How to talk to whom to read. Abstract book: Larry King - how to talk with anyone, when you please, anywhere. Take care of your appearance

Knowledge, high IQ, professionalism is not enough to succeed. You need to be able to convey your ideas to others and not be afraid of complex conversations. In the "skill of communication", the main emphasis - on the mistakes that we admit to communicate with other people. In the book a lot of interesting stories on the topic and the same food for reflection.

The author of the book is a famous American social psychologist, the organizer of the famous. In his books, instead of abstract reasoning, you will find only scientific approach and statistics. "How to overcome shyness" - no exception. Zimbardo considers shyness as an individual way of responding to emotions. And so that you can overcome your complexes, offers a set of specific tips and exercises.

3. "How to talk with anyone", Mark Roadz

Voltage when talking - the phenomenon is quite natural. The main thing is to be able to overcome it. Just about this and writes Roadz: how to cope with fears and barriers, to start a conversation, to gain confidence and get rid of the unreasonable fear that you will be rejected and drive. Universal book about the problems of modern communication.

5. "How to talk with assholes", Mark Gowstone

Yes, we all come from time to time to communicate not only with pleasant and friendly people, but also with completely unbearable. And let you not confuse the name of the book: it will be about the category of people with an irrational and dishonest communication style. Constructive dialogue with them will not build.

Mark Gowleston, a psychiatrist in the field of business, offers a whole set of technician: 14 ways to communicate with psychos, 8 ways to cope with madness in personal life and, of course, recommendations on working ourselves (after all, sometimes come out of themselves and we can seem not quite adequate ).

The conversation is not so much the ability to beautifully state your thoughts as the ability to listen and understand the interlocutor. Believe me, people like it when they are listening. It helps them feel more comfortable and more confident. Chief Secret Communication is very simple: when you listen to another person, he will be ready to listen to you.

In this book, you will not find NLP or advice on manipulation by people. The conviction is the ability to influence the person, contacting him directly and help him to comprehend the situation. Only argumentation and honesty, no tricks. James Borg advice apply both at work, and in.

Another book of James Borg, which is better to read in a bundle with the previous one. Communication, belief and influence - things are interrelated and interdependent. The magic of the words about which Borg writes is, of course, the metaphor. But there is in it and the proportion of truth: the words we use determine our success in relations, work, business. It's time to learn to pick up the right words.

Neurobiologist Wendy Suzuki once realized that he was completely dissatisfied with her life: she only paid all the time scientific work. But it is precisely the knowledge of neurobiology helped her to establish communication with people, improve physical shape And change the image of thoughts.

It is based on its technique - four-minute workouts for the brain that help recover the forces, improve the mood and make thinking more intense. The body and brain are connected, and if you learn to manage this connection, then literally transform - both externally and internally.

Probably, no such a selection of books do without the old good carnegie. One of the first books on self-help and effective communication. Classic, proven over the years.

Lifechaker can receive a commission from buying goods presented in publication.

Current Page: 1 (In total, the book is 13 pages) [Available excerpt for reading: 8 pages]

Larry King

How to talk with anyone, when you want and anywhere

our team

No book is published thanks to the efforts of the authors alone. We interviewed and wrote the text, but the contribution of other members of our team was no less significant. For this, we express our gratitude to them, especially:

Peter Ginnes, our editor in the New York Publishing House Crown Publishers;

Judy Thomas, Larry Assistant and CNN Copod-show CNN "Larry King Live";

Maggie Simpson, Director of the Public Relations of the Larry King Live Ether Program;

Pat Piper, for many years that was the producer of "show Larry King" on the Mutual Broadcasting System radio station;

Stacy Wulf, Agent Larry, thanks to which, in fact, this book could appear;

Russell Gailen, literary agent, for many years to produce books to Bill Gilbert.

Introduction
We need to talk to all

What would you prefer to jump out of the plane without a parachute or be at the table on a dinner dinner next to an unfamiliar person?

If you chose the first answer, do not despair. You are so far from one. We have to talk every day, however, there are a lot of situations where it turns out to be very difficult, as well as circumstances in which we could act and better. The road to success is in everyday life or in professional activity - paved by conversations, and if you lack confidence in communication, this road can be a bumpy.

To make this road evenly, I wrote my book. For these thirty-eight years as a conversation, conversation, communication - my ugly bread, during the radio - and TV shows I had to talk with the most different people - from Mikhail Gorbachev to Michael Jordan. 1
An outstanding professional basketball player in the NBA. - Here and further approx. Translate

In addition, I regularly perform in front of a rather diverse audience - from sheriffs to merchants. Then I will tell you about how, in my opinion, it is necessary to talk - whether it is with one person or a hundred.

For me to talk - the main joy in life, my favorite occupation. Here is one of my earliest memories of my Brooklyn childhood: I stand at the corner of the eighty-sixth street and Bay Parkavey and loudly declare the brands passing by cars. I was then seven years old. Friends nickname me with a mouthpiece, since then I will not stop talking.

My best friend of those years, cozer cohen (he still remains mine best friend), I remember how I was sick for dodgers 2
BROOKLYN DODGERS Baseball Team.

at Ebbets Field Stadium. I sat down in cheap places on the sidelines from everyone, took the program and started to "comment" game. Then I came home and told my friends about the past match in all details - I'm not joking: just like this, in all details. The coat of arms and now loves to remember: "If the match on Ebbets-Field, who saw Larry, lasted two hours and ten minutes, and the story of Larry didn't go about this match." I remember, I first met the director of the school for the first time in the office - both were ten years ten years. When I went to the office, Gerbi was already there. Now we can not remember, for which we were sent there, but both tend to the opinion that most likely for talking in the lessons.

And yet, with all my love, talk perfectly well, why, during a conversation, some people feel awkward. They are afraid not to say what you need, or not as needed. One writer noted: "It is better to silence and be suspected in stupidity than to open your mouth and immediately dispel all doubts about this." When you say with an unfamiliar person or perform before a large audience, such fears increase repeatedly.

I hope my book will help you get rid of these fears. I was convinced of one: having the right approach, you can talk to any person. After reading this book, you can confidently join any conversation and learn how in a business conversation effectively convey your thought to others. You will be better to talk, and with great pleasure.

In the book that you have to read, there is extensive information on this issue, accompanied by advice on how to talk in a wide variety of situations - from the wedding of your cousin to a large school lunch or speaking at the meeting of the Association of Parents and teachers. I will tell you about the experience of those I interviewed on the air, and about my experience, which, as you see, was acquired by me in very difficult conditions.

Speech is the most important form of communication, it is a question that distinguishes people from animals. It is estimated that a person says about eighteen thousand words about eighteen thousand words, and I do not doubt anything at all that this figure is true (in my case it is likely to increase). So why don't we try to develop our ability to talk and not squeeze the maximum possible of them? Let's start right now. Turn the page - and forward.

Hey, Gerbi, listen to me!

Larry King

1
Conversation

Basics of success in conversation

Honesty

The right approach

Interest in the interlocutor

Frankness

Say - it's like playing golf, drive a car or keep the store: the more you do, the better it comes out and the greater gives pleasure. But first it is necessary to learn the basic principles.

In art, it was lucky to achieve some success. Perhaps, so you read this book, think about yourself: "Well, of course, he may argue that it is a pleasure. He comes out well. "

Of course, the tendency to conversations was laid in me from nature, but even those who have natural abilities, have to work to develop them. That is how talent turns into skill. Ted Williams, the greatest baseball player from those who had happened to see in his century, a man gifted by nature more than any of my contemporaries, trained on a par with ordinary players. Nature endowed Luciano Pavarotti with an amazing voice, and yet he took the lessons of vocal.

The tendency to conversations in my blood, but I had many cases when the conversation was not glued.

My inglorious debut

If thirty-seven years ago, you were next to me in the radio studio and attended with my first broadcast on the air, you would surely be ready to argue for anything that Niza would not be able to resist me, but even more so succeed in the conversational genre.

This happened in Miami Beach in the morning on May 1, 1957 on a small WAHR radio station, opposite the police station on the first street near Washington Street. During the previous three weeks I was hanged by the room, hoping to fulfill my dream - to break through the ether. CEO Marshall Simmonds told me that he likes my voice (another circumstance that did not depend on me), but now, they say there are no vacancies. It did not discourage me. I was ready to wait as much as you need, what did the director said. He answered it, they say, well, if I will be at hand all the time, he will take me to the first job of the open vacancy.

I just arrived in Miami Beach from Brooklyn and knew: until my great chance turned up with me, I can stay in the apartment from Uncle Jack and his wife, from where you could walk on the radio station. There was no cue in my pocket, and in general I didn't have anything, except that the roof above my head, but I went to the radio from day to day and watched how the speakers work on the latter news As a sports commentator introduces listeners with the news of sports life.

Having hoped his breath, I first watched with my own eyes with my own eyes how the AR and UPI agencies arrive in the teletymp. 3
UPI (United Press International - Private News Agency, second in the country after AR (Associated Press). Larry King a little mistaken, Upi then did not exist, it was formed only in 1956 by merging the UP service (United Press) and Ins (International News Service).

I myself wrote a few short notes in the hope that they would suit someone from the commentators. Three weeks have passed, and suddenly the leading morning program quit. On Friday, Marshall caused me to his office and said that from Monday he takes me this job with a salary of fifty-five dollars a week. I will go on ether on weekdays from nine to twelve. In the afternoon I will read the releases of the latest news and sports news, and my working day will end in five hours.

My dream has come true! I had to work on the radio and lead in the morning a three-hour gear; Plus, I will go on the air six times in the afternoon. This means that my general airtime will be the same as Arthur Godfrey, a super serum of the famous nationwide commercial television and radio company CBS!

All weekend I did not close the eye, again and rehearsing the text for the ether. By half the nine in the morning of his first working day, I was completely exhausted. To get rid of dryness in the mouth and throat, I swallowed that coffee, then water. I brought with myself a record with my musical screensaver - a song "Rotaway along the track", going to put it on the player as soon as I begin to drive. Time went, and with every minute I was nervous more and more.

Here Marshall Simmonds called me to the office to wish good luck. I thanked him, and he asked:

- By what name, will you perform?

- What are you speaking about? - I was surprised.

- Well, you can't you be Larry Zeiger. Listeners such a name will not remember, they will not understand how it is written. You need a name bigh and easier. Larry Zayeger - will not go.

On the table he was lying the Miami Herald newspaper, open on advertising in the entire strip: "King - wholesale of alcohol drinks." Marshall glanced at her and asked a rather indifferent voice:

- How about Larry King?

- I do not mind.

- That's great. Now your name is Larry King. You will drive the show "Show Larry King".

So I had new job, new gear, new musical screensaver and even a new name. News release began to nine. I was sitting in the studio with my record at the ready, intending to introduce feasured humanity with the new program - "show Larry King". But it seemed to me that my mouth would be watered.

On small radio stations, the presenter does everything itself, so I turned on the screensaver. The music sounded, then I muffled her to start talking, but I could not publish a sound.

Then I make music back and quieter again. And again, I cannot squeeze out a word. The same is repeated for the third time. The only thing heard in the radio is the music that sounds louder, then quieter, and not a single word!

I still remember how I told myself: "Yes, dear, you, of course, are much, but you are not ready to do this professionally. Of course, such work would like to do you, but I have the courage to admit - you are still not Doros before. "

In the end, Marshall Simmonds, who was so kind and provided such a magnificent chance, could not stand and exploded as soon as the director of radio stations can explode. He pinched open the studio door and said three words loud:

- It is necessary to talk here!

Then he turned around and came out that there is a strength to slam the door.

At the same moment I moved to the microphone and said:

- Good morning. Today I was on the ether for the first time. I dreamed of all my life. I rehearsed the whole weekend. Fifteen minutes ago I gave me a new name. I prepared a musical screensaver. But in my mouth I dry. I'm nervous. And the director of the station has just kicked the door to the foot and said: "It is necessary to talk here."

Sumy finally, at least something to say, I gained confidence - then the transfer went like oil. That was the beginning of my career in a conversational genre. After that a significant day, speaking on the radio, I never nervous.

Honesty

In the morning in Miami Beach, I realized something regarding the art of talking, be it on the air or not. Be honest. This principle will never let you down in radio journalistic, nor in any other sphere of communication. Arthur Godfrey told the same thing: if you want to have success on the air, share with your listeners or spectators what you happen to you and that you feel at this moment.

Something similar happened to me when I debuted as a leading television talk show also in Miami - since my first speech on the radio was the only time I was nervous on the air.

Before that, I never spoke on television, and it bothered me. Producer put me in a tagged chair. A serious mistake: from excitement, I spit out all the time, and it was seen all the TV viewers.

A little more - and I would seek funny, but I was reversed instinct. I suggested to the viewers to enter my position. I informed them what worried. I said that I have been working on the radio for three years, but I speaking on television for the first time. And here I was put on this unfortunate chair.

Now, when everyone learned, in what a position I was, I stopped nervous. My speech has become much better, and my first evening on television passed quite successfully, and all because I was honest with people with whom he spoke.

Recently I was asked: "Suppose you go along the NBC News Studio Corridor. Someone grabs you for the sleeve, drags, puts in the studio in the chair, busts into your hands some papers, says: "Brocau sick. You are on the air "- and in the studio lights light. How do you do? "

I replied that I would be absolutely honest. I'll look into the lens of the camera and I will say: "I walked along the NBC corridor, when someone grabbed my sleeve, dragged here, gave me these papers and said:" Brocau sick. You are on the air. "

It is necessary for me to do this, and all the audience will understand that I have never led information programs, I have no idea what happens next, I read unfamiliar text and I do not know what camera to look at, - now the audience can put themselves to my place. We are released from the current situation together. They know that I was honest with them and will try to work for them as best.

I successfully explained not only what I do, but in what binding it; Now my position is much more profitable than if I tried to hide everything. And on the contrary, if I'm on the seventh heaven from happiness, if everything is great and I'm able to convey it to the audience, and I can also assume that I won it - I made everyone involved in what I worry himself.

The remaining components of the formula of success

The right approach is to set to speak even in the case when at first you feel awkward. This is another important detail in art to speak. After a memorable fiasco on the radio in Miami, I was formed precisely such an installation. Having coped with the mandrage overlooked me, I gave myself two promises:

2. To develop your abilities to talk, I will work without tired.

What did I do to fulfill these promises? A lot of things. I led the morning show, replaced the evening sports commentator, speaking on the air with business news and the last news, uttered speeches. If someone sick or bought outgun, I agreed to work overtime. In short, I grabbed for any opportunity to speak on the air as much as possible. My goal was to broadcast as much as possible and achieve success. I told myself what I do in the same way as Baseball player Ted Williams: when he felt that it was necessary, he trained additionally.

To speak well, you can also train. In addition to studying books - and now video cassettes that teach talk, it can be done a lot on your own. Talk out loud with themselves, taking off at home or apartment. I do this exactly - the truth, I have enough sleep, not too often. I live alone, so sometimes I can pronounce a few words or any blank to the upcoming speech or one of my gears. I no need to confuse me: no one no one is, and no one hears me. You can follow my example, even if you live alone. To do this, retire in your room, in the basement or exercise while you are driving. Also, watch out how you say is also training.

And you can still get up in front of the mirror and speak with your reflection. This technique is well known, especially among people who are preparing for public speeches. However, it is also suitable for everyday communication. In addition, it helps to establish visual contact with the interlocutor, because looking at his reflection in the mirror, you are insecious to look in the face of the interlocutor.

Do not send for me Sanitars with a strait shirt, when hear from me another recommendation: Talk with your dog, cat, a bird or a goldfish. Chatting with pets, you can learn to communicate with people - and at the same time you do not need to worry that you will be answered by the nefple or turn.

To become a good interlocutor, in addition to readiness to work on yourself, you need even at least two things: sincere interest in the personality of the interlocutor and openness.

I think, those who look at my evening talk show on CNN, it is obvious that the guests of my studio are deeply interested in me. I try to watch them straight in the eye. (The inability to achieve this brings many, but we will talk about it later.) Then I confidentially leaning forward and ask them questions about themselves.

I respect all the participants of my programs - from the presidents and sports stars to the judgmental frog of Kermit and the flirttiable pigs Miss Piggy from the "Mappa show", 4
Television variety with permanent doll heroes. Among the guests of the transfer were many prominent artists, leading actors of the theater, movie, pop. Transfer translated into many languages \u200b\u200band successfully walked in 100 countries of the world.

and I happened to take interviews and they. It is impossible to achieve success in conversation, if the interlocutor seems to be that his story does not interest you or you do not respect him.

I never forget the words Will Rogers: 5
Probably, the author means William Pierce Rogers, in 1957-1961 who was the Minister of Justice, and in 1969-1973 - the US Secretary of State in the administration of R. Nixon.

"We are all ignorant, only in different areas." It should be remembered and when you talk with someone on the way to work, and when you take an interview to the Tith-Million Teleadia. Praphrasing this aphorism, you can unambiguously conclude that each of us considers yourself to be something expert. Anyone has at least one topic that he likes to talk about.

It must be referred to someone else's knowledge with reverence. Listeners are always guessing what you think about them. Feeling your respect for yourself, they will listen to you more carefully. Otherwise, whatever you say, they will miss it by ears.

The last component of my formula of success is the frankness in a conversation with people - an example is the original recognition, which helped me overcome the fear during my first speech on the radio. The golden rule is to do with others as you want, so that they come with you, it applies to the conversation. If you want the interlocutor to be honest and frank with you, you must be honest and frank with him.

This does not mean that you must constantly talk about yourself or share personal secrets - just the opposite. Would you like to hear about the stones in the liver from the neighbor or about the trip to the mother-in-law on the weekend from the colleague? Most likely, no, and therefore, you should not touch such topics in conversation.

Reggie Filbin and Katie Lee Gihford - good examples of leading talk shows, which are frank in a conversation with their guests. They enter your room easily and naturally and at the same time do not hide their tastes or tell some case from your life. Without making themselves the center of the transfer, they remain themselves. They are not trying to play. If the plot of the transfer or the story of their guest sets up on the sentimental way, they will not be ashamed to show their feelings. Obviously, Reggio and Katie Lee understand: there is nothing wrong to be sentimental, if it requires a moment, or show your fear, sadness or any other feeling that causes the plot or guest story. People in the studio and those who are sitting at home from televisions see it and react positively to openness and obvious sincerity of the leading. Everyone, with whom I have ever spoke longer than a few minutes, knows about me at least two facts: 1) I am from Brooklyn and 2) I'm a Jew.

How do they recognize it? I just talk about my origin to everyone who comes into contact. This is part of my personality, my roots. I am proud that I am a Jew, and what was born in Brooklyn. Therefore, in many conversations I remember my roots. I like to talk about it to people!

Be I Zaitan, I would tell the interlocutors and about it: "I'm glad to meet. Mmm name is Larry King. I, P-P-Pravda, a little zr-z-stutter, but I will still be glad to chat with you. "

So you immediately reveal your cards, you do not need to be afraid of the conversation - you have already opened the interlocutor, and your frankness makes pretending unnecessary. The conversation takes a relaxed character, and both of them get much more pleasure from it. It will not cure you from stuttering, but will help become the best interlocutor and conquer respect for whom you are talking. It is this line of behavior who adheres to the artist in the style of Country Mel Tillis. It was achieved on the stage and simply charming during an interview in the studio - and all this despite the fact that he stutters. During singing, this does not appear, only during the conversation. Instead of comprehensive, chalk immediately lay out all the finiteness, joking on this issue and, remaining himself, behaves so relaxed that his ease is transmitted to you.

Once on my TV show in Florida, I interviewed a person who had a congenital defect of the nose, and therefore it was somewhat difficult to understand his speech. Nevertheless, he was very happy to speak on my show and tell about himself. Some would consider it a defect with irreparable injury, but with all that, this man became a multimillioner. What do you think, how did he manage such a state? He began his career from the post of seller. However, communicating with everyone with whom he had to talk, he did not pretend and did not try to hide the obvious - his, so to speak, "a strange reprimand." He succeeded because he managed to adapt to his position and helped to enter it to others.

1. Speak "and" instead of "but".
For example: "You did it well, and if you ..."
Instead: "Yes, that's good, but you should ..."

Because "but" crosses everything that has been said before him.

2. Speak "and" instead of "and yet."
For example: "I understand that you can not give a response so fast, and therefore let's ..."
Instead: "I understand that you can't answer right now, but still it would be better ..."

Because "And yet" says the interlocutor that you are deeply indifferent to his wishes, expectations, doubts or questions.

3. Use the word "for" instead of the word "against".
For example: "In order for something changed, I will write to the sports section."
Instead: "What would I still come up against boredom?".

4. Avoid the coarse "no" because "no", uttered with the appropriate intonation, can make a very negative impression on the partner.

5. Explore the expression "Honestly" from his lexicon, because it sounds like honesty for you - an exception.

6. Speak "not so" instead of "no".
For example: "not so" or "not now." "I don't like it in this form." "At the moment I do not have time."
Instead: "No, I don't like it" "No, I have no time."

Because "no" repels. "No" is something complete and finally solved.

7. Change the angle of view using the word "already" instead of the word "still."
For example: "You have already taken half."
Instead: "Did you just do half?"

Because the word "already" turns little in a lot.

8. Forget the words "only" and "simply" or replace them with others.
For example: "This is my opinion", "this is my idea."
Instead: "I just talk my opinion," "This is just such an idea."

Straighten up "just" and "only."

9. Remove the word "wrong". It is better to ask the clarifying question and show the interlocutor that you also try to solve the problem.
For example: "It turned out not as needed. Let's think about how to fix a mistake or avoid it in the future. "
Instead: "Wrong! This is only your wine. "

10. Speak "B" and "in so much" instead of "somewhere" and "in the area". Exact time and time.
For example: "I'll call on Friday," "I will call you tomorrow at 11 o'clock."
Instead: "I will call at the end of the week" "I will call tomorrow near the 11th."

11. Specify open questions. Do not be content with single responses "Yes" or "No".
For example: "How did you like it?", "When can I call you back?"
Instead: "Did you like it?", "You can call you back."

Because questions with "How", "What" or "Who" ...... mined valuable information.

12. Use the expression "From now on I ..." instead of "if I ...".
For example: "From now on, I will be attentive to listen to the advice."
Instead: "If I listened to his advice. Then it would not happen. "

Because "if I ..." regrets that it has passed, and rarely helps to advance further. Better look in the future. The wording "From now on I ..." is a good basis for such a position.

13. Stop it with the help of "it would be necessary" and "you need."
Better: "It is important to make this work first."
Instead: "We must think about it" "I would first finish this work."

"It would be necessary" and "I would need" anything concrete. It is better to clearly and clearly name that (or that), about whom or what you say ("I" - "You" - "You" - "We").
For example: "You should finish it", "You should give the priority of this work."

14. Speak "I will do" or "I would like" instead of "I have to".
For example: "I would like to think first", "I first come to the right information."
Instead: "I must first think about a little", "I must collect information"

"I have to" is associated with coercion, pressure or external definition. All you do with such an installation, you do not voluntarily. "I will do" or "I would like" sounds for others much more positive, more friendly and motivated.

15. Eject words "actually" and "actually" from their dictionary.
For example: "That's right"
Instead: "Well, in general it is right."

"Generally" does not contain any information and is perceived as a restriction.

With the words "must" and "follow" you expose the interlocutor of pressure and select the opportunity to decide on my own. "I recommend you" sounds much more friendly and positive.

17. Use also alternatives to "I advise you", such as "I ask you" and "I will be grateful to you."
For example: "I ask you to make a decision as soon as possible", "I am grateful to you if you trust me."
Instead: "You must make a decision as soon as possible", "You have to trust me."

"I ask you" and "I am grateful to you" is very easy to say, and they commit a miracle.

18. Refuse all forms of denial; Better express positively.
For example: "It will be in order", "this is really a good idea", "it's easy for me."
Instead: "This is not a problem for me," the idea is really good, "" It will be not difficult for me. "

Talking with denials, you go long. It is too difficult and can cause unpleasant associations. Speak directly and positively.

19. Avoid other typical forms with "not".
For example: "Please understand me correctly" "Please think about ...!" "Please watch ....!"
Instead: "Please do not get me wrong," please do not forget that ....! "," Let's not lose it out of sight! "

Such negative expressions turn into positive. Clearly say what you want. Focus all the attention on the desired goal.

20. Use "motivating denials."
For example: "What you said, not quite right," "I don't quite agree with you."
Instead: "What you said is wrong", "here I have to argue."

Motivating denial makes sense in situations when you need to inform another person something unpleasant or completely rejected his assumption. It is important that you presented your opinion and told the truth. With the help of a motivating denial, you can say it more politely. You focus on the target target.

21. Prefer accurate concepts instead of non-specific verbs "do", "work" and "do".
For example: "We have not yet made decisions on ....", "I just read the protocol", "This statement is such that ..."
Instead: "We can not figure out here yet," "I'm working with the protocol now," we do everything we can. "

No specific verbs leave too much freedom for interpretation.

22. Ask questions from "when" and "how" instead of such for which you can only answer "yes" or "no".
For example: "When you can help me ....?", "When can we gather?"
"When can I talk to you?"

In response to the question from "Lee" we get the reaction only in the form of "yes" or "no". When you can count on the result - it remains open. Therefore, do not ask if it may be "if" something or something, and demonstrate your positive wait with the help of "when" and "how."

23. Connect the other with the help of "You" and "We", instead of constantly putting yourself in the center of attention with the help of "I".
For example: "You see now, what's the matter," please give me your address, "" Now we will deal together. "
Instead: "I'll show you now, what's the matter," I still need your address, "" I'll explain it now. "

If you are talking from the first person all the time, then you put forward yourself and your actions. The use of "you" and "we" combines and concentrates attention on the interlocutor too.

24. Each from your dictionary "Never", "each", "all", "always" and instead be specific.
For example: "Here you will definitely help me!", "You're late for a week", "... and ... Enlighten my success. "
Instead: "Nobody helps me", "you are late all the time," they all envy my success. "

Remove the generalizations. Think, "What" it happened exactly, "whom" concerns, "when" it happened. Clearly designate your goals. Generalizations create a negative present and limit opportunities in the future.

25. Find the response of the interlocutor with the help of semi-open issues.
For example: "How much did you like it?", "What other questions are there on your part on the merits of the said?
Instead: "How did you like it?", "How do you like my idea?", "What are you still questions?"

Properly chosen word gives your question the right direction. You have a positive effect on the reaction. The information you are interested in are already sent in advance to the positive channel.

OUR TEAM

No book is published thanks to the efforts of the authors alone. We interviewed and wrote the text, but the contribution of other members of our team was no less significant. For this, we express our gratitude to them, especially:

Peter Ginnes, our editor in the New York Publishing House Crown Publishers;

Judy Thomas, Larry Assistant and CNN Copod-show CNN "Larry King Live";

Maggie Simpson, Director of the Public Relations of the Larry King Live Ether Program;

Pat Piper, for many years that was the producer of "show Larry King" on the Mutual Broadcasting System radio station;

Stacy Wulf, Agent Larry, thanks to which, in fact, this book could appear;

Russell Gailen, literary agent, for many years to produce books to Bill Gilbert.

Introduction

We need to talk to all

What would you prefer to jump out of the plane without a parachute or be at the table on a dinner dinner next to an unfamiliar person?

If you chose the first answer, do not despair. You are so far from one. We have to talk every day, however, there are a lot of situations where it turns out to be very difficult, as well as circumstances in which we could act and better. The road to success is in everyday life or in professional activities - paved by conversations, and if you lack confidence in communication, this road may be a bumpy.

To make this road evenly, I wrote my book. For these thirty-eight years as a conversation, conversation, communication - my ugly bread, during the radio - and TV shows I had to talk with the most different people - from Mikhail Gorbachev to Michael Jordan. In addition, I regularly perform in front of a rather diverse audience - from sheriffs to merchants. Then I will tell you about how, in my opinion, it is necessary to talk - whether it is with one person or a hundred.

For me to talk - the main joy in life, my favorite occupation. Here is one of my earliest memories of my Brooklyn childhood: I stand at the corner of the eighty-sixth street and Bay Parkavey and loudly declare the brands passing by cars. I was then seven years old. Friends nickname me with a mouthpiece, since then I will not stop talking.

My best friend of those years, coat of arms of the best friend (he now remains my best friend), I remember, as I hurt for dodgers at Ebbets-Field Stadium. I sat down in cheap places on the sidelines from everyone, took the program and started to "comment" game. Then I came home and told my friends about the past match in all details - I'm not joking: just like this, in all details. The coat of arms and now loves to remember: "If the match for Ebbets-Field, who saw Larr-Ri, lasted two hours ten minutes, and the story lasts Larry about this match." I remember, I first met the director of the school for the first time in the office - both were ten years ten years. When I went to the office, Gerbi was already there. Now we can not remember, for which we were sent there, but both tend to the opinion that most likely for talking in the lessons.

And yet, with all my love, talk perfectly well, why, during a conversation, some people feel awkward. They are afraid not to say what you need, or not as needed. One writer noted: "It is better to silence and be suspected in stupidity than to open your mouth and immediately dispel all doubts about this."

Title: How to talk with anyone, when you please, anywhere
Writer: Larry King
Year: 1994.
Publisher: Alpina Didjital
Genres: self-improvement, personal growth

About the book "How to talk with anyone, when you like, anywhere" Larry King

Take a look at the art of communication at a different angle and this will help you with a well-known book on the whole world "How to talk with anyone, when you want and anywhere" from Larry King. It was written back in 1995, but still did not lose its relevance and significance for people of different ages, social status and different professions.

Larry King in his book writes on the example of his country - America. It leads a lot of real cases from life. Of course, sometimes they are difficult to adapt under our state and mentality of people, but in any case they deserve readers' attention. It is worth reading at least in order to compare, but may even be adopted something for themselves.

To arrange people to them, you need to be open and honest. You will agree, it's nice when a person does not curse and trying to deceased with you to bring something or get to act as it will be beneficial under the pretext of the benefits for you. In order not to fall into awkward or dangerous situations for career, you need to be honest.

The author in the book "How to talk with anyone, when you want and anywhere" says that at certain points it is necessary to "give" the superiority of communication in the hands of your interlocutor. That is, if you are open and simple, it will allow your interlocutor to feel superiority over you, and, therefore, it will be more located on communication with you.

In the book you will find many examples of how to communicate with people in different situations: at work, during conferences and speeches, with colleagues and subordinates, and even with loved ones.

If you just want to tie chat with someone, it is enough to do one simple thing so that a person does not just be located to you, but so that he considers you an interesting interlocutor. You just need to find an interesting topic for him or ask him about something that concerns only his (life, work, hobby). Thus, you will help your interlocutor relax and begin to actively communicate with you. As you can see, everything is extremely simple.

And such examples in the book are very and very much. Also the author takes quotes famous peoplewhich fit perfectly in history. Acquaintance with this book will be easy, useful and interesting thanks to the philosophical reasoning of the writer himself.

The book "How to talk with anyone, when you want and anywhere" Larry King fascinating will seem literally for everyone. And download it in different formats can be on our website.

On our literary site site you can download the book of Larry King "How to talk with anyone, when you want, anywhere" for free in suitable formats for different devices - EPUB, FB2, TXT, RTF. Do you like to read books and always follow the release of new products? We have a large selection of books of various genres: classic, modern fantasy, literature on psychology and children's publications. In addition, we offer interesting and cognitive articles for beginner writers and all those who want to learn to write beautifully. Each of our visitor will be able to find something useful and fascinating for himself.