Speech therapy portal / Rhinolalia / Psychology: problems of high self-esteem. The pros and cons of high self-esteem. Pros and cons of high self-esteem in a person How to deal with high self-esteem

Psychology: problems of high self-esteem. The pros and cons of high self-esteem. Pros and cons of high self-esteem in a person How to deal with high self-esteem

23.01.2021

Heightened self-esteem Is an individual's overestimation of his own potential. Such self-esteem can reveal both positive effects and negative effects. Positive influence expressed in the confidence of the subject. Negative influences include increased egoism, a disregard for the point of view or opinion of others, an overestimation of one's own strengths.

Often, inadequately overestimated self-esteem in case of failure and failure can plunge the individual into the abyss of a depressive state. Therefore, no matter what benefit the overestimated self-esteem of a person may bring, it is still better to try to keep it under control.

High self-esteem signs

Overestimated self-esteem of a person is more monotonous in comparison with underestimated self-esteem. First of all, such a person puts himself above others, considers himself a luminary, and all others unworthy of him. However, a person himself does not always put himself above others, often people themselves exalt him, but he is not able to adequately relate to such an assessment of himself, and pride takes possession of him. Moreover, she can stick to him so strongly that even when the moment of glory is far behind, pride remains with him.

Inadequately high self-esteem and its signs:

a person is always confident in his own righteousness, even with the existence of constructive arguments and arguments in favor of the opposite point of view;

in any conflict situation or in a dispute, the individual is sure that the last phrase should remain with him and he does not care what this phrase will be;

he completely denies the existence of an opposite opinion, even rejects the possibility that everyone is entitled to their own point of view. If he nevertheless agrees with such a statement, he will be sure of the “wrong” point of view of the interlocutor, different from his;

the subject is sure that if something does not work out for him, then in this situation it is not he who is guilty, but the surrounding society or the prevailing circumstances;

he does not know how to ask for forgiveness and apologize;

the individual constantly competes with colleagues and friends, always wanting to be better than others;

he expresses his own point of view or principled positions constantly, even if his opinion is not interesting to anyone, and no one asks to express him;

in any discussion, a person very often uses the pronoun "I";

any criticism directed at him, he perceives as a manifestation of disrespect to his person, and by all means makes it clear that he is absolutely indifferent to the opinion of others about him;

it is important for him to be always perfect and never make mistakes and mistakes;

any failure or failure can knock him out of his working rhythm for a long time, he begins to feel depressed and irritable when he cannot do something or achieve the intended result;

prefers to take only cases in which the achievement of results is associated with difficulties, while, often, without even considering the possible risks;

the individual is afraid to seem weak, defenseless or insecure to others;

always prefers to put his own interests and hobbies first;

the individual is subject to excessive selfishness;

he is inclined to teach the people around life, starting with any little thing, for example, how to fry potatoes correctly, and ending with more global ones, for example, how to make money;

in conversations, he loves to talk more than to listen, so he constantly interrupts;

his tone of conversation is characterized by arrogance, and any requests are more like orders;

he strives to be the first and the best in everything, and if this does not work out, he can fall into.

People with high self-esteem

The characteristic of overestimated self-esteem is that people suffering from such a "disease" have a distorted, towards overestimation, idea of their own person. They, as a rule, somewhere in the depths of their souls, feel loneliness and dissatisfaction with themselves. They often have a rather difficult relationship with the surrounding society, since the desire to see better than they are in reality leads to arrogant, arrogant, defiant behavior. Sometimes their actions and deeds are even aggressive.

Individuals with high self-esteem are very fond of praising themselves, in a conversation they constantly try to emphasize their own merits, and about strangers they can allow themselves disapproving and disrespectful statements. They assert themselves in this way at the expense of the people around them and strive to prove to the whole universe that they are always right. Such people consider themselves to be the best, and others are much worse than them.

Subjects with overestimated self-esteem react painfully to any, even harmless, criticism. Sometimes they can even perceive it aggressively. The peculiarity of interaction with such people contains a requirement on their part that others constantly recognize their superiority.

Inflated self-esteem of the cause

More often inadequate assessment towards overestimation arises due to improper family upbringing. Often, inadequate self-esteem is formed in a subject who was one child in a family or the first-born (less common). From early childhood, the kid feels like the center of attention and the main person in the house. After all, all the interests of family members are subject to his desires. Parents with affection on their faces perceive his actions. They indulge the child in everything, and he develops a distorted perception of his own "I" and the idea of his special place in the world. It begins to seem to him that the globe revolves around him.

A girl's overestimated self-esteem often depends on the circumstances associated with their forced existence in the harsh male world and the struggle for their personal place in society with chauvinists in pants. After all, everyone strives to point out to a woman where she belongs. In addition, a girl's overestimated self-esteem is often associated with the external attractiveness of her face and body structure.

A man with high self-esteem imagines himself to be the center object of the universe. That is why he is indifferent to the interests of others and will not listen to the judgments of the "gray mass". After all, this is how he sees other people. Male inadequate self-esteem is characterized by unreasonable confidence in his subjective rightness, even in the face of evidence to the contrary. Such men can still be called.

According to statistics, a woman with an overestimated self-esteem is much less common than a man with an overestimated self-esteem.

Inflated and low self-esteem

Self-esteem is an internal representation of the subject about himself, his own potential, his social role and life positions. It also determines the attitude towards society and the world as a whole. Self-esteem has three facets. So, for example, love for people begins with love for oneself, and may end on the side where love already turns into low self-esteem.

The upper limit of self-assessment is overestimated self-esteem, as a result of which the individual perceives his personality incorrectly. He sees not himself real, but a contrived image. Such an individual incorrectly perceives the surrounding reality and his place in the world, idealizes his external data and internal potential. He considers himself smarter and sane, much more beautiful than those around him and more successful than everyone else.

A subject with inadequate self-esteem always knows and is able to do everything better than others, knows the answers to any questions. High self-esteem and the reasons for it can be different, for example, a person seeks to achieve a lot, to become a successful banker or a famous athlete. Therefore, he goes ahead to achieve his goal, not noticing either friends or relatives. For him, his own individuality becomes a kind of cult, and he considers those around him a gray mass. However, often behind high self-esteem, uncertainty in one's own potential and strengths can be hidden. Sometimes overestimated self-esteem is just a kind of protection from the outside world.

High self-esteem - what to do? First, you should try to recognize the uniqueness of each an individual... Everyone has the right to their own point of view, which may be correct, despite the fact that it does not coincide with yours. Below are a few rules to guide your self-esteem.

Try not only to listen to the speaker during a conversation, but also to hear him. Do not hold the erroneous opinion that others can only talk nonsense. Believe that in many areas they can understand much better than you. After all, a person cannot be an expert in everything. Allow yourself to make mistakes and blunders, because they only help you gain experience.

Do not try to prove anything to someone, each person is beautiful with their individuality. Therefore, do not flaunt your best features all the time. Do not get depressed if you could not achieve the desired result, it is better to analyze the situation in terms of why it happened, what you did wrong, what is the reason for the failure. Understand that if something did not work out for you, then it was your fault, and not the fault of the surrounding society or circumstances.

Consider it axiomatic that everyone has flaws and try to accept that you, too, are not perfect and that you have negative traits. Better to work on and fix the flaws than to close your eyes. And for this, learn adequate self-criticism.

Low self-esteem is manifested in the negative attitude of the individual towards himself. Such individuals tend to belittle their own achievements, dignity and positive features... The reasons for low self-esteem can be different. So, for example, self-esteem may decrease due to negative suggestion from society or self-hypnosis. Also, the reasons for it can come from childhood, as a result of improper parenting, when adults constantly told the baby that he was bad or compared with other babies not in his favor.

Inflated self-esteem in a child

If a child's self-esteem of personality is overestimated and he notices only positive features in himself, then it is unlikely that in the future it will be easy for him to build relationships with other children, find solutions to issues with them and come to a consensus. Such babies are more conflicted than their peers and more often “give up” when they fail to achieve the set results or goals that correspond to their ideas about themselves.

The characteristic of a child's overestimated self-esteem is his overestimation of himself. It often happens that parents or other significant relatives tend to overestimate the achievements of the baby, while tirelessly admiring any of his actions, intelligence, ingenuity. This leads to the emergence of the problem of socialization and intrapersonal conflict, when the child finds himself in the environment of his peers, where he is transformed from the “very-very” into “one of the group”, where it turns out that his skills are not so outstanding, but the same as those of others, or even worse, which is even more difficult for the child. In this case, overestimated self-esteem can sharply become underestimated and cause mental trauma in the baby. The severity of the injury will depend on the age at which the child merged into a foreign environment for him - the older he is, the more he will experience intrapersonal conflict.

In connection with an inadequately high self-esteem, a child develops a wrong perception of himself, an idealized image of his “I”, his own potential and value for the surrounding society. Such a child emotionally rejects anything that might disturb his self-image. As a result, the perception of reality is distorted, and the attitude towards it is transformed into inadequate, perceived only at the level of emotions. Children with high self-esteem are characterized by communication difficulties.

The child has high self-esteem - what to do? A huge role in the formation of children's self-esteem is played by the interested attitude of parents, their approval and praise, encouragement and support. All this stimulates the child's activity, his cognitive processes, and forms the child's morality. However, praise also needs to be correct. There are several general rules when a child should not be praised. If the baby has not achieved something with the help of his own labor - physical, mental or mental, then there is no need to praise him. Also, the beauty of the child is not subject to approval. After all, it was not he himself who achieved this, nature rewards children with spiritual or external beauty. It is by no means advisable to praise his toys, clothes or accidental finds. Feeling pity or wanting to be liked is also not a good reason for praise. Remember, excessive praise can backfire.

Constant approval of everything that the child does or does not do, leads to the formation of inadequate self-esteem in him, which subsequently will negatively affect the process of his socialization and interpersonal interaction.

Overestimated self-esteem of a person (in psychology) is a person's problem associated with an adequate assessment of himself. There is no single answer to the question of whether high self-esteem is good or bad. This phenomenon has both positive and negative sides. A positive characteristic is self-confidence. Bad characteristics: an increased level of selfishness, an overestimation of one's own strengths and capabilities.

Signs of high self-esteem

Signs of high self-esteem are manifested in human behavior. The psychology of how a person evaluates himself directly affects relationships with people around him. If overconfidence prevails, communication problems arise. The worst of them is when a person is left completely alone.

Inflated self-esteem has signs:

The person is convinced that he is always right. At the same time, significant arguments can be made in favor of an alternative opinion, but this does not affect the individual in any way.
Confidence in the existence of the only correct point of view - personal. The person denies the existence of the opposite opinion as such. If, due to some circumstances, he still needs to accept someone else's point of view, he will still consider it incorrect.
Another characteristic of high self-esteem is to have the final say. A person is sure that only he can draw conclusions, determine the further course of events.
One of the signs of a self-confident person is the inability to apologize, ask for forgiveness.
With high self-esteem, a person blames others for his troubles. If something doesn't work out, then other people are to blame. If a person reaches some heights, then this is only his merit.
An individual is inherent in the opinion that the title "best" can only be worn by him and no one else.
A great desire to be the first in everything, not to make mistakes.
Having high self-esteem, a person expresses his point of view even when not asked for it. He believes that others are always interested in his opinion on any issue.
In speech, a personal pronoun is often used.
With any setbacks, blunders, there is a feeling of irritability, confusion. A person easily goes astray.
Improving self-esteem is characterized by a dismissive attitude towards other people's criticism. A different opinion is perceived as disrespect, so you should not pay attention to it.
Failure to take risks soberly. A self-confident person often takes on difficult cases that are fraught with certain dangers.
Fear of looking insecure, weak, helpless.
High level of selfishness.
Personal interests and needs always come first.
The person often interrupts the interlocutor, as he is used to talking more than listening.
With signs of self-confidence, the individual is inclined to lecture others, even in small things.
Arrogant tone.

Reasons for the appearance of high self-esteem

Most often, high self-esteem is formed at the time of primary socialization. Overestimation of self-opinion occurs in the process of parenting, education in preschool educational institutions, school. A person with high self-esteem in a more mature age is no longer able to break the established directions of communication with others in the mind.

The reasons for high self-esteem lie in the following:

Parental narcissism. The problem begins to emerge during the period of raising children. The child does not receive adequate satisfaction of emotional needs, because parents perceive him and treat him as a way of self-affirmation. Overestimated self-esteem compensates for the lack of these positive experiences.
The reason for the overestimation of self-esteem can be the fact that the individual is the first or only child in the family. This problem is especially manifested in families that could not have a child for a long time.
Childhood spoiling can be a problem. This happens in cases when the parents have built the wrong relationship "child-adult": they paid excessive attention to him, put his interests first, did not restrict the baby in anything, satisfied all the whims on demand, no matter what.
Appearance. In some cases, it is common for a person to consider himself better than others because of his own attractiveness. A bright appearance is perceived by a person as a kind of advantage over others. More often than not, this demeanor is inherent in women than men.
Inflated self-esteem can be formed by teachers, teachers. Some teachers distinguish students on the basis of personal sympathies, high material, social status of the student's parents.
Lack of tests of one's own abilities. For example, a child may be able to cope well with the workload in a regular school, but studying in a more prestigious institution would require more effort from him. If an individual does not meet serious trials on his way, he may begin to ascribe to himself the presence of outstanding abilities.
The presence of a rare natural talent. Such people are often said to be unique, so a person develops a high opinion of himself.
Financial security. When an individual does not need anything, his self-esteem becomes excessively overestimated.

Individuals who have increased self-confidence often come into conflict with people whose level of self-esteem is much lower than theirs.

The reason for the high level of self-importance in each case can be determined using psychodiagnostic methods.

High self-esteem in children and adolescents

High self-esteem is formed under the influence of certain factors. Sometimes parents overdo it in an effort to praise the child, because of this, children develop an incorrect perception of themselves in relation to others.

A high level of self-esteem in children and adolescents is due to:

Narcissism. Many parents believe that there is nothing wrong with praising teenagers all the time. However, when parents too often focus on the child's appearance, talents, the latter has a clear idea that he is unique and has an advantage over others. Thus, adolescents become narcissistic "narcissists."
No punishment. If parents encourage their child for even the slightest success, not paying attention to the misconduct, the teenager's level of self-esteem increases. In case of failures, mistakes, the child looks for the reason on the side, but not in himself.

To form a healthy self-esteem in a child, it is recommended:

Make teenagers feel safe.
Make it clear to the child that he is loved, accepted in the family, school, etc. Without this identification, a teenager may experience a feeling of loneliness and rejection.
For a good, full-fledged development, a child must have goals. So he will be able to direct energy, thoughts in the right direction.
To give the child the opportunity to cope with difficulties on his own. Thus, people develop competence, a sense of their own strength.
Letting you become responsible. Being a teenager is not easy. At this age, it is important to make it clear to the child that each step leads to certain consequences. So he will learn to make decisions more consciously and in case of failure he will not look for reasons in others, but will take all responsibility on himself.
Let your teen be helpful. When a child contributes to a particular activity, he develops the idea that his opinion is also taken into account and matters.
Teach your child to be disciplined. If parents give real assessments, recommendations for action and opportunities to test themselves in a given situation, the child will begin to think, reason, find solutions to problems, ponder the consequences of actions that he can commit. This kind of introspection is essential for further growth.
Encourage real merit, achievement.
Give the child the right idea of failure. It is important to explain that mistakes are not a reason to despair, but an incentive to improve yourself, your skills.

High self-esteem in men

Overestimated self-esteem in men is common and is a problem both for the personality itself and for others. Such a person is used to exaggerating his dignity.

High self-esteem is determined by the following criteria:

High sense of self-worth.
A man does not pay attention to criticism at all, even if reasoned. It does not occur to a man that he may not understand something. He is fully confident that he knows everything better than anyone else.
A person can afford to scoff at those who, in his opinion, do not deserve respect.
The need for constant admiration for your person. If this does not happen, the man becomes discouraged.
Striving to be the best everywhere and in everything.
Confidence in their own uniqueness and originality.
A high level of self-esteem prevents you from feeling what compassion is. If all this has already been done, then such a feeling is of a short-term nature.
The conviction that everyone around him envies him.
Demonstrating fictional accomplishments to boost self-esteem.
Arrogant behavior, vanity, pronounced selfishness.
Mercantile interests. Inflated material needs, desires.
Irritability, anger, if someone turns out to be better than him.
Masking your negative traits, sides.
Commanding tone of communication. Such people often tell others how and what to do.
Inability to perceive refusals, failures. If the situation takes an unpleasant and unexpected turn, the man does not know what to do. He becomes confused and depressed.
Excessive resentment. A man is easily offended if he does not receive due admiration for his "merits."
A tendency to abuse, scandals. Such men love to take revenge if someone crossed their path.
Excessive narcissism. Overconfident men believe that they are the most attractive, and this gives them the right to dismiss the people around them.
The need for complete control. Such men have a great need for power. They like to feel independent. This is how they manifest their masculine essence. Otherwise, they feel hurt, inferior.
Idealization of yourself, your life.

High self-esteem in men gives rise to such a problem as a constant desire for success and universal love at any cost. After such a man achieves a certain financial position and occupies a high place in society, he considers his ambitions to be satisfied.

High self-esteem is a psychological problem. It will take a lot of time and effort to solve. People with high self-esteem can turn to a psychologist for help, as long as it is voluntary.

If a person has high self-esteem, he can do the following exercise:

10 main advantages must be written on a piece of paper;
each should be graded on a severity scale from 1 to 5;
then you should ask your friends, relatives to do the same;
then the obtained results are compared and analyzed.

If the estimates are very different, you need to think about why this happened. You should try to determine the real reason for these discrepancies in yourself, your own behavior, and not in other people.

Rules for the formation of adequate self-esteem

There are several rules for building good self-esteem:

Awareness plays a significant role on the path of transformation. It is important to soberly assess your external and internal data. To do this, it is recommended to look at yourself more often from the side. You need to carefully analyze your strengths and weaknesses.
One should learn to respect the opinion of others, to value their dignity. Many of them can be excellent experts in their field.
Learning to accept constructive criticism is recommended. Resentment is the worst reaction in a situation like this.
When completing tasks, you need to set high goals, but in no case get upset, do not panic if something went wrong.
It is important to remember that everyone has disadvantages.
Self-criticism is a good cure for misplaced self-assessments. It is useful for working on yourself and achieving new results.
It is recommended to become realistic. It is important to understand that a person cannot be perfect always and in everything.
In your activities, you should take into account not only your own satisfaction from the work done, but also the opinion of others.
It's important to allow yourself to make mistakes. Wrong decisions are not a disaster, but only a lesson for the future. You should also remember about personal responsibility for all consequences.
It is not recommended to compare yourself with others, to reason, good or bad person works near you.

High self-esteem makes a person arrogant, confident that the people around him owe him something. The individual makes inadequate conclusions about himself, overestimating his own significance. Any deviation from adequate self-esteem is a problem for a person. It is always important to soberly assess yourself, your potential.

The cause of many problems in life is inadequate self-esteem - overestimated or underestimated.

Success in life depends a lot on self-esteem. The way a person treats himself, how he evaluates his abilities and what place he assigns to himself in society, affects his goals in life, and the results he achieves.

Heightened self-esteem

A person with this type of perception of his personality tends to exaggerate his own merits and successes. This is sometimes accompanied by the tendency to play down the abilities of others.

Such a person usually considers his success solely his own merit, and underestimates the role of external factors. But he blames circumstances or other people for failures, but not himself. He reacts painfully to and is ready to aggressively defend his position.

The main desire of people with an exaggerated assessment of their own "I" is to protect themselves from failure at any cost and to prove their own innocence in everything. But often, this behavior is a reaction to an underlying sense of inferiority.

The result of too high self-esteem is difficulties in communicating with others and problems with self-realization. As for the first, few people want to communicate with a person who does not consider the interests of others or allows himself to speak arrogantly. And problems with self-realization can arise for two reasons. On the one hand, people who overestimate themselves avoid goals, in their ability to achieve which they are not 100% sure, for fear of not being up to par. As a result, they deprive themselves of many chances in life. On the other hand, unreasonable self-confidence often forces them to set themselves unattainable tasks. Failures cannot be analyzed, and they end up wasting time and energy.

If you notice that people treat you coldly, and you have more ill-wishers than friends, observe your manner of communication. Perhaps the problem is your high self-esteem. Learn to treat people with respect, avoid disparaging others, listen to their needs, and try to do something nice for the other person. Most likely, nothing will remain from the hostile attitude of others to your person.

Low self-esteem

Such people play down their worth and abilities. They explain their own achievements by chance, the help of another person, luck, and only in the last place - by their own efforts. If a person speaks for a reason, but firmly believes in it, this is not modesty, but a sign of low self-esteem. They react to compliments in their address with distrust or even aggressive rejection.

A person with low self-esteem always doubts himself, therefore he also has problems with self-realization. He chooses only those goals that are obviously easy to achieve. But often this is much lower than its real capabilities. It is not surprising that his academic success, personal life, and career are very mediocre, but he is inclined to explain this by external circumstances.

If low self-esteem is about you, try to increase it with auto-training. Remind yourself of your virtues every day. Aloud and mentally repeat positive attitudes about how talented, beautiful, wonderful, etc. you are. human.

You can use the principle of comparison and competition: if someone succeeds, then you will succeed, because you are no worse. In "difficult" cases, you can try to compare yourself with someone who does it worse than you, and remember your own attitude that you are "not worse than others, but somewhere in between."

As you can see, any distorted (overestimated or underestimated) can seriously ruin a person's life. There is a lot of literature available today, with the help of which anyone can learn to adjust their internal attitudes and patterns using special exercises and techniques. This will improve the quality of your life.

Today we will talk about how they differ high and low self-esteem... After reading this article, you will find out what it is personality self-esteem, what it is for, what main functions it performs, what are the main signs and reasons for low and high self-esteem, and a lot of other interesting and useful information on this topic. All this will be necessary for us in order to consider in the next article how to raise self-esteem and self-confidence. So, first things first.

What is personality self-esteem?

Let's start with a definition. Self-esteem is a person's opinion about himself, about his own personality, its advantages and disadvantages, about his physical capabilities and spiritual qualities, about his abilities and skills, about his appearance, comparing himself with other people, understanding himself against the background of others.

V modern world adequate self-esteem and self-confidence is one of the key factors in any business.

If a person does not have self-confidence, he will not be able to convince the interlocutor of something, he will not be able to lead other people, therefore, in general, it will be much more difficult for him to follow the intended path.

Self-esteem of a person plays a huge role in human development and achievement. Without adequate self-esteem, a person is unlikely to achieve success in business, build a career, be happy in his personal life, and generally achieve something.

Self-assessment functions.

Psychologists identify 3 main functions of personality self-esteem:

Protective function. Self-esteem of a person forms the degree of a person's independence from someone else's opinion, and self-confidence makes it possible to feel relatively protected from the influence of any external unfavorable factors.
Regulatory function. Self-esteem gives a person the opportunity to make choices and regulate their life path: to set themselves and follow their own, and not someone else's, goals.
Developing function. Thanks to self-esteem, a person develops and improves, since it acts as a kind of motivating factor for.

Low, high and high self-esteem.

You can often hear such expressions as “adequate self-esteem”, “low or low self-esteem”, “high self-esteem”, “high self-esteem”. Let's see what they mean in simple words.

Low self-esteem (low self-esteem)- this is giving yourself, your personality, lower ratings and characteristics than they really are.

Heightened self-esteem- This is the perception of one's own personality at a higher level in comparison with reality.

Respectively, adequate, ideal, high self-esteem- this is the most objective and real assessment of one's own personality, the perception of it as it is: no better, and no worse.

Both underestimated and overestimated self-esteem prevent a person from developing, only it manifests itself in different ways. In fact, there are very few people with adequate, high (but not overestimated!) Self-esteem. Numerous studies of psychologists have proven that most often people have just low self-esteem, which is one of the most serious reasons for their life failures. Including, in relation to the topic of the site Financial genius - and low level... Therefore, for people who have it underestimated, it is very important to think about increasing self-esteem, and not just think, but start acting in this direction.

Signs of low self-esteem.

Since it is always difficult for a person to objectively assess himself, let's look at the characteristic signs that indicate that he has low self-esteem.

Constant dissatisfaction with oneself, one's work, family, life in general;
Constant self-criticism and self-examination;
Increased sensitivity to criticism and comments from other people, strong reaction to criticism;
Strong dependence on the opinions of others;
The desire to act in accordance with common stereotypes, the search for approval from others, the desire to please everyone, the desire to justify their actions in front of others;
Indecision, fear of making mistakes, severe frustration and anxiety after making a mistake;
Strong feeling of jealousy, especially for no reason;
A strong sense of envy of successes, achievements, the lives of other people;
Constant grievances, incl. for nothing;
Dissatisfaction with your appearance;
A hostile attitude towards the outside world (everyone around is enemies);
A constant sense of fear and a defensive attitude;
Pronounced pessimistic attitude.

The more of these signs you find in yourself, the more you should think about how to raise your self-esteem and gain self-confidence.

Problems and difficulties arise in the life of absolutely any person, but the difference in their perception is important. A person with low self-esteem perceives all temporary problems as permanent, as his “hard fate”, and therefore always has a negative and pessimistic attitude. As a result, all of this can even lead to serious mental disorders. While a person with adequate self-esteem seeks to overcome the difficulties that arise and, doing everything possible for this.

Why do you need high self-esteem?

Now let's dwell once again on why adequate, high self-esteem is so important. Many people have a stereotypical opinion that high self-esteem is bad, that you need to “know your place and sit, keep your head down”. And such a belief, by the way, is also one of the signs of low self-esteem.

In fact, low self-esteem of a person gives rise to very problems, becomes the cause of the development of complexes and even mental disorders, and most importantly, it very much interferes with a person's development and moving forward. Simply because he is not sure that he will be able to go through any specific steps. Such people “go with the flow,” and the main thing for them is that no one touches them.

High self-esteem, on the contrary, opens the way to achievements, to new heights, new areas of activity.

There is another important point: if a person has low self-esteem, other people will never rate him highly (and this is important for him, as you remember!). While a person with high self-esteem is always known and respected, his opinion is appreciated and heeded.

People will begin to appreciate and respect you only when you have adequate high self-esteem and self-confidence. Believe in yourself and then others will believe in you!

Signs of high self-esteem.

Now, by analogy, let's highlight the main signs that you have high self-esteem, you were able to raise it, or it was (in this case, you are great!).

You are always confident in yourself, your strengths and capabilities;
You accept yourself as you are;
You are not afraid to make mistakes, you learn from them, perceive them as an experience, and move on;
You are calm when criticized, distinguish between constructive and destructive criticism;
You easily come into contact and find a common language with different people, are not afraid of communication;
You always have your own point of view on any issues;
You strive for self-development and self-improvement;
You tend to be successful in your endeavors.

Reasons for low self-esteem.

To talk about how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence, it is also necessary to know the reasons for low self-esteem, since eliminating the cause is more effective than dealing with the consequences. Interestingly, these reasons can be of a very different nature, ranging from genetic predisposition to the social environment, the conditions in which a person grows and develops. Let's take a look at them.

Reason 1. Wrong upbringing. Parents raised many people only with a "whip", constantly scolding, comparing not in better side with other children. Naturally, such a child develops low self-esteem from childhood: he cannot do anything, he is bad, he is a loser, others are better.

Reason 2. A series of failures or psychological trauma. It happens that a person often has setbacks, and especially when there are many of them, and they follow a sequence, he begins to perceive this as a pattern, his own weakness, his own powerlessness. Or it may be one, but a very significant event, which psychologists call "psychological trauma." This is especially pronounced, again, in children and adolescents (namely, at an early age, the self-esteem of the individual is predominantly formed). Accordingly, a person develops a low self-esteem: he cannot be confident in himself and “programs” himself in advance for failure.

Reason 3. Lack of life goals. A very serious reason for low self-esteem. If a person lacks clearly expressed ones, he has nothing to strive for, there is no need to develop. Such a person leads a passive lifestyle, not developing his personal qualities in any way. He does not dream, does not care about his appearance and his well-being, and such a person often has not just low self-esteem, but generally absent.

Reason 4. Environment and social environment. The formation of self-esteem of a person is greatly influenced by the environment and the environment in which a person is. If he grows and develops among amorphous people without goals, going with the flow, he will most likely be the same, low self-esteem is provided for him. But if he is surrounded by ambitious, constantly developing and successful people who are good role models, the person will strive to keep up with them, and he will sooner form an adequate, high self-esteem.

Reason 5. Appearance or health problems. And finally, another significant reason for low self-esteem is the presence of certain defects in appearance or visible health problems ( excess weight, low vision, etc.). Again, from an early age, such people can be ridiculed and insulted, so they often develop low self-esteem, which interferes with throughout adulthood.

Now you have a certain idea of what self-esteem is, how low and high self-esteem differ, what are their signs and causes. And in the next article we will talk about how to raise your self-esteem if it is underestimated.

Stay tuned! Until next time!

In my practice, I constantly face the question that clients ask me: "Why do people treat me this way, what is wrong with my self-esteem?" First, let's figure out what self-esteem is in principle. This is an assessment of yourself, your strengths and weaknesses. Self-esteem happens:

Underestimated - underestimation of one's own strength;
Overestimated - overestimation of one's own strength;
Normal - an adequate assessment of oneself, one's own strengths in certain life situations, in setting one's goals and objectives, an adequate perception of the world, in communicating with people.

What are the signs of low self-esteem?

1. Attitude of others as an indicator. As a person relates to himself, so others relate to him. If he does not love himself, does not respect and does not appreciate, then he is faced with the same attitude of people towards himself.

2. Inability to manage your own life. A person believes that he will not cope with something, cannot make a decision, hesitates, thinks that nothing depends on him in this life, but depends on circumstances, other people, the state. Doubting his capabilities and powers, he either does nothing at all, or shifts the responsibility for the choice onto others.

3. A tendency to accuse others or self-flagellation. Such people do not know how to take responsibility for their lives. When it suits them, they engage in self-flagellation so that they can be pitied. And if they want not pity, but self-justification, then they blame others for everything.

4. Striving to be good, to please, to please, to adapt to another person to the detriment of oneself and one's personal desires.

5. Frequent claims to others. Some people with low self-esteem tend to complain about others, constantly blame them, thereby removing responsibility for failures from themselves. After all, it is not for nothing that they say that the best defense is an attack.

6 . Focusing on your weaknesses, not your strengths. In particular, being overly critical of one's appearance. A sign of low self-esteem is picky about your appearance, constant dissatisfaction with your figure, eye color, height and body in general.

7. Permanent nervousness, groundless aggression. And vice versa - apathy and depressive states from the loss of oneself, the meaning of life, a failure that has occurred, criticism from the outside, an unsuccessful exam (interview), etc.

8. Loneliness or vice versa - fear of loneliness. Quarrels in relationships, excessive jealousy, as a result of the thought: "You cannot love someone like me."

9. The development of addictions, addictions as a way of temporary escape from reality.

10. Strong dependence on the opinions of other people. Inability to refuse. Painful reaction to criticism. Absence / suppression of one's own desires.

11. Closure, isolation from people. Feelings of self-pity. Inability to accept compliments. The constant state of the victim. As the saying goes, the victim will always find an executioner.

12. Heightened sense of guilt. He tries on critical situations for himself, not sharing his guilt and the role of the prevailing circumstances. Any disassembly takes in relation to himself as the culprit of the situation, because this will be the "best" confirmation of his inferiority.

How does high self-esteem manifest itself?

1. Arrogance. A person puts himself above others: "I am better than them." Constant rivalry as a way to prove it, "protruding" to show one's merits.

2. Closure as one of the manifestations of arrogance and a reflection of the thought that others are below him in status, intelligence and other qualities.

3. Self-confidence and constant proof of this as the "salt" of life. The last word should always remain with him. The desire to control the situation, to play a dominant role. Everything should be done as he sees fit, others should dance to his "tune".

4. Setting overestimated goals. If they are not achieved, frustration sets in. A person suffers, falls into depression, apathy, spreads rot on himself.

5. Inability to admit mistakes, apologize, ask for forgiveness, lose. Fear of evaluation.

6. Painful reaction to criticism.

7. Fear of making a mistake, seeming weak, defenseless, insecure.

8. The inability to ask for help as a reflection of the fear of appearing defenseless. If he asks for help, this is more like a demand, an order.

9. Accentuation only on yourself. He puts his own interests and hobbies first.
The desire to teach the life of others, to "poke" them into the mistakes they have made and to show how it should be by the example of oneself. Self-affirmation at the expense of others. Boastfulness. Excessive familiarity.

10. Arrogance.

11. The prevalence of the pronoun "I" in speech. He talks more in conversations than happens. Interrupts interlocutors.

For what reasons can self-esteem failures occur?

Childhood Injuries, the causes of which can be any event significant for the child, and there are a huge number of sources.

Oedipus period... Age from 3 to 6-7 years old. On an unconscious level, the child acts out a partnership with his parent of the opposite sex. And the way the parent behaves will affect the child's self-esteem and his building a scenario of relationships with the opposite sex in the future.

Teenage years... Age 13 to 17-18. The teenager is looking for himself, trying on masks and roles, building his life path. He tries to find himself, asking the question: "Who am I?"

Defined attitudes towards children from significant adults(lack of affection, love, attention), as a result of which children may begin to feel unnecessary, unimportant, unloved, unrecognized, etc.

Some patterns of parenting behavior, which subsequently passes to children and becomes already their behavior in life. For example, the parents themselves have low self-esteem, when the same projections are superimposed on the child.

The only child in the family when all attention is focused on him, everything is only for him, when there is an inadequate assessment of his abilities by his parents. From here comes the overestimated self-esteem, when the child cannot adequately assess his strength and abilities. He begins to believe that the whole world is only for him, everyone owes him, there is an accentuation only on himself, the cultivation of egoism.

Low assessment by the parents and family of the child, his abilities and actions. The child is not yet able to evaluate himself and form an opinion about himself according to the assessment of people who are significant to him (parents, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles, etc.). As a result, the child builds up low self-esteem.

Constant criticism of the child leads to low self-esteem, low self-esteem and closeness. In the absence of approval of creative endeavors, admiration for them, the child feels unrecognized for his abilities. If this is followed by constant criticism and abuse, then he refuses to create anything, create, and therefore develop.

Excessive demands on the child can foster both high and low self-esteem. Often, parents want to see their child the way they would like to see themselves. They impose their fate on it, building projections of their goals on it, which they did not manage to achieve on their own. But behind this, the parents cease to see the child as a person, starting to see only their own projections, roughly speaking, of themselves, their ideal selves. The child is sure: "For my parents to love me, I must be the way they want me to be." He forgets about himself in the present and can either successfully or unsuccessfully meet parental requirements.

Comparison with other good kids lowers self-esteem. Conversely, the desire to please parents inflates self-esteem in pursuit and competition with others. Then other children are not friends, but rivals, and I must / should be better than others.

Hyper-care, excessive taking of responsibility for the child in making decisions for him, down to who to be friends with, what to wear, when and what to do. As a result, the child ceases to grow I, he does not know what he wants, does not know who he is, does not understand his needs, abilities, desires. Thus, parents cultivate in him a lack of independence and, as a consequence, low self-esteem (up to the loss of the meaning of life).

The desire to be like a parent, which can be both natural and forced, when the child is constantly told: "Your parents have achieved so much, you must be like them, you have no right to fall face down in the mud." There is a fear of stumbling, making a mistake, not being ideal, as a result of which self-esteem may be underestimated, and initiative may be completely killed.

Above, I have given some of the common reasons why self-esteem problems arise. It should be added that the line between the two "poles" of self-esteem can be quite thin. For example, overestimating oneself can be a compensatory-protective function of underestimating one's strengths and capabilities.

As you may have already figured out, most of the problems in adulthood stem from childhood. The child's behavior, his attitude towards himself and the attitude towards him from the peers and adults around him build certain strategies in life. Childhood behavior carries over into adulthood with all its defense mechanisms.

Ultimately, whole life scenarios of adult life are built. And this happens so organically and imperceptibly for ourselves that we do not always understand why certain situations happen to us, why people behave with us this way. We feel unnecessary, unimportant, unloved, we feel that we are not appreciated, we are hurt and hurt by this, we suffer. All this manifests itself in relationships with close and dear people, colleagues and bosses, the opposite sex, society as a whole.

It is logical that both low and overestimated self-esteem are not the norm. Such states cannot make you a truly happy person. Therefore, it is necessary to do something about the current situation. If you yourself feel that it is time to change something, that you would like something in your life to become different, then the time has come.

How to deal with low self-esteem?

1. Make a list of your qualities, strengths, and virtues that you like about yourself or that your loved ones like. If you don't know, ask them about it. In this way, you will begin to see the positive aspects of your personality in yourself, thereby starting to cultivate self-esteem.

2. Make a list of the things you enjoy. If possible, start performing them for yourself. By doing this, you will cultivate love and concern for yourself.

3. Make a list of your desires and goals and move in this direction. Exercising will tone up, lift your mood, and allow you to show quality care for your body, which you are so unhappy with. At the same time, negative emotions are released, which were accumulated and did not have the opportunity to exit. And, of course, you will have objectively less time and energy left for self-flagellation.

4. An accomplishment diary can also boost your self-esteem. If every time you write down your biggest and smallest victories in it.

5. Make a list of the qualities that you would like to develop in yourself. Develop them with the help of various techniques and meditations, of which there are now plenty of both on the Internet and offline.

6. Communicate more with those whom you admire, who understand you, from communication with whom "wings grow". At the same time, minimize to the possible level contacts with those who criticize, humiliate, etc.

The scheme of work with high self-esteem

1. First you need to understand that each person is unique in their own way, everyone has the right to their point of view.

2. Learn not only to listen, but also to hear people. After all, something is also important to them, they have their own desires and dreams.

3. When caring for others, do it based on their needs, not on what you think is right. For example, you came to a cafe, your interlocutor wants coffee, and you think that tea will be healthier. Do not impose your tastes and opinions on him.

4. Allow yourself to make mistakes and blunders. This provides a real basis for self-improvement and a valuable experience with which people become wiser and stronger.

5. Stop arguing with others and proving your case. You may not know yet, but in many situations, everyone can be right in their own way.

6. Do not get depressed if you have not been able to achieve the desired result. Better analyze the situation in terms of why it happened, what you did wrong, what is the reason for the failure.
Learn adequate self-criticism (yourself, your actions, decisions).

7. Stop competing with others for any reason. Sometimes it looks extremely silly.
Extend your merits as little as possible, thereby underestimating others. The objective dignity of a person does not need a vivid demonstration - they are seen by actions.

There is one law that helps me a lot in my life and in working with clients:

To be. Make. Have

What does it mean?

"To have" is a goal, a desire, a dream. This is the result that you want to see in your life.

"Doing" means strategies, tasks, behavior, actions. These are the actions that lead to the desired result.

"To be" is your sense of yourself. Who are you within yourself, for real, and not for others? Who do you feel like.

In my practice, I like to work with the "being of a person", with what is happening inside him. Then "to do" and "to have" will come by themselves, organically forming into the picture that a person wants to see, into that life that satisfies him and allows him to feel happy. It is much more effective to work with the cause, and not with the effect. Eliminating the root of the problem, what creates and attracts such problems, rather than alleviating the current state, makes it possible to really fix the situation.

In addition, not always and not everyone is aware of the problem, it can sit deep in the unconscious. Working in this way is necessary in order to return a person to himself, to his unique values and resources, his strength, his own life path and understanding of this path. Without this, self-realization in society and in the family is impossible. For this reason, I believe that the optimal way for a person to interact with himself is therapy "being" rather than "action". This is not only effective, but also the safest, shortest path.

You were given two options: "to do" and "to be", and everyone has the right to choose for himself which way to go. Find a way to yourself. Not what society dictates to you, but to yourself - unique, real, integral. How you will do this, I do not know. But I am sure that you will find in what way it will be better in your case. I have found this in personal therapy and have successfully applied it in certain therapeutic techniques for rapid personality change and transformation. Thanks to this, I found myself, my path, my vocation.

Good luck in your endeavors!

Respectfully yours, consultant psychologist
Drazhevskaya Irina

When we talk about high self-esteem, some comparison with something reference is necessarily assumed. But psychology is not an exact science. And if so, then it is fair to talk about an adequate or inadequate self-esteem of a person.

It is rather difficult to unequivocally assess human behavior. It is necessary to know all the prerequisites that induce certain thoughts and actions, which is impossible. The division into "good" and "bad" itself presupposes a value judgment.

It is the duality of perception that makes it difficult to make an objective assessment. For this reason, the object of study in psychology is a person. His feelings, thoughts, experiences, behavior. In this context, the level of self-esteem is difficult to overestimate.

High self-esteem, like two sides of the same coin:

Positive side... High self-esteem is faith in yourself, in your own strength. Self-esteem. Without respecting yourself, it is difficult to learn to respect others. The vast majority of successful people respect themselves, know their strengths and weaknesses. Perfectly imagine and their weaknesses. This knowledge makes them even more resilient in stressful situations and allows them to move further along the path of their improvement.
Negative side... On the other hand, blindly believing in his own strength, a person can quickly lose the adequacy of the perception of reality. A reckless driver or a gambling addict are prominent representatives of people with excessively high self-confidence and belief in luck and success. It is the overestimated self-esteem and inadequate self-confidence that is the cause of the illusions that inevitably collapse, mentally exhausting the person.

Of course, high self-esteem is important for the harmonious development of a personality. Three levels can be distinguished in the assessment of people themselves:

Underestimated- prefers to take on tasks that are objectively below his knowledge and abilities. Copes much faster than the allotted time.
Overpriced- tasks that a person traditionally undertakes are significantly superior to his skills. Constantly fails to cope with the assigned tasks.
Adequate- a person with a high probability chooses tasks that most closely correspond to experience and knowledge.

Speaking of high self-esteem, we mean an adequate level of self-perception, where one's capabilities and strengths are fairly accurately assessed. A person is able to take adequate risks, overcoming which increases intrinsic motivation.

Overestimated self-esteem is characterized by constant time pressure, breakdown of obligations, and constant blaming others, but not oneself, for failures. Low self-esteem, on the other hand, is a direct road to self-deprecation. Obviously, overestimated and underestimated self-esteem are inadequate.

Now, in summary, we can distinguish between the existence of high and overestimated self-esteem. Obviously, high self-esteem is good, and high self-esteem is bad. Possibly bad for others. But, first of all - for the owner of such an assessment about himself.

It prevents a person from looking at himself honestly and accepting himself as he is. And without this, inner growth and human happiness are impossible.

Signs

A person who evaluates himself objectively has the following features that distinguish a high level of self-esteem:

respects himself, his inner freedom;
respects the freedom of others;
does not follow the lead of generally accepted rules that contradict his understanding of common sense and honesty;
thinks and acts proactively;
ready to help, but not imposed;
can easily ask for help if needed;
is able to set goals for himself and achieve them;
realizing his strengths and weaknesses, he perfectly understands how to inspire others to accomplishments;
able to lead people.

A person with high self-esteem immediately stands out among people. His inherent proactive thinking helps to shape himself as a leader. First of all, a leader for himself, and then for others.

Do you need to deal with overconfidence

If it delivers unnecessary trouble, then it is necessary. Overconfidence, by definition, implies a very frequent breakdown of commitments or the constant assumption of excessive risks, which can be fraught with serious consequences for many people.

Naturally, sooner or later, the question will arise of adjusting such self-confidence and bringing it to an adequate level. Is it possible?

The question is who is the target of the consequences of overconfidence. If a person with an overestimated self-esteem suffers from this, then it is quite possible to lower the level to an adequate one. Moreover, there is his desire for this.

Analyze every failure on the subject of "guilty". Every time the temptation is great to "appoint" the person responsible for mistakes. Assess your personal contribution to failure.
List your pros and cons on a sheet of paper in two columns.... Study each plus carefully and critically. Perhaps he is greatly exaggerated.
Analyze your strengths critically for real availability. It may turn out that a number of qualities attributed to the side of the strengths, in fact, are not. Moreover, they can be rude and aggressive manifestation weaknesses.
Get ready to face yourself... According to Carl Gustav Jung, such a meeting is the most important for each of us. At the same time, we fear it most of all. It takes a certain amount of courage.

Often, overestimated self-esteem dresses up in an understated dress. A striking example of the manifestation of false low self-esteem: a man complains that beautiful women do not pay attention to him.

The position of the victim, which often goes along with the inflated self-esteem, gives her the appearance of understated. A man with a truly low self-esteem would not even think that he is worthy of the attention of beautiful girls.

How to bring up adequate self-esteem in a child

In raising children, the first five years of life are the most important. The foundation is being laid for the ability to independently correct their behavior already in adulthood.

Before continuing the discussion about the education of an adolescent with adequate self-esteem, it is worth thinking about the etymology of the word “self-esteem”. Parents are well aware of the importance of a healthy assessment by their children of the seed themselves, but too often they do the opposite.

Self-esteem means self-assessment of your actions and their consequences. And mothers and fathers are in too much of a hurry to assess the actions of their son or daughter, which has a detrimental effect on the healthy development of the child's psyche. Truly, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Let your child be on their own reap the benefits of your decisions and actions. Of course, as long as there is no threat to life or the risk of serious material costs. The result is that the child learns to make decisions on his own and take responsibility for his actions and shift them to elders.
If you are annoyed by certain points in behavior children, do not be silent. Tell your child about it. But in any case, do not evaluate the act and, even more so, the child himself. Only talk about your feelings. “I-send” instead of “you-send”. The result is that the child understands the level of negative consequences of his act without “turning on” protective reactions.

Just two small and uncomplicated rules. But by constantly adhering to them, you will not only help the child to form into strong personality with adequate reactions, but also build great relationships in the family.

Video: Secrets of a Happy Relationship - High Self-Esteem

The cause of many problems in life is inadequate self-esteem - overestimated or underestimated.

Heightened self-esteem

A person with this type of perception of his personality tends to exaggerate his own merits and successes. This is sometimes accompanied by the tendency to play down the abilities of others.

Low self-esteem

Is overestimated self-esteem a guarantee of failure? Or the path to success? Everyone thinks differently, however, it is not within our competence to judge someone, the main thing is to figure out how an overestimated self-esteem affects life, on relationships with people. And in general, what is hidden behind it?

You need to start by defining what self-esteem is in general. So, a man of his abilities, skills and abilities. It follows from the definition that the vision of oneself can differ, because everyone has their own view of things happening.

Based on the works of psychologists, we conclude that self-esteem is an integral part of personality formation, because it develops and grows stiff with self-awareness. But it should be noted that our opinion of ourselves can be, on the one hand, adequate - normal, average, on the other hand, inadequate - overestimated and underestimated self-esteem. Let's analyze it in order.

Adequate, whatever it may be, is considered the norm, because a person soberly looks at what he is doing, what he strives for and what he is generally capable of. These three levels can transform into each other, which depends only on our efforts. Self-esteem is an indicator of our achievements and relationships with the outside world.

So, if the level is low, then the person is not confident in his abilities, does not find himself happy, tries not to stand out from the crowd, considering his character and his life boring and uninteresting. But such a person can still make efforts in order to achieve something, and after success, the level of self-esteem is likely to change.

People with average and high self-esteem are more inclined to an optimistic outlook on life, more often than not they are confident in their abilities, but sometimes, especially after failures, from which no one is immune, they can be discouraged. In relations with other individuals, most of them do not show negativity, however, they do not seek to please everyone, therefore they do not curry favor and do not impose their communication.

If we analyze low self-esteem, then there is low self-esteem, which comes to self-flagellation. Such individuals tend to feel sorry for themselves, blame fate for all problems, without trying to find the reasons inside. Self-analysis for them is limited to self-criticism, but at the same time the search for any ways to improve their position is not carried out.

Inflated self-esteem, paradoxically, is often just a mask. In general, such an assessment of oneself and one's behavior, when other people are seen only in the worst light, and one's own person is in the first place; when the confidence that you know everything better than even the most competent specialists is unnatural for a person.

Often such people hide. As you know, the best defense is an attack, so they praise themselves in all sorts of ways so that no one would guess about their true fears.

It is believed that it is more difficult to change a person who has high self-esteem, since he does not listen to any advice, believing that he knows everything better than many. It is pointless to enter into an argument, therefore they will never look from the outside at their behavior. As psychologists say, self-esteem is something that comes from childhood. In this case, the parents overdid it, presenting their child as the best, comparing it with other children, who are supposedly worse.

Defeating low and low self-esteem is quite possible. It is enough to conduct a few trainings. For example, write on a piece of paper all your achievements, for which you at least for a short time were visited by a feeling of pride. Be sure to stop all attempts to compare with other people, be aware of your individuality. And stop criticizing yourself for any reason, learn to forgive minor flaws (they did not pass the project on time - it happens to everyone, but, for example, they do what they love). By the way, a hobby helps a lot to raise self-esteem - scientifically proven.

So, we figured out what self-esteem is, described its main types. After reading the article, I would like you to honestly classify yourself in any category and, if necessary, work on yourself, because healthy self-esteem is the key to success.

In psychology, such a concept as self-esteem is actively used. It affects human behavior, decision-making in various situations, attitude towards the world and oneself. There are several types of self-esteem, among which the overestimated is the most acceptable. It is better to show signs of high self-esteem than low self-esteem. What are the reasons for its appearance?

What is self-esteem? This is a person's assessment of himself. The most surprising thing is that some types of self-esteem are based on the assessment of the individual himself, while others are based on the assessment that others give. Thus, self-esteem is how a person sees himself. What this opinion is based on already affects what kind of self-esteem a person develops.

There are the following types of self-esteem:

“I +, You +” is a stable self-esteem, which is based on a positive attitude towards others and oneself.
“I-, you +” - in which a person displays such a quality as self-flagellation. The person feels worse, lower and more unhappy than others.
"I +, you-" - overestimated self-esteem, based on the search for flaws, hatred of others and confirmation of the position that the people around are bad. Usually such a person blames everyone except himself, and considers those around him "goats", "idiots" and other names.

A person is not born with self-esteem. It forms throughout life. Often it becomes the same as it was with the parents, which is explained by those qualities of character and the attitude that a person adopts from his mother and father.

It is believed that it is better to have an overestimated than an underestimated self-esteem. Such self-esteem really has its advantages, which should be discussed on the site. psychological assistance site.

What is high self-esteem?

What is high self-esteem? It means an overestimation of one's own potential by an individual. In other words, a person thinks of himself better than he really is. That is why they say that people with high self-esteem are often out of touch with reality. They assess themselves biasedly, most often they notice shortcomings in others, rather than advantages. To some extent, this can be associated with the individual's unwillingness to see the good in others, against the background of which they will notice their own shortcomings.

Overestimated self-esteem means to see only advantages in oneself, ignoring disadvantages. At the same time, other people seem weak, stupid, underdeveloped. That is, a person sees only other people's shortcomings, not paying attention to the existing advantages.

However, not everything is so unambiguous with overestimated self-esteem. Its appeal lies in the fact that a person with such self-esteem has absolute self-confidence. He does not doubt himself, does not humiliate, does not suppress. He is confident in his own abilities - this is the positive side of overestimated self-esteem.

The negative side can be:

Disregard of other people's opinions and interests of others.
Overestimation of one's own strengths.

It is noted that overestimated self-esteem, as well as underestimated, can plunge a person into a depressive state. This happens when multiple failures occur. A depressive state can be described as "I-, you-", that is, a person sees the bad in himself and in others.

Signs of high self-esteem

High self-esteem can be easily identified by its characteristic features. The most remarkable thing that catches your eye is that a person rises above those around him. This can happen either by his will or because people themselves put him on a pedestal. Inflated self-esteem is an attitude towards oneself as to God, a king, a leader, and the vision of others as insignificant, unworthy people.

Other signs of high self-esteem are:

Self-righteousness, despite the fact that evidence and arguments can be given to confirm the opposite point.
The conviction in the existence of only the only correct point of view - his personal. A person cannot even agree that there may be a different opinion, especially if it is the opposite. Even if he suddenly accepts someone else's point of view, he will definitely consider it wrong.
Leaving the last word for yourself. A person is sure that it is he who must draw conclusions and determine what to do next and how things are going.
Inability to apologize and ask for forgiveness.
Conviction that other people are guilty and the environment in their own troubles. If something doesn't work out, other people are to blame. If an individual achieves success, then it is all thanks to him.
Constant rivalry with others for the right to be called the best.
Striving to be perfect and not make mistakes.
Expressing your opinion even when not asked. The person is sure that other people always want to hear his opinion.
Frequent use of the pronoun "I".
The onset of irritability and feeling "unsettled" with the onset of failures and misses.
Disdainful attitude towards other people's criticism. A person believes that criticism is disrespectful towards him, therefore he does not pay attention to it.
Inability to calculate risks. A person is always ready to take on difficult and risky business.
Fear of appearing weak, insecure, defenseless in front of others.
Excessive selfishness.
Personal interests and hobbies that always come first.
A tendency to interrupt because he prefers to talk more than listen.
A tendency to teach others, even when it comes to a little thing. This happens even when he is not asked to teach anything.
The tone of an arrogant nature, and the requests are commanding.
Striving to be the best and the best in everything, the first. Otherwise, he becomes depressed.

People with high self-esteem

It is easy enough to identify people with high self-esteem by their arrogant and arrogant behavior. Deep down, they can feel loneliness and melancholy, dissatisfaction with themselves. However, on the outside, they always try to be on top. More often they are not the best, but they always perceive themselves as such and strive to seem to be. At the same time, they can treat others arrogantly, defiantly, arrogantly.

If you communicate with a person with high self-esteem, then you can trace one line - he is good, and other people are bad. And this happens all the time. A person with an overestimation of himself sees in himself only dignity. And when it comes to others, here he is ready to talk only about their shortcomings and weaknesses. If the conversation begins to go in the direction that others are good, and he turns out to be bad in something, then he falls into or aggression.

Thus, criticism against them always provokes negative emotions. They begin to have a negative attitude towards those who criticize them.

The only thing they expect from others is confirmation of the position that they are superior in everything. This happens through praise, approval, admiration and other manifestations addressed to people with high self-esteem.

Reasons for high self-esteem

Self-esteem begins to form from childhood, so the reasons for its overestimation can be found in improper upbringing. High self-esteem is the result of the behavior of parents who constantly admire, are touched and indulge their child in everything. Whatever he does, everything is right. Whatever it is, everything is good in it. As a result, the child develops an opinion about his own “I” as absolutely ideal and perfect.

A girl's overestimated self-esteem is often hypertrophied when she is forced to take her place in the male world. Often it is based on external data: beauties always overestimate themselves, rather than beauties.

In men, overestimated self-esteem is formed on the belief that they are the center of the universe. If this is confirmed by the behavior of other people, especially women, then self-esteem grows. Such men are often narcissists.

There are much more people with high self-esteem among men than among women, which psychologists associate with the norms of upbringing of both sexes.

Inflated and low self-esteem

The opposite of high self-esteem is low self-esteem. Self-esteem is an internal assessment of a person of himself, his potential, life position and social status. This affects how he will live, relate to himself and others.

Overestimated self-esteem is characterized by an incorrect assessment of oneself in the direction of elevation. A person does not see himself as real, but assesses a contrived image. He considers himself better than others in everything. He idealizes his potential and external data. It seems to a person that his life should be better than others. That is why he is ready to go over the heads of even friends and family.
Low self-esteem is also a consequence of improper upbringing, however, when parents constantly insisted that the child is bad and other children are better than him. It is characterized by a negative assessment of oneself and one's potential. Often it is based on the opinions of others or on self-hypnosis.

Overestimated and underestimated self-esteem are extremes when a person does not see the real state of affairs.

That is why it is proposed to remove distortions in your character. For example, overestimated self-esteem is suggested to be removed by the following methods:

Listen to someone else's opinion and consider it correct too.
Listen to others in silence.
See your own shortcomings, which are often hidden behind the screen of overestimated self-esteem.

Inflated self-esteem in a child

The formation of overestimated self-esteem in a child begins from childhood, when the child obeys parental upbringing. It is formed on the behavior of parents who admire any little things that the baby shows - his mind, quick wits, the first step, etc. Parents seem to ignore his shortcomings, never punish, but always encourage him in everything.

The inability of the child to see behind himself the shortcomings leads to a lack of socialization. When he finds himself in a peer group, he cannot understand why he is not admired, as his parents did. Among other children, he is "one of", not "the most". This can cause aggression towards children, who may be better than him in some way.

As a result, the child has many difficulties in establishing contacts with others. He does not want to lower his self-esteem, while being aggressive towards everyone who seems better than him or criticizes him.

In order not to develop overestimated self-esteem in a child, parents should understand when and for what to praise him:

You can praise for the actions that the kid himself has done.
Not praised for beauty, toys, clothes, etc.
Not praised for everything, even the smallest.
Don't be praised for feeling pity or wanting to be liked.

Outcome

All people have self-esteem. In terms of frequency of distribution, overestimated self-esteem is in second place. It seems that it is better to have her than low self-esteem. However, often the result of an inadequate overestimated self-esteem is a sharp transition to an underestimated one.

Self-esteem is a component of self-awareness. A person evaluates himself, his place among others, abilities. It can be adequate, average, overestimated, underestimated and low. Her level, in the opinion, is primarily influenced by family education. Self-esteem is not formed from birth. It is influenced by upbringing, the character of the parents. Overestimated self-esteem is an overestimation of one's own potential by a person. It is often said about such people that they are out of touch with reality. Low self-esteem is characterized by a negative attitude towards oneself. Such a person pays increased attention to shortcomings, while he knows little about his own merits.

Adequate self-esteem and level of aspiration

Self-esteem forms a person's self-awareness. It has two components:

Cognitive. It reflects information about oneself that a person has received;
Emotional. The component expresses the individual's attitude to himself (character, habits).

The psychologist from the USA W. James created the following formula: Self-esteem = Success / Level of aspiration.

Consider how the level of ambition and success affects self-esteem. The level of aspirations is characterized by the desired level of self-esteem of the individual. This is the level that a person wants to achieve. It touches,. Success is the result that an individual has achieved. An increase in the indicator will occur by increasing the result of actions or decreasing the level of claims.

An adequate level is the ability to objectively assess oneself and one's abilities. A person has an adequate idea of his place in society, accepts his feelings and character traits, its pros and cons.

Nathaniel Branden, a renowned psychotherapist, believes that healthy self-esteem gives inner stability and confidence, without which it is impossible to cope with life's challenges. He gives in his book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem six practices for building healthy, adequate self-esteem.

Low self-esteem

Signs of low self-esteem appear in any period of life, but the makings are formed in childhood. This problem is often encountered in society and interferes with the normal existence of a person. A person with low self-esteem doubts his attractiveness, capabilities, is afraid to cause laughter and rejection in people. Strong resentment and envy are often manifested. A person runs the risk of not realizing his potential due to indecision, shyness.

What are the signs of low self-esteem?

Signs of low self-esteem are as follows:

Negative phrases in speech. “Maybe”, “hardly”, “not sure”. A person may not be aware of how often he utters these words, but they indicate his attitude to life;
Frequent Bad mood... A person often thinks about his shortcomings, criticizes the country, the people around him, hiding a bad mood behind cynicism;
Perfectionism. It manifests itself in excessive attention to appearance, the desire to be better in everything than others;
Loneliness. Fear of new acquaintances, avoidance of communication;
Fear of risks. Even if a person is offered a promotion at work, he may refuse for fear of not living up to expectations;
Guilt. A person with low self-esteem can take the blame on himself, apologizing to everyone, even if the situation concerns him indirectly;
Low initiative. In a dispute, a person will not prove a point of view, and will give the assigned case to another at the first opportunity.

A person with a low level is prone to loneliness

If almost all of the listed signs of low self-esteem can be traced in behavior, you should think about taking active steps to solve the problem.

How low self-esteem affects our lives

With low self-esteem, the individual does not appreciate his efforts and talents. He will settle for less with more potential. Such a person is often surrounded by people who criticize him, and he does not stop communicating with them. There will be no attempts to improve the quality of life as it is absent. The man believes that he deserves such a life.

How to deal with low self-esteem?

To increase you need:

Reveal. Positive affirmations, if they are not true, are not always beneficial. It is better to define attitudes that emphasize the actual character traits. One should not underestimate reliability, tact, responsibility, even if it seems that these properties are less recognized in society than the ability to easily find a common language. It is important to accept exactly your sides of the personality and learn to appreciate them;
Try to avoid self-criticism. All people react negatively to failure and humiliation. But an individual with low self-esteem will significantly exaggerate the situation. You should imagine that the failure did not happen to you, but to a friend. You need to write him a letter to cheer him up and comfort him. Try to show kindness, care, empathy. Then describe the event based only on facts, without emotion. You need to understand that a person with an underestimated self-assessment may incorrectly react to the facial expressions of others, accidentally heard scraps of phrases that are irrelevant. He often misinterprets even words about himself. You should try to analyze the unpleasant situation as dryly as possible;
Take action. Affirmations and visualization will not help to increase your own value without. You should start with a not very difficult task. It is important that there are no serious consequences in case of failure. To begin with, it is worth collecting as much information as possible about the methods of solving, form an action plan. Then calmly and step by step begin to solve the problem.

Heightened self-esteem

Overestimated self-esteem - a person's overestimation of their capabilities. It has pros and cons. The positive side is the confidence of the individual, helping to achieve success. Negative sides - excessive selfishness, disdain for the opinions of other people, overestimation of their strengths. If failures occur, the person may fall into. Therefore, even with the advantages of such self-awareness, it cannot be considered useful.

The main signs of high self-esteem

Inflated self-esteem manifests itself in a rather monotonous manner. The individual considers himself superior to the rest. Sometimes people themselves overestimate him, which gives rise to pride that will remain even after the moment of glory.

Signs of high self-esteem:

Confidence in one's righteousness even in the presence of arguments that contradict it;
At each discussion or discussion, a person leaves the last word for himself;
Other people's opinions are not recognized at all;
In case of failure, the blame is shifted to the society, the current situation;
Such an individual does not know how to apologize;
A person always competes with others, strives to surpass them;
The point of view is constantly expressed, even in the absence of an expressed desire to listen to it;
The word "I" is heard from him in any dispute very often;
Criticism is not perceived, indifference to the opinions of others is shown;
It is necessary to remain perfect, not to make mistakes;
Any failure knocks a person out of the previous rhythm, irritation is felt when it does not work;
The individual takes on complex cases, the probable risks are not taken into account;
Fear of showing weakness, insecurity;
Their interests are valued above others, selfishness is expressed in the character;
A tendency to educate people, to interfere in their affairs;
The person often interrupts, does not know how to listen, prefers to speak more himself;
Arrogance is traced in his tone, requests are presented in the form of an order;
If you fail to be the first in any business, the individual falls into a depressive state.

When detecting signs of high self-esteem in childhood, it is important for parents to avoid excessive praise

The impact of high self-esteem on your life

Inside, people with high self-esteem are usually dissatisfied with themselves, feel lonely. Relationships in society are difficult, as people do not approve of arrogant behavior. In some cases, aggression is visible in actions. The reaction to criticism is very painful. With any setbacks, depression can develop, so correction of overestimated self-esteem is necessary.

How to deal with high self-esteem?

Perceive any opinion of people. A person from the outside can see the situation more objectively;
When listening to criticism, avoid quarrels and aggression;
If you fail, you should analyze your own behavior, and not look for reasons in the environment;
Praise should be taken critically, understand its sincerity, deservedness and compliance with reality;
Compare yourself to the more successful people;
Determine your capabilities before taking the initiative;
Accept the negative aspects of character, do not consider them not as significant as those of the rest;
Become a little more self-critical, as this quality has a positive effect on development;
After the completion of the case, analyze whether it could have been done better and what was not enough for this;
Perceive the assessment of others, and not just your own;
Accept the desires and feelings of others, realize their importance.

Many are interested in the question of how to communicate with a person with high self-esteem. Such people must be put in their place. At first, it is better to do it delicately, then you can directly ask why he considers himself better than the rest.

You should not accept attempts at humiliation from such people. They are not very happy as they have to play an arrogant role due to their fear of being themselves.

Self-esteem and health

People with an underestimated level suffer from a lack of positive emotions, so they have less energy and strength. Such a person often restrains his activity, so the energy does not come out.

Due to constant stress, an individual loses his appetite or seizes problems, which affects weight. These people are often manipulated, against the background of which they develop a depressive state. Avoidance of responsibility leads to restrictions on physical activity, which negatively affects the condition of the lungs and joints. Overestimated self-esteem also negatively affects, since in case of failure, the individual often develops depression, which leads to other problems.

It is important to have adequate self-esteem. Any deviation from the norm negatively affects not only relationships with others and self-realization, but also health.

What is personality self-esteem?

In the modern world, adequate self-esteem and self-confidence is one of the key factors in any business.

Self-assessment functions.

Psychologists identify 3 main functions of personality self-esteem:

Protective function. Self-esteem of a person forms the degree of a person's independence from someone else's opinion, and self-confidence makes it possible to feel relatively protected from the influence of any external unfavorable factors.
Regulatory function. Self-esteem gives a person the opportunity to make choices and regulate their life path: to set themselves and follow their own, and not someone else's, goals.
Developing function. Thanks to self-esteem, a person develops and improves, since it acts as a kind of motivating factor for.

Low, high and high self-esteem.

You can often hear such expressions as “adequate self-esteem”, “low or low self-esteem”, “high self-esteem”, “high self-esteem”. Let's see what they mean in simple words.

Low self-esteem (low self-esteem)- this is giving yourself, your personality, lower ratings and characteristics than they really are.

Heightened self-esteem- This is the perception of one's own personality at a higher level in comparison with reality.

Respectively, adequate, ideal, high self-esteem- this is the most objective and real assessment of one's own personality, the perception of it as it is: no better, and no worse.

Both underestimated and overestimated self-esteem prevent a person from developing, only it manifests itself in different ways. In fact, there are very few people with adequate, high (but not overestimated!) Self-esteem. Numerous studies of psychologists have proven that most often people have just low self-esteem, which is one of the most serious reasons for their life failures. Including, in relation to the site topic Financial genius - and low level. Therefore, for people who have it underestimated, it is very important to think about increasing self-esteem, and not just think, but start acting in this direction.

Signs of low self-esteem.

Since it is always difficult for a person to objectively assess himself, let's look at the characteristic signs that indicate that he has low self-esteem.

Constant dissatisfaction with oneself, one's work, family, life in general;
Constant self-criticism and self-examination;
Increased sensitivity to criticism and comments from other people, strong reaction to criticism;
Strong dependence on the opinions of others;
The desire to act in accordance with common stereotypes, the search for approval from others, the desire to please everyone, the desire to justify their actions in front of others;
Indecision, fear of making mistakes, severe frustration and anxiety after making a mistake;
Strong feeling of jealousy, especially for no reason;
A strong sense of envy of successes, achievements, the lives of other people;
Constant grievances, incl. for nothing;
Dissatisfaction with your appearance;
A hostile attitude towards the outside world (everyone around is enemies);
A constant sense of fear and a defensive attitude;
Pronounced pessimistic attitude.

The more of these signs you find in yourself, the more you should think about how to raise your self-esteem and gain self-confidence.

Why do you need high self-esteem?

High self-esteem, on the contrary, opens the way to achievements, to new heights, new areas of activity.

People will begin to appreciate and respect you only when you have adequate high self-esteem and self-confidence. Believe in yourself and then others will believe in you!

Signs of high self-esteem.

Now, by analogy, let's highlight the main signs that you have high self-esteem, you were able to raise it, or it was (in this case, you are great!).

You are always confident in yourself, your strengths and capabilities;
You accept yourself as you are;
You are not afraid to make mistakes, you learn from them, perceive them as an experience, and move on;
You are calm when criticized, distinguish between constructive and destructive criticism;
You easily come into contact and find a common language with different people, are not afraid of communication;
You always have your own point of view on any issues;
You strive for self-development and self-improvement;
You tend to be successful in your endeavors.

Reasons for low self-esteem.

Reason 1. Wrong upbringing. Parents raised many people only with a "whip", constantly scolding, comparing them not for the better with other children. Naturally, such a child develops low self-esteem from childhood: he cannot do anything, he is bad, he is a loser, others are better.

Reason 5. Appearance or health problems. And finally, another significant reason for low self-esteem is the presence of certain defects in appearance or visible health problems (overweight, low vision, etc.). Again, from an early age, such people can be ridiculed and insulted, so they often develop low self-esteem, which interferes with throughout adulthood.

Stay tuned! Until next time!

Self-esteem of a person is a set of opinions (assessments) about oneself, about one's own pros and cons, about disadvantages and advantages.

The main thing in self-esteem is your own opinion about yourself. This opinion may change, depending on life circumstances. Self-esteem is based on the personal value system.

It is important to have a balanced, balanced view of yourself, to develop your strengths and correct weaknesses.

Healthy self-esteem provides a person with comfort and balanced optimism, affecting all aspects of life.

There are actually few people with low self-esteem, but there are many people who have a habit of living in a "victim position", and this is "defense against claims."

When low self-esteem becomes a habit, then a person has a reason not to work on himself.

Objective self-esteem gives harmony, peace of mind, the ability to love and be loved, joy from every day of life.

How self-esteem is formed

Self-esteem is formed on the basis of assessments of others, self-assessment of the results of one's own activities, as well as on the basis of the ratio of real and ideal ideas about oneself.

We absorb opinions about us from the world around us. Based on this, we draw conclusions about ourselves and develop self-esteem.

You shouldn't be guided by public opinion. This is not a lighthouse, but wandering lights. (C)

We remember childhood.

We have an underestimated opinion of ourselves if our parents did not assess our successes and failures adequately.

We have an inflated opinion of ourselves if our parents never scolded us and did not restrict us in anything. When it suddenly turns out that we are not perfect, we experience emotional stress. Self-esteem suffers, but remains the same. Everyone around us is to blame for our troubles, but not ourselves. Of course, everyone around US should, the claims to the world in this case are endless.

Parental indifference is more common in well-to-do families than in low-income families. The sincere interest of parents and participation in the life of children is the key to an adequate self-esteem of the child.

Heightened self-esteem

We feel superior to others, we are confident in our exclusivity, we deserve more, and only the envy of others darkens our ideal of ourselves ... This is an overestimated self-esteem.

The victim syndrome does not always show low self-esteem; often it is precisely high self-esteem. High self-esteem, coupled with a tendency toward victimization, creates the illusion of low self-esteem.

For example, "handsome men are not interested in me, and I do not like ugly men." And what objective grounds do we have to claim the attention of handsome men?

With high self-esteem, we strive to be the first in everything and are acutely experiencing failure. This is the "excellent student's syndrome".

Low self-esteem

We consider ourselves to be losers, fixate on problems and grievances, any assessment (even positive) from the outside is perceived as negative. This is the path to depression.

Self-humiliation is asking, not achieving goals, waiting for recognition, not achieving it.

"Excellent student syndrome" is when I have to be the best always and in everything, it is a constant comparison of myself with others, instead of understanding my individuality.

Do not compare yourself with the people around you, they are different, compare yourself with yourself in the past, present and future.

Fighting with yourself is also an interesting moment.

Shame arises when we divide ourselves into "bad" and "good", right and wrong. And these concepts are subjective. A holistic person has both pluses and minuses, adequately accepting their presence.

With low self-esteem, people do not get down to business (scary, suddenly there will be a "failure") and compare their successes with those who have no success at all, this is a favorable background for comparison.

What to do?

Humility and humiliation are related concepts, but not identical. Humility is a high spiritual quality, humiliation is a low earthly one. A person is humbled by reason, and humiliated by dignity.

The best way to get rid of self-deprecation is to increase your self-esteem. It is because of low self-esteem that we are painfully dependent on the opinions of others, and we adapt to them.

So advice.

There is an idea - we start to implement it right away, or we plan for a short time, but carefully. The longer we get together, the more the low self-esteem tells us - "we still won't cope, everything is lost." Learn to make risky and bold decisions for which you can respect yourself. Without self-esteem, adequate self-esteem is impossible. The feeling of inner strength evens out self-esteem.

Do not understand someone else's statement - we ask questions, clarify. What exactly did our interlocutor mean? If the interlocutor has a habit of humiliating us, we change the interlocutor. If a person is not able to assess us objectively, such a person is not needed in life. Learn to distance yourself from negative people.

You need to be better than yesterday. And not better than others. (S)

Don't compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself today with yourself in the past, what path you have passed, with what results. It is inadequate to compare oak and spruce, they are different, although both are trees. There will always be someone better, more beautiful, smarter and more successful than us.

Are we being accused? Don't make excuses right away. Calmly explain the motivation for our actions.

Have we made mistakes? So we did something. Nobody is perfect. Analyzed, made conclusions, the past is in the trash. Negative experience is also needed. We step over fears and go into the future without them.

We throw out suspiciousness. There are no "evil empires" and "universal conspiracies".

We take a sheet of paper, divide it in half, and adequately assess our pros and cons. We develop and strengthen the pluses, correct the minuses. We evaluate abilities objectively, then failures will be less likely to be comprehended.

We leave all unnecessary sacrifices - unloved work, hateful relationships, and so on. We are looking for ways to do what we want, to show our abilities, for the benefit of ourselves and the world.

Objectivity of Tarot Assessment

Objectivity of assessment is needed everywhere and in everything. This is the key to an adequate perception of the world and information.

Each lasso of the Tarot (like everything in this world) has its own pros and cons.

Reading a straight card as a plus-position, and an inverted one as a minus-position is bias, one-sided assessment and presentation of information. Though straight, even turned upside down, even sideways, but the lasso has both pluses and minuses, the second side of the "medal" does not disappear anywhere, no matter how you put it. And the tarot reader biasedly looks at the "medal" from only one side, ignoring the other. The completeness of the meaning of the lasso in this case is reduced to the sugary "good", or to the sad "bad", the balance of pluses and minuses is lost. This leads to deliberate distortion of information.

If you want to find out which factors work in a positive direction, and which in a negative direction, then you just need a structure, and that's it. No one-sided interpretations.

What is personality self-esteem?

In the modern world, adequate self-esteem and self-confidence is one of the key factors in any business.

Self-assessment functions.

Psychologists identify 3 main functions of personality self-esteem:

Protective function. Self-esteem of a person forms the degree of a person's independence from someone else's opinion, and self-confidence makes it possible to feel relatively protected from the influence of any external unfavorable factors.
Regulatory function. Self-esteem gives a person the opportunity to make choices and regulate their life path: to set themselves and follow their own, and not someone else's, goals.
Developing function. Thanks to self-esteem, a person develops and improves, since it acts as a kind of motivating factor for.

Low, high and high self-esteem.

You can often hear such expressions as “adequate self-esteem”, “low or low self-esteem”, “high self-esteem”, “high self-esteem”. Let's see what they mean in simple words.

Low self-esteem (low self-esteem)- this is giving yourself, your personality, lower ratings and characteristics than they really are.

Heightened self-esteem- This is the perception of one's own personality at a higher level in comparison with reality.

Respectively, adequate, ideal, high self-esteem- this is the most objective and real assessment of one's own personality, the perception of it as it is: no better, and no worse.

Both underestimated and overestimated self-esteem prevent a person from developing, only it manifests itself in different ways. In fact, there are very few people with adequate, high (but not overestimated!) Self-esteem. Numerous studies of psychologists have proven that most often people have just low self-esteem, which is one of the most serious reasons for their life failures. Including, in relation to the site topic Financial genius - and low level. Therefore, for people who have it underestimated, it is very important to think about increasing self-esteem, and not just think, but start acting in this direction.

Signs of low self-esteem.

Since it is always difficult for a person to objectively assess himself, let's look at the characteristic signs that indicate that he has low self-esteem.

Constant dissatisfaction with oneself, one's work, family, life in general;
Constant self-criticism and self-examination;
Increased sensitivity to criticism and comments from other people, strong reaction to criticism;
Strong dependence on the opinions of others;
The desire to act in accordance with common stereotypes, the search for approval from others, the desire to please everyone, the desire to justify their actions in front of others;
Indecision, fear of making mistakes, severe frustration and anxiety after making a mistake;
Strong feeling of jealousy, especially for no reason;
A strong sense of envy of successes, achievements, the lives of other people;
Constant grievances, incl. for nothing;
Dissatisfaction with your appearance;
A hostile attitude towards the outside world (everyone around is enemies);
A constant sense of fear and a defensive attitude;
Pronounced pessimistic attitude.

The more of these signs you find in yourself, the more you should think about how to raise your self-esteem and gain self-confidence.

Why do you need high self-esteem?

High self-esteem, on the contrary, opens the way to achievements, to new heights, new areas of activity.

People will begin to appreciate and respect you only when you have adequate high self-esteem and self-confidence. Believe in yourself and then others will believe in you!

Signs of high self-esteem.

Now, by analogy, let's highlight the main signs that you have high self-esteem, you were able to raise it, or it was (in this case, you are great!).

You are always confident in yourself, your strengths and capabilities;
You accept yourself as you are;
You are not afraid to make mistakes, you learn from them, perceive them as an experience, and move on;
You are calm when criticized, distinguish between constructive and destructive criticism;
You easily come into contact and find a common language with different people, are not afraid of communication;
You always have your own point of view on any issues;
You strive for self-development and self-improvement;
You tend to be successful in your endeavors.

Reasons for low self-esteem.

Reason 5. Appearance or health problems. And finally, another significant reason for low self-esteem is the presence of certain defects in appearance or visible health problems (overweight, low vision, etc.). Again, from an early age, such people can be ridiculed and insulted, so they often develop low self-esteem, which interferes with throughout adulthood.

Stay tuned! Until next time!

Often such people hide. As you know, the best defense is an attack, so they praise themselves in all sorts of ways so that no one would guess about their true fears.

It is believed that heightened self-esteem Is a sign of bad parenting. Probably, there is a lion's share of truth in this statement, since everything that we have in adulthood - all our advantages and disadvantages - were laid down in childhood. So what is overestimated self-esteem, what are its disadvantages?

Trouble with high self-esteem

Psychologists say that overestimated self-esteem resembles a kind of cell that isolates a person from reality and prevents him from growing. People with high self-esteem, as a rule, live in their ideal-illusory world, in a made-up reality and can face a lot of problems that are not problems for a person with normal self-esteem. Here are the most common ones:

Too high self-esteem, which is not justified by real merits, fetters a person, prevents him from making adequate decisions and acting. The feeling of superiority in such people does not give them the opportunity to make mistakes, learn from them, and get a certain life experience. Therefore, in order not to "fall face down in the mud" such people simply refuse to act.
People with high self-esteem are very often in a state of intrapersonal conflict. In other words, they never admit their own mistakes, because they are convinced that people who make mistakes are far from ideal. High self-esteem, by definition, precludes this. Internal conflict on the face, with all the torments and worries about this.
As a rule, no one likes people with high self-esteem as a result of communication problems. For individuals with high self-esteem, arrogance and disrespect for others are always inherent.
The lack of opportunities for personal growth is one of the main problems of people with high self-esteem. After all, the "ideal", by definition, can no longer strive for anything, and this, as you know, is the path to nowhere, that is, the degradation of personal indicators as such.

How to identify someone with high self-esteem

There is nothing easier, in the first minute of a conversation, to recognize a person whose self-esteem is "above the clouds":

Man believes that he is the center of the universe. He never listens to the opinions of others, puts himself above everyone else.
Such people often dream of occupying leadership positions. As a rule, only everything remains at the level of dreams.
In a family, a person with high self-esteem tries to lead, sometimes turning into a real despot or tyrant.
Even if the facts indicate that the person is wrong, he will argue the opposite and it is useless to argue.
Another's opinion, which contradicts the opinion of a person with high self-esteem, is automatically wrong.
Such people always express their point of view, even if no one asks them about it.
Even constructive criticism against them causes a storm of indignation and is not accepted.
People with high self-esteem are very afraid to make a mistake, they constantly live in this grip, but they never confess.
Often such people refuse any help, even if they really need it.

Inadequately high self-esteem is very dangerous, it can make a person unhappy for life. It is very important to educate children with adequate self-esteem, teach them to do things, but, at the same time, do not forget to grow above themselves, improve as a person.

Without a doubt, parents should praise the child, but the praise should carry an adequate informative message. It is necessary to praise for real actions, for achievements, thereby, stimulating the child to do something good again and improve himself.

For a comfortable existence in our difficult world and for a favorable interaction with the surrounding society, it is very important to feel an inner positive tone and be self-confident. Adequate conceit, knowledge of who we are and what we are worth - those things that many people today lack, and according to statistics, psychological courses to improve self-esteem are among the most popular.

The word “self-esteem” is understood as the opinion, those beliefs that a person has about himself - what type of personality he considers himself to, what he is capable of, what are the positive and negative sides and how all this can affect the future.

And yet, why is it so important to have high self-esteem?

Firstly, this will only make life easier and brighter. When a person is confident in himself, likes himself, all other things around become easier. At the same time, you stop exaggerating the problems, making an elephant out of a fly. A self-confident person will not unnecessarily oppress and reproach himself for simple mistakes or not reaching ideal standards.

Secondly, self-confidence will contribute to the strengthening of internal stability. When you love yourself more, there is no need to ardently and impatiently fight for the approval and attention of outsiders. Inner world and personal life becomes less dependent on what other people have to say or think.

Thirdly, internal self-struggle decreases. Many people are their own worst enemies. However, by increasing and maintaining your self-esteem at the right level, you begin to feel much more worthy of the best in life and, therefore, with much more motivation you strive to achieve this. And when you get what you want, you become less prone to self-reproach and self-destruction.

Fourth, you become more disposed and attractive in any relationship with others. With good self-esteem and the benefits listed above, you can cope with difficult times more resiliently. It is much easier to be in such situations with a self-confident person, which makes the latter very attractive in any relationship - both friendly, and work, and family.

And fifthly, a person becomes happier, which is the result of achieving all of the above.

The benefits are clear and obvious.

What are the main steps you need to take to increase your self-esteem?

Stop excessive and constant internal self-criticism. One of the ways to achieve this is to learn how to stop her with prohibitive words like "Enough, this is not informative and will not fix things!", "Stop, there is no point in thinking about this!" etc.

Use the healthiest and most effective ways of motivation, namely: remind yourself more often about the benefits of the expected results from completing the task and more often focus on doing what you really like.

Allocate two-minute breaks every day to comprehend those things and actions that are worth appreciating in yourself.

Do the right things, which I am absolutely sure of. For example, stop putting off going to the gym "until tomorrow" and go there right now.

Handle errors and failures in the most positive way.

Be kinder to other people.

Try something new.

Stop comparing yourself and what you have with the lives of other people.

Spend time with positive, supportive people rather than depressed and "destructive" people.

And, finally, you must always remember about the advantages that a correct self-esteem gives in life. It is necessary to clearly understand what kind of things in life help to feel better and more comfortable. To be able to be proud of your achievements and not let the mistakes you make override all positive expectations.

Every day a person is faced with the fact that his activities and actions appreciated by others... In childhood, parents and educators assess his actions: "You did well!" or "You can't do that!" Then his progress is assessed by teachers at school: "If I had put in a little more effort, I would have put an A." Based on the assessment of others, a person develops an idea of himself, including a set of personal characteristics and a general assessment of himself as a representative of society. The idea of one's own significance and importance, the ability to see one's own merits and demerits in psychology is called self-esteem.

Types of self-esteem

Self-esteem depends on the degree of a person's acceptance of himself, the degree of self-love. In psychology, there are 3 types of self-esteem:

Adequate... This type is characterized by the coincidence of a person's self-perception with an objective assessment of his actions and personality from others. V Everyday life this is manifested in a person's ability to take on only those things that he can definitely do. People with adequate self-esteem know their strengths and weaknesses, are able to take criticism constructively, analyze the situation sensibly.
Low... This type is based on the fact that a person underestimates his abilities. If he is praised, emphasizing his dedication, patience and attentiveness, he sees flattery in the words of the interlocutor. In every positive review of his work, he looks for a catch. Such people tend to blame themselves for all failures.
High... The basis of this type is the self-admiration of a person. He exalts his positive traits, but prefers not to talk about his negative character traits. Working in a team, people with high self-esteem are condescending to colleagues, they will not miss an opportunity to praise themselves if the team has managed to achieve its goal. They often take on too many responsibilities, but cannot cope with them on their own. The reasons for failure are seen in external circumstances, in the indifference of colleagues, but not in themselves.

Pros of high self-esteem in a person

The benefits of high self-esteem are:

Self-confidence and self-confidence... Such people do not feel the need for the constant approval of others, they themselves know that they are doing everything in the right way.
Self esteem... People with high self-esteem never lose their self-esteem. They care about their reputation, so they look after themselves and their image.
Willingness to take on any business... As a rule, such people are easy-going, show initiative.
Stress tolerance... A person with a high opinion of himself does not worry about failures, he is able to find the positive aspects of any situation.
Optimistic attitude... People with high self-esteem tend to believe in the positive outcome of any business. They think positively.
Openness... Such people can support any topic of conversation, positioning themselves as an expert. Their openness disposes to themselves, so they often become the soul of the company.
Leadership ability... Initiative, the ability to generate many ideas, activity - these are the qualities that make team members listen to the opinion of a person with high self-esteem.

Cons of high self-esteem

However, a person's high opinion of himself is not always good. The disadvantages of this personality trait include:

In many daily activities, high self-esteem gives a person certain advantages... It helps a person to quickly move up the career ladder, because he always makes a good impression on others, allows a person to be in the center of attention and be the soul of the company. In addition, everyone can get into an unpleasant situation, but not everyone can get out of it with dignity. It is a high opinion of oneself that allows a person to always maintain self-respect.

But along with the advantages, this personality trait is fraught with negative aspects that prevent a person from building trusting relationships and engaging in self-development. Therefore, in order for high self-esteem to bring only advantages, you need to learn to be critical of yourself, accept criticism and work on yourself. A professional psychologist can help with this.

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