Nobody goesssip about the secret merits of other people.~ Bertrand Russell Gossip is as old as communication itself. And in the workplace, no one is safe from them. This article looks at some of the ways in which you can fight and disprove workplace gossip.

Steps

Find out what gossip is. Good-natured banter and gossip are different concepts. But how do you understand the difference? Consider the following:

• Discussion... Good-natured banter about others is about referring to people in a general, friendly, and supportive manner. At the same time, the speaker is not obsessed with looking for punctures in the character of another person. He disseminates information about the actual act of a person for further objective conversation, concerning only work, in order to enlighten the listener about information related to work;
• Gossip: This is a discussion to draw attention to the speaker. He will begin to speak in a confidential tone, starting to spread information about someone to be the center of attention and reveal details that will undermine trust and sympathy for the other person. Details are often disclosed in preachy tones. And vicious slander can be the top of the agenda. The part reveals personal details that you would like to know. Gossiping motives include: the need for attention, the bullying of an elephant, exaggeration and self-versus-them psychology;
• False rumors: This is gossip containing general changes taking place at work. Someone started them and they spread like wildfire. This usually happens in conditions of uncertainty and is reinforced by fear, lack of information on the part of management and wild guesses of the employee staff. They are less than gossip that criticizes another person. But they are just as harmful and demoralizing.

1. Don't take work gossip to heart. Most of the gossip at work is just gossip. They are filled with hints, rumors, misleading information and deliberately malicious nonsense. Better to be skeptical about gossip rather than taking it personally or trying to defend yourself. Undoubtedly, gossip should be resolved confidently and immediately, but if you, or the leader of the team, or just a colleague take everything to heart, this will not help the situation. It is better to focus on the reality that lies in the reason or a number of reasons that provoked the gossip. And fight it objectively as a task, without personal attacks. Do not allow yourself to be overwhelmed emotionally and overwhelmed with anger.

   Arm yourself with facts. Is there any truth in the fables told? Sometimes there is some truth. And it must be disclosed before the problem is solved. So you have a good chance of responding with facts, not emotions. This is especially important with the change in gossip control, where wild ideas quickly take root and spread even faster. Look for the facts by asking questions about the right people, namely, those who are able to give accurate and definitive answers. You may also need additional facts from credible sources, such as internal reports, official publications and minutes of meetings, if it is gossip about changes and layoffs, which may mention your answer.

   Assess the context. What type of gossip do you deal with - personal gossip or slander at work? Both types require prompt and confident resolution to prevent staff demoralization. In the next two steps, there is a solution for each type.

   Eliminate gossip at work with speed, support, and honesty. In times of rapid change and uncertainty in the workplace, gossip fuels with fear and anticipated negative consequences. It is important to understand this and be able to separate the fear factor from reality. If you are a team leader, be a source of confidence for the team by acknowledging their fears and concerns. Armed with previously investigated facts, tell them what you really know. Also say what you don't know. And don't come up with anything on your own. When you don't know something, tell them to figure it out. Be the rock that supports the team and defuses gossip.

   Fight the gossip directly. Some people gossip because it amuses them or because they suspect others at work. Most gossipers are just trying to get attention. A persistent and long-term gossip must be stopped by revealing his deception. Look for people who are eager to gain attention, and pay attention to them during the closed session hearing:

   • Tell the gossip that you want to know all about his concerns. Ask him why he is spreading information (which you perceive as gossip). Force him to explain - this will make him realize that you see right through his quarrelsomeness.
   • Also tell the gossip that you are ready to track down the gossip about the person to whom it is directed. So the gossip will understand that the information will surely return like a boomerang. And he will eventually have to backtrack or apologize.
   • Be positive and genuinely try to help the gossip. Engage him in a conversation that will allow him to voice his real grievances and be understood. But insist on arguments. Maybe he's annoyed that he wasn't hired or promoted. Maybe he is angry that the gossip victim has a special task or comfortable working hours that he dreams of. Dig a little deeper and see if there is a fair solution to the problem that can be achieved.
   • Be realistic. If the gossip sees a threat in your direct approach to honest discussion and refuses to go along, be persistent and let him know that the gossip must stop. Usually, confronting the gossip is enough for him to receive a warning to stop or to continue playing his movie. At the end of the day, however, you need to make it clear to everyone that gossip is generally unacceptable at work, letting go of the person who insists on their behavior.
   • Remember the "grain of truth" mentioned above. Although the goal of gossip is to achieve squabbling, sometimes the gossip's idle chatter can indicate weakness in practical work and the person's skills to look out for. Do a prudent little investigation to see if there is a need for team-building, staff training, and other morale-boosting measures you may have overlooked at work. In other words, look for positive sides in a negative situation, which as a result will allow your team to improve themselves.

2. Don't take part in gossip. If you engage in gossip at work, you promote it and humiliate yourself. In particular, if you have leadership aspirations or are among the leaders, any participation in gossip at work will be viewed negatively as an anti-team spirit. Always ask yourself your motivation when discussing people personally and in the context of work. If you talk about them to win over others, or if you want to sound better, then you are a gossip.

3. Establish a gossip-free policy in the company. Staff need to understand that gossip is not acceptable at work. Establish constructive and positive policies. But it is better to show by example what employees should do, rather than tell them what not to do. For example, provide examples of what gossip can be in the workplace and how to avoid such negative interactions.

   • Show professionalism in this matter. Remember this is a workplace.
   • Here are some good words that can stop a gossip:
     • “I’m not comfortable talking about X while she’s not in the office. We’ll wait until she returns so that we can all continue this discussion together.”
     • "I don't think it makes sense to discuss Y. He is not here, and he cannot state his vision of the situation. Therefore, you cannot invent a story for him."
     • "Honestly, I don't like hearing about a person while he is away. What if you are discussing me like that when I am not around."
     • "Would you say that even if Z was here?"
     • "No one is better at work here. Nobody 'just' stands out. If we can't speak positively about each other, it's best not to talk about anyone at all."
     • "As the Spanish proverb says," Whoever gossips with you will gossip about you as well. "
     • "Do not tell everything about your personal life and affairs on the floor / in other departments (especially in open and public places). Do not say where you go and what you do in your free time when you are on vacation / on weekends / on time off - remember, you never know whose ears are eavesdropping on you. "
     • Leave private and confidential conversations for a time when you and the person you are talking to are alone, and no one is listening to you. Personal and confidential conversations must remain PERSONAL.
     • Don't rely on everyone. You never know who to trust, who is truly loyal, and who is just a gossip?
     • If you have an office romance, keep it private and be very careful. Do not give anyone a reason for gossip, especially at work, and always remain a professional in your field. Better to leave private conversations, glances and kisses to yourself, away from prying eyes. Remember that office romances are VERY SUITABLE for gossip (the shark always smells blood)
   • Document any conversations you have with the gossip. You never know when he will start twisting your words to the boss, claiming that you are "stalking" him.

Inna Bolkonskaya, Head of the personnel development department of the Moscow state university Economics, Statistics and Informatics (MESI)

After reading this article, you will find out

• How to find out who is gossiping at work
• 5 tips for the manager how to deal with gossip and intrigue in the team
• How gossip can be useful
• Why do you need a Code of Conduct

I do not like gossip at work, I think that they are disastrous for any business. How to understand who is spreading gossip in the team and how to stop it forever?

Gossip in the teammeetalmost everywhere

However, it is hardly worth fighting all the gossips in a row. For example, almost every company has know-it-alls who can talk endlessly about what is happening in the office. Such people are harmless and sometimes even useful, as they relieve the emotional stress accumulated in employees. Gossip can be from employees who are always dissatisfied with something, or people who are insecure trying to get attention. You also need not be afraid of them: your team members are unlikely to take their words seriously.

But if a respected employee and valuable specialist began to gossip, it's time to worry. He can ruin your reputation by convincing others that your ability is worth questioning.

• Conflicts between employees: why they arise and how to solve them
l & g t;

Gossip at work: how to recognize a gossip

Here are some typical behaviors of gossipers and schemers:

First of all, analyze the possible motives for gossip (change in salary, purchase of real estate or an expensive car by one of the employees, expensive vacation, personal dislike). Further, your task is not to let the conversations turn into intrigues. You can advise the following:

Uncover the cards... If you yourself gave rise to gossip, talk to colleagues, explain the situation and give answers to their questions.

Don't say what you might regret later.... Talk about your colleagues only what you are not ashamed to tell them personally: it is possible that your words will reach them in an exaggerated and distorted form. Not all employees with lower income than you should be frank about large acquisitions.

Don't take my word... A gossip can be a very charming person who intends, for example, to eliminate a colleague he dislikes with your hands. In one organization (a single woman with two children) defamed an engineer in front of the CEO - she learned that the engineer had bought a new car and suggested that he had stolen the money from the company. The General Director, without understanding, dismissed the employee, unsubstantiated accusing him of theft. Subsequently, it turned out that the accountant simply liked this engineer, but he did not reciprocate.

A similar case happened at a trading firm. A sales manager came to work here. He had a family, a car, an apartment, and he succeeded in his work - he attracted his clients and immediately raised sales. A month later, "well-wishers" informed the CEO that a new manager would take a rollback for every deal. The management began to show distrust of him, the staff hardly communicated with him. As a result, the manager quit. As it turned out later, the employee did not receive kickbacks. The CEO especially regretted that he did not understand the situation when he learned that the manager had gone to competitors and his work was bringing them good profit.

• Non-material motivation of personnel - system, methods, examples

Try to negotiate... Talk to your most likely gossiper in private. Do not under any circumstances give out the source of information. Speak without naming names: “I have heard that you are unhappy ....”. To avoid a repetition of such cases, you can say: "I am very glad that we talked about this problem, in the future, if questions arise for me, I am ready to discuss them with you ...".

Fire the gossip and develop a corporate code... Sometimes dismissal is the only option. Let me give you an example. Two long-time economists (women) in the company applied for the position of chief economic department... A quarrel arose between them, which escalated into a fight right at the workplace. To investigate the incident, the deputy General Director created a special commission. It turned out that the employee told the employees of the company about the nuances of the situation in the family of her colleague. The members of the commission decided to terminate the employment contract with the gossip girl. But the second economist was not given a position, having decided that after such an incident she could not become a leader. In addition, HR specialists developed a code of corporate ethics for employees, in which they formulated the norms of conduct in the office and determined the measures of responsibility for violation of the rules, including for spreading gossip.

How can gossip be useful in a team

Hearing gossip can be beneficial for you: you will understand where the wind is blowing and what can be changed. In times of crisis, some managers themselves spread gossip in the team, for example, about bright prospects (even if in reality things are not going well): they report, say, that negotiations are underway with Western investors, production will develop, the company will take a certain market share. All this may not be confirmed, but for some time the mood of employees will improve, and they will not fear cuts or lower salaries.

• HR principles: what to do if employees become impudent

reference

Inna Bolkonskaya graduated from the Moscow Regional Institute of Management (specializing in "lawyer") and the Academy international cooperation(specializing in "manager of the highest qualification in the field of personnel management"). Work experience as HR manager - 15 years. Personal achievements: building organizational structure companies (with more than 600 employees), development of incentive systems (different levels), personnel certification systems, creation of a personnel department from scratch. Prior to MESI, she worked as HR Director of the telecommunications company GDM Group.

3 chose

Conversations on non-working topics are an indispensable companion to almost any office space. However, is it really bad if colleagues are sometimes distracted from work for a short while to discuss politics, sports or the latest theatrical premieres. The only trouble is that in reality employees are much more likely to discuss secretary Lyudochka, accountant Anna Petrovna, and maybe you yourself behind your back. Let's take a look at why gossip thrives in a wide variety of groups, and what you can do about it.

Such different gossip

Gossip is different and spread for different purposes.

It's one thing when they are one of the facets of human communication. Gossipers exchange dubious information without any purpose, but simply out of irrepressible curiosity, the habit of getting into someone else's life and an innate lack of tact. Such gossip is unpleasant, but not fatal. They spoil the mood, but are unlikely to seriously harm a career.

It's another matter when the gossip-distributor is an experienced schemer, and he has a specific goal of damaging the reputation of his competitor. I, frankly, have seen such stories only in films, but, in principle, I admit that they sometimes happen in real life. If you are unlucky enough to face such a situation, you should try to trace the entire path of gossip spread, its source, and then honestly tell your boss about it so that he knows your position.

Who is guilty?

If gossip instantly spreads throughout the collective, it is unlikely that one villain-gossip is to blame. All or almost all employees take part in this process: they listen, believe, pass on. So you can start the fight against this office habit with yourself: not only not to dismiss and not transmit gossip, but also not to listen to them, making it clear to the interlocutor that you are not interested in such conversations. And if you really want to discuss one of your colleagues, do it with people not connected with your work - for example, with family members.

Constant non-working conversations between employees indicate that they have a lot of free time. Practice shows that in those offices where employees are really busy, gossip doesn't even have a second.

What to do?

There are three strategies for dealing with gossip in the office.

Overlook

If gossip cannot seriously damage your career and professional reputation, you should not waste your strength and nerves on it. Just don't listen to these conversations or pay attention to them. Some employees admit that they even flatter gossip. After all, if others talk about you, it means that they think about you. In other words, you are an office celebrity.

Fight

Dealing with gossip directly is quite difficult - it almost always looks like the person is making excuses.

For starters, you need to try to minimize the reason for talking about you. Do not be frank with colleagues and do not conduct personal conversations on the phone within the walls of the office, personal correspondence - through work ICQ. It's always frustrating when you mistakenly send a deeply personal message to, say, your boss. There is one more trick here - gossip is often spread about the most private colleagues, such "office Stirlitz". So, without giving out any serious information to colleagues, you need to create the feeling that you are the most open person in the world and tell others everything that is in your soul.

You can fight gossip ... by agreeing with them. And not just agree, but bring the message to the point of absurdity. Are you accused of having a lover? Parry that there are actually seven of them for every day of the week. Thus, gossipers, firstly, will understand that these conversations do not hurt you and you are not going to make excuses. Secondly, they will see that the gossip sounds rather ridiculous.

Participate

It is believed that fighting gossip in the office is useless. And if the outrage cannot be stopped, it must be led and turned to your advantage. Some executives use gossip as part of their internal corporate policy: they "leak" the necessary information to a chatty subordinate, and it instantly spreads around the office. For example, the rumor that over the next month the IT department will secretly monitor which sites employees sit on, and those who spend a significant part of their time on social networks will face severe punishment. After that, the check may not even be carried out - hardly any kamikaze will come to Odnoklassniki in the near future.

Sometimes ordinary employees try to use gossip as a career tool. For example, a rumor that competitors are trying to lure a valuable specialist can lead to an increase in his salary. True, not everyone can play gossip - for this you need to be a professional office schemer. In any case, we must remember that the process of disseminating information is difficult to control and at any time gossip, even launched on purpose, can turn against you.

And finally, I will note: according to the conclusion of American psychologists, backbiting not only makes some people happier, but also good for health. When people discuss someone's problems or shortcomings, their own self-esteem rises, and the knowledge that someone is not doing well makes it possible to look at their own life more optimistically. Thus psychological condition gossip is improving. Conversely, when speaking well of someone, some people start to feel bad. They compare themselves to the hero of the discussion, his success with his failures, the mood worsens from this, self-esteem falls.

But this is some kind of sad theory. So I, perhaps, will not believe American psychologists.

Why do you think people gossip? Have you had to deal with gossip at work? Tell your stories.

It's sad to know that people are talking about you behind their backs. Since this kind of gossip spreads quickly, it is difficult to find the source of the gossip. For this reason, most likely, you will only spoil the situation by trying to resist people who spread rumors about you. The best tactic in this case is ignoring. Plus, you can try to become more positive and change your outlook on gossip.

Steps

How to work with people who gossip

Don't do anything. You may be tempted to confront the person who is gossiping about you, in which case the best response to their actions is to ignore their gossip. Just think, this person will not be able to say these words to your face. Therefore, you should not give him new topics for gossip. Just stop this vicious circle by completely ignoring the gossip.

Treat gossipers with kindness. Another way to respond to gossip is to cultivate a kind attitude towards people. Gossipers will be confused and perplexed that you treat them so well despite the fact that they gossip about you. Plus, if you're optimistic about everything, gossipers may feel guilty about what they said behind your back.

Set limits on gossip. If you have to spend a lot of time with people who talk about you behind your back, try to keep your distance from them. Remember, you don't have to be friends with them just because you have to work together.

• Be kind, but don't get close to gossipers. Don't tell them personal things that might become another topic of gossip in the future.

1. Think about the gossiper's motives. If your friend or acquaintance started spreading rumors about you, most likely he had his own reasons for this. Most good friends would not spread negative rumors about you that would upset you. If your friend just became a participant in these rumors, try to find out why he did it, and also think about how he could react to these rumors.

   • You can ask the following questions: "How did you know what was going on?" or "What did you say spreading this rumor?" You can simply ask, "Why are you telling me this?" Answering these questions will help you understand the gossiper's motives.
   • You don't have to end your relationship with the gossip. But it would be wise to communicate with this person more accurately. Most likely, this person is not as innocent as he tries to seem. Perhaps he spreads the gossip himself, rather than trying to stop them.

2. Don't gossip. You already know how unpleasant it is when people talk about you behind your back. But if you are not trying to stop it, we can assume that you, too, are to blame for the situation. Some people just enjoy discussing other people's personal lives, but remember that they cannot do this if they do not have listeners (that is, people who share their opinion).

   Talk to someone with authority. If gossip interferes with your work or study, you will need to resolve this issue at the administration level. In this case, a teacher or supervisor will help to deal with this problem.

"Opium of the Oppressed" is how Erica Jong, author of the bestselling Fear of Flight, described the phenomenon of a tainted phone. Often we become the object of close attention of society, which, unfortunately, sometimes gives rise to fantastic stories, almost legends with our candidacy in the lead role. This is quite unpleasant, even if the sources of speculation and their further disseminators are envious or old women, thus spending their timeless leisure. This is annoying, depressing and even makes you cry. How to deal with gossip and whether it is possible to prevent them is the topic of today's article.

As a rule, we learn news about ourselves from people from our inner circle, who consider it their duty to bring to our attention what, for example, Baba Katya said from the second entrance. Although, rumors can take on the form of an impersonal "they are talking about you ..." from the lips of the same acquaintances. Immediately after hearing, emotions prevail over reason and provoke the discredited person into at least four mistakes.

Four mistakes of behavior:

1. Indignation.

This reaction is quite predictable. After all, what was attributed to you is not always true. Either everything was not quite so, corresponding to the truth of only 20 - 30 percent, or it was not at all.

For example, being married, you meet with a childhood friend after many years of separation, sit in a cafe, chat, but by coincidence, your colleague is at the end of the hall, unwittingly turning your table into an observation point. In the evening, your spouse makes you a scene of jealousy, accusing you of treason. And all because of the fact that Angelica from the accounting department has excellent eyesight, rich imagination and a very long tongue. What will you do in the first moments after hearing the accusations against you? Of course, to be indignant, which means to speak in a raised voice, be nervous, and, as a result, harm your health.

2. Excuses.

They follow the outrage. You begin to deny everything and give evidence of your innocence, not realizing that thereby provoking the gossip to further spread rumors and, confirming the saying "there is no smoke without fire." A person who has not the slightest relation to the information transmitted about him from mouth to mouth will never make excuses.

3. Clarification of the relationship.

You are overcome by a feeling of anger and a sharp desire to look the gossip in the eyes. If you can identify the source of the rumor, you pay him a visit and ask the question head-on. Whatever the “storyteller” answers, the conflict cannot be avoided. But what will you achieve with such a rash act? Rumors, most likely, will stop, but you will make an enemy for yourself one hundred percent. He will quietly hate you until negative emotions again begin to pour over the edge from an overabundance.

4. Revenge and threats.

The natural desire of the gossip subject is to do something nasty in response. But you cannot respond to the dirty trick with evil: this way you will disturb the snake's nest even more. The same applies to threats: starting a war with the enemy, you thereby turn on the green light "to continue the banquet", provoking the enemy more and more. After all, he "feeds" on your negative reaction, becoming on energy level stronger than before.

and how to behave:

In fact, you need to behave differently: do not swing the sword, challenging the gossip to a duel, but, armed with a shield, skillfully reflect the attacks of the enemy.

Instead of resenting, stay calm. Better yet, show indifference as opposed to a stormy showdown. You can also ironically support rumors about yourself by adding some juicy detail. The one who told you the news about you, like the gossip writer, will understand that rumors do not make you worry, which means that this method of influence is useless.

Never make excuses, because it puts you in a humiliating position. You will not restore your reputation in the eyes of the public in this way. Is it worth trying? Is it clever man, all the more who knows you well, will believe some rumors of dubious origin? And to prove something to gullible people who have hung their ears is not worth it. Appreciate those who don't give a damn about gossip about you: they are your strength.

Sink to threats and vengeance? Well, I do not! The person weaving around you with a web of public lies is simply NOT WORTHY for your attention. And generally speaking, folk wisdom reads: "If they talk about you, then you are still alive", that is, you stand out from the crowd, because gossip about gray mice is not spread.

A quote from the French writer Jules Renard comes to mind:

"Never repeat what you have not heard yourself."

To prevent gossip from touching you, you need to learn how to keep your mouth shut. Unfortunately, the tendency to condemnation has firmly established itself in human nature - only saints can live without saying a word about their neighbor ...