Etiquette - the rules of behavior of people in society, which determine what can and cannot be done in certain situations. Knowing etiquette helps to make a good impression on people and build effective communication. This knowledge is especially useful when attending special events.

Many of us feel uncomfortable getting into an expensive restaurant or attending an important business meeting. This is due to the fact that we do not know exactly how to behave correctly. Basic rules of etiquette will allow you not to fall on your face in the mud in any situation.

Rules of conduct in society

1. Never come for a visit without a call. And if you were visited without warning, you can afford to be in a dressing gown and curlers.
   
   
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2. If you accepted the invitation, be punctual - you shouldn't say the famous: "I may be a little late." Come on time. Only a very important person or a star can be more than half an hour late: they, as you know, are not late, but late.
   
   
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3. It is always better to come to a visit or to a party with a gift. It doesn't have to be expensive. Win-win options are wine and desserts. If there are small children in the house, bring something for them too.
   
   
4. The format of greetings at the entrance - kisses, hugs, handshakes, or other signs of respect - are determined by older guests. Whoever you are - a director, an academician, an elderly woman or a student, when entering the room, greet the first person.
   
   
5. The usual rules apply at the table. Eat at the same rate as the rest.
   
   
6. Certain inconvenient topics of conversation are best avoided. It is believed that you cannot talk about salary, politics, health, religion. Good topics for easy conversation: sports, weather, cooking, pets, art, science, travel, and more.
   
   
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7. Place a napkin on your lap during meals, and then to the left of the plate. In turn, leave the cutlery on the plate, not on the table.
   
   
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8. Do not place your smartphone on a table in public places. By doing so, you show how important this gadget plays in your life and how uninterested you are in the conversation taking place nearby. Better not to use your phone at all during dinner.
   
   

Always turn on silent mode or turn off your phone altogether in the theater, library, cinema, at a lecture. If you need to make or receive a call, step back two or three meters to the side, so as not to interfere with the conversation of friends.



9. When receiving guests, make sure that the size of the table corresponds to the number of guests. The tablecloth must be flawless.
10. The dishes must be from the same set. It is worth picking up all the plates and other items by material and color.
    
    
11. If the menu has 2 types of dishes and 2 fundamentally different wines, give each guest an extra glass. Don't forget about the water glasses.
    
    
12. If someone comes to you for the first time, first show the guest where you can wash your hands and put yourself in order, and then invite them into the living room.
    
    
13. If there are strangers among the guests, they should definitely be introduced to each other. When meeting, they represent: a man - a woman, younger in age and position - older, who came later - already present. In this case, the person to whom you introduce the stranger is mentioned first, and the one you represent - the second.
    
    
14. Women are not advised to check or apply makeup during a conversation or at a table, and men are not recommended to comb their hair, touch their hair or beard.
15. Don't forget to thank! Say thank you to the owner and, if possible, to the others with whom you spoke for an interesting conversation. The host should thank all the guests, mentioning that it was their arrival that made this event special.
    
    

Nothing costs us so cheaply or appreciates more than courtesy. Rules of etiquette are fairly simple and based on common sense. You show politeness towards another person, he shows it towards you. In this way, everyone wins.

Once upon a time etiquette, that is, the rules of behavior in society, was taught as a subject in schools. The children were taught this by meticulous tutors. Today this word has lost its popularity, meanwhile it does not bother anyone to learn at least the elementary rules of behavior at the table, in the theater, in society. In the end, by doing this you will make the situation much easier for yourself.

Some good form rules

Let's look at some situations that can help you feel at ease.

1. Table etiquette

By inviting a lady to a restaurant (or other similar place), the gentleman takes care of her outerwear, helps to take off her coat, puts it in the wardrobe, keeps the number, and does not give it to the lady. (By the way, the same applies to a ticket in the theater, cinema, in transport. Having bought a ticket for a lady, for example, on a bus, a gentleman keeps it until the end of the trip and gives it to the lady only if he does not accompany her to the end, but leaves earlier.)

If the table is not booked in advance, then all negotiations with the head waiter are conducted by a man. After taking the girl to the table, the man pushes her chair, and then takes his place. If the glasses are not filled by the waiter, then this is done by the man, having previously asked permission. When pouring wine, turn the bottle so that drops do not fall on the tablecloth.

If there are several people at the table, then the oldest woman is poured wine first. If they drink champagne, then the man pouring it starts with himself, pouring a few drops into his glass, then the oldest lady, then you can just walk in a circle, finishing with your glass.

If you are in a very fashionable restaurant where a lot of cutlery is served, for example, there are several forks and knives next to the plate, then you start with the ones that lie farther from the plate. If the purpose of some devices is not clear to you, then there is nothing wrong with asking the waiter.

If there are unfamiliar people at the table, then it is better to conduct conversations on common topics and not discuss mutual friends. Eating everything on the plate is optional, as well as leaving the pieces. To show the waiter that the plate can be taken away, place the cutlery on the plate "at five o'clock," that is, approximately where there is a small hand on the dial at five o'clock.

2. Communication etiquette

When introducing yourself to the company, state your name clearly and distinctly if no one introduced you. Shaking hands is not necessary if there are a lot of people, however, if you made one handshake, you will have to bypass everyone present.

A gloved hand can only be served by a woman and only if the glove is thin, and not, for example, a knitted mitten.

It happens that a person's hand is busy or, for example, smeared, if he is caught at work, and he holds it out in order to shake his wrist. This is actually unacceptable.

When greeting, the younger one is the first to say the greeting. If we are talking about a man and a woman, then the man is the first to greet. If you are greeted with the words "good afternoon", then it is ugly to answer with the word "good", you must answer with the full phrase "good afternoon".

Now let's imagine the following picture: a group of men is standing, a familiar (or unfamiliar) lady approaches or (passes by) them. Who should greet first, men or women? The first words of greeting are pronounced by the one who approaches, regardless of whether it is a person or a group, a man or a woman. Anyone or those who are on site respond to the greeting.

"Hush!" James Tissot, 1875

3. The basics of good taste for every day

To the rules of good taste in Everyday life includes the usual courtesy in communication, the absence of grumbling, endless complaints, the ability to say hello without unnecessary demonstrations, to express sympathy, to congratulate on the holiday, to wish good health, to thank and respond to gratitude.

These rules assume that those who enter and leave hold the door, regardless of whether they are walking alone or with someone. If a man follows a girl, then he always passes her forward, with the exception of exiting the elevator, descending the ladder from the ship, exiting the plane or city transport.

L. Afremov

Some prim manners have become obsolete today. For example, it used to be considered correct that a man, having put a woman in a car, closes the car door behind her, and only then goes to his place. Arriving at the place, the driver gets up, walks around the car, opens the door, helps the lady to get out. In our time, filled with cars and filled with rush, it is difficult to imagine people who would like and could fulfill these requirements.

4. How the rules of etiquette apply to children

A few years ago, parenting books taught young parents that children should not enter into conversations with adults without permission, should not interrupt, or speak to guests until asked. Today, many educators believe that this interferes with the development of a child as a person, that he has the same rights in conversation as an adult. This can be accepted if a child, even a small child, communicates as an adult. But if he moanes, "cries, tries to manipulate, then it is very annoying. Therefore, parents should limit - not so much the freedom of the child, but their own - by taking care of their own child so that it is not a burden to others.

All this also applies to those moments when parents, together with their baby, visit restaurants, cafes, museums, use by public transport... The ability to occupy your child so that he feels good and at the same time does not bother others is a good form, as opposed to trying to explain: "Well, this is a child, what can I do with him."

Should I comment on someone else's child? No! If you are not at all intolerant, then a remark in a very polite manner can be made to the child's parents. But at the same time, you should remember that it is not a good form to make a comment.

And most importantly, do not forget that the child first of all sees and repeats the behavior of his parents. Do not forget about the golden words "Thank you", "Please" and be polite!

The world around us is constantly changing: whole epochs go into the past, scientific and technological progress develops, new professions appear and people themselves become different. This means that the rules of conduct in society also do not stand still. Today, you can no longer find curtsies and bows that were relevant in previous XXI century centuries. So how should one behave in modern society? Find out about it now!

What are "rules of conduct in society" in general?

Often a person does not even think about the fact that this lengthy concept has a more compact version, which is used mainly on school lessons social science or sociologists - these are "social norms". Speaking in scientific language, the meaning of this term lies in the existence of common established patterns of the individual's behavior, which have evolved over a long period of time in the course of the practical activities of society. It is this activity that develops standard models of correct, expected and socially approved behavior. This includes many different categories: customs and traditions, aesthetic, legal, religious, corporate, political and a number of other norms and, of course, the rules of behavior in society. The latter may differ depending on the country, age and even gender of a particular individual. And yet, in general, there are universal rules and norms of behavior in society, following which, there is no doubt that success in communication and interaction is guaranteed!

First meeting and acquaintance

The rules of conduct established by society state that, in the event of acquaintance, the following should be submitted:

• a man to a woman;
• junior in age and position - senior in the same categories;
• those who came later - already present.

At the same time, the one with whom they are introduced is mentioned first in the address, for example: "Maria, get acquainted - Ivan!" or "Alexander Sergeevich, this is Artyom!"

When people get to know each other, it is recommended to briefly describe them in order to start a conversation and concretize who the “organizer” of the acquaintance is this person: “Elena, this is my brother Konstantin, he is a geologist”. Then the girl will have the opportunity to continue the conversation, for example, by clarifying with Konstantin the specifics of his profession, asking in more detail about family matters, etc.

Greetings

The rules of conduct in society also regulate the procedure for greeting people with each other. Thus, men are the first to address women with a welcoming speech, and the younger in position and / or age - to the elders.

However, it must be borne in mind that, regardless of social status and age, a person entering the room must always greet first.

When two married couples meet, girls / women are the first to greet each other, then they are greeted by men, and only after that the gentlemen exchange greetings among themselves.

When shaking hands, the first to give the hand is the one to whom the stranger was introduced, but at the same time the lady is always the man, the elder is the younger, the leader is the subordinate, even if the employee is a woman. The rules of conduct adopted in society indicate: if a hand was given to a seated person to shake, he must stand up. A man should take off his glove, for ladies this condition is not necessary.

If at the meeting one of the couple or company greeted the person they met, then the rest are also recommended to greet him.

Politeness and tact

The rules of behavior in modern society also require a person to be tactful and easy-going in communication, which will allow him not to be considered unpleasant and unethical in certain circles.

So, it is highly discouraged to point a finger at a person. You should not interfere with the conversation of strangers when they are discussing personal topics and are not inclined to accept another interlocutor. Attentive and intelligent people will not belittle the dignity of others in communication, interrupt the speaking interlocutor, raise inappropriate and not recommended topics in a conversation (for example, about political views, religion, painful moments in life, etc.). When communicating with an unfamiliar person, it is especially recommended to adhere to neutral topics such as sports, hobbies and hobbies, culinary preferences, travel, attitude to cinema and music, and others - then all participants in the conversation will have a positive impression of communication.

Do not belittle the meaning of the existing so-called magic words, namely "forgive", "please", "thank you", "goodbye". The familiar address to "you" is not recommended to use even successful people who have successfully realized themselves in life, because this is a sign of the absence of elementary culture and education. The rules of behavior for people in society are the optimal models established for each and every one, regardless of financial condition, social status, standard of living, etc.

Correctly delivered speech

The rules of behavior in society require a person to be able to competently express their own thoughts, because, as you know, whoever thinks harmoniously speaks in exactly the same way.

One should speak at a moderate pace, calmly, not too loudly, because attracting undue attention to oneself by means of an increased tone is the wrong approach to business. The interlocutor should be carried away by his own erudition, open-mindedness and knowledge of certain areas of life.

It is considered bad manners to unnecessarily complain about your problems or "pull" the interlocutor to a frank conversation, when he demonstrates a clear unwillingness to share intimate things.

Mood

In addition, the norms and rules of behavior of people in society require for the period of interaction and conversation to put aside the existing difficulties in life, bad mood, pessimism and negative attitude towards anything. You can only say something like that. to a loved one... Otherwise, there is a risk of being misunderstood by the interlocutor, leaving an unpleasant aftertaste from the conversation. It is also not recommended to talk about bad news, otherwise there is a great chance at a subconscious level to "tie" to your person an association with everything bad, joyless, unpleasant.

What tone should be set?

Of course, it is best to give a conversation in a company a light-hearted, half-joking, half-serious tone. You should not play too much in the hope of gaining the attention of others, otherwise you can forever gain a reputation as a jester with a narrow thinking and outlook on things, which will be difficult to get rid of later.

How to behave in a cultural place, at an event or at a party?

It is considered offensive to laugh out loud, discuss others openly, and stare at someone in a public place where people come to rest and relax.

It is recommended that you switch off your mobile phone in quiet places such as cinema, theaters, museums, performances and lectures, etc.

When moving between the rows of seated people, it is necessary to go to them face, and not vice versa. In this case, the man goes first, the woman follows him.

With the manifestation of feelings, such as kisses or hugs, it is better to postpone and not show them in front of the public, because for some, such open tenderness can be unpleasant.

At exhibitions, you should not take photographs where it is prohibited, as well as touch the exhibits.

If a person is invited to visit, he needs to take care to arrive as accurately as possible by the specified hour. Being late or arriving too early means being tactless and disrespectful towards the owner of the house.

The optimal time frame for a visit, which should not be like a snow on the head for the host, is considered to be from 12 noon to 20 pm. At the same time, it is impossible to stay up late when they are not asked about it, because in this way you can simply disrupt the plans of another person and his time schedule. A visit empty-handed, with another, uninvited, person, intoxicated - all this may become the reason that in the future the owner, most likely, will no longer want to host such an unethical individual.

As you can see, it is not difficult to follow the simplest social rules of behavior, the main thing is to start, and then they will become a habit and, as a result, will bring a lot of benefits!

V modern world not knowing the rules of etiquette means spitting against the wind, exposing yourself at the same time in an uncomfortable position. Unfortunately, many perceive the observance of certain norms and rules of communication as something shameful, considering this a sign of highbrow aesthetes who are very far from real life... However, these people forget that rude and tactless behavior can cause the same reaction in return.

In fact, the basics of etiquette are pretty simple. This is a culture of speech, elementary politeness, neat appearance and the ability to manage your emotions. Both of these apply to both men and women.

1. If you say the phrase: "I invite you" - it means you pay... Another wording: "Let's go to a restaurant" - in this case, everyone pays for himself, and only if the man himself offers to pay for the woman, she can agree.
2. Never do not come to visit without a call... If you are visited without warning, you can afford to be in a dressing gown and curlers. One British lady said that when intruders appeared, she always put on shoes, a hat and took an umbrella. If the person is pleasant to her, she will exclaim: "Oh, how lucky, I just came!". If unpleasant: "Oh, what a pity, I have to leave."
3. Don't ask a girl out on a date through and, even more so, to communicate with her like that.
4. Do not place your smartphone on a table in public places. By doing so, you show how important the communication device is in your life and how much you are uninterested in the annoying chatter going on around you. At any moment, you are ready to leave useless conversations and once again check your Instagram feed, answer an important call or get distracted to find out which fifteen new levels have come out for Angry Birds.
5. Man never does not carry a woman's bag... And he takes a woman's coat only to bring it to the locker room.
6. Always keep your shoes clean.
7. If you are walking with someone and your companion greeted you a person, should say hello and you.
8. Many people think that you can only eat with chopsticks. However, this is not entirely correct. Unlike women, men can eat sushi with their hands.
9. Do not chat on the phone.... If you are in need of a heart-to-heart conversation, it is best to meet with a friend face to face.
10. If you have been insulted, you should not respond with similar rudeness, and, moreover, raise your voice at the person who insulted you. Don't get down to his level. Smile and politely move away from the ill-mannered interlocutor.
11. On the street the man should go to the left of the lady... On the right, only military personnel can go, who must be ready to perform a military salute.
12. Drivers should be mindful of the fact that in cold blood sprinkle passers-by with mud - blatant lack of culture.
13. A woman may not take off her hat and gloves indoors, but no hat and mittens.
14. Nine things to be kept secret: age, wealth, gap in the house, prayer, composition of medicine, love affair, gift, honor and dishonor.
15. Having come to the cinema, theater, to the concert, you should go to your seats only facing the seated... The man walks first.
16. The man always enters the restaurant first., the main reason - on this basis, the head waiter has the right to draw conclusions about who is the initiator of coming to the institution, and who will pay. In the case of a large company, the first person enters and the one from whom the invitation to the restaurant originated pays. But if a doorman meets visitors at the entrance, then the man must let the first woman pass. Then it finds free seats.
17. Never you should not touch a woman without her desire, take her hand, touch her during a conversation, push her, or hold her hand above the elbow, except when you are helping her get into or out of a vehicle, or cross the street.
18. If someone calls you impolitely (for example: "Hey, you!"), do not respond to this call. However, you do not need to read lectures, educate others during a short meeting. Better to teach a lesson in etiquette by example.
19. Golden Rule when using perfume - moderation... If by the evening you smell your perfume, know that everyone else has already suffocated.
20. A well-mannered man will never allow himself not to show what he should. respect for a woman.
21. In the presence of a woman, a man smokes only with her permission.
22. Whoever you are - director, academician, elderly woman or schoolboy - entering the premises, say hello first.
23. Maintain confidentiality of correspondence... Parents should not read letters intended for their children. Spouses should do the same in relation to each other. Anyone who rummages through the pockets of loved ones in search of notes or letters is extremely ugly.
24. Do not try to keep up with fashion... It is better to look not fashionable, but good, than bad.
25. If, after apologizing, you are forgiven, you should not return to the offensive question again and ask for forgiveness again, just do not repeat such mistakes.
26. Laugh too loud, communicate noisy, intently looking at people is insulting.
27. Don't forget to thank your loved ones people, relatives and friends. Their good deeds and willingness to offer their help is not a duty, but an expression of feelings worthy of gratitude.

I am very sensitive to the rules of good form. How to pass a plate. Don't scream from one room to another. Do not open a closed door without knocking. Let the lady pass forward. The target of all these countless simple rules- to make life better. We cannot live in a state of chronic war with our parents - this is stupid. I carefully monitor my manners. This is not some kind of abstraction. This is the language of mutual respect that everyone understands.

American actor Jack Nicholson

"Nothing is cheap or appreciated more than courtesy."
Cervantes

HOW TO BE IN SOCIETY?

It is well known that a person is not able to be alone for a long time. Therefore, in order to forget once and for all what is hidden under the word "loneliness", people are simply obliged to learn how to communicate correctly with each other.

Not every person is lucky in childhood to receive a good upbringing and learn the rules of behavior that are instilled in the family and continue to be supplemented and improved in kindergarten, at school, and throughout life. The rules of conduct adopted in society will help you to communicate with people at ease and be a pleasant interlocutor.

A man and a woman have different vital functions and, therefore, different rules behavior in society. It is generally accepted that a man should be a breadwinner and protector, that is, resourceful and courageous. Women are physically weaker, they are the keepers of the home, they need protection. Based on this, the rules of conduct for men and women are appropriate.

However, there are rules that are equally fair for both men and women, so we will consider them today. So what should a polite person be?

ETIQUETTE - WHAT IS IT?

To learn to be polite person, it will take a lot of effort, perseverance and a lot of work on yourself, and the first thing to do is to give an objective assessment of your behavior at the moment. A look from the outside helps a lot in such a situation. This will help you understand and analyze all the errors that exist. bad habits, committed wrong actions and their behavior in general. After that, you can safely take up the "work on the mistakes."

Etiquette is a universal human morality, a set of rules of behavior in society: addresses, greetings, manners, clothing. Manners are forms of human behavior. The essence of etiquette is respect for other people.

Once upon a time, the rules of good manners in communication or the rules of etiquette were one of the subjects educational program at school. Children were taught this science and strictly controlled how well it was mastered by them, tutors were responsible for raising children. There are currently no tutors or related items in school curriculum, and the need for teaching elementary politeness is still high.

Let's try to figure out what belongs to the rules of good taste and we will strictly follow them.

RULE ONE - KINNESS

One of the basic rules of good manners in ordinary, everyday life is courtesy in relationships, the ability to greet people without unnecessary demonstrations, the ability to congratulate you on a holiday, express sympathy or wish you good health, as well as the ability to thank you for the service rendered to you.

In addition, the concept of courtesy assumes that the incoming one lets the one out, and he, in turn, holds the door, if necessary, the man walking next to the girl always lets her forward, with the exception of descending the ladder, exiting the elevator and public transport.

Despite the fact that some prim manners have long outlived their usefulness, for example, closing the car door after a girl before getting behind the wheel, helping the ladies when getting out of the car still does not hurt.

RULE TWO - APPEAL FORM

The correct address to another person, acquaintance or not, is an important part of the rules of conduct. Thus, the rules of conduct adopted in society state that only children under 18 years of age, close friends and relatives can be addressed as "you". All other strangers, even if they are younger than you or are of your age, should be addressed only as “you”.

In addition, it is customary to switch to "you" when strangers appear and to call a relative or friend by the name and patronymic, including when it is inappropriate to demonstrate familiar or family relationships in society. The transition from "you" to "you" should be appropriate and tactful; as a rule, it is initiated by a woman, a person older in age or position.

If absent people are mentioned in the conversation, they cannot be spoken of in the third person - "they" or "she", even if these are close relatives it is necessary to call them by their first name or by their first name and patronymic.

There are three types of address that are used in different situations:

• official - citizen, lord, madam, and also the titles and titles of the people represented are used;
• unofficial - by name, in "you", brother, dear friend, girlfriend;
• impersonal - used when you need to contact a stranger. In these cases, use the phrases "sorry", "let me", "I beg your pardon", "prompt" and so on.

It is unacceptable to address a person by gender, occupation or age: a woman, a man, a plumber, a seller, a child, etc.

RULE THREE - MAINTAIN THE DISTANCE

The rules of human behavior in society presuppose the observance of the correct distance between the interlocutors. There are the following generally accepted communication distances:

• public distance - when communicating with large groups of people, it is more than 3.5 meters;
• social distance - when communicating between strangers, between people with different social statuses, at receptions, banquets, etc. from 3.6 to 1.2 meters;
• personal or personal distance - for everyday communication between familiar people, ranges from 1.2 to 0.5 meters;
• intimate or sensory distance - for communication of very close people, the entrance to this zone is allowed only to a select few, it is less than 0.5 meters.

At the same time, it is important that each of the interlocutors always have the opportunity to freely exit the conversation, hold the person by the hand or the lapel of the jacket, and also block the passage during the conversation is considered unacceptable.

In addition, it is important to choose suitable topics for conversation, they should be interesting and pleasant to both interlocutors and should not affect personal affairs. Interrupting the interlocutor, correcting his speech and making comments is considered unacceptable. It is also indecent to observe and gaze intently at the interlocutor for a long time, especially if he is eating.

I bring to your attention a video about the rules of human behavior in society:

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