one percent of the subjects could occasionally make a mistake in identifying the lines. In accordance with the instructions, the subject had to loudly announce which of the three lines on the second card corresponds to the line shown on the first card.

Ash wondered what would happen if all members of the group began to give incorrect answers, whether in this case group pressure could force an uninformed (i.e., unaware that the group is deliberately distorting their assessments) subject to change his mind. The procedure was designed in such a way that in each of the groups there was only one uninformed subject and his turn to answer the experimenter's question was the last.

The experiment began with several trial runs. Here all the subjects gave the correct answers. Only after this did the first subject, and after him all the others, begin to give an obvious wrong answer. The last to answer was the "naive" subject, and the experimenter was given the opportunity to check whether he would "resist" in his own absolutely correct opinion or "succumb" to the pressure of the group. Thus, the uninformed subject faced a dilemma: either to believe their eyes and give an obvious and correct answer, or, following the opinion, say what everyone is saying.

Numerous experiments conducted by Ash showed that about 35% of the subjects showed conformal behavior, i.e. preferred the obvious truth to agree with the group, i.e. every third gave a deliberately false answer, unable to resist the consensus omnium. In subsequent interviews, all subjects, including those who did not succumb to group pressure, reported that the opinion of the majority had a very strong effect on them, forcing even the "persistent" to doubt the correctness of their answers. It is curious that, as a rule, the subjects associated their conformity not with objective processes within the group, but exclusively with their personal characteristics.

Intra-group conflicts The parties to an intra-group conflict are either individual members of the group, or individual groups within it, or a member of the group and the rest of it. The main criterion for the presence of intragroup conflict is the destruction of intragroup ties. The main positive functions of such conflicts are those that do not affect the foundations of the group's existence, contributing only to the reorientation of norms and relations in accordance with the emerging need.

Conflict within a group can be a mechanism for transforming norms in relation to new conditions. Conflicts often lead to the creation of associations and coalitions within groups, due to which interaction between members of the entire association is ensured, isolation is reduced, the ground is created for the implementation of the individual activity of the members of the group Donchenko, E.A. Personality: conflict, harmony. / E.A. Donchenko, T.A. Titarenko - Kiev, 1989 - pp. 48-55.

The general level of tension in which a person or group exists is identified as the most important factor determining the frequency of conflicts in groups. Whether a particular event will lead to conflict depends critically on the level of tension or social atmosphere in the group.

The main reasons for most conflicts in groups, including in organizations, are the allocation of resources, which are always limited; the interdependence of the tasks of a person or group; differences in goals, perceptions and values, in demeanor and life experience; as well as poor communications.

Any conflict has its consequences. So, there are several possible functional consequences of the conflict. One is that the problem can be solved in a way that is acceptable to all parties, and as a result, people will feel more involved in solving the problem. This, in turn, minimizes or eliminates difficulties in implementing decisions - hostility, injustice, and being forced to act against their will. Another functional consequence is that the parties will be more cooperative rather than antagonistic in future situations, possibly fraught with conflict. In addition, conflict can reduce the possibility of groupthink and submissiveness syndrome, when subordinates do not express ideas that they believe do not correspond to those of their leaders. Through conflicts, team members can work through execution problems even before the solution begins to execute.

On the other hand, it is difficult to avoid dysfunctional consequences: dissatisfaction, less cooperation in the future, strong loyalty to one's group and more unproductive competition with other groups, the perception of the other side as an "enemy", the curtailment of interaction and communication between the conflicting parties, an increase in hostility between conflicting parties, a shift in focus: giving “victory” in a conflict more importance than solving a real problem.