Do I need to go through the heartache. Heartache. Hidden heartache

As an emotion, mental pain arises in response to a sharp global change in the habitual lifestyle of a person, which a person interprets as an important negative event. In most cases, this emotion is the result of a significant loss for the individual, for example: the death of a close relative, parting with a beloved partner, breakup due to betrayal with the best friend, death of a pet, loss of social status.

A rapidly arising emotion, with a kind of negative assessment by a person, is transformed into a long-term negative experience, translating mental pain into a deep, intensely expressed feeling. According to psychologists, any sudden loss by a person of components that are significant for life, be it the loss of a loved one or a valuable object, removes an essential link from the number of factors necessary for the survival of an individual.

Until recently, most doctors held the hypothesis that mental pain is purely subjective. Modern psychologists adhere to the theory that mental pain is a phenomenon completely different from bodily sensations, a kind of unconscious suffering for one's own "I". However, extensive studies conducted by American neuropsychologists have refuted this statement. The images obtained by means of a magnetic resonance imaging scanner confirmed the identity in the development of mental pain and physiological pain. In both cases, when a person experiences both mental suffering and physical pain, activation of neurons of the limbic system of the brain is observed.

It has also been found that mental anguish can manifest itself at the physiological level, in particular, it can be felt as psychogenic pain. This type of pain syndrome is not associated with somatic pathologies and does not have a clear localization. Often, mental, as well as psychogenic pain is an indispensable companion of depression, hysteria, hypochondria, phobic anxiety and other psychoemotional disorders.

Causes of occurrence

As a rule, all responsibility for the occurrence of moral suffering, mankind is accustomed to shifting solely to external factors and circumstances. However, this unpleasant experience of a psychosomatic nature can arise due to prolonged physical and mental stress, for example: a constant sensation of irrational fear, a long-term suppressed emotion of anger. Not taking into account the primordial physiological nature of such reactions: a deficiency of certain chemicals - neurotransmitters, excessive production of anxiety hormones, a person interprets his sensations as an exclusively internal feeling, not paying attention to the accompanying muscle spasms, tension headache and other somatic symptoms.

Quite often, a person cultivates mental pain on their own, creating a direct association with painful feelings experienced in the past from some event. Such a conscious fixation on negative situations of personal history connects any, even insignificant, phenomenon with previously experienced suffering, leading to a chronic mental "shake-up".

Often, the mental pain shown to others masks the obscene thoughts of a person. So, behind the suffering of the soul, there can be hidden the inner cynical need of the individual to find certain benefits, for example: by any means to attract attention to himself, to get a guarantee not to experience a fiasco in his actions. Exposed mental anguish can be a skillful instrument of revenge or become a means of gaining power over others.

An important reason for the widespread spread of mental anguish is the historical fact that Christian morality encourages and cultivates mental anguish. In the understanding of believers, the torment of the heart is a virtue, an indicator of righteousness and true faith of a person. Modern culture, to match Christianity, preaches the principle: the experience of suffering is a dignity, special heroism, a kind of indicator of a well-mannered humane personality, a necessary lot of a person on the path to transformation.

How to deal with mental pain: advice from psychologists

Step 1. Give yourself time to suffer

How to cope with mental pain - an uninvited guest who is unceremoniously destroying happiness and faith? To cope with mental pain, you should give yourself time to go through a difficult period, do not rush or push yourself. Remember: for most people, mental pain subsides on its own, provided that the "bleeding wound" is not recovered. This is similar to how relaxation occurs over time after a muscle spasm, as a psychogenic headache passes after a quality rest. The rate of natural healing of the body depends on a number of factors: the age of the person, his psychological characteristics, the state of the central nervous system, the significance of the events experienced for the individual.

Step 2. Get rid of the habit of dramatizing

Unfortunately, most of our contemporaries, who are prone to heartache, do not have sufficient psychological knowledge about how to relieve mental pain, or they do not use the skills in practice. Many of us have ritual patterns of behavior, the essence of which is "pour salt on the wound." This manifests itself in the habit of raising and discussing a sore subject, remembering the past "happy" days, not letting go, but pursuing a person, even when the futility of the relationship is clearly understood. Of course, the minor feeling that arose after a tragic event is a natural and understandable state, but the habit of deliberately dramatizing and increasing the scale of the catastrophe must be eradicated. If the mental pain in the heart is provoked by an event that cannot be changed, for example: with an incurable illness of a loved one, you should work on emotions and change the interpretation of the situation.

Mental suffering can be consciously or not strengthen the close environment, touching weak points, touching on unpleasant topics, giving "practical" advice. In such situations, in order to soothe the mental pain, it is necessary to reconsider personal contacts, temporarily stopping communication with such people who are doing a disservice.

Step 3. We measure our torment with the difficulties of the universe

Most people quickly grapple with heartache without realizing whether the problem really exists. Psychologists say that 99% of all "insoluble" difficulties are created independently by a person, more precisely, by the brain. People make an elephant out of a fly; temporary troubles are introduced to the rank of the apocalypse. And the mental pain that has arisen is not evidence of an insurmountable threat, but the fact that the person is confused in the interpretation of events, she lacks knowledge and skills.

In such a situation, mental pain is a valuable gift from nature that directs a person to study his personality, reflect on the meaning of life, and reflect on his reality. Psychologists advise recognizing the fact that a personal problem is the smallest grain in the complex structure of the universe. Understanding this allows a person to plunge much deeper than their difficulties, gives a person a chance to gain wisdom, change for the better, perform only useful actions and not waste energy.

Step 4. Exploring ourselves and our suffering

An important step is how to overcome mental pain, to give honest answers to the questions: “What truth does heart pain reveal? What lesson do I need to learn from this event? " To deal with mental pain, you need to immerse yourself in it and explore it. And to get out of a difficult state will help belief in your own strengths, purpose and motivation. Every person has a cherished dream, the realization of which is constantly postponed until later. A person, guided by primitive instincts, does not leave himself a chance to make a dream come true because of his own laziness, invented excuses for inaction, invented fears and lack of faith.

To get rid of mental pain, you need to devote time to studying your condition and try to determine the real cause of your feelings. To do this, you should describe your activities to the smallest detail over the last week on a piece of paper and try to describe your current feelings. In more than half of people, heartache is triggered by regretting misused time spent on absolutely useless things.

For example: instead of spending time on personal development and education, full-fledged social contacts, body care, a housewife sees her mission exclusively in performing routine household chores. Often, a woman with a similar lifestyle arises from the accumulated fatigue from the monotonous work in the household, which does not meet due assessment from the spouse, and reaches a critical point when the husband leaves the family.

What to do in this situation, and how to deal with the mental pain? Accept a fait accompli, reconsider life priorities, change the field of activity, work on disclosing new facets of personality, try to find your zest.

Step 5. Review your lifestyle

Important actions that must be performed every day in order to escape from the bottomless abyss and cope with mental pain:

• eat,
• sleep,
• move.

A varied, healthy, complete and tasty menu should be drawn up, enjoying the very ritual of eating. Sleep is an important component for restoring health, a magical cure for pain. Movement is precisely the argument for which any organism lives.

To get rid of mental pain, you need to have a healthy body, because the stability of the emotional sphere directly depends on the physical condition. In order to quickly cope with a painful state of mind, you need to "turn on" the body's resources by playing sports. Physical activity is not only a way to be in great shape and maintain somatic health, but also a chance to achieve harmony in the inner world, get moral pleasure, embark on the true path of life and find peace of mind.

Step 6. Taking care of loved ones

When your heart is completely melancholy, remember your loved ones and start taking care of them. Sometimes it is very difficult to take a step towards others, because when the soul suffers, all thoughts are focused only on their own state. Having got rid of the barriers of selfishness, showing attention and love to another person, as a reward you will receive gratitude, a surge of energy and an incentive to rise and live. Therefore, doing good to others, a person cares about his own well-being and can cope with the suffering of the heart.

Step 7. Get rid of destructive emotions

In order to get through the heartache, you need to get rid of negative emotions. Remember: the one who justifies and cultivates resentment, envy, jealousy, doomed to feel mental anguish, because the accumulated heat of negative passions will destroy, first of all, the person himself.

Step 8. Say no to addictions

Attention! Many people in distress try to get rid of their mental pain through alcohol, drugs, and risky activities. Due to heavy painful internal sensations and a lack of understanding of the nature of mental pain, a person, instead of efforts aimed at changing his personality, prefers to escape from reality, forgetting himself in the fog of destructive addictions. However, such a measure will not only not help to cope with mental pain, but also creates even more dangerous problems, depriving of willpower and taking away the last hope for happiness.

Step 9. Temper your soul

Remember, it is easier to prevent heartache than to deal with it. You should develop your emotional stability, train your mental fortitude, strengthen your psychological invulnerability. It is necessary to start hardening your soul by successfully overcoming life's little things. The basic rule: to identify the wrong interpretation of the event and change your perception of the situation at least for a neutral view.

For example: you were fired from a prestigious position as a result of redundancy. Natural emotions will be anger, resentment, anger, disappointment, fear for the future. However, such a forced "withdrawal" brings a lot of positive moments: to introduce novelty into the routine, the opportunity to try oneself in a new field, get another education, motivate them to succeed in their own business, discover their talents in another area. In this case, a positive interpretation of events will not give the slightest chance to be captured by your mental anguish.

Step 10. Working with the muscles of the face

The weirdest and funniest, but most effective way to cope with the torment of the soul: chew gum vigorously. The fact is that suffering involves static "freezing" and muscle tension, including the muscles of the face. Rhythmic and energetic movements of the jaws relieve the muscles from stiffness, eliminating spasms.

If you cannot cure the mental pain on your own, you should seek professional help from psychologists.

Regular failures in the field of love and a prolonged lack of career growth, the sad news of the loss of a loved one and depressing loneliness are the prerequisites for the emergence of severe pain in the depths of the soul. This phenomenon cannot be cured by taking an effective pill or potion. Consciousness of a person who is in depression acquires a coma.

It will not be possible to diagnose the problem that has appeared, because no medicines have been found to treat the above symptoms in the 21st century. Soothing capsules and psychotropic drugs can aggravate the situation, harming the mind damaged by grief and worries. It is not surprising that people have a question: How to relieve severe mental pain? What is the way to return a loved one to a fulfilling life? Where is the formula for success hidden? How to get rid of?

Mental pain appears in people who were not mentally prepared for the events that occurred. If you tune yourself in advance to various options for the development of the situation, then it will be much easier to realize the accomplished fact.

How to deal with heartache: a step-by-step guide to action

To solve the problem, it is recommended to contact a psychologist who correctly diagnoses the cause of the onset of spiritual experiences, proposing his own method of healing. However, it also becomes possible to get rid of the severe pain that every minute absorbs a person's consciousness. The main thing is to follow the simple sequence of actions recommended below:

• Identify the cause of the mental pain.
• Don't deny the presence of depression by accepting past events as part of the past.
• Understand the scale of the situation.
• Determine the consequences by projecting the most "terrible" picture of events.
• Match the results with the scale of the situation. Are the realities not so harsh?
• Change the familiar environment, gradually arousing in your minds interest in life.
• Get rid of the reminders of the event by "opening" a new page of your own being.
• Enjoy the positive while avoiding negative emotions.
• Learn to live in a new format by becoming happy.

It is difficult solely with the help of words and encouraging phrases. To restore mutual understanding with the damaged consciousness of a close friend and beloved, you will have to regularly be around, returning lost trust. Remember that severe mental pain causes a state of apathy towards the world, aggression towards people, hatred towards the events that have happened. Do not transfer this spectrum of emotions to yourself, because a loved one does not want to offend you - at this moment it is very difficult for him.

Exercising emotional stability on a regular basis can prevent the onset of mental pain. Rational perception of past events is a reliable base for a balanced and invulnerable person

Options for solving the problem at different ages

When you want to help your loved one get rid of their mental pain, be sure to consider their age. At different intervals of life, the worldview of people has a distinct similarity, therefore, the methods for solving the problem are identical:

• Age 5-10 years.

In children, spiritual experiences arise from the unfulfilled promises of the parents who did not fulfill the child's cherished dream. Encouraging such a behavior is an inappropriate decision of adults, but you need to help the baby during such a period. To "free" the consciousness of the offspring from, an unplanned trip to the amusement park is enough. You can buy a young explorer who learns the world, a portion of ice cream or a new toy - the main thing, a moment of surprise that evokes positive emotions in the child.

• Age 10-18 years old.

In such a period of time, mental pain becomes a consequence of the betrayal of a loved one or appears after a series of failures negatively perceived by peers. that take possession of the mind of a teenager, slow down the process of growing up, preventing the child from being realized in society. The only rational way out of this situation is to switch the attention of a person in transitional age to an exciting activity. The new social circle will allow the teenager to painlessly survive the depressive state.

• Age 18-30.

To regain emotional balance, you need to regularly be with an adult who is experiencing severe stress. At this age, depression appears after a failed love relationship that ended in divorce. Disorder in the family, lack of communication with the child, dissatisfaction with the authorities, lack of funds - the reasons for the experiences are varied. However, the method of treatment is invariably the same - heart-to-heart talks and a reliable "shoulder" of support.

In an attempt to help, do not become a "hostage" of your own mercy, sharing the worldview of a person experiencing severe mental pain. You have to listen, giving him the opportunity to speak out, but disagree, maintaining the format of depressive communication. Be there and prove your loyalty by restoring your loved one faith in people and a bright future.

You cannot live without mental pain, it will sooner or later make itself felt. It can be provoked by any event that no one expected, and for which no one was preparing. She strikes a crushing blow, breaking everything that was familiar and seemed so reliable. Mental pain is the most terrible and destructive of all that can harm a person. Because it is inside and you cannot run away from it. She'll have to face it anyway. You can get distracted from it, but only for a while. Very soon she will declare herself again, which is why it is so important to learn how to cope with it, and even better to avoid it by any available means, although it is very difficult. But nothing is impossible for someone who believes.

Dealing with heartache

When the soul hurts, it ceases to please the world around us, what seemed wonderful yesterday, today only aggravates the pain and causes suffering. And, even having managed to forget for a minute, people very soon remember her again and again. And no matter what they do and say, no matter how distracted and try to forget, she does not go anywhere, but waits in the wings to grab attention again.

And here it is important not to run away and not fill the whole day with business, but to find time when no one will interfere with putting things in order in your own soul. For the daily bustle, grandiose plans or a desire to get through this day faster, most never look into their souls at all. It does not occur to them or they are very afraid of it. Their head is busy with something else, but not with the fact that order should be not only at home, in the workplace, in the family, but also in their own souls. But that doesn't protect them from pain. All the same, she will remind you that she also needs attention.

And if at first it will be just a feeling that something is going wrong, then as soon as an unpleasant event occurs in life, pain will fill the soul, which has been abandoned for so long. And it will be possible to get rid of it only by understanding what led to this, what became the reason for its appearance.

Because you can get rid of something only by finding the source. And to do this when all the negativity that occurs in a person's life has accumulated in the soul is very difficult. Any information, especially negative, leaves its mark. And so that this does not affect the general state of mind of a person, it must be pondered, drawn conclusions and released. Instead, people absorb everything they see and hear without even trying to analyze and assess what happened. And then they wonder why they lose their nerves at the slightest failure. But the soul simply did not have the strength to calmly react to everything. Too much negativity is pouring on her already.

TV with its terrible news and stories, disrespect, inattention, lack of money, never ending household chores, problems not working, quarrels, unfulfilled dreams of career growth, fear of making the wrong choice, difficulties in relationships, lack of understanding in the family or loneliness - all this leaves wounds and clogs the soul with negativity.

And instead of finding the source of the pain, understanding what provoked it and how to get rid of it with the help of the available means, the person does not know where to start. Everything that he so carefully tried to ignore seems to be piling on him. And wherever you look, there is no way out.

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Because at one time he did not want to analyze what was happening, did not adhere to hygiene when choosing programs, news or films, refused to fight what did not suit in life, constantly avoided finding out relations with those who offended or caused pain. And now, when the thicket of patience is overflowing, there is no strength to pull myself together. Life has turned into a strip of obstacles that are increasingly difficult to overcome and there is no end or edge in sight. Mental pain becomes a constant companion that does not disappear anywhere, no matter how hard you try to pretend that everything is normal.

But don't despair. It doesn't matter why the soul hurts, the main thing is that no matter how bad it is, you can cope with it if you understand that it's time to stop listening to those around you, whoever you may be.

Do not rely on them in everything and think that you can be happy if someone is with you. You must seek support exclusively within yourself. It's great when someone who supports you is next to you, but until you believe in yourself, no one will solve your problems that prevent you from enjoying life. Only you are capable of doing this, realizing that it is within your power and no one else can.

Take it for granted that there is and will be negative. Yes, he knocks down, sometimes causes unbearable suffering. But only you decide how it will affect you. If you are responsible for your life, then you yourself decide how to react to what is happening. Otherwise, you put your fate in the hands of those who hurt you, willingly or unwillingly.

Top 7 how to deal with heartache

The one who is attentive to himself and realized that his soul is a temple, and it requires attention no less, and sometimes more than the body, and even more so than those around him, never experience crushing blows. Yes, no one is immune from crises. At a certain age, some earlier, some later, everyone rethinks their life and - this is absolutely normal. People should think over, evaluate and analyze the path traveled, draw conclusions, evaluate actions and achievements, decide what to do next - go to the set goals, create new ones or even take a break and devote time to themselves and those who are around, before it's too late ... As the saying goes: you cannot earn all the money and you cannot achieve success in everything.

Those who have not deprived themselves of the right to do what they consider necessary, endure such periods absolutely calmly, and cope with mental pain much faster than anyone else. Because I learned not to react to negativity, hurtful words, actions and indifference from others, I taught myself not to wait for anything and not worry when something failed, because something else will turn out. To achieve such spiritual harmony, you must not brush off your emotions, feelings and thoughts, but believe in yourself and listen to your own desires.

You need to believe that you deserve the best and there is no one who would have the right to question this. Because a strong person knows that it is impossible to hurt someone who carefully guards his peace of mind. He will never do anything that can disturb him and will protect himself from any situations that may cause pain.

Often times, heartache arises from the fear that you are not good enough to never be happy. Therefore, stop thinking about what you are missing and what else you need to fix in yourself in order to become happy, it is better to think about whether you are going that way. Are you moving there, are you sure that you are doing everything right, is the current situation joyful, are you satisfied with your work, family relationships, health, people around you?

Analyze and don't be afraid of the conclusions you come to. The main thing is to understand that you are aware of what you are doing and will be able to protect what is dear, and do not retreat under the pressure of others. Stop considering someone better than yourself. Instead, look for ways to fix what you don't like.

Your task is to listen to your inner aspirations and dreams, and not satisfy someone's needs. Learn to respect yourself, then those around you will begin to respect you. And when you feel that your interests are met, and you do what your soul tells you, any pain will disappear. After all, it arose because you lacked something. And when you regain your self-esteem and use the right to decide for yourself and understand what you want, you will only have to receive it.

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People who have a noble goal, be it helping the disadvantaged, serving the Motherland, protecting their rights and the rights of those who are not able to stand up for themselves, who know what they want, understand what is important to them, do not compromise with their conscience , is able to admit mistakes and correct them, if possible, never suffers. They don't have time for this.

There is nothing more terrible, dangerous, exhausting and life-breaking than mental pain. It is she who makes people do things that they would not have thought of before. It is not easy to get rid of it, it is difficult to heal, but there is always a chance to learn important experience from it and move on, becoming wiser and stronger. And the main task for any person in life, no matter what anyone says, is not gaining wealth, power or fame, but the ability to live in harmony with your own soul. Without this, you simply cannot become happy.

A person would rather choose to experience suffering at the level of the body than to cope with emotional experiences. When mental suffering sets in, a person wants to get rid of them in a natural way. However, to understand how to do this, you need to understand the very concept of mental pain.

What is heartache?

The online magazine site defines mental pain as excruciating, intense and insurmountable suffering that a person experiences at the emotional level. Some sages say that mental pain is much more terrible and dangerous than physical pain. It causes pains that cannot be compared with pain during illness. It can also provoke the development of various diseases at the physiological level.

Let's note the most notable examples. For example, when a person is experiencing a breakup in a love relationship, they may lose their appetite. Isn't it an upset stomach! For example, when a person is afraid of something, he loses sleep.

The mental pain that begins at the level also affects the body, which can become ill or stop functioning normally.

Moreover, mental pain is the result of a person's thoughts. There are no problems in nature. In the world, certain events simply occur that do not have a positive or negative color. And only a person sees problems in some of them. All this happens because he accepts some things and events, but not some. What a person calls a problem is actually a situation that is uncomfortable for him. He is uncomfortable, he does not want to get involved with something, which is why he calls a completely natural situation a problem.

This is not an imperfect person, and he himself or other people do not accept in him the qualities and characteristics that are inherent in him. This is not a tragic event, but the person himself reacts to what is happening tragically, negatively, with tears.

All problems are in your head. Problems may not exist if you perceive everything that happens neutrally or positively. React to the events that please you with a smile, and to the unpleasant ones - as to the tasks that need to be solved. Failures are given to you as lessons that need to be disassembled, understood and resolved in order to still get the desired result. Some events should simply be accepted as fact. And the rest of the cases are given in order to gain experience, knowledge and wisdom.

There are simply situations that may be uncomfortable for you. However, this does not make them problems to be avoided. You just need to see the situation with a sober look, impartially, understand what result you still want to achieve in comparison with what you have at the moment, and start acting in that direction to change the situation.

All problems are in your head. From some situation you create a problem with your shouts, swearing and ultimatums. You are not solving a situation, but making a problem out of it that other people have to solve for you. By blaming someone for what you don't like and are uncomfortable with, you shift the responsibility away from yourself to the guilty ones. You are waiting for the situation to be resolved on its own or through the actions of other people. And when will you learn to solve your "problems" yourself?

Problems are created by the person himself. In nature, events just happen that can be unpleasant. But this is a reason for finding a solution, and not for quarrels and. However, a person rarely adheres to the recommendations considered. He continues to create problems in his head that cause him mental and emotional pain.

Thus, mental pain is resentment, rejection, resentment and other negative experiences that a person experiences when he disagrees with something. And in the world, a lot of events are formed that a person may not like. Is it possible now to react to every event with mental suffering? Only a person himself chooses how he feels and react in a situation that he does not like.

At the same time, there is massive propaganda going on. The common man has always been programmed by the leaders of society. At different times, people are programmed for one thing or another. If earlier it was an honor to join the army and fight, today people understand that they are being used as a slave force. Leaders quarrel with each other, and ordinary people fight, although this is not their fault.

At all times, there has been programming for illness and misfortune. The common people cannot be happier, richer and healthier than their king / tsar / sovereign. That is why the majority live unhappily and poorly, because the king must surpass his people. Unhappy people are easier to lead, manage, manipulate. Promise the unfortunate person to give a piece of happiness, and he will do whatever you ask of him! This is the mechanism at work when individuals take advantage of the grief and unhappiness of the majority.

First, you need to make people sick and unhappy, then to manage them! From childhood, every common person is brought up. Sometimes even the parents themselves do not notice how they give their children false programs, which will then make them poor and unhappy. Any media sources are aimed at making a person mentally ill.

Day in and day out, you hear from TV screens how wars happen, murders and people get sick. You read from books that you are sick with something or that you can get sick if you do not perform certain actions. Either you are advised to be sacrificial and helping, then you are programmed to desire to be free and independent. All this is programming.

"Abstinence from sex leads to frigidity / impotence", "For a woman, beauty is the main thing," "You need to have sex every day," "A man is a breadwinner, and a woman is a keeper of the hearth," etc. All these are destructive programs. People begin to love each other with neurotic love. Men become public figures, and women become second-class people. Women are made tools in the hands of men, and men are programmed to have sex almost every hour. But excessive depletion of the human body.

You are programmed for such a life when by your own actions you will lead yourself to poverty, disease and misery. For example, the usual expression "To get rich, you need to work more than 8 hours a day" does not lead to wealth. Such a program is beneficial for leaders, entrepreneurs, employers, who will always be happy to hire people who will only work, not sleep or eat. You won't get rich this way, but you can please your bosses. Be vigilant and watch what phrases and beliefs you program yourself for mental suffering.

How to deal with mental pain?

Obviously, there are many reasons for the occurrence of mental pain. A person first of all begins to form it in his head when his ideas do not coincide with the real state of affairs, or when he is worried about his loved ones. Mental pain can be felt by all people. But how to deal with it?

All people experience mental suffering in their own way:

1. Some are trying to suppress it. However, it goes into the subconscious, periodically reminding of itself, especially when events arise that hurt just as painfully.
2. Others talk about mental pain, throw it out. Either they take out their anger on people or objects, or they communicate with relatives, friends who support and help.
3. Still others are looking for a way to solve a situation that causes mental pain. Perhaps this option for eliminating suffering is considered the most ideal.

How to get rid of mental pain?

If a person does not recognize the presence of mental pain, then he avoids it, and in fact it ceases to be in a conscious level. It goes into the subconscious, from where it periodically breaks out when a person again encounters events that mentally hurt him. Here you need to get rid of the mental pain, not avoid it.

If you drive the pain of the soul into the subconscious, then it will begin to change a person: his character, relationships with others, close from new opportunities and acquaintances. A person will begin to relate to the world and people differently.

A person stops creating, being proactive, working and having a good rest. While he is tormented by mental anguish, he is not able to live peacefully and enjoy life. All this happens at the level of emotions that govern an adult and a conscious person.

If you cannot cope with mental pain on your own, then the help of a psychologist is offered to help you understand the problem and eliminate it.

Heartache after breaking up

Another form of mental anguish is pain after separation. Both a woman and a man can suffer. The departure or death of a loved one always causes resentment and other emotions that cause pain.

After parting, a person goes through the following stages:

1. Negation. At first, a person denies the accomplishment of an event that does not please him. I don't want to believe what happened. The person still has hopes that everything can still be returned.
2. Resentment, hatred. When a person admits the presence of parting, the departure of a loved one, he begins to look for those to blame. He blames himself, then the departed partner. Here, hatred is manifested both to oneself and to a partner.
3. Pain. Tears, crying, humility and other experiences occur at the stage when a person accepts his problem. He learns to live in a new way, first experiencing acute emotions.

Intense mental pain

Mental pain is the result of thoughts and experiences that the person himself creates. To get rid of severe suffering, which is sometimes unbearable, you must follow one of the scenarios:

• Eliminate the cause of the mental pain. For example, making peace with a loved one if the pain is caused by his departure.
• Accept the situation, change your attitude and perception of it. If the problem cannot be eliminated, then you should accept it and learn to live with it.

It is recommended not to run away from your own experiences. Emotions torment, but you should accept their presence. Then you should come to your senses and understand what is happening. Heartache is denial, rejection, resentment about a situation. What happens if emotions are changed?

The bottom line of heartache

Heartache doesn't do anything good. The sages say that man grows and develops through suffering. However, an ordinary person often only develops complexes and fears in himself on the basis of the pain he is experiencing. As a result, a person begins to run even faster from those situations that can cause unpleasant emotions.

Getting rid of mental pain can only be done by willpower. Even when working with a psychologist, you will have to make an effort and feel the desire to get rid of suffering.

People who come to me for advice are often guided by mental pain, it arises against the background of some unpleasant events in life. But the request is such that the client just wants to get rid of this pain, asks for a magic pill that will instantly stop this torment.

Is heartache so terrible? How can it help us in life and why does it exist?

I want to talk about this with you in this article.

What is mental pain, and how does it arise?

Mental pain is a combination of several negative emotions associated with a negative (as a person estimates it) event.

• What emotions can cause heartache?

Resentment, anger, longing, anxiety, sadness, envy, guilt and shame, rage, anger, disgust, and more. There are situations in which a complex of these emotions arises. They also affect the state of a person. Due to the inability to understand what is happening, the person suffers and feels uncomfortable.

Desire to relieve pain.

When a person feels bad, then, as a rule, there is a completely natural desire to get rid of it. After all, liberation will bring relief, and the suffering will end.

• Do I need to immediately get rid of the pain?

The point is, our emotions are not meant to torment us. They are made to signal. About what? About what is happening in the outside world. They help us understand how to act and react to a particular event. But, as a rule, a person does not know or does not know how to use this tool.

But it contains great resources for positive changes in life.

How does pain help us to change and change the world around us?

The pain makes you feel uncomfortable. The simplest example. The person is sick, but does not experience any symptoms. How does he know he is sick? Here, unpleasant sensations in the body come to the rescue. This causes anxiety in a person, and he seeks to understand what happened to him, goes to the doctor.

Heartache works the same way. When the soul hurts, then a person understands that something in his life is going wrong.

But here we are just starting to act on a different principle. Instead of turning to, for example, a psychologist, we are looking for various ways to numb the pain. Like using analgin, we take, for example, alcohol or engage in various relationships that will not be beneficial, and much more.

If you pay attention, the path is the same as with physical pain - to understand the cause and heal.

How to heal from heartache

1. Understand the reason.

If you are tormented by internal pain, then remember if there were any unpleasant events or disturbing news. Run your mind through your life (for example, on recent events), try to highlight exactly those situations that strongly attract your attention.

1. Read signals.

Then turn inward. Identify what emotions are tormenting or bothering you. Write them down on a piece of paper. It can be a list or a little reflection. It is not always possible to immediately determine what exactly is boiling in the soul. Then you can think about it in free form. Try asking yourself: "Is it resentment? Is it anger? Is it melancholy?" And listen carefully to what is happening inside, to what emotions the soul responds.

1. Comprehend emotions.

Each emotion has its own meaning. Try to determine for yourself what emotions tell you, what message they convey to you. For example, resentment is unjustified expectations, anger is a feeling of powerlessness, not understanding how to change the situation for the better, or violation of boundaries. Create your own portrait of emotions. Write down the message.

1. React emotion.

In order for the pain to finally go away (at the third stage it should already become much easier, and sometimes completely), react to the emotions with your body. Feel what you want to do? Maybe run, stomp, jump, dance. Feel these emotions in your body and let them physically come out.

After all these manipulations, the pain should go away. Thus, you will not only heal from unpleasant sensations, but also maintain the health of your body. They say that all diseases are from the nerves. This is the truth. After all, unreacted emotions often block physical health.

If you cannot work out the situation on your own, do not hesitate to contact a psychologist. It is always easier to understand what is happening with a specialist.

I wish you health and happiness!