Pay attention to noise. I am annoyed by loud noises, or why I can't stand the noise. How to negotiate with noisy neighbors

Yana, good afternoon!

My letter is based on this letter, which was from a girl with a strong sensitivity to sounds, light and smells.

I was always quite disturbed by noise - it is very difficult for me to concentrate when there is a noise nearby, especially “meaningful” noise interferes - conversations or when someone speaks on the phone, chatting on a talk show on TV, songs in Russian. Also, I cannot sleep when it is noisy, and I wake up if there are some loud noises. I don't like background noise, I don't have a TV, I turn on the radio or music only when I want to listen to the radio or music, otherwise I prefer to spend time in silence (I live alone). This is a preface.

Several years ago, after I graduated from college, my parents bought me an apartment in a newly built house. We did some renovations and I moved there. And pretty quickly it became clear that the house was built of shit and cardboard - literally EVERYTHING that was happening with the neighbors was heard (later I talked with construction specialists who knew how this house was built, and they told me that the internal floors in the house were made on very cheap and, as a result, very bad technology.) From time to time, noise from neighbors interfered, but it was tolerable. Until a few months ago new neighbors moved into the apartment above me, and then my life just turned into hell.

No, not some alcoholic drug addicts with nocturnal brawls settled there, not music lovers party-goers with loud music. An ordinary family with a child - the child is not a baby, just a small one. But they make noise continuously. They talk loudly - so that you can almost make out the words, the child rushes around the apartment with a loud stomp and deafening screams, and throws toys on the floor, they have something falling all the time, furniture moves, they often have companies with friends and children, and then the children carry and shout in the crowd. All this continues until late at night. It is impossible to have a quiet evening at home after work. After several times there was such a situation - I go to bed, fall asleep, something falls with a crash at the neighbors, I wake up, somehow I fall asleep again, a child rushes from above with screams and stomp, I wake up again, and after that already I can't sleep at midnight - I just stopped sleeping normally. I have already failed an important exam twice, because because of the noise the night before, I did not get enough sleep and could hardly think, and I can hardly work, because I do not get enough sleep all the time. I just hate these creatures already.

That is, my cuckoo has not quite gone yet, and I understand that people do not make noise on purpose in order to ruin my life, they just live like this - loudly, and this is such an unfortunate coincidence that the house is so poorly built. But this does not help in any way with the fact that my quality of life has deteriorated very much because of this.

I talked with the neighbors about the noise, got answers: "Achotakova?" and "we have the right to 11 pm." Well, yes, they really do. When they were making noise at three o'clock in the morning, I wrote a statement to the district police officer, as if he had talked to them, although I don’t know for sure - but I don’t even know if they were even fined. At some point, I freaked out, took out a loan, and made soundproofing of the ceiling in the room. But it didn't really help, it muffled the conversations a little, but did nothing with the clatter and rumbling, plus in the rest of the apartment the noise is not muffled by anything, and it also comes into the room.

I can’t concentrate on anything when I’m at home, I can’t read or study something, because I’m sitting all in tense, waiting for the noise to start (even when it’s quiet), and when the noise is heard, it’s flooded with hatred. , and I think: "Let you die, creatures!". Going to bed is now a difficult problem - plugging your ears with earplugs (and with earplugs it is inconvenient, and with some it is generally painful to sleep, I have already tried them a lot), turn on the "white noise" in order to somehow muffle the sounds from neighbors, and then I have another hour or two I'll just lie there, unable to sleep.

I myself understand that this is a bad situation. I even thought about selling this apartment and buying another. In general, if the situation is quite extreme, then why not. But there are many problems here. Buying an apartment in a newly built house means getting a “bare” concrete box without everything, and another million or at least half a million will need to be invested in repairs, and for the next five years all the neighbors will be doing repairs in such a house. with all the hammers and punches owed, and you can forget about the silence too. To buy a "secondary housing" - you still have to redo the repairs, somehow you don't want to live in someone else's. To buy a house so that there are no neighbors at all, neither above, nor below, nor on the side - but it is very expensive, there is not enough money to buy a house from the sale of an apartment. And with all this, selling your apartment - it's a pity, you look back at all this lovingly selected tiles, the lamps that I have been looking for for so long, at all sorts of familiar trifles - and it’s a pity to throw it all to tears. In addition, there is still such a moment. I believe that in a situation like mine, when stress and emotions make you think badly, it is better not to take on such serious things and transactions - it is easy to pick on scammers, not to pay attention to some important point, doing something stupid is dangerous, in general.

On the other hand, I also understand that this noise from neighbors, which is such a big problem for me, someone else could simply not pay any attention, live peacefully and sleep peacefully. I read your posts with envy, Yana, when you write that your cats jump at night, and you hear everything, but at the same time it does not bother you to sleep. Well, let's say, if my cat was mad at night, it would bother me, but when he runs around like elephants during the day, it doesn't cause me any irritation, because this is “my own” noise - and not the noise from strangers that I have to listen to forced, because there is nowhere to go.

In response to the letter I mentioned at the beginning, you write that you can “teach” the brain not to “hear” a certain noise. That this can be learned if you do it consciously. I think that in general it would be useful to me in general - it is far from always quiet at work, and sometimes you have to sleep on planes, trains or hostels, where the silence is far from ideal, in general, there are many situations where such a skill could be useful ... But I live in the provinces. We have never heard of any neurofeedback schools here, there are no good psychotherapists, and I don’t even have money for classes with a psychotherapist on Skype. How to approach to solve this problem on my own - I still have no idea.

I would really like you to say your view of this situation, well, and maybe suggest something, because you, Yana, always have a very sane view of things. Sorry the letter is so long.

Best regards, N.

Hello!
Yes, of course I am in favor of learning to live next to the noise, and not suffer from it. Especially considering the fact that the noise surrounds you, this is a fact, but it is quite harmless. Those. yes, small children can really jump like elephants. But a small child, as you said yourself, is not a horde of drug addicts. And they will meet you everywhere. It is very difficult to live if every sound disturbs you. Somewhere there will be children, and somewhere there will be a tram under the window, a city, a road, an old house with sounds. Earplugs and nerves cannot be saved.

Accordingly, yes, you have to somehow wean yourself off hearing this.

The most important thing is that I know for sure that it is possible !!!
I am not a neurologist, I don’t know how to do it consciously. But I know that the body has such a mechanism, and it turns on very well in many situations.

For example, among others, tram rails run parallel to our house, and every 10 minutes a tram runs in both directions. I don't really hear it, but my mom has these rails right under the window. She hasn't heard any of this for a long time, even in the summer, when she sleeps with open door to the balcony.

I also know people who live very close to the airport, and have long ceased to hear airplanes flying by the window. And the trains are not heard by the people living near the roach. Do you remember how many times I wrote tragic articles about how people "sniff" something? And they do not feel, for example, that their house smells like cats, or mice, or some kind of rotten stuff. Or that they themselves smell. And you have to leave the house for a very long time, so that the scent is renewed, "and began to feel this smell again.
I once read the explanation for this phenomenon. Allegedly, we are accustomed to reacting to what by nature is sewn into us as "danger". For example, it smells rotten, this is an important signal, because rotten can be poisoned. And when the brain registers that it smells of this particular rotten stuff all the time, but no one is poisoned, it turns off the reaction to this "dangerous signal" so as not to get nervous again.

It seems to me that the answer to your problem lies somewhere in this. You yourself wrote that if your cats were running, it would be "your" noise, and you would react to it differently. Accordingly, here's your task: try to teach your brain that neighbors are also "your" noise.

In fact, I do not react to the usual trampling of cats, because I am used to nothing bad following this. They run roughly the same route, and after a certain number of laps they calm down. And I know that this happens every time, after which everyone falls asleep. So nothing in me pays attention to it.

I mean, if my cats suddenly make some unusual sound, I really wake up !!! Moreover, I wake up and jump up, even if the sound is quite quiet, sometimes it's just a rustle, or something like that. But this is unfamiliar - it is not clear what is falling there, and on whom, and where. Therefore, anxiety turns on. And I do not notice the usual. Those. the secret here is to somehow persuade your brain not to pay attention to the sounds that you already know all about.

In general, here I read all sorts of books about the work of the brain, and they often say that the brain (oh, miracle!) Fully understands the human language! This means that some things can literally be said to him! And he will understand! With just these words, as we say, he will understand. There are only some minor nuances. For example, that the brain supposedly does not perceive the word "not". Therefore, the brain does not need to say "just not to get sick", it can be understood exactly the opposite. And you have to tell him "I'm afraid to get sick" or "I really want to be healthy," something like that. And in general, appeals to the brain should be formulated short, simple and unambiguous. Considering that he is a very lazy brute, and on every occasion he is stupid, out of laziness.

However, you can try talking to him! Soothe him (and yourself). Tell him "These are not dangerous sounds. It all falls in someone else's apartment. It all happens outside my house. It is all safe for me. I am safe in my apartment, I feel comfortable and comfortable here!"
You can even persuade yourself that your favorite apartment is your fortress, and in general is the best remedy out of fear. You yourself wrote how you love her, how you have chosen everything for her with love. So remind yourself how good you are here. Tell yourself something about your apartment - that walls at home help. That at home you are brave and calm. (Only without the "not", do you remember?) :-))

Honestly - I would try to persuade myself literally with words at home that you feel good there, there is no danger, and there is nothing to be nervous about.

Moreover, try to say something positive about the noises you hear. It's just a child up there! The same joy, in fact, that he is not a drunkard, not a psycho and not a bunch of drug addicts. And a child, so alive, cheerful. So healthy. Soon he will grow up and jump less. By the way, if you forget everything, you won't even notice how 10 years will pass in this apartment. And if you and your neighbors live in harmony, maybe they will happily live above you for another hundred years. And they will not be replaced by any much more terrible ones. And there are not thieves, not bandits, but just some young parents. In short, tell your head all the best about what you hear. And - that it poses no danger.

Because we pay attention to something precisely because of this. Because our body sees in this some kind of danger, and is worried.

You can also try to work with your anxiety globally. Psychotherapists say that if you dig up the cause of some kind of injury, this often cures it by a large percentage! And about this hypersensitivity to sounds, they write that most often the reason there is generally banal - once in childhood they frightened with very loud sounds. Something suddenly rumbled nearby, clapped a firecracker, yelled in the ear. The man got scared and he has an injury. Or maybe someone was yelling and making noise. when did you threaten to punish? Or some sounds, maybe not even very loud, preceded some kind of traumatic event? For example, this is how neighbors jump behind the wall - something rumbled dully behind the wall, and then you found out that someone fell, got hurt, or maybe even died? Or maybe someone once scared (or intimidated) you with some kind of horror that sneaks up on, and at first you can only hear it?

Or vice versa - maybe you were offended at school, sneaked up from behind, and did something bad to you. And you could not hear about the approach of danger in advance, because it was noisy around? And now you personally listen to every rustle?

Try to delve into your memory - maybe you will find some such events in the past? If it works out, then it's already easy. Do you have logical thinking... (And logic heals fears very well.) You can talk to yourself about the fact that no one else is sneaking up on you now. And no one offends you, and no one yells at you, and does not make noise, and does not go from knocking on the table to throwing furniture and people. Or whatever frightened you - it is no longer dangerous to you, or it is no longer in your life at all. Maybe this will help?

And also - it's good when you yourself are not sitting in complete silence. And it is not necessary to suppress something with "white noise". Include something interesting. There is a trick - there are many activities that can be combined with listening to audiobooks or watching TV series. At the same time, it is often the series that you can not watch, because there you quickly figure out who is who, and then it is enough to listen to the dialogues. But you need to find yourself something that you like and are interested in. For example, where you like dialogues. And to turn on this series or book is not very loud. Do not try to overwhelm your neighbors. And to make it so that it was heard, but it was necessary with some effort to listen to what was happening there. Then "all your ears will go there," i.e. the rest will be overlooked.

In the evening, when everything becomes quieter, you need to do everything that you have turned on, quieter. (Most people do this instinctively, because the general background is reduced, and the person himself does not want to disturb anyone, and the loud sounds seem even louder to him.) So, by the night, maybe this something will play quite quietly ... And many sleep experts have recently been writing that it is not at all shameful to fall asleep under this. If you are calmer with such a "buhtelka" under your ear.

Sometimes, by the way, sounds can be "drowned out" not only by sounds. For example, some people hear better in the dark. (Because there are no other stimuli.) Try leaving some dim lamp on that doesn’t interfere with sleep. Maybe thanks to her, audibility will decrease (because there are other experiences that occupy the reserves of the brain). Or maybe (again) you find out that with complete darkness everything is somehow very frightening to you. So sleep in incomplete darkness until the nervous system calms down and learns to sleep soundly and deafly.

I still have no ideas on how to calm my agitated brain and distract it from the fact that it hears too attentively. It would be great if these thoughts of mine could somehow help you. And it would be even better if the readers had more tips!
And if you somehow cope with this problem - share it with us? Because I think that you are not alone, and there are many who would like to stop hearing the world around so strongly.

How not to be distracted while reading is probably of interest to all readers. Each person at least once was distracted from reading a book. Everything is natural, if interest in a business is lost, then the human brain switches to other things. In order to stay focused while reading, you should do concentration exercises.

Exercise 1:

Imagine what happens if you don't read the book you want. Present the painting in negative tones. Now imagine what happens after you read the book. How the world gets better.

Exercise 2:

Clear your brains from debris. Enter the state of thinking nothing.

How to avoid distractions while reading - fighting noise

Reading performance is greatly affected by ambient noise. External noise, both single and continuous, has a very large negative impact on reading productivity. It will be no longer just about lowering the level of attention while reading, as it was above, but about switching attention from text to another object.

Very often external noises distract from reading: they irritate or, conversely, carry away to such an extent that the book is sometimes put aside. It is with particular pleasure that we switch our attention away from the book (and are ready to do it at the slightest opportunity) if we do not like the material we are working on. Being constantly distracted by external noises, the reader gets used to working with relaxed attention, fosters inattention.

The factor of external noise and its effect on memorization of the text

The external noise factor while working with a book is objective (after all, we cannot change, for example, the noise conditions in reading room), but also subjective at the same time: you can change yourself by learning not to react to noise as a hindrance to reading. In order to “not listen to the noises,” you need to learn not to evaluate the noises that you hear, not to process them.

If you are distracted from reading by the noise behind the wall, you can no longer concentrate and put the book down. Try turning on the TV, and it will distract you from the noises that have recently interfered, your irritation will be replaced by a pleasant state. You will forget about the noise that annoyed you, get distracted from it and, even after turning off the TV, you will not pay attention to the noise for some time, although it will continue. You can hear the noise, but not listen to it. Thus, the unpleasant was replaced by the pleasant. Shifting your attention temporarily has protected you from the effects of noise.

How to turn off external stimuli when reading books

One of the ways to disconnect from extraneous noise, learn not to react to them while reading, is the tennis ball method developed at the School of Rational Reading.

This method is based on the principle of double switching of attention. The tennis ball method, as practice shows, is universal: almost everyone who used it learns to be distracted from external noises and stop listening to them. If the reader, using the tennis ball method, has trained himself to be automatic, then the fight against noise will be carried out already at a subconscious level, without distracting consciousness from comprehending the content readable text... For such a reader, 1-3 seconds is enough to get rid of the annoying noise while reading. After that, all attention is again focused on reading.

Fast reading. How not to be distracted when reading To get more complete presentation about speed reading technique, sign up for full-time courses, however, you can learn how to speed read on your own. Improve your reading experience and spend less time researching documents. Follow the tips and you will increase your productivity. Reading types Super slow reading. A detailed study of the document is pursued - for example, the study of legal documents. Leisurely reading - for example, a work of art. Preliminary reading. When to get an idea of ​​the document you have read Speed ​​reading. How to read text in speed reading mode By acting in accordance with this scheme, you will reduce the time spent searching for the information you need. Read the introduction carefully. Review chapters 5 through 10 that are of interest to you. Pay attention to examples and highlights in the text. Review the passages of text that you find important. Read the index. Understand the thesaurus and concepts that are covered in the book. Think how much the content of the book is similar to the content of previously studied documents. Write a text review or letter to the author. Read the author's examples. How many examples are repeated? Does it appear that the author of the text has borrowed the content of the document? Review the introduction to each chapter, read the last page of each chapter. Read the table of contents. Get a general idea of ​​the content of the book before reading it. If you are studying a text of a reference nature, then you need to study selected places. Therefore, the described reading strategy is very useful. How to read documents and articles First, you should look at the places in the text where the conclusions are indicated. And then, read the document. In this case, the essence of the article will be clear already from the first paragraph. Study the presentation of the text, the overview, the first few paragraphs, the introduction. Study the conclusion or a few final paragraphs. Study carefully the places that seem most important to you. Scanning reading. Using the subconscious while reading. When a person reads quickly, he does not understand individual words, but immediately phrases. scan the page with a diagonal movement of your eyes. As soon as you feel that you have found something interesting, then move on to regular reading. Notes in the margins. Take notes as you read. Write down questions to the author of the text. You are not wasting your time. Thanks to the notes and the formulated questions, the studied text is fixed in the mind. If the document and the new information are thought out, then you do not need to return to it anymore. In the process of reading a book, mark important places with a marker, underline keywords. Look for alternatives to reading

TENNIS BALL method

One of the most common hindrances to deep reading is ambient noise. The conversation of neighbors in the reading room, the crying of a child in the train, the sound of a working TV behind the wall makes it difficult to dive deeply into the meaning of what you are reading, especially if you have to read something necessary, but not very interesting. As a rule, attempts not to pay attention to external noise are not only unsuccessful, but, on the contrary, lead to the fact that after a long struggle with the noise, the reader begins to analyze what he is hearing, distracting himself from reading. ("All the time they talk about diseases, as if there is nothing more to talk about!", "Why don't parents pay attention to a crying child!" Etc.). Gradually, the reader's irritation grows, and he already has to cope with his own state.

Exist effective method countering such impediments to reading - the "tennis ball" method.

The "tennis ball" method is based on the use of certain processes occurring in the human brain.

You can imagine the human brain in the form of a platform on which bonfires are burning - centers of excitement caused by the analysis of various information simultaneously entering the brain: the reader comprehends the content of the paragraph - this is a big fire (most of the attention is paid to comprehension), in the room where the reading takes place, hot - this is the second fire, but small, because so little attention is paid to the perception of this that the reader almost does not feel the increased temperature. With the approach of lunchtime, another bonfire associated with the feeling of hunger appears and more and more flares up, and so on. Such small bonfires (small parts of attention) light up from all the sensations and thoughts associated with clothes, shoes, the convenience of a posture, lighting, physical or mental fatigue, etc. the desire to concentrate, nevertheless switches attention to noise, distracting from reading. So at the moment, the main attention is switching from comprehending the text to noise as the main focus of brain excitation. In this case, the following conditions are met:

1. The more actively the thought processes proceed, the greater the total amount of parts of attention paid to the simultaneous analysis of all stimuli (external and internal), i.e. themes more number bonfires.
2. An increase in attention to some stimuli is accompanied by a decrease in attention to others (some kindling fires take away the energy and fire of others, reducing them).
3. That part of attention grows (that fire flares up), which is aimed at the actual event at the moment. For example, if during reading you remember that now there is a program on TV that you definitely wanted to watch, then the success of further reading will depend on what you consider more important (relevant) at the moment.

Therefore, if a small fire appears on the site with a large fire (caused by the comprehension of what is being read) (corresponding in magnitude to irritation due to interfering noise, and this fire is not extinguished, then it is possible that it will light up, absorbing the energy from a large fire, and even can extinguish a large fire, so that this does not happen and the "tennis ball" method is applied.

The essence of the method is as follows: having caught himself that he involuntarily begins to listen to an external stimulus, the reader mentally:

1. Puts a spacesuit on his head;
2. Imagine audible noise in the form of tennis balls flying from noise sources;
3. Imagines the bouncing of balls hitting the suit and hears the sound of clattering from the blows.

All this must be done while reading, without ceasing to comprehend the content of the text. As a result, part of the attention gradually switches from an external stimulus (noise) to tennis balls, and then to comprehending what is being read, i.e. there is a double switch of attention. As soon as you start training, guided by this method, in the very first stages of work you will feel positive changes.

The "tennis ball" method (ITS) works as follows: with the appearance of a small but dangerous fire (that is, as soon as the distraction from reading to external noise begins), the reader artificially creates a new and large enough fire caused by the bouncing of tennis balls from the spacesuit ( that is, considerable attention begins to be paid to the suggestion of the representation of the spacesuit and the balls bouncing off it, as well as the suggestion that the reader hears the sound of their clatter). As a result of the relevance of this process at the moment, a new fire begins to grow by pumping energy from other fires. This leads to a decrease and then attenuation of the fire corresponding to the external noise.

And at the same time, the bonfire will decrease, corresponding to the comprehension of what is being read, which is undesirable, but forced. After adjusting the strength of the fires for some time, the reader deliberately focuses on the reading process (i.e. begins to fan the fire, corresponding to the assimilation of what is being read, at the expense of the fire, corresponding to the representations of the spacesuit and the ball). Thus, over time, attention more and more switches to comprehending what is being read and less and less remains on tennis balls and even more so on external noise.

Thus, although the regulation of the centers of excitation occurs in the brain at the subconscious level, nevertheless, through training, practicing certain exercises, you can achieve switching the main attention to the object you need.

The "tennis ball" method allows you to:

1. To switch attention from the main stimulus to the worked out ideas until the termination of the comprehension of the stimulus.
2. To transfer the attention focused on these views to the main work:

To use the ITS, you must first practice the ability to quickly and easily call:

1. Feeling of a spacesuit around the head;
2. Introducing tennis balls flying towards the suit from a noise source;
3. Presentation of balls hitting and bouncing off the spacesuit;
4. Perception of the sound of the clatter of balls hitting the suit.

You can learn this step by step as follows:

Stage I

Learn to quickly evoke and sustainably maintain the sensation of a spacesuit around your head by repeatedly visualizing the spacesuit in your mind. A space suit or a shell can be of any color, size and shape, choose for yourself what you like best, but there are two indispensable conditions: it must be transparent and light.

Stage II

Learn to visualize tennis balls flying from a source of noise and dissolving in your head. The balls should be lightweight, of any color, and small in size. They must fly slowly. As soon as one ball, having reached the head, dissolves in it, another ball immediately flies out from the source of noise. (For example, if readers at the next table interfere with their conversations, then you need to imagine the balls flying out of the place where these people are sitting). Where and how exactly these balls are born does not matter. The balls should fly out regardless of the volume of the noise and its frequency (for example, if the creak of a door bothers you, then as soon as the next one is heard, you immediately imagine a ball flying from the door. After the ball dissolves in your head, you imagine the next ball flying from the same place, regardless of whether the door continues to creak at the moment or not).

Stage III

Combine the previous two views and add an auditory experience. you need to imagine a spacesuit and balls flying out from a source of noise, reaching the spacesuit and bouncing off it, and at the same time hear a clear clatter from an imaginary impact of the ball on the spacesuit. Next, follow the bouncing ball until it disappears into infinity and also imagine the flight of the next ball, etc.

It is possible not to force the first balls to bounce, but to pass them through the spacesuit and, only starting, for example, from the fifth, imagine their bouncing.

The first and second stages can be mastered alternately within two weeks. And only after you learn to clearly imagine the spacesuit and the balls separately, you can start combining them and train for another two weeks.

There are, of course, readers who can work fruitfully even with any noise. Some of them even believe that it is better to read with music or with the radio or TV turned on.

Experts, based on experimental data, believe that everyone should work in the conditions to which he is accustomed. But nevertheless, in order to achieve the highest productivity of mental work, they advise creating silence, but not absolute, but relative. A slight hum, the rustling of pages in the reading room (of course, in the absence of chatter at the next table) contributes to the best assimilation of the text. It has been shown that it is more difficult to maintain attention in complete silence than in a weak monotonous noise.

The ability to isolate attention from external noise can be another of your requirements for improving the culture of reading.

Oh, those noisy neighbors chasing the wall on Sunday morning. And loud music, and screams ... Well, do not drink valerian because of this every day! How to stop being nervous about noisy neighbors? The exact advice on how not to freak out is given by Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology.

Low stress resistance is to blame

The main reason for worrying about noisy neighbors and in general for the slightest reason is low stress resistance. Online healers and psychologists suggest that you stop worrying and increase it with the help of a variety of practices, meditations and drugs to strengthen nervous system. All this affects only the consequences of the problem.

The psyche, all the time loaded with the containment of inner pain and dissatisfaction, loses its stability. The safety margin is not enough to cope with even the smallest stress. A little pressure - a sudden noise - is enough and the calmness disappears. Life seems unbearable even with noisy neighbors.

Tormented by fears? Can't calm down before the exam? At work, do you have a hard time restraining yourself so as not to scream? And you can't rest at home because of noisy neighbors? This is a signal from the psyche about internal problems. That natural talents are not fully used, and desires are not realized.

How to stop worrying about noisy neighbors and feel the joy of life

Man is born to be happy. He wants to enjoy life every minute and stop worrying about noisy neighbors. In order to achieve pleasure, a person is given desires. As well as the properties of the mind and body, necessary for the successful realization of these desires. The more often a person experiences pleasure, the more stable the psyche and the higher the stress resistance.

There are simple pleasures (like eating), but enjoyment from them is fleeting. Completed work, mental or physical, brings deeper and more lasting satisfaction and helps you become calm.

As Yuri Burlan explains at the training "System-Vector Psychology", owners of different vectors will be helped by various ways to distract themselves and stop worrying about noisy neighbors. This will not increase your resistance to stress for a long time, but it will be the first step, it will give you a temporary respite to collect your thoughts.

Step one: stop worrying and worrying

For an organized and flexible person with a skin vector, a jog or dance class is a great stress reliever. Exercising will fill your brain with endorphins and help you spend time with health benefits.

It will help solid and serious owners of the anal vector to find balance and no longer be nervous about noisy neighbors - fishing or a family trip to the country. Any handicraft or houseplant care will do. In general, everything that requires attention and concentration. This is a great chance to pass on your knowledge and experience to children.

Sensitive and thoughtful owners of the sound vector suffer more often than others from noisy neighbors due to the special sensitivity of hearing. Yes, a keen ear and focus on meanings form the basis of the life of a sound engineer. A concert of classical music is a relaxation for his ears and sensual pleasure for the boundless universe of his inner peace... Earplugs can come in handy at night.

Step two: increase stress resistance

Any irritation to the world arises from an incorrect assessment of the situation. We suffer from misunderstanding of ourselves and ignorance own desires... But even more suffering is brought about by a total misunderstanding of others and ineffective interaction with them.

Can you feel joy for the noisy neighbors from above, who are walking the wedding for the third day? Can! Even if by 7.00 to work. You can also admire the stormy play and squeals of children on the playground, remembering yourself at this age. To do this, you need very little - to understand yourself. Understand the difference between yourself and others.

Life gives a person thousands of opportunities to be happy. Don't waste it worrying and worrying about noisy neighbors. Awareness of innate properties and desires, the embodiment of which fills life with joy, involuntarily arises at the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan. The stable result of the training is the acquisition of stress resistance in any situations, even in the conditions of real military operations. This is confirmed by the results of people from Donetsk and Lugansk who have undergone training:

“... From the results - first of all, I can say that I have become a much more balanced person: if earlier I could behave ugly and incorrectly in some situations, for example, arrange a violent unbridled hysteria or take offense at someone for a long time and gloomily, then now I adequately respond to all external stimuli. As a result, my relationships with family and friends have improved. I know how to avoid quarrels with them, and in cases where a quarrel does occur, I know how to behave so as not to aggravate the situation, as it used to be, but, on the contrary, to level it out ... In general, I can say that I have stopped fool around nerves. In addition, I began to feel much more confident in communicating with people ... "
Anastasia M., linguist St. Petersburg

"... Relations with others have improved ... I began to understand people ... And even to justify them ... Nerves returned to normal ... I stopped being angry for no reason ... Relations with my beloved opened from a completely different side ... There are many, many more things that I don’t remember now ..."
Kirill U., Kazan

"... From a hot-tempered person I turned into a calm one, it became more difficult to piss me off, my former irritability disappeared ..."
Andrey G., Arkhangelsk

The easiest thing to do is not to get nervous in silence.

It is a fact! But the world around is full of movement and is ready to open up in front of you, bringing joy and satisfaction from the very process of Life. One has only to listen, focus on what is happening around. Yuri Burlan's free online training "System Vector Psychology" will tell you what to look for.

The article was written using materials from Yuri Burlan's online trainings "System Vector Psychology"

Instructions

The human hearing aid perceives sounds in the range from 20 to 20,000 hertz. Everything from above is ultrasonic vibrations of waves. In everyday life, it is customary to measure the intensity of sounds in decibels. T.N. The "pain threshold" for the ear is about 130 decibels.

Various noises can irritate hearing, especially at night: fans, various industrial technical devices, construction equipment, passing vehicles. According to the norms, the noise level in the premises during the day should not exceed 40 decibels, and from 23.00 to 7.00 in the morning - 30. Normal conversation, quietly turned on music is about 40-45 decibels.

Alas, it is problematic to insure against "unauthorized" noise: the hum of planes, the roar, the claps of fireworks, the din of dinners at neighbors' are uncontrollable and unpredictable. However, you can protect yourself from excessive acoustic pressure in certain noise environments.

Note for yourself: the noises constantly surrounding people (for example, in the house) are different. Ordinary noise is the so-called "airborne noise": speech, music, TV and radio sounds, dogs barking. "Impact noise" - sounds that occur when a noise source directly affects the structure of a building. "Acoustic noise" appears as an echo and is characteristic of empty rooms. Absorbed by furniture, carpets, and other interior items.

Effectively "air" and "shock" noises can be extinguished only by finishing the premises with sound-insulating and noise-absorbing materials. The process is costly: you will need soundproofing of both the ceiling and walls. Sometimes it is preferable to take care of the sound protection of the floor of the neighbors upstairs than to plan work with your ceiling.

The following materials have sound insulating properties: concrete, expanded clay concrete, gypsum. Among the noise-absorbing materials are cork, basalt wool slabs, other mineral fibrous materials, porous rubber. Due to its high density, autoclaved cellular concrete combines the properties of both sound insulation and sound absorption. The small air bubbles of a closed structure contained in this material allow it to effectively absorb and damp sound waves.

To make the apartment quieter, check all possible channels for the propagation of noise from neighbors. These can be flaws in construction work: poorly sealed openings for laying wires, gaps between the door and the door frame, niches in hard-to-reach places in the bathroom, ventilation window designs. Experts will tell you which cement mortars and ready-made building mixtures are best used to fill voids.

Noisy neighbors are a scourge for families, especially in city apartments. A misfortune equivalent to the notorious "roads and fools". Note that the quality of roads in the country is improving, reducing the statistics of accidents, but the degree of the question - how to stop being nervous about noisy neighbors - is growing.

And what can we tell each other about here? About the notoriously sad Friday evening, when you fall asleep anxiously, as if before an exam. Or about Saturday morning, on which we can be woken up by the gentle singing of a neighbor's drill. Another dream to get enough sleep - collapsed! To tell about the night, when whitewash is falling from the ceiling, a heavy metal rumbles in my head and it turns out to fall asleep only by dawn. Parents of cute, two-meter teenagers left for the country. Better a drill in the morning ...

You can think of noisy neighbors who scandal at different hours and days of the week, notifying about the time and place of the next adultery and betrayal. You can listen to it once. But the drunken voices screaming behind the wall for years ... are unbearable!

"Noisy neighbors? No need to worry and be nervous "

Friends and relatives tell you. “What are you, really ?! Well go and say whatever you think! Scare them with police or fines! Get together as a team, write a letter ... You just need to stop being nervous! Yes, grab this boy and twist his ears! At work, so, it happens, experience after experience, I want to calm down at least at home! Where, if not at home, to strengthen the nervous system ?! "

So the neighbors are making noise ...

It is possible to stop worrying if you turn on the drill in spite of half past midnight to hang the shelf. Or should we loudly turn on Alfred Schnittke or late Paganini at night and go for an hour in a blizzard ?! Noooo. For some reason, the advice of a friend or a psychologist does not help either. Do you still know any other ways? Have you tried it? And as a result? That's just it - noisy neighbors! ... probably this is not cured?

How to stop being nervous about noisy neighbors ?! Saw, Shura, saw !!!

It is possible to stop being nervous about noisy neighbors. Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology will help to learn this. According to her, people are born with certain groups of mental properties - vectors.

As Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology says, understanding what is behind the desires and properties of this or that person, it is quite easy to say a lot about him. For example, determine his type of thinking, the purpose and meaning of life, and even sexuality. Reading a person like an open book, you can interact with him in such a way that it is comfortable, first of all, for ourselves.

For example, you see a person with an anal vector in front of you. This is inherently the owner of the family: good hands, he does everything in the house himself. Yes, slowly, repairs take years, but high quality and forever. Perfectionist. Meticulous and judicious. Family, home is sacred. The meanings of life are also - the value of the past, help to comrades, respect and honor. Mom is the most main person in life. By the way, he is most likely an avid fisherman. And as a child, he probably collected stamps, badges or postcards.

It is in these keys that it is worth negotiating with him. Shake hands as a sign of respect. To say that your MOTHER (or children) are sick now and they need silence. Catch and stop drilling. If at the meeting you talk about fishing, bring up the topic of returning old textbooks to school for children, or the importance of the quality of work, experience, then make friends. For a person with an anal vector, it is not a question to fulfill any request of a friend, a good neighbor (for example, to agree at what hours to make noise)!

Noisy neighbors will make me crazy

There are people for whom silence is vital. Loud sounds increase hostility to the world around you. The activity of the subcortex, already exhausted by endless thoughts, is excited, concentration is disturbed and a person is ready to jump in a loop, even from the roof, if only the hubbub of noisy neighbors would stop. These are people with a sound vector. They suffer the most and at the same time are silent, experiencing semantic storms inside.

For a visual vector, emotionally excitable, sometimes at the slightest excuse, noisy neighbors can cause panic attacks. The fear of death is their root fear, from which numerous phobias arise. To freak out, swaying emotionally, for them is like breathing. If in your family one of the children is endowed with these features, do not be surprised that they seem to be experiencing everyday problems that seem to be common for others much more acutely. Help them stop worrying, it is really vital for them.

How to negotiate with noisy neighbors

Let's remember your standard " crusade»Up to negotiate.

Firstly, we are no longer just on edge, but practically boiling. We persuade ourselves not to be nervous, but we ourselves are ready to scream and scream out of hours or even days of accumulated anger.

Secondly, trying to restrain overflowing emotions, we deliberately find ourselves in claims and grievances, we stumble over words and get confused in the sense of our own speech. By doing this, we introduce the interlocutor into reciprocal aggression. Negotiations with a positive result will not work.

Therefore, the first rule - do not have to wait long and endure. Challenge yourself to calm down before this conversation. Second - try to find out exactly who lives above you (on the side) and why regularly violates public order... Third, it is necessary to determine systematically - who exactly is in front of us, what vector? Who will you negotiate with? For example, if it’s a skinner, it is necessary to talk in the sense of benefit-benefit and law-order.