How to take the first step towards a girl - basic principles. How to make the right first step towards the goal I have to take the first step

Remember how often we buy a new gadget or book that should help us become better. It seems to us that we did something important and approached our goal, although in reality we just wasted money and time.

We take the wrong first step if:

• buying new sportswear instead of starting to exercise;
• buying a new computer instead of starting to write a book on the old one;
• we take on new project when you haven't finished the previous one yet;
• we read reviews of new cameras, although we do not use the one that we already have.

Buying shouldn't be the first step towards your goal. After all, even if you buy a new thing, you still need to force yourself to use it first. It is quite possible that after the purchase you will realize that you do not really need this thing.

1. Do the hardest

Deep down, we almost always know what we're avoiding. It is this action or decision that is often the most important for achieving the goal. But time after time we are distracted by false first steps. To move forward, you do not need to buy something new, but do what seems to us the most difficult.

2. Think like an entrepreneur

Rather than investing in an untested idea, good entrepreneurs look for the least viable solution. Then they check if it works, if it is interesting to people, and at an early stage identify the flaws of their idea.

If you rarely pick up your camera, a new expensive camera will not turn you into a good photographer. You need more practice. Chances are, you don't even know exactly what features your old camera lacks.

The best solution in this case is to train with what you already have.

3. Strengthen the habit before spending money

If you are not even trying to achieve something using the resources you already have, but immediately want to buy something new, stop and think about the situation. Try to break out of the loop.

It takes time and effort to change.

Find a simple activity that you can do on a daily basis that will help you reinforce the habit you desire. For example, if you want to start running, don't buy new running shoes right away, but try going for a walk every day for a month. Once the habit takes root, you will really notice the difference from your new shoes and want to improve further.

4. Rent the equipment you need

To avoid cluttering your home and wasting money on a false first step, borrow or rent the equipment you need to help you reach your goal. You are unlikely to postpone using it until later, because it needs to be returned. And in the process, you will understand whether you really need it and whether it is worth buying. This will save you time and money.

5. Don't be afraid to make mistakes.

The best way to understand what you really need is to try and be patient. As you try to get things done, you’ll learn to ask the right questions and find the answers, and you’ll do better the next time. Only in this way will you understand what needs to be done to move on.

Of course, we are all afraid of failure, but acknowledging that fear will help you get things done. Instead of buying new book diet or a new camera and then blame them for your failures, try to admit that mistakes are a natural part of development.

Photo Pixabay.com

To reach the goal, you need to take the first step at least. But besides this, it is necessary to choose a path that will give strength and lead to the earliest possible implementation of the plan. Entrepreneur, life-strategist Evgenia Tarasova told how to decide on something, even if it is very scary, and to be able to go from inspiration, and not through pain.

The first step towards the goal: what is the problem

Everyone knows the adage that any path begins with the first step. That is, all that needs to be done is to start your personal movement towards an idea, a goal, a dream that you have cherished for a long time. But in reality, everything turns out differently. We find 1000+ reasons why we are not ready yet: quit our unloved job, start a new project, talk with a partner about relationships, make a financial plan for our well-being, start a business, start running, and so on.

The most common reason for postponing the first step is the desire to be sure that you have made the right decision, that you are not mistaken, that the steps that you have planned will definitely lead to your goals.

Fear of failure is most often behind all this.

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We want guarantees. To be sure. And in no case do we want to put up with the possibility of error. We do not want to waste time and energy. We need to be 100% sure, and then we can take that very first step.

And behind all this, more often than not, there is simply a fear of failure. "What if it doesn't work out ?!" And now the worst thoughts about the consequences are tormenting my head.

How to take the first step

I managed to build a successful career as a top executive in a large company. But I would never have achieved this if I sat endlessly in my office and searched for the perfect strategies. Let what I say below remove the illusion of an ideal path from your soul.

Any set of actions will lead you to a result if:

• you will keep focus on the ultimate goal;
• you will take new and new steps, regardless of the trajectory of your path;
• you will be flexible in accepting responsibility for any intermediate result.

How to decide to take the first step:

• Make an action plan based on your current state of affairs and resources.
• Take your first micro step today without delay.
• Keep locators ready to find the best strategies.
• Allow yourself to make adjustments to your original plan as you move forward.
• Enlist the support of an environment that is on the same wavelength with you.
• Allow yourself to be wrong, take it as mandatory part paths.
• Be sure: the moment you take 1 step, reality begins to move towards you 2 times faster

Ways to Achieve Your Goals: Pain or Inspiration

There is a theory that there are two main ways of personal development: from pain and from inspiration.

The Way From Inspiration - Satori

With this approach, a person seeks new opportunities, strives forward even when everything is fine. This is following inspiration, inspiration. Often this path is closely intertwined with intuition.

The path from pain - Kensho

This is when a person begins to develop only after a severe recession, pain. He can live for a long time with the desire for change, but he himself does not initiate them, waiting for an extreme situation, when it will be simply nowhere worse. With this approach, a person learns from mistakes, suffering and pain and thus becomes better than he was. This is the path of constant stress.

Until you align those areas of life in which goals come from pain, your resources will go nowhere.

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Take a look at your list of life goals and note which of them are set from "pain" (to save, align the current situation), and which - from "inspiration" (to improve what is already there).

• If goals are set from inspiration, this will strengthen them, speed up their implementation. And this is a welcome situation, a reference point for everyone. You can praise yourself if all your goals are from inspiration.
• If goals are set for pain, this is a beacon. I recommend looking at which areas of life these goals come from, and focusing on them in the next month or two.

It is important to understand: until you align those spheres of life in which goals are now coming from pain, resources from other spheres (where you are doing well) will go nowhere, literally absorbed by the spheres "with problems."

For example:

You stop playing sports, go to bed late, drink little water during the day, and even use sweets every day to raise your mood - pretty quickly you will feel a strong sagging in your health, shape and your energy.

If you do not take measures in time (return regular sports, water, sleep and monitor the amount of sugar), you will find yourself in the "even worse" cycle. Doping will be required more and more. Even larger sizes of sweets will be used, coffee will become a necessity, a breakdown will be filmed by endless serials, and dissatisfaction - uncontrolled purchases.

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How do you take the first step? Why are we afraid to act?
L. A. Seneca once said: “ Take the first step and you will understand that not everything is so scary "... And this is absolutely true, because the first steps are difficult because they are outside our comfort zone, and the consequences of our actions can be unpredictable.

When we want changes in any area of ​​our life, be it career, finances, health or family, we often face the same problem - we need to act. Everyone knows that it is difficult and unusual only at first, but it is at the stage of action that many people stop. We can plan, ponder, drag out the preparatory stage and insure ourselves for a long time, but as soon as we need to proceed directly to action, we feel that we are "stuck". The reasons can be very different. Someone lacks enthusiasm, someone lacks ambition, faith in their own strengths and abilities. Many people are afraid of failure, they are afraid of the consequences of their own actions. Some are unable to overcome laziness, although laziness is nothing more than a lack of sufficient motivation or an elementary body need for rest. Each of these reasons or their combination has a decisive influence on our further actions, and often life.

It is important to remember that everything unknown is always regarded by us as difficult, incomprehensible and sometimes dangerous. Therefore, day after day, we postpone the implementation of our plans. Fears rooted in our past or imposed by others only add fuel to the fire. As a result, we hesitate, coming up with various excuses for our inaction, and time passes and nothing in our life changes. A familiar situation, isn't it?

In fact, one of the main reasons why we do not dare to take the first step is lack of sufficient motivation ... As a rule, we do not realize the full importance and benefits of the upcoming activity, we cannot connect the need for simple daily actions and our ultimate goal... What I mean? Let's take a look at one example. You have set yourself the goal of learning English, because you want to communicate freely with people during your travels, or knowing the language will help you climb the career ladder. You know what you want, have decided on how you can achieve your goal, and now comes the turn of concrete actions. And what? Often, it all ends with the fact that you open a grammar book a couple of times or any site dedicated to learning of English language, and then your activity will come to naught. Why? You yourself know the answer: it has become boring ... Only especially persistent and purposeful people will continue to go towards their goal, they will not be stopped by the routine of the process of learning a language, as they will find a way to make it more fun and interesting.

However, this article was not written for this category of people. It was created to help the vast majority of those who have life goals and a desire to do something important in their life, but who find it difficult and often just scary to take the first step towards their dreams. What to do, you ask? First of all, determine how important a specific goal is for you. Let's go back to the example about learning English, so it will be easier to understand the algorithm of the necessary actions. Ask yourself, do you really want to know the language? What are the benefits for you personally in possession foreign language? Are these benefits important to you enough to devote at least 30 minutes a day to learning? How will achieving this goal change your life, and will it? Answering these questions will help you realize how motivated you are to achieve your goal.

The next reason for your inaction is the so-called "laziness"... Laziness is a state when you either do not have sufficient motivation to perform some activity, or you are tired and the body needs rest, so it can be difficult to concentrate to get involved in this very activity. Obviously, we enjoy doing something much more fun and enjoyable. For example, spending time with friends, watching TV, playing computer games, spending time on various entertainment. After all, such activity does not require additional efforts, it is easy and comfortable for you. Remember, the process of achieving a goal always implies getting out of the "comfort zone and familiar environment", because this is the only way we learn something new and develop as a person.

Another equally important reason for postponing decisive action is fear... Fear of failure, fear of uncertainty and uncertainty, fear of criticism, fear that life will change with each new step, and so on. Let's say you want to create your own business. Have you decided on a concept, written a business plan, and? What's stopping you? Fear, of course. Fear of losing your investment, wasting time and effort, criticism and negative predictions from loved ones, fear of failure, fear that if you suddenly succeed, your life will no longer belong to you in full, as it is now. You can probably feel discomfort at the thought that you will have to work a lot, sometimes seven days a week, especially at the startup stage, that your life will be subject to a schedule, and so on.

What to do? Consider now all these reasons for inaction, what impact they have on you, which of the listed fears are relevant for you. In order to take the first step towards the goal, you need not only to be highly motivated, but also to be aware of the possible consequences of your actions, to accept the most unfortunate outcome in advance and determine what you will do in this case. It also helps you draw yourself a diagram of step-by-step actions that you will take to achieve your goal. For example,

Old traditions do not easily become obsolete. You can be three times a modern woman, lead a department of 50 people, ride a bike, and if necessary, without batting an eye, deal with the electrical panel ... But you don't have the courage to be the first to approach the man you like. Because it is not accepted. What will he think? What if he doesn't like me? .. Maybe these fears really have a basis? Or is it time for the desperate and confident Amazons of our time to take the initiative in relationships into their own hands?

The stronger sex is traditionally assigned the role of a hunter. Even if the man you are interested in is engaged exclusively in peaceful office work, he prefers checkers to all kinds of sports, and at his spare time he grows gladioli, offensive actions are expected from him. It is he who should show interest, make efforts, charm, conquer and conquer you, feigned inaccessibility! When a man does nothing for a long time, it is confusing. Most girls in such a situation decide that they have nothing to count on and humbly await a more adventurous knight.

But the indecision of your chosen one does not always mean that you have nothing to catch here. Men have many of the most different reasons take your time with the first step.

• Another woman. If he already has a girlfriend and changing her to a new one is not included in the man's plans, nothing can be done. Immediately switch to other applicants for your heart, so as not to waste time.
• Timidity. Yes, a hefty guy with a slanting fathom in his shoulders and brutal stubble on his chin can be just as afraid to approach a woman as a high school student in love. And the more he likes you, the longer the man will walk in circles, waiting for the right moment and gaining courage.
• Complexes. It is generally accepted that only girls tend to look for real and fictional flaws in themselves. A man, they say, considers himself an enviable prize always - with a beer belly, bald patches and the last hundred in a leaky wallet ... Nothing of the kind! The stronger sex also has plenty of its own cockroaches, from which neither good looks nor an enviable position in society can save you.

If a man does not show signs of sympathy for you, this does not mean that he does not like you.

• Inertia. If a man is a recognized handsome man, utterly spoiled by ladies' attention, he may simply not be able to look after. And why, if potential girlfriends themselves are ready to line up?
• Hard break. It may be so: he just broke up with a previous girlfriend with a scandal and is afraid to repeat the same experience with you.
• Fear of relationships. Perhaps the man understands that a casual relationship is not what you need now, but he is not yet ready to offer something more.
• The desire for a serious relationship. The exact opposite situation: if a person has already "matured" to the idea of ​​starting a family, then he will approach the choice of a life partner very carefully. Give time to look at you and evaluate your positive qualities.
• Cunning. He noticed you for a long time, appreciated you and even managed to attract your attention. And then he went into the shadows for a while to intrigue even more. And what, an effective tactic!

Of all these reasons, only the first or the option in which the man really did not like you is absolutely disastrous. It happens, because there is no dispute about tastes. You can, of course, repaint from blonde to brunette to please the preferences of the capricious gentleman and launch a real campaign to conquer him. But will the result be worth the effort? After all, you cannot order your heart. But in all other cases, something can and should be done.

How to take the first step by yourself

• Show your interest. If at every appearance of the chosen one you put on a mask Snow Queen and you hide your feelings with all your might, you can wait for active actions on his part until gray hair... Friendly "Hello!" instead of the impersonal "Good afternoon", the joyful "Oh, and I was just thinking about you!" and a sincere smile are the first means of seduction.
• Watch your postures and gestures. If you are pinched, shackled and resemble a schoolgirl on the exam with an unnaturally straight back and folded hands on your knees, the desire to communicate with you will quickly disappear. Relax your shoulders (but do not slouch!), Casually throw a strand of hair from your forehead, cross your legs and play with a shoe ... Let the man understand that it is easy and calm for you next to him.

The protruding corner of the collar is a great excuse to touch its owner once again

• Touch. Brush a speck of dust off his sleeve. Correct your badge if it happens at a conference or meeting. As if by chance, in thought, touch your hand. If a man feels even the slightest inclination towards you, such things do not go unnoticed for him.
• Arrange a casual date. Do you know that he loves serious music? Tell them enthusiastically: a concert of the orchestra under the direction of Spivakov is taking place in the neighboring city, and you intend to visit it! The interlocutor will certainly readily offer to keep you company. Interested in history? Loudly complain that you have been dreaming of seeing the reconstruction of the Battle of Kulikovo for the third year, but you just cannot gather like-minded people for the trip. But try not to make it look pretentious! If yesterday you called the reenactors idiots, and today you are inflamed with a passion for their work, it will look at least strange.
• Ask for help... Two rules: choose an area in which the man is well versed and do not be too intrusive. A one-time service will make him feel like your protector-savior, but constant requests will tire you and make him think that you are using him.
• Learn to listen. Scarlett O'Hara's recipe "to talk about him, and then gradually, imperceptibly transfer to himself and then stick to this topic" has not been working for a hundred years. Ask questions, insert notes on the case so that the interlocutor does not think that you fell asleep during his monologue. Laugh at the jokes! But don't overdo it. Fake enthusiasm for completely banal childhood stories will surely raise doubts about your sincerity.
• An option for those who are not at all quick-witted: be direct about your feelings. But not in the style of "I love, I can't live without you!" Such recognition will not cause anything but tension, and it will put both of you in an unpleasant position. Say something like, "I like you," and see how the man reacts to it. If your feeling is not mutual, you can always act back and pretend that it was about a friendly affection.
• If you feel that you are not indifferent to him, distance yourself for a while. You have already taken the first step, now it is the man's turn.

Whichever path you choose, take care of yourself before taking decisive action. A beautiful hairstyle, perfect manicure and fashionable, tailored clothes will add to your self-confidence and, therefore, attractiveness.

When is it better to do without taking the initiative?

Sometimes the best solution is not to take the initiative.

• He has a girlfriend. Words about happiness that are not built on other people's tears are not invented from scratch.
• A man favorably accepts your signs of attention, but does not try to show them himself. Or he sincerely considers himself a gift, which you will be obliged to serve for the rest of your life in gratitude for having condescended to you. Either he considers you as a temporary option - since I am still free and there is a woman who is not indifferent to me, why not spin a non-binding romance?
• In your heart you understand that you are not created for active action. Well, not everyone takes the city by storm. Instead of clenching your teeth and breaking yourself, return to light female flirting. In skillful hands, this is also a terrible force!
• Your interest in this person has arisen recently. What if the relationship starts, and the feelings cool down after a week? We'll have to hurry to look for another article called "How to Take the First Step to Break"!
• The man clearly has sympathy for you. Give him a couple more days - you look, and he himself will decide on something.

Video: how to understand that a guy likes you?

The first step is almost the most an important event in the life of the baby and his parents. Remember these admiration and pride phrases of your friends and acquaintances: "We went today!" Of course, you are also looking forward to this moment, which will undoubtedly change the lifestyle of your baby beyond recognition. Therefore, you need to immediately deal with all the questions and concerns that may arise. This is what we are going to do now.

One of the main questions related to the first step: "When, in fact, should children start walking?" Here we are immediately ready to dispel any doubts and fears you have, because there is no specific age when a baby should do this. It all depends on his build, ability to keep balance and, of course, the help of his parents. As a rule, children take their first steps between the ages of 9 and 15 months, so there is no reason to worry if at the age of one your child has not yet learned to walk on his own.

How can I help a baby taking his first steps?

First, let's refute the common misconception that what earlier child learning to walk the better.

In fact, this is not at all the case. The kid will be able to walk fully only when his muscles are strong enough and ready for a heavy load. That is why it is believed that at first it is better for the baby to learn to crawl - this is how the musculoskeletal system will prepare for the future load. However, for the first step into a big life, the baby simply needs the help and support of the parents.

Therefore, now we will consider how we can help our children in these endeavors.

Using curiosity

Your baby actively learns the world, wants to see and touch everything, so why not use the child's curiosity as a stimulus for the first steps? Attract the attention of the little one with a bright toy or a rattle, but put it at some distance. To reach her, the baby will be forced to get up, taking the first hesitant steps. However, you need to help him and put a chair or ottoman next to it, to which the baby could hold on.

We repeat after the elders

We all know well that kids take an example from their elders and repeat literally everything after them. That is why during a walk it is necessary to draw the child's attention to how adults or older children walk. After that, your baby, not wanting to lag behind others, will definitely want to try it himself.

We refuse walkers!

Experts believe that walkers are harmful to babies, because as a result of their use, a child may experience postural disorders, defects in the development of the foot and lower leg. In the walker, the baby is in a sitting position and does not strain the muscles, so they do not help him to take the first independent step. It is much more useful to learn to walk on your own. Then the correct posture will be formed, and the muscles will develop evenly.

We motivate to move

For a child to learn to walk faster, he must move as much as possible. On walks, do not keep the baby in the stroller, help him feel the ground with his legs and take the first steps with your help. Take toy cars or special wheelchairs for a walk that would encourage the baby to move. Also, try to give your child more independence as they move around their room. Create impromptu obstacles from the pillows, overcoming which the baby would begin to train his musculoskeletal system.

Protecting from dangers

Before teaching your child to walk, carefully inspect the room for sharp corners, outlets, or other dangerous things that could injure the baby. Watch the baby carefully, because this is the only way you will protect it from injury.

We are not afraid of falls

Remember that a child cannot learn to walk without falling. Therefore, do not make a tragedy out of the fall, as this can only scare the baby and discourage him from learning to walk. Encourage the baby in any situation and try to convey only positive emotions to him, because without falls there are no ups!

How to choose the right footwear for those learning to walk?

Parents should pay special attention to shoes for a toddler who is just learning to walk. During this period, the arch of the child's foot is not formed; there is a small fat pad on it. In addition, the baby stands on tiptoes a lot, runs and jumps.

For the home, ordinary socks are the ideal option, which give maximum freedom of movement and do not injure the forming foot.

For the street, special shoes are needed, because there the baby can easily get hurt. For such cases, there are conventional or orthopedic shoes. In orthopedic shoes there is a hard heel, a high instep support and a Velcro fastener that securely fixes the shoe on the foot. To determine which shoes are right for your little one, we advise you to consult a doctor.

Which diapers are best for babies taking their first steps?

Babies who take their first steps are very active, so standard diapers are no longer suitable for them. Especially for such cases, thin panty diapers have been created that do not hinder the movement of the baby and help him learn to walk faster.

The Japanese company Goo.N, which has won the trust of millions of parents around the world, offers some of the most comfortable panty diapers on the market today. Choosing diapers of this company, you can be sure that the baby will freely comprehend this world, and nothing will interfere with his first steps:

Goo.N diapers-panties fit perfectly to the waist and legs, which completely prevents leakage even during the most active activities. They are made of soft and delicate elastic fibers that do not cause irritation.
Many mothers are faced with the problem of diaper rash in children, especially in winter and summer, but diapers from Goo.N are completely devoid of this drawback, because they are made of breathable materials that allow moisture to evaporate outward.
The Goo.N diapers-panties stretch perfectly and are easy to put on, so you can change them in a matter of seconds without any problems.
Plus, any mom will especially love the handy full indicator to alert you when diapers need to be changed.
A pleasant addition is the fact that the panty diapers are equipped with a technology to neutralize odor after use.
Goo.N truly cares about babies and their mothers, making diapers from the most comfortable and delicate materials.

Summing up, I would like to note that each baby is individual, so no one can say with certainty when your little miracle will begin to take its first steps. However, it is the parents who can make this event unforgettable by instilling faith in the baby's own strength and giving him their love.