How to Build Self-Confidence: Tips and Tricks. How to gain self-confidence, achieve calmness and increase self-esteem: discovering the main secrets of Gaining self-confidence

Do you want to be more confident in yourself? This is quite feasible. Most experts agree that self-confidence is a combination of healthy self-esteem and self-confidence. Start believing in yourself, your abilities, and your goals. It will help you deal with problems and stressors while boosting your self-confidence. Maintain a positive attitude, set measurable goals, and connect with other confident and supportive people. This will greatly advance you towards the development of the desired quality.

Steps

Set goals

List your strengths. This is a simple task to help you tune in to a positive outlook, which is vital to maintaining your confidence. Yes, you have disadvantages (everyone has them), but often a lack of self-confidence stems from low self-esteem. Thanks to the list of positive elements in life, you can leave minor negative moments in the past. Here's what you can add:

• Talents or skills. They don't have to be great. It just means that you consider yourself gifted or skilled in a particular field, such as sports, art, business, or creativity.
• Personal qualities. Note any personality traits that you are proud of. For example, you consider yourself a hardworking, caring, or creative person.
• Achievements. This is what you have achieved and what you are proud of. You may have performed at a concert, delivered a speech to an audience, baked a birthday cake, or taken part in a marathon.

1. Deal with your insecurities. Often this feeling develops when it seems to us that others do not support us and do not listen to us. This often begins in early childhood and stems from family relationships. Perhaps your parents criticized you constantly, were harsh on you, or punished you too often. Such upbringing can interfere with the development of a child's self-confidence, which makes him anxious, indecisive and fearful as an adult, who lacks a sense of his own self. On the other hand, overprotective parents are doing them a disservice, too, by not letting them try, fail, try again, and finally succeed. The adult version of such a child will be afraid to try new things out of fear of failure.

   • For example, if your parents have always criticized your efforts at school, you may have grown up with the belief that you are not smart or that you cannot succeed in life. Chances are, you believe that others think you are stupid and lazy.
   • Or, if your parents never let you go as a child out of fear of getting lost or being kidnapped, it may be difficult for you to travel to unfamiliar places as an adult. Truth be told, failing or getting lost will only help you learn something.

2. Write down how much faith in yourself you want to gain. Do you want to communicate with people confidently? Performing in public? List the areas in which you are seeking to build confidence in yourself. This will give you a clearer plan.

   Make a simple plan of action. Once you understand what area you would like to gain confidence in, decide exactly how to do it. You can outline the steps in your action plan. Start small and work your way up to more difficult situations or interactions.

   Set small and measurable goals. Be sure to break down your goals into more detailed steps. This way you can track your progress. You will also feel more confident with these achievements. Make sure the goals are achievable and manageable.

   Build Your Confidence

   1. Get the information you need. Depending on the area in which you want to gain confidence, look for the potential resources you need. Check if you require formal training or education to achieve your goals. After all, it is difficult to fly an airplane with confidence if you do not have the appropriate training or if you have never sat in a pilot's seat. Going through formal training will provide you with many opportunities to practice, which is another great way to gain faith in yourself.

      • Consider finding a mentor, enrolling in courses, or deepening your knowledge of your desired subject. This will provide you with the tools you need to be successful.

   2. Stay positive and don't be discouraged. To gain self-confidence, it is important to stay focused and have a positive attitude. If you are constantly criticized, or if your efforts go unnoticed, it can easily become discouraged. Take any negative doubts you have and turn them into positive affirmations or challenges. Create your own rituals to develop positive self-talk and give yourself affirmations.

      • For example, look at yourself in the mirror every morning while brushing your teeth, smile and say: "Today I will try my best and I deserve faith in myself!"
      • Do what you really like. Listen to music, visit art galleries, play basketball with your friends. Find something you love and be sure to devote time to it often. This will prevent negative doubts from coming back.

   3. Create a support group. Negative environments are a self-confidence killer. Surround yourself with people who will support your efforts. This way, you can freely practice the skills you need to gain self-confidence without being judged by others. Let your support group know that you are trying to build confidence in yourself.

      • If you are experiencing difficulties, do not hesitate to ask a friend or family member for help or support.

   4. Remind yourself of your strengths. Knowing that you have positive traits and qualities is good, but if you don't pick them out and focus on them every day, you'll soon find yourself in the habit of doubting and criticizing yourself again. Keep your list of strengths in an easily accessible place so you can revisit it frequently. Repeat a mantra or affirmation that reminds you of your positive qualities and skills.

      • For example, every time you go to the bathroom, look in the mirror and say something nice about yourself. That way, your strengths will be firmly embedded in your head and will increase your self-confidence. Before you have time to look back, you begin to perceive yourself normally and stop being afraid of other people's opinions, and this is one of the main qualities of a truly self-confident person.

   5. Take conscious risks. If you lack confidence in yourself, chances are you don't take risks very often. On the other hand, self-confident people can do reckless things. Find balance and take risks based on your own abilities and the reality of the situation. By taking conscious risks, you can give the necessary boost to your confidence.

      • Each person in his own way perceives the concept of "taking risks." You may decide to attend a social event where you would otherwise be afraid to go, or you risk confronting a friend who pesters you. Give yourself the opportunity to enjoy new social situations or get out of unfavorable ones.

   Stay Confident in Difficult Situations

   1. Deal with rejection . Understand that rejection is part of life. Despite the pain, you can pull yourself together and move on. Learn to go through it with dignity. For example, respond kindly to rejection and accept the fact that you have been rejected. Respect the other person's decision and you will appear confident.

      Understand bullying . Know how to stand up for yourself. Abusers will continue to tease you if you let them. Better to confront them and rely on your support group. Fight bullying with confidence and courage. Tell the abuser to stop.

      • Don't take bullying as part of your life. Bullying is wrong and you have the right to live without it, even if you need to talk to your boss or school principal to change the situation.

   2. Get a job interview . Self-confidence is key when it comes to job interviews. Employers are constantly looking for people who seem confident and capable. While such an important event can be draining and stressful, one of the best options is to pretend you're confident. As you become more comfortable, you will feel yourself relaxing and gaining true self-confidence.

      Handle public speaking . Entire books have been written on preparing and delivering effective speech, but as with most human interactions, one of the keys to success is self-confidence. Consider trying a few of the following tricks:

   Take care of yourself

   1. Realize the importance of self-care. Oftentimes, when a person lacks confidence, their attitude toward self-care boils down to the thought, "Who cares about this?" This should worry you. Turning a blind eye to things like hygiene, health, and time management is a surefire way to lower your self-esteem, as your ideal self will drift further and further away from reality.

      • Taking good care of yourself will break the cycle and stimulate a powerful boost of self-confidence.

   2. Practice good hygiene. Set aside a certain amount of time each morning for daily hygiene. Take a shower, wash your face, change your clothes - do whatever it takes to get ready for the day ahead. By the time you are ready to step outside the door, you should feel more confident than usual.

      • Observe the ritual every day to maintain this self-confidence.

   3. Take care of your health. Simply put, eat healthy foods that include whole grains, fruits, vegetables, dairy products, and lean proteins. Limit your intake of alcohol, fatty foods, and do not overeat. Be sure to exercise regularly throughout the week.

      • Quit smoking, especially if you use cigarettes as a support in social situations. Build self-confidence by giving up this habit.

   4. Manage your sleep schedule. It can be difficult to maintain a regular sleep schedule, especially while attending school or university. However, try to be in bed at the same time every night and get up at the same time every morning. Strive to wake up at least an hour before you leave home to go to work or school.

      • We build our daily lives around the time we spend asleep, so the first step to organizing your day is to make sure you can get up at the same time every morning to follow your schedule.

   Sources of

   1. Mankelow, J. & Carlson, A. (nd). Building self-confidence: Preparing yourself for success http://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html
   2. Norton, B. (2014). Overcome social anxiety and shyness: how to become confident and more outgoing. Amazon digital services.
   3. http://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html
   4. Apter, T. (2012). The confident child: Raising children to believe in themselves. Norton: NY.
   5. Neal, J. & Frick-Horbury, D. (2001). The effects of parenting styles and childhood attachment patterns on intimate relationships. Journal of Instructional Psychology, 28 (3). p. 178-183.
   6. Newlands, M. (2015). 6 simple ways you can build self-confidence and succeed.

Many people are haunted by constant self-doubt and doubts about their own capabilities. The psychological barrier built by a person is difficult to cross. Some feel insecure due to constant failures, others consider themselves unworthy of more, others are afraid to look bad in the eyes of others. How to erase the line that interferes with a calm existence and makes you feel inferior? There are a number of trainings aimed at identifying inner strength, but it will be more effective to cope with uncertainty on your own.

A person who wants to gain confidence must get to know himself and explore his own "I". Look for activities that help you calm down, gain experience, discover new professional qualities, learn from the mistakes you have made. Do not be isolated from your negative sides, they are important for personal growth.

In most cases, people project their present blunders for the rest of their lives. When it seems to you that now everything is bad and will not be better, take a look at your positive sides. Remember past successes and do not succumb to the present depression. There is no need to try to calm down, look at things soberly: you have not been a failure all your life? Refer to the facts and run through the moments in your head when you were confident. Convince your own ego that doubts are groundless and that you are still the same person as you were a few months ago.

By unlocking your potential, you will realize how wrong you were, being insecure. The opinions of others will become irrelevant as you will better understand what needs to be done at a certain moment. Knowing the essence, a person becomes self-confident and perspectives open before him. As you gain experience, expand your horizons and spiritually enrich yourself, you will begin to rely exclusively on yourself. Self-sufficiency helps build confidence!

Action
One of the most effective ways to build confidence is through action. Every time you start a business, try to bring it to the end. Being at home regularly and thinking about what you would like to do will only make the situation worse.

To take action and gain confidence, you need to be passionate about it. Want a nice car but don't have the funds? Change your job to a more paid one, a change of scenery and will be the beginning of action. The truth is quite understandable, the desire to have something valuable pushes you to act. Set yourself big goals, they are easier to hit!

Decided to get down to business, but uncertainty gets in the way? Imagine the situation as difficult and incomprehensible, then relax. Now that the mind is calm, the problem has disappeared, it no longer seems impossible. The situation was created by your imagination and imaginary panic. Keep things simple, act calmly and measuredly, counting the steps. Only then can you get started and enjoy the process.

Being in the right place at the right time forces you to act effortlessly. Soon it may seem that everything is going on as usual, but this is far from the case. The method is similar to the work of the lungs: you breathe and do not think that they are working. Attend social events, chat with helpful people, and run new ideas for self-development in your head.

Face your fears and be curious. At a time when a person is afraid, he builds barriers and closes off from others. If you show a little curiosity, the world opens up in all its glory and there is no time for fear, which is closely related to insecurity.

Stop associating fear with previous unfortunate events. People make mistakes and you are no exception. You cannot give up the opportunity to achieve more because of past losses. Shield negative memories from your mind and move forward overcoming insecurity.

Great people suffered defeat for many years before they succeeded. Failure gives you a chance to learn useful knowledge and subsequently not make mistakes. Opportunities appear to find success by strengthening inner strength. It is not for nothing that they say that defeat does not repel, it leads the wanderer with long strides to the long-awaited dream. Try to think of failure as an example of how not to do it in the future.

Don't get in a negative mood and take past mistakes as educational practice. For each failure, ask yourself the question "What useful thing can I learn from the situation that has happened?" Things happen for a reason, you learn from mistakes you make. Nothing terrible happened if loved ones are alive and well, and the rest is the little things of the mischievous fate.

Many will say, “Learn from the mistakes of others!” This advice is not at all helpful. You need to know the world through your own mistakes, becoming wiser every day. The experience gained cannot be compared with the idle chatter of acquaintances and friends. Fear will serve you well, learn and develop!

When a person does not know what he is going to do, he is easily lost in the routine of uncertainty and uncertainty of the future. From here comes the fear of possible negative consequences. Do you have an important meeting where you need to speak to a meeting of people? Start your preparation early and learn to speak. Reread and correct it, say it out loud while standing in front of the mirror. Imagine the office where the meeting will be held, start speaking in your head.

Psychologists have proven the effectiveness of imagination, it quickly helps to cope with uncertainty. Only by imagining the possible complexity will you be able to find not one, but several solutions. If you do not have experience in public speaking, the speech will not be professional, but a simple technique will help get rid of the uncertainty due to the fear of failure. You will come to the meeting prepared, so you will not be lost in unforeseen circumstances.

Failures help to become stronger, a person understands all the pettiness of what happened and ceases to take defeat to heart. Now you can overcome the problems that a year ago seemed like a full-scale disaster. Failure brings life to everyday life, it shows that you fell face down in the dirt, but did not break. The bottom line is constant movement, because inaction suppresses belief in your own success. It also makes a person withdrawn, as a result of which insecurity develops.

Often people share plans with friends when they are in doubt or cannot make up their minds because of insecurity. In response, they want to hear words of support and approval, but it turns out the other way around. This happens because false friends are not able to rid a person of doubts, they are too keen on their own comfort. It's easier to say "Come on, bad idea!", Thereby developing the opponent's uncertainty even more. As a rule, such people are extremely indecisive and have not achieved anything in life, therefore they sow doubts in the heads of others.

Sociologists even argue that such individuals want others to fail, since they are living proof of missed opportunities for them.

Imagine a situation in which you are about to start your own business and seek advice from a friend who is employed. He begins to dissuade, convincing him that this is a waste of time and it is not profitable. Don't get hung up on the words you hear, it's better to reach out to successful people. Take an example from those who have achieved heights and strive for the best.

Are you still in doubt about your own abilities and do not know how to gain confidence? Come to the realization that in case of defeat, you will become wiser, failure does not kill, it makes a person experienced. Deal with fears, they develop insecurity the most. Take up self-knowledge, discover new positive aspects, set a goal and move towards achieving it. Remember past victories and think about them constantly, learn from the mistakes you made. Believe in your own success, develop, it's time to act!

Video: How to Build Reinforced Concrete Confidence in 7 Days

Before we dive headlong into building true self-confidence, let's take a step back and try to understand what confidence is.

Confidence is knowing that what you own will later become what you want and make you happier. This is a necessary condition for an idea to become an action.

Confidence is the ability to believe in yourself when there is a big deal, to raise your hand when an interesting project comes up, or to speak at a conference (and without any excitement!). Confidence is not a 100% guarantee that everything will always work out, but it helps you get out of your comfort zone, push boundaries and set a course for success.

Statistics confirm that success has more to do with confidence than competence. So, here are five steps to self-confidence.

1. Show confidence

As strange as it may sound, in order to learn how to be truly confident in yourself, you can first imitate confidence. In the wild, some animals pretend to be brave in the face of danger. Pretend you too.

Self-hypnosis doesn't work. Our brain analyzes and compares our expectations with our experience and real life situation. If these two aspects don't match, the brain gets out of control and you start to experience stress. Anxiety and negative thoughts appear, which make all self-confidence disappear. So how can we be?

Prepare better for an exciting situation, rehearse in front of a mirror (pay attention to both tone of voice and facial expressions) and look at others positively, enjoy communicating with them. This will give the brain "good reason" to believe that our positive attitude corresponds to a favorable external situation, and confidence will appear on its own.

2. Do not forget that you expect more from yourself than others from you.

The good news is that the whole world will believe what you are demonstrating. Thank goodness no one can read your mind, know about fear and anxiety.

The bad news: you can misinterpret any sidelong glance, any random word, any reaction of people to your actions, and then worry about this (invented by you) occasion.

In this case, psychologists recommend listening to your inner voice (do not be alarmed ahead of time, no one is going to persuade you to engage in self-hypnosis). Do a little experiment: For one week, write down what thoughts (exact wording) are spinning in your head when you feel a lack of self-confidence.

By simply writing down and analyzing your internal dialogue, you will be one step closer to reducing the number and hopefully eliminating such thoughts altogether.

In addition, it is helpful to write down and keep on hand a list of your achievements, experiences gained, events that made you feel meaningful, confident, and understand that your actions are beneficial.

Every time your inner voice gets out of hand, take a three-minute break, pick up a list, and remind yourself how good you can be. Show your brain material evidence when you need extra confidence.

3. Monitor your physical condition

I understand it's a cliché to say that you need to take care of your health, but this cliché did not appear out of nowhere. Have you ever wondered why all successful leaders, without exception, regularly play sports? If you overwork, eat fast food, sleep little, and lead a predominantly sedentary lifestyle, it becomes more difficult to show the world your best version of yourself.

You don't need to train until you drop for several hours a day: a 30-minute walk from work to home or climbing stairs to the 10th floor can be enough to generate endorphins. Start with small changes in your usual lifestyle, gradually get used to them.

Difficulties and, accordingly, stress need to be added to your life in very small portions. It is necessary to wrap yourself around the finger so that both physical and mental health are in balance.

4. Increase Impact, Change Your Internal Dialogue

Do you know why most people's communication skills leave a lot to be desired? Because they are in their own thoughts. Instead of focusing on their interlocutor and showing their location, they think how not to blurt out nonsense and what would be so clever to say next. The main reason for this behavior: they did not prepare well.

It is almost impossible to be truly confident if you are not prepared enough to show your best side. Think about the people you are talking to. What do they really want? What's stopping them? How can you help them?

If you focus on helping the person you are talking to, you will get rid of your anxiety and get the same genuine interest in the answer.

It is worth using this method to promote your services or if you want to impress at any event.

Take the time to study the materials on the topic and your audience. Every hour spent doing this will bring a disproportionate result. And what happens when you get a positive response? You guessed it - you will gain lasting, genuine self-confidence.

5. Make mistakes quickly, make mistakes often

A terrifying word that paralyzes even great people and prevents them from succeeding is failure. It especially haunts those who are perfectionist by nature and are chronically afraid of doing something wrong.

But failures in our lives happen, it is simply inevitable. In fact, if you are not mistaken, then do not learn anything new. Remember the statement of Ramit Sethi more often: "This is not a failure - this is a trial."

You are just checking that it doesn't work. And when you know this, you can move on and find ways that will lead to the desired result.

And most importantly, once you come to your senses after another "failure", you realize that you do not feel empty. After all, it is this experience that helps you face your fears and achieve your goals in the future.

Yes, this is an excellent quality that allows you to assess yourself positively but realistically in any situation. As a rule, it is not given to a person from birth, but is brought up in himself by scrupulous work. However, it is worth noting that self-confidence does not miraculously emerge overnight. One desire is not enough for this, you have to work hard. Your goal is to understand that you are worthy of respect and love.

How to build self-confidence in 12 steps

How to build self-confidence quickly

Psychologists recommend doing sports or enrolling in a dance studio for this. The fact is that sport promotes the synthesis of happiness hormones - endorphins, develops coordination of movements, gracefulness, and has a positive effect on the figure. Together, this contributes to an increase in self-esteem.

How to build self-confidence with psychological training

Now there are a lot of trainings for all occasions. We are interested in personal growth trainings or even a banal pickup truck - they teach you to effectively interact with others, accept yourself as you are, and look at the world positively.

How to build confidence by playing

Role-playing are popular now and are also an excellent simulator for such purposes. Ideal, perhaps, would be a spontaneous theater: it teaches you to show your emotions, express yourself, behave in various, sometimes completely unpredictable life situations. Even the famous game "Mafia" teaches how to gain self-confidence, because within its framework a person tries on new roles and learns to be natural.

How to build self-confidence: shock therapy

If you are - create enough stressful situations for yourself, forcing you to constantly be in the spotlight, to interact with strangers. This situation will soon become familiar to you.

Self-confidence is not a collection of some skills, but a state of mind that is in each of us - you just need to discover it in yourself.

Before you start talking about how to gain self-confidence I think it's worth understanding what the lack of this quality leads to. As you can imagine, an insecure person is not a fatal diagnosis. Many people live with this, but uncertainty completely deprives a person of any chances to succeed in any business that is meaningful to him.

Why do you need self-confidence?

At first, lack of self-confidence makes a person initially set very low goals for himself. “I am not worthy”, “I cannot do this”, “I have no abilities” - these are the words that force you to initially give up something really desired in favor of some mediocre things.

It seems like I want to buy a house, but my goal is to buy a goat, because I can buy it. And since there are no big goals, there are no corresponding actions.

Secondly, the absence of this quality does not give a person. He is constantly in doubt, thinking, looking for advice on the side. Sometimes, for an insecure person, the opinion of outsiders has more weight, even if this outsider is completely incompetent in the matter. And, even after the decision has been made, battles continue in the head from the series “Did I do the right thing?”, Which entails constant throwing and inconsistency in actions.

In short, all this takes up a lot of energy and time, while it would be better to spend precious hours and energy moving towards your goals.

Thirdly, uncertainty significantly reduces the effectiveness of actions. You know that in most cases, in a particular area (especially financial), it is determined not by the level of his intellect, not by knowledge and not by his abilities, but by the level of his emotional competence and energy.

Without self-confidence, it is impossible to sell your labor at an interview at a high price, it is unrealistic to conclude a lucrative contract in business, it is impossible to raise morale to other people, etc.

So, insecure people set very low goals, rarely have their own opinion, constantly change their decisions and are not able to influence others.

“They can do everything, because they are sure that they can do everything” - Virgil

Most often, a person's confidence in their abilities depends little on the circumstances acting at a given moment. An insecure person will always doubt. While a person with normal self-esteem will, without a shadow of a doubt, move forward even where the chances of success are negligible.

In order for the feeling of confidence never to leave you, you must always work on yourself, in every most insignificant life situation. Here are some guidelines to help anyone build confidence.

1. Set goals that depend on you personally. Often, a person's lack of confidence in their abilities appears as a result of past life experience. With every failure, every time we fail, information is written into our memory that we cannot. Even if we could not directly influence the result, information about the failure is still recorded. Accordingly, we need to make sure that the goals achieved become more and more.

And by setting goals that depend only on a person, he automatically increases the chances of achieving them. Most often, these are action-based goals, for example, instead of the goal "To lose 10 kg of excess weight in a month", set the goal "Do 15 minutes every day for a month." In the first case, you can influence the result only indirectly; in the second, everything depends only on you.

2. Bring your appearance to the state of "5+". This means that people who look good are significantly more confident than those who are constantly shy about their appearance. Here it is worth working on both your body and your wardrobe. This process may be difficult, since changing habits is always difficult, but it all depends on you. If you really want to become a more confident person, then you will.

3. Compose your own autobiography based on your achievements and successes. Bring into it everything that you were proud of from childhood to the present day. How did you learn to read or write or ride a bike? Even in the process of compiling such a biography, you will understand that there have always been difficult tasks in your life, and you have always solved them, why now you doubt your abilities.

After the biography is ready, add your new achievements to it. In those moments when it will be difficult for you, just re-read what is written. Over time, you won't even need to read anything, as your entire hall of fame will be inside your head.

4. Once every few months, write your own new resume. Even if you don't change jobs or don't work at all, it will be a rewarding experience. Each time, add to the new version those qualities and skills that you have acquired and developed recently. You can kill two birds with one stone - you will have a list of your strengths, and you can see your own growth.

5. Start planning your day, week, month. Try to describe everything that needs to be done in as much detail as possible, indicating the time. The tighter your schedule, the less time you will have to think about whether you will succeed or not.

You will be surprised at how quickly your authority rises in your own eyes. This will happen immediately after you start making plans and sticking to them. Read what to include in your daily routine.

6. Be visible more often. This applies to all kinds of gatherings, meetings and other places where a lot of people gather. If you look closely, you will notice that the most successful people are always visible, they rarely hide in the corners and in the back rows, they try to take the most prominent positions. It will be uncomfortable at first, but over time, you will start to feel much better and realize that you can and deserve to be among the best.

In conclusion, remember. It is impossible to gain confidence in yourself by thinking and experiencing, this quality is brought up only by actions that cause you to feel proud of who you are.

And finally, go back to the video at the beginning of the article and watch it again, this will help to consolidate everything we discussed - enjoy it.

Oh yes - do not forget to write a comment on the article and leave your opinion on how to gain self-confidence.