How to learn to understand people. Simple rules for every day. How easy it is to learn to understand people To better understand

These questions will help you understand what really matters to you, what you have been running from all your life and where your real dreams live.

Ask them yourself, listen to yourself, change your life!

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1. If I could leave only one memory from my whole life, which one?

I love this question! He crystal-clear shows what can be called the most important in our life. People answering this question suddenly realize what the main moments of their life were: time spent with family; moments related to your favorite hobby or travel.

2. If my life was a film, how would I like to continue it?

One day a friend of mine saw this question written on misted glass and it changed his life. After him, he quit his unloved job and decided to devote all the time to his hobby, which has now made him one of the most famous people in the town.

And if your life was a film, how would you like to continue it?

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3. What would I do if I knew exactly what I would do?

The main question to ask yourself. It shows exactly what you would be doing if you did not have fears, excuses and other ridiculous reasons that you want.

4. What is so?

Buddhist monk Tit Nath Khan once said that we too often ask ourselves the question “What's wrong?”, Concentrating on the negative. Our life would be much happier and more sincere if we asked ourselves: "What is so?" The answer to this question allows us to be grateful at least for the fact that we woke up this morning, in contrast to 160 thousand people who did not open their eyes today.

5. What achievements am I proud of?

Make a list of things you can be proud of. You can even add such seemingly insignificant things as, for example, there. When you see your pride on paper, your self-worth will jump up.

6. What, in my opinion, did not my parents give me enough?

Asking yourself this question, you will see what you will strive for all your life. If you think that you were disliked as a child, then your whole life you will run after other people in an attempt to get love from them.

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7. How should my parents never behave with me?

By answering this question, you will see situations from which you will run your whole life. For example, my friend thinks that my mother was too protective of her. And now she even perceives ordinary self-care as overprotective and goes crazy.

8. What are the three main mistakes in my life I do not want to repeat?

They say that the rake is divided into two types: 1) which teach something and 2) my favorites. Think, and what "your favorite rakes" are repeated from year to year?

9. My best decision in the last five years is ...

Five years ago I made the decision to quit beautiful life and working on television in Moscow for the sake of a ghostly dream - to become a writer. I packed my things and left for my hometown of Ufa. Now I have already published two books that have become bestsellers. is to believe the quiet voice of your heart and follow it. And you?

10. In favor of my dream, I am ready to give up ...

If you want to achieve something, then you have to sacrifice something. They say that discipline is the ability to do what you don't really want in order to get what you really want. So what are you willing to sacrifice?

11. What are my free sources of inspiration?

In our material world, it is believed that the higher the price for something, the cooler it is. But the most soulful things are still free: a walk in the fresh air, solitude in the mountains, hugs with loved ones, laughter and smiles, good books (not free, but quite inexpensive).

12. Imagine that there is a self-assessment meter. From what actions does the level of the self-esteem increase?

Strange, but true: very often our self-esteem depends on specific actions. When we do what we love; when we challenge ourselves; when we take care of ourselves, it all raises our level of self-love.

What do you need to do to feel good?

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13. Which people fill me up and which ones empty me?

I must admit that neither good nor bad people can not be. There are those, being near which makes us stronger and fills us. And there are those with whom it destroys us. Who among your entourage belongs to the first category, and who to the second?

14. Who do I envy?

On my project "Selfquest" there is a special assignment where I ask you to write a list of people whom you envy. Envy is an interesting feeling that most often shows a subconscious desire to have the same as the object of envy. Envy must be transformed into a constructive emotion in order to understand what we want.

15. What annoys me about other people?

What we see in other people is ours. What other people see in us is theirs. So the easiest list to find out your weaknesses is to understand.

16. Which of your loved ones would you like to see at your bedside, dying?

One day I was struck by a question from the famous business thinker Yitzhak Adizes, who watched his mother die in a hospital bed. He asked himself: “Who would I like to see at my bedside on my deathbed? Why not get rid of those people whom I do not want to see at my bedside, dying, right now? " Just think about it.

Answer honestly to the question: do I have such moments?

18. What will I regret the most in my old age?

Regrets are ranked around the world every year. Elderly people are asked: "What do you regret the most?" All over the world, these ratings are almost always the same. Most of all, people regret that they have worked all their lives in an unloved job, lived with unloved people, traveled little and did not take care of their health.

What will you regret in old age?

19. Describe your life until today in 6-9 words.

As part of my writing course, Texture, I always ask participants to do a thing related to the story of Ernest Hemingway. He bet that he will write a six-word story that will make people cry. The story was like this: “Children's shoes are on sale. New. " These are the witty and sad things my students wrote: “Have I really found myself? Writing. I'm only 37 "," She believed that she could. Therefore I could ”,“ I'm 33. Sell 2 boards and nails ”.

What does your life look like in 6-9 words until today?

20. What does it mean to be happy for me?

And answer this question yourself, without prompts.

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Following the author, you will visit cocoa plantations and chocolate factories in Mexico, coffee plantations in Colombia, tea ceremonies in China, numerous factories, factories, research laboratories in all corners of the world. You will read about the history of these drinks, as well as the latest research and questions facing scientists. You will find out how much caffeine is in your favorite drinks, how you get it, how much caffeine is optimal for a person, how it affects our body and how it affects our life and ours. health in general.

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A bit of mystery, a bit of romance and a lot of humor - all in the atmosphere of Victorian England at the end of the 19th century!

"I Confess" by Jaume Cabre

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The past, distant and near, exists in the novel parallel to the present. Cabré scatters the details of the mosaic before the reader - human destinies, mysteries, murders from the Middle Ages to the 20th century - which he proposes to assemble into a multidimensional allegory on the nature of evil. 148 characters center around the centerpiece of this mosaic, the priceless Storioni violin, whose history begins four centuries before the Cremona master carved and varnished it in the 18th century. Gliding unhindered through the centuries and at the same time striking with the power and drama of the artistic narration, the novel "I Confess" reaches its unpredictable and startling denouement, which will not leave anyone indifferent.

“Roads to Eden. Complete Stories "Truman Capote

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"Good to Great"

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What good book do you know about psychology? To better understand people? and got the best answer

Answer from Victoria Kasumova [guru]
I consider the best books on personality psychology: "The Art of Being Oneself" and "The Art of Being Different", at one time these books helped me a lot to understand myself, and also taught me to communicate with people, the ability to understand the secrets of the human soul. The author of these books is In Levi.
Source: Victoria

Answer from 2 answers[guru]

Hey! Here is a selection of topics with answers to your question: What good book on psychology do you know? To better understand people?

Answer from Vladimr ilibaev[newbie]
Gingerbread man

Answer from Jimmy Boy[guru]
Anatomy of human destructiveness. Erich Fromm.
A lot of interesting things about aggressiveness in people.

Answer from Rock "n" rolla[active]
Paul Ekman - "The Psychology of Lies"

Answer from I "am LOCO[guru]

Answer from Ivan Zinoviev[active]
Advise a hogwash!
Human psychological behavior, vyzanos nervous system and the work of the brain, directly of the person himself!
So for a start, read Sechenov. Understand what a general psychology is!

Answer from Boris Rzhevsky[guru]
There is a good and fairly simple, popular book, which is called "How to Understand People or the Psychological Drawing of a Personality". The author, Arkady Egides, is a professional psychologist, but this book is not a special one, but for a wide circle.

I am often told that I have a unique feeling for people. I would like to hear it in a different version, but so far the conversation begins only like this: “And what was evident that he could not be trusted, right? Why didn't I ask you then ... ”.

Of course, to understand people, you need to spend a lot of time with them. It's not enough to just fill the bumps - after several especially painful deceptions, you can close and not trust anyone at all.

To understand people, you need to learn to see patterns of human behavior and this is many times easier than it seems. Here are the main ones, beacons that will make you think whether you need such a person in the environment or not.

Adaptation skills

Neurosis is a disorder of adaptation. Young children begin to suffer from stuttering, roll their eyes, and pee when drastic changes have taken place in their lives, to which they have not been able to adapt. Adults also have neuroses, they crawl out of their heads in the form of rabid cockroaches and begin to gnaw and trample on relationships with others.

You can be friends with such a person, but you must be prepared that unpleasant surprises will become commonplace. This kind of relationship will distract you more than help you.

The simplest signal of a person's adaptation skills impairment may be his (or more often her) inability to quickly change plans: “Well, I’ve already tuned in (s) for this, and now something happened…”.

Want a troubled relationship? Let me in to you closer to man with impaired adaptation skills. While he will survive in your life, you will get it in full.

By the way, a question for men: "Do you know a trick when a girl abruptly changes her plans in order to attract you to her?" She enters the role of a capricious bitch, it infuriates you, but at the same time you are attracted to her. Why? Because in this way she demonstrates her significance in relationships - one, and high adaptation skills - two, which your subconscious mind reads as a sign of health.

Ability to be here and now

If a person does not hear you, most often it is not because he is busy or in a hurry, but because he cannot hear at all. Do you want to be forever misunderstood, to explain what you mean by this or that, to remain guilty? And believe me, they will leave you guilty ... Let someone who does not know how to listen to you.

An indirect sign may be a communication pattern in which he (or she) asks you only one-level questions. For example:

- How was the training session?

- It's hard today.

That's it, the first level of questions has been exhausted. Second-level questions like “why was it hard?”, “That you didn't get enough sleep?” will not sound. Instead of them there will be: "And I ..."

Reluctance to go deeper into the discussion of your topic - maybe

1. lack of interest in you (which in itself is significant)
2. or it may be a manifestation of a lack of interest in someone other than yourself in general, which means that before you “the gift is still the one”.

The beacon is this: if you feel that a person is not 100% in your conversation, this is already a signal that the phrase “why did I let him (her) so close to me” will one day be born in your head.

At what stage of life did you meet him (her)

History tends to repeat itself, and people tend to create the same situation around them.

Human survival skills are immense. In a period when he has no money or friends, he will unconsciously take on the shape and color of the best person in the world. If such good man lives alone, without money (an indicator of social utility and just discipline), without friends and massive support from his environment, you can turn away from him too. You do not have time to prove to the whole world that every rejected person is an accident. History repeats itself, remember? He will create a situation in the future because of which you will have to turn away from him.

Can you turn your back on a poor, abandoned person and make mistakes? Of course. But the chances will be on the side of “turning away” than “warm the snake”. If he is so good and an accident happened in his life, let him prove it to the world himself, without your participation. Better to collect flowers, not rubbish.

I think there are hundreds of rules that can help you better understand people, and a few of your experiences have already come to mind. Pay attention to these three, they are important.