How to deal with pain in the soul. Heartache. How to deal with mental pain? Heartache What is heartache

Each of us at least once in life faced with such a condition as mental pain. It can occur after the death of a close, dear and beloved person. Also, mental pain visits us when parting or parting with a person who is very dear to us. Mental pain appears when our personal self-consciousness suffers, we feel bad and our mind is looking for some way out of this situation.

What is heartache

Is there an organ in our body called the soul? Any doctor will say no. But why does it hurt then? In fact, mental pain manifests itself in the discomfort of consciousness, in violation of the integral "I". When it is difficult for you, it hurts, you do not want to accept a life situation and put up with it, your soul refutes information from the outside.

With mental pain, the heart contracts, as if in a vise, it becomes difficult for you to breathe, your eyes are clouded, and your thoughts are concentrated on only one situation in your life. Mental pain does not allow a normal life, work, study. With severe mental pain, a person stops any social life, he closes himself within four walls and endlessly thinks, thinks, thinks ... Perhaps he is wondering if everything could have been different, could he have prevented the current situation.

The human soul is like a living being that gets sick during a period of serious emotional upheaval. And this soul, of course, must be treated so that it does not die. After all, if the soul dies, a person becomes cold, indifferent and angry at the whole world. This cannot be allowed.

Causes of mental pain

Mental pain can visit us in different life situations.

1. The loss of a loved one causes great emotional pain. At first, a person cannot come to terms with what happened. He denies what happened in every possible way and does not want to accept it. Gradually, his consciousness accepts and puts up with what happened - this is the next stage of experiencing what happened. A person learns to live without the deceased, builds his life without him. All stages of suffering from loss must be gradual and consistent in order for a person to get rid of mental pain in the required time frame.
   Usually, grief passes in a year of absence of a loved one and a loved one. After that, there is humility. Even in religion there are rules according to which one cannot cry for a long time for a dead person, because "he becomes ill in the next world." Whether this is true, no one can verify, but long suffering, indeed, will not lead to anything good.
2. Parting with a loved one. This is also one of the strongest experiences. When a close loved one leaves, the world collapses, as well as all the plans for a life together. It is important not to forget the reason for the breakup. Did he leave you? Then why do you need it? If a person could not consider all your virtues, you should not run after him and humiliate yourself. There will be someone who appreciates you. And if you left him, then do not forget about the reasons why you made such a decision. Every time you think about his “beautiful eyes”, remember why you decided to leave.
3. Illness of a family member or friend. It is also quite a strong and painful feeling. Especially when the disease is serious. Mental pain gnaws at any stage of the disease, especially if the child is sick. Parents experience incredible guilt. It seems to them that they could save, secure, notice minor symptoms earlier. The feeling of guilt for neglecting the child gnaws from the inside. In this case, you need to try to pull yourself together, and tell yourself that you are not to blame for anything. It could happen to anyone. And in general, you have every opportunity to return a sick person to his former life. Be strong at least for his sake. And don't stop fighting.
4. Betrayal. When a betrayal of a dear and close person occurs, mental pain envelops all the insides. This is very difficult to bear. This is not only about adultery, although this is also, of course, a betrayal of pure water. A close friend or relative can also betray. After betrayal, the main thing is not to get angry at the whole world and not to harden. You need to accept that people are different and you got not the best copy.
5. Humiliation. For a person, this feeling is another catalyst for severe mental pain. Children suffer when parents punish them undeservedly and unfairly, a wife suffers from a tyrant husband, subordinates tiptoe in front of a demon boss in fear of losing their jobs. Such destruction of the personality can be found all the time, it has a very strong effect on the psyche. The raped woman experiences the strongest emotional experiences - emotional pain remains with her almost until the end of her life. Getting rid of such an experience is not easy, because each time we scroll through the events of the ill-fated day and remember everything in detail. Any memory is like a knife pierces our heart. In this case, you need to understand that you are not to blame for the current situation, you were just a victim in this case. Find the strength in yourself to accept this case and step over it. Become stronger and prevent what happened later in life.

These are the main, but far from all, reasons why a person may experience mental pain. Anything can happen in life, because life is a series of good and bad moments, and you need to be able to cope with the negative.

1. First and foremost. After you have suffered, accepted and experienced the situation, you cannot be left alone with it. You can’t close in on yourself and suffer, suffer, suffer. Your family, friends and relatives should help you with this. They should always occupy you with something interesting, exciting. Try not to sit at home, go out for a walk, just wander around the city. Four walls won't cure your heartache.
2. If your pain is mixed with anger, it needs to be poured out. Are you angry at a specific person, situation, life or destiny? Buy a punching bag home and hit it as much as you want. So you can throw out your emotions and experiences.
3. Animals are considered the best remedy for mental pain. They are incredibly easy to relieve anxiety, worries, stress. Instead of a melancholy cat, it is better to choose a perky dog ​​that will not leave you sitting still. A trip to the dolphinarium will also be effective. Dolphins have a unique ability to energize and give the desire to live.
4. Forgive and ask for forgiveness. If guilt is the cause of your heartache, repent. Ask for forgiveness from the person you offended. Conversely, if you are angry with someone, stop doing it. Mentally release the person and be glad for the situation that has happened. For example, if you were betrayed, understand that it's good that it happened now, and not many years later. If you were offended undeservedly and very strongly - let go and believe that fate will reward the offender according to his deserts and avenge you.
5. Get creative. After all, mental pain creates a gap and a void that needs to be filled with something. Drawing, dancing, music, singing, embroidery helps to cope with emotional experiences. You will be able to throw all your pain into this activity and get rid of it forever.
6. Constant self-destruction can lead to a real disease of the body. So stop blaming yourself for what happened. Try to get rid of mental pain through physical activity. An excellent choice is running. While running through the alleys, park or forest, you can be alone with yourself, listen to music and finally understand what exactly excites you. Another real way to relieve stress is swimming. The water will take all your worries away with it. Physical activity releases positive hormones that help you deal with emotional stress.
7. There is another way to get rid of worries and pain. Write everything that worries you on paper. All your tears, worries, worries - everything that makes you suffer. And then burn your letter and scatter the ashes to the wind. This psychological technique will make you mentally let go of your emotional state.

How to prevent the return of heartache

Some people like to suffer. They have not experienced experiences for a long time, but they are satisfied with the role of the victim. But we know that you are not like that. Therefore, by all means try to get rid of mental pain forever.

Don't make an icon of your loss. If you are faced with such a terrible situation as the death of a loved one, survive it with dignity. In order not to return to the past every time, give away all the things of the deceased, leaving something for yourself as a keepsake. It is not necessary to leave the room in the same form as it was "with him / her." This will make you suffer even more.

If you broke up with your love, you do not need to leave all your joint photos in the room in the most visible place. It brings you back to worries and anxieties, to the days of a past life. If you really want to get rid of heartache, get rid of this pedestal of sacrifice immediately.

Mental pain is characteristic of everyone, because we are living people with our own feelings and emotions. If your soul hurts, then you have it. Do not dwell on your shock, try to move further into the future. Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger, remember that.

Video: how to overcome heartache

We all know well and often recall the comforting joke that if the head hurts, it means that it is. The same could be said about the soul. Moreover, unfortunately, in relation to the soul, the converse statement is also true: the soul, if it exists, at least from time to time necessarily hurts. For loved ones or from their own sorrows, long and quiet or strong and piercing. Is it possible to identify mental pain with the recently fashionable diagnosis of "depression"? Yes and no. On the one hand, psychologists are really engaged in the restoration of subtle spiritual harmony, whose field of activity even bears the middle name of soul-searching. On the other hand, long before the advent of this area of ​​science and medicine, with mental pain, people turned to clergy and simply wise people. And all because the soul is such a special part of each of us, not so much the body as the personality. And even when it clearly hurts, it is impossible to touch, stroke and “operate” on it.

Therefore, it is necessary to stroke and heal the soul in other, more subtle and more complex ways. And very personal. After all, just as there are no two identical souls, there cannot be equally effective “medicines” for them. And even each new pain requires a new careful and individual approach. “In this case, is there any point in the existence of the corresponding science, since there can be no standard methods in principle ?!” - you might be surprised. We answer: maybe. Because for all our originality, we are all people, we walk the same land, breathe the same air and worry about similar things. Therefore, psychologists are both needed and important. But it is possible that in this or that situation a frank confession or a sincere conversation with a close friend will bring much more benefit than a whole course of psychotherapeutic sessions. Here is how to find your personal way and how to get rid of mental pain without additional moral wounds, we will try to figure it out today. And, if you don’t give definitive answers, then at least find that thread that you can pull to unravel the heavy tangle that has shrunk in your soul.

What hurts during heartache
Soul - does it even exist? Or is it just an imaginary, completely ephemeral substance, invented long before the advent of modern scientific possibilities to explain processes incomprehensible to our distant ancestors? But how then can something that does not exist experience such obvious painful sensations and cause severe suffering! To answer this question, one will have to look at pain (any - external and internal, physical and mental) not as an unconditional evil, but as a kind of mechanism created by nature with a reasonable purpose. This purpose is to give us a signal that something has gone wrong - in the body, in the thoughts or in the life. This failure may be very small and imperceptible at first, but if it is ignored, it gradually turns into vague anxiety, anxiety, then fear. Fear gives rise to heavy thoughts, and they, in turn, stir the soul, squeezing it and making it hurt.

At different times, people were looking for (and found!) Different means of getting rid of mental pain. First, in the church, which saw the cause of heartache in sin and prayed for its remission. Later - at a reception with psychologists who materialistically deny the existence of the soul and use other tools. But the essence at the same time was and remains unchanged: an inexplicable feeling that eats a person from the inside and prevents him from enjoying life has visited everyone at least once. And, regardless of worldview, level of education, religious preferences, national and gender characteristics and sphere of activity, everyone somehow searched for their own way of deliverance. Because otherwise, mental pain can completely paralyze consciousness and deprive the meaning of life. But if you treat it as a symptom that reports some other problems, then you can and should pull yourself together in time and seek help. But to whom? With a bad tooth we go to the dentist, with a broken leg - to the traumatologist. To whom to carry the aching soul? Unfortunately, there is no unequivocal answer, as well as a professional doctor of the soul. But you can listen to yourself and become such a doctor for yourself. And a psychologist, confessor and / or a loved one in this case will help and support you on this path.

Effective treatment for mental pain
Contrary to the stereotype, waiting is not always the best cure for the soul. Time really heals, but sometimes this treatment is too long and does not exclude the possibility of relapse. Mental pain is caused by a variety of reasons, and therefore the means of deliverance are also diverse and multifaceted. But there is a certain “golden code” that can be the basis for anyone seeking to get rid of mental pain as soon as possible. To do this, several conditions must be met. In our version, there are 12 of them - because this number is considered magical or at least positive. Who knows, maybe it is the magic of the number that will partially help alleviate the mental pain. And if not, then nobody canceled the harmony of numbers, aesthetics and just the order of things. Follow it:

1. Drive away the negative. Do not keep it in yourself and do not accumulate it for hours, days, weeks ... Find a way to get rid of what is eating you from the inside, throw it out. Speak out, cry out, even scream. You can do this alone, but it is better together with a very close understanding person. Don't be afraid to stress or offend him. A truly close person will correctly understand your condition and try to alleviate it, take away some of your pain or help you release it. And even the very presence of a kindred soul will surely make your soul feel that it is not alone and can count on reliable support. If such arguments do not convince you, then listen to the statistics regularly published by psychology publications. According to her, the hushing up of the situation, endless self-digging and digging in one's own difficult thoughts only exacerbates the condition that we called mental pain. Simply put, this is a huge burden on the nervous system, which can subsequently result in not only psychological, but also physical ailments. Therefore, do not worsen your life even more, do not increase your pain, but spread it to the wind in all four directions.
   
2. Look for the positive. A holy place is never empty, and the liberated inner space needs to be filled with something. But not just anything, but good, kind, bright and constructive. Positive emotions have a truly powerful healing power, and professional psychologists, and soul scientists "of the people", and representatives of religious cults agree with this. And all at the same time, especially looking from such different angles, cannot be mistaken. In a mentally ill state, this can be hard to believe and even harder to do. But think about the fact that everything in the world is balanced. For everything bad, there is always a good equivalent to it. Moreover, even stronger, because life goes on, which means that good always turns out to be stronger and wins. And it's up to us to help him. With its energy, its internal resources. And for this it is enough to concentrate them on positive moments - and water wears away a stone. Do not ignore even the most insignificant, but positive facts of what is happening around: the sun is shining in the morning, and it is not raining, the child brought an excellent mark in the diary, and not bad, the taxi driver did not bother with conversations on the road, but could turn out to be a terrible talker. From these tiny, but inevitable moments, the whole life is formed, day by day. These days pass, but the general emotional background remains. It is important for you, like no one else, that it be with a plus sign. But no one but you can set it up in this way.
   
3. Forgive people that hurt you or indirectly caused your pain. When you forgive, it becomes easier, because you no longer hold the burden of resentment in yourself and do not waste your mental strength on it. But you just need to be able to forgive for real, without deceiving yourself. Find a convincing justification for the act of the offending person, or simply recognize his right to make this mistake. His act is his sin and his karma, and you acquire participation only as long as you yourself want it. Stop being a part of other people's shortcomings, forget them and leave them to their owners. Think about yourself, about your cultivation, and about not doing such things. In the end, just be nobler and wiser, imagine that your forgiveness is a gift that you bestow on the offender despite his bad behavior. This is not the best tactic of internal motivation and it smacks too much of pride, but if at first it helps you cope with resentment and forgive the offender, then it’s better to do so than not at all. Look for your own path, comprehend what happened and, perhaps, resentment will even be replaced by gratitude if you realize that the act of another person has moved something important in your life and launched a chain reaction of changes. Which, as you know, in the end is always for the best.
   
4. Ask for forgiveness, especially in the event that cats scratch at heart and through your fault too. Conscience is an insidious quality. It seems that you can negotiate with her, but then it turns out that she hid in her soul like a cold snake, wrapped her rings around her and whispers to you about what you don’t want to think about at all. And this may well cause heartache, and quite severe - depending on the strength of your guilt. Therefore, do not be afraid to "lose the crown" - ask for forgiveness from the one who is offended by you. You look and you feel better. And even better - try to correct what happened, to make amends for your guilt. How - there is no universal recipe. In some cases, the very repentance and asking for forgiveness will be entirely enough. In others, you will have to influence the current situation and restore what is still subject to restoration. You may even have to look for ways to please your victim with something unrelated to the problem and thereby rehabilitate yourself as a good person. But if you really suffer precisely from the fact that someone was deceived or offended, then such behavior should definitely save you from mental pain, so go for it.
   
5. forgive yourself- it is very important. Sometimes, even after apologies have been received from others, one's own repentance has been made, and the former relations between people have been restored, inner peace does not come, and mental pain does not subside. As it was said in this case in an old joke: "the spoons were found, but the sediment remained." And worst of all, if this sediment remains on your own heart, because in this case, a reminder of a bad incident always remains with you, wherever you go, whatever you do. And only you can get rid of it. And in general, you are the most important and almost the only person who can heal you from mental pain. All the rest are only assistants in this operating room, ready at the right time to apply a bandage of understanding or a clamp of patience. But the chief surgeon is you. And in your hands is the scalpel with which you must mercilessly cut off your pain so that its metastases do not spread to the depths of your soul. Or not mercilessly. Have pity on yourself. Sorry and sorry. Nobody is perfect, and you are no exception. You have your right to make a mistake and the strength to admit it. This is a complete cycle of transgression, go through it and move on without looping.
   
6. Sublimate. That is, spend your spiritual strength not on experiencing your pain, but on more pleasant and useful activities. The most affordable and successful option is creativity, absolutely any. From cross stitch to ballroom dancing. The main thing is that during creative activities you forget about your mental pain, and after them you feel filled with something new and bright instead of it. Another variant of sublimation is sports, it makes the body work, not the brain, and thus also distracts from heavy thoughts. In addition, in the process of physical exercise, the hormonal background normalizes, which positively affects the emotional state. Another option is to get a pet and take care of it, loving it with all your heart, making guardianship over it an important part of your daily life. Or just fall in love. A powerful release of endorphins into the blood is the best pain reliever for the soul. Although with severe mental pain, a new relationship may not work out. In this case, love those people who already make up your family and close circle of your friends. Find joy in serving their interests, enjoy the time spent in their company. Travel, in a company or alone, depending on your temperament and capabilities. You will see new places, strangers, whose lives may turn out to be worse than yours and make you forget about your pain as something not as significant as it seemed. All this will distract you, take time and help you fill and survive the most difficult period. Or sign up for a volunteer circle, help disadvantaged people and animals. Force yourself to be useful - perhaps this will be an occasion to make amends for your sins and, finally, get rid of your mental pain?
   
7. Laugh. Or at least smile. And once again stretch your lips into a smile. A smile and laughter is generally the best defense against ill-wishers. And now it turns out that you yourself become an ill-wisher in relation to yourself. Do not follow this state of affairs, do not let mental pain spoil your mood, condition, life. Let everyone not become brighter from a smile, the times of naive childhood are long gone, but think: perhaps your second soft smile will warm someone and help get rid of heartache, if not for you, then for him. Everything good, done disinterestedly, is sure to return. The ancient sages said: "Do good and throw it into the water." You don't know where it will carry it, but sooner or later it will return to you or its reflection in the water surface. The earth is round. Well, if without esotericism, then positive emotions, expressed by a smile and laughter, tone up all the systems of the body, help it fight stress and normalize the state of the nervous system and the speed of reactions. Therefore, laughter therapy is a very real method of dealing with depressive states. If you don’t have the strength and desire to smile for no reason, buy a collection of jokes or watch KVN. And the Internet is generally an inexhaustible source of hilarious jokes and fresh jokes, which will not only smile, but also distract you from difficult thoughts for a long time, if you choose the right resources.
   
8. Be mindful of the body. Forcing yourself to smile, you not only emotionally, but also physiologically affect your body. Psychosomatics is not a myth, but a very real relationship between the state of the nervous system and all other organ systems of your body. When you are in an emotionally depressed state for a long time, then eventually it begins to manifest itself not only in your mood and facial expression, but also in other, more serious symptoms. And the widespread chronic fatigue syndrome is just one, and not the most severe, of them. An internal conflict can result in asthma, gastritis, migraines and even oncology. You can compare these processes with the fact that a person “eats himself” with guilt, resentment and torment. Thus, the pain of the ephemeral soul is embodied in the very real pain of tangible organs. Such self-punishment can be unconscious and complicate life gradually, or conscious, when a person deliberately deprives himself of benefits in an effort to incur punishment for his misdeeds. In particular, anorexia is one of the manifestations of dislike for oneself, for one's soul and body. All that can be said about this is do not punish the body for the mistakes of the soul. Separate them, but keep them in harmony, and take care of the first and the second equally.
   
9. trace connection between your heartache and the life events that preceded it. The fact is that psychosomatic manifestations sometimes “work” in the opposite direction, there is no only possible direction here. And it is possible that your mental pain has not only moral, but also physical reasons. A prerequisite for an oppressed, depressed state can be chronic diseases and developing processes in the depths of the body. You don’t even know about them yet, but they already affect his condition. Therefore, however strange this advice may seem, in order to cure mental pain, you need to cure bodily ailments. If the heart trouble does not go away for a long time and does not develop, passing through its stages, then it makes sense to consult a doctor for diagnostics, take tests and undergo basic blood, urine, etc. tests. Remember to support your mental strength with your physical strength: watch your diet, eat healthy food and stick to a meal schedule. Drink natural juices, green tea and plenty of pure water. Do not litter yourself with harmful food - and then harmful thoughts will also visit you much less frequently. Because the hygiene of the body is inextricably linked with the hygiene of the soul, this fact must be accepted and taken into account.
   
10. rejoice Or rather, please yourself. Imagine that you are at home - a small child who feels bad and lonely, and he really needs love, care and attention. Love yourself and bestow pleasant, good things. Not necessarily material, but they too. Allow yourself small but regular pleasures, and if the doubt suddenly creeps in that you are pampering yourself too much, treat them as a medicine necessary for healing the soul. Such a medicine can be a walk at lunchtime on a sunny day, and a delicious cake, despite the diet, allowed yourself with a morning cup of cappuccino. The main thing is that these compliments to yourself do not later cause regrets and remorse, because their task is to please and create a positive life background to get rid of mental pain, and not to aggravate it. Update your wardrobe, buy a long-desired accessory or shoes, get a haircut, manicure, change your image. Take care of yourself like a loved one who desperately needs support and positive emotions.
    
11. Get rid of the anchors, especially if the heartache is caused by the loss of someone or something important to you. It can be quite difficult, but it is still necessary to find the strength in yourself and say goodbye to the past, which cannot be returned. Do not look for the guilty, do not try to change what has happened - just take it for granted and live on, but without it. Throw away, donate, or properly hide things that can become a reminder of the past. Stop deliberately mentally evoking past memories and restoring past situations in your memory. If your heartache is caused by the memory of a person who left your life of their own accord, then do not try to seek a connection with him, real or imagined. Neither calls nor meetings are able to return the past, but they hurt and intensify your pain. Even if it seems that even a fleeting contact will ease the experience - this is an illusion. In fact, you will simply tear off the fragile crust from the wound that has just begun to heal. Let pride become your support and adviser: you don’t need to reach out to a person who doesn’t need you. Those people who should be in your life will never leave you or offend you, and everyone else should leave so as not to take someone else's place in your personal world. Now it has been freed and will soon be occupied by someone truly worthy.
    
12. accept the pain- this is the latest, most important and, perhaps, the most difficult advice. But this is the way to healing the soul: through the pain itself. Because it is an integral part of growth. Professional athletes say: “no pain - no gain”, that is, there is no development without pain. You need to constantly remind yourself that no pain passes without a trace and always has a purpose, even if this purpose is not obvious to you now. But time will pass and, perhaps, it will turn out that it was this life test that opened understanding and doors for you to something bigger and better. Catharsis is also a kind of pain, but it is both revelation and purification. And pain is of two kinds: pain for the sake of pain and pain for the sake of creation. The second kind appears when you do not resist fate and heartache, but allow it to develop you and move you forward. This is your struggle with yourself, the struggle for a life better than now. Perhaps, as a reminder of her, a scar will remain on your soul. So let it be a reminder of your ability to survive and a symbol of your strength.
    

It remains to be hoped that one or more of these tips will help you, if not completely get rid of, then at least muffle the mental pain and speed up the process of its treatment. Difficulties come in the life of every person, and how we cope with them depends only on us. But at the same time, there is friendship, love and many other good and right things in the world that leave no pain of a chance to win over a person. You, in turn, do not ignore the pain, do not hide it and do not get angry at yourself and at life. This process may be long, but in the end it will lead you to happiness and freedom from pain. Because what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Strength to you, inner harmony and peace in the soul!

"joylessness"

"a feeling of emotional numbness"

"feeling of absence of feelings",

other sensations, not rarely the most exotic.

Definition of mental pain

What is heartache? Is it a disease or a defensive reaction of the body?

From a doctor's point of view, it's both.

The brain, in this way, tries to convey to us, to signal that it is sick and needs help to cope with today's problem. If he is not helped today, then tomorrow this condition can provoke the formation of a more complex mental pathology.

Emotional pain as a defensive reaction

Any person can experience mental pain, including a mentally healthy person, for example, who has experienced a significant loss of someone or something.
Many conflicts that seem unsolvable in people with a certain type of personality (suspicious, anxious, with increased responsibility, always doubting everything) can cause a feeling of pain in the soul. In these cases, mental pain is regarded as a protective reaction of the psyche to excessive stress.

Mental pain as a symptom of the disease

However, it is not uncommon for mental pain to be a manifestation (symptom) of a mental illness (mental disorder). Particular attention should be paid to the fact that the very expression - "mental illness", has a direct origin from the words mental pain. The feeling of mental pain is the most common symptom of the most common mental disorder in recent years - depression.

Causes

All the causes of experiencing pain in the soul, as mentioned above, can be divided into two groups:

• the first - diseases (mental disorders and behavioral disorders),
• the second is psychological (psychogenic), conflicts between the "real" and the "desired" (true neuroses).

Help with mental pain

It is possible and necessary to help a person experiencing mental pain.

In some cases, help is a conversation and support, or, conversely, isolation and temporary loneliness.

In others - neurometabolic therapy with the use of special methods of psychotherapy and medications, constant strict supervision by the attending physician.

Unfortunately, there is no universal remedy for mental pain. Each case requires an individual solution.

Treatment

Is it possible to remove or relieve mental pain on your own? If possible, how?

If the pain in the soul is not a symptom of a mental disorder, then you can try to treat mental pain yourself with some activities, such as: take a contrast shower, try to give physical activity (squats, running, swimming), try to sleep.

If mental pain is a manifestation of any disease, then the help of a specialist psychotherapist or psychiatrist is needed. The problem is that, as a rule, with mental disorders, a critical attitude towards their condition may decrease, and the sick person does not seek help, does not turn to a specialist. And a healthy person who, after stress, suffers from pain in the soul, on the contrary, is inclined to seek support, help from loved ones, tries to find a way to treat mental pain, turns to a doctor for advice.

What to do if you or your loved one is seized and does not let go of the pain in the soul? If, moreover, it also intensifies day by day?

There is only one answer. You need to go to a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.

Firstly, he knows how to quickly help and relieve this painful feeling.

Secondly, if mental pain is a manifestation of any mental disorder and treatment is required, then the psychotherapist will be able to choose therapy (medication and psychotherapy).

The Brain Clinic provides adequate assistance to all those who apply with different types and varying degrees of pain in the soul.

Call +7 495 135-44-02

We will help you or your loved ones get rid of mental pain!

We help in the most severe cases, even if the previous treatment did not help.

Reading time: 2 min

Mental pain is emotional suffering, unpleasant and painful in its sensations for a person. Mental pain is also referred to as the pain of the soul body and reckoned with the loss of survival potential. Often it is much more dangerous than bodily diseases, because it causes disturbances in the work of all internal organs and provokes malfunctions throughout the body.

How to deal with heartache

Emotional suffering develops when experiencing a life event or greatly worrying about a loved one. Mental pain is often inherent in a person when his personal ideas do not coincide with what is happening in reality. This is because significant experiences leading to are due to patterns formed in the human brain, and reality is not what the individual expects it to be. All these disappointments lead to emotional suffering.

Mental pain by a person can be experienced both explicitly and covertly, when a person suffers, but does not admit it to himself.

How to deal with mental pain? A person copes with mental pain in several ways. In one case, mental pain moves from a conscious sensation to the subconscious and the individual mistakenly believes that he is no longer suffering. In fact, what happens is that a person simply avoids pain, and transfers it to the subconscious.

If an individual is inclined to demonstrate his actions and feelings, then this means that he gives vent to his mental pain. A person in such cases begins to consult with friends, acquaintances, seeks salvation in eliminating the root of the problem.

For example, if relationships with parents cause mental pain, then a person is looking for all possible ways to find a common language with them.

If a person has chosen a method of avoidance, then this method is expressed in not recognizing the problem, often the individual says that everything is fine with him and does not even admit to himself in personal experiences. In this case, mental pain persists, passing into an implicit, subconscious form. This state is very difficult to cope with, it is painful for a person, much more emotional than an open confession, as well as saying the problem out loud.

How to get rid of mental pain

It is very difficult to get rid of latent pain, it is characterized by a protracted (for years!) course. At the same time, a person's character, relationships with others change. A person with mental pain begins to attract negative people to himself, gradually changing the level of acquaintances, or completely abandons them, forever excluding communication with people.

Often, emotional suffering does not allow an individual to create, work, it torments him, and a person often does not understand what is happening to him. Separate situations are able to remind a person of those moments that caused pain in his soul many years ago. This is due to the fact that emotions were driven into the subconscious many years ago, so a person cries and worries, not fully understanding what is happening to him, for example, after watching a emotional scene from a movie. In cases where you cannot cope with mental pain on your own, you need the help of a specialist or a loved one who is ready to listen to you.

Heartache after a breakup

Psychological reactions to the end of a relationship with a loved one have much in common with the reaction to physical loss, namely, the death of a loved one. The emotional pain after parting with a loved one can drag on for many months and years. During this period, a person is acutely worried. Experiences include stages of resentment, denial and pain.

Initially, there is a stage of denial, which manifests itself in the subconscious refusal of a person to objectively relate to the breakup and be aware of the end of the relationship.

The pain after a breakup is aggravated by the realization that a loved one is no more, and will never be there again. The moment a person realizes and accepts reality, he will stop suffering. This understanding does not come overnight. The duration of this period depends on the continuation of contacts with the former lover. To make it easier and faster to go through this stage of mental suffering, psychologists advise to abandon all contacts, as well as get rid of all objects that remind of past relationships.

The period of denial is replaced by a period of resentment, which is characterized by accusations of the former lover of all sins and the desire of the offended to take revenge, especially if betrayal was the reason for the break.

Psychologically, this is understandable: blaming another person is much easier than admitting part of your guilt in a similar situation yourself. This stage is marked by the emergence of an emotional block: there is a loop on negative experiences, which significantly delays the period of psychological recovery. At the next stage of the life crisis, worries about lost time in relationships that were in vain develop. Such experiences are accompanied by a fear of loneliness, as well as the uncertainty of the future, the fear that it will not be possible to build new relationships.

Most psychologists are inclined to believe that tears, suffering and reflection in loneliness are an obligatory, as well as a necessary part in overcoming this life crisis. There is nothing wrong with wanting to cry. Allow yourself to suffer and cry - this will bring relief and lead to recovery.

If, nevertheless, a decision was made to break up, then the lost relationship should not be restored, and for this reason, indulge in sad memories, call, and also meet. This will only slow down and make it more difficult to overcome emotional suffering.

Women often need more time than men to forget about an ex-partner, because for women, loving a man is the most important part of life. For a man, the priority in life is often work, as well as a career. In addition, it is usually easier for men to find a new partner.

Psychologists advise, left alone, to do. If, nevertheless, for two years, mental pain after parting worries, then it is necessary to consult a psychologist or psychotherapist who will help in solving this problem.

Severe mental pain

Edwin Shneidman American psychologist gave the following unique definition of mental pain. It is not like physical or bodily pain. Mental pain is manifested in experiences that are often caused by the grieving person himself.

Mental pain, filled with suffering, is an expression of the loss of the meaning of life. It is marked by torment, longing, confusion. This state gives rise to loneliness, grief, guilt, humiliation, shame, before the inevitability - aging, death, physical illness.

Eliminating the cause of suffering helps to get rid of severe mental pain. If the cause of emotional suffering is the negative behavior of a person regarding you, then in this case it is necessary to eliminate these causes, and not extinguish your emotions regarding this person. For example, if you are having trouble with your boss that provoked heartache, then you should work on your relationship with him, and not on your emotions and how you feel about it. You should find a common language or quit.

If emotional suffering is caused by an irreparable situation (illness or death), then you should work on the perception of reality and your emotions.

Mental pain lasts from six months to a year with the loss of a loved one. Only after this period of time, psychologists advise building new relationships in order not to repeat the same mistakes.

How to relieve mental pain? It is necessary to admit to yourself that an unpleasant situation has already occurred. This can alleviate your condition.

Second, go through the period of pain and come to your senses. Then we build a new future, but without these circumstances or this person. For example, without a favorite job or a loved one. Mentally build everything in detail, how you will live on. Often the real world becomes in a person the way he sees it in his imagination.

Often, severe mental pain is hidden under other masks and is confused with anger, disappointment, resentment.

How to deal with severe emotional pain? Find people who are worse off than you. Show them care. This way you will switch from your problem.

Master the system of correct breathing: with a long inhalation and a short exhalation. Proper breathing can help your body cells recover quickly, strengthen the nervous system.

Say something nice to people every day, positive emotions will also be transferred to you.

Follow the daily routine, get enough sleep, this will help restore nerve cells.

Take your mind off your worries by dancing, jogging, walking, push-ups, physical exercises. Sign up for a massage.

Avoid the return of intense mental suffering. Scientists are inclined to believe that a person stays in a state of depression for a quarter of an hour, and the rest of the time he himself creates mental suffering for himself, prolonging and aggravating them. Therefore, the ability not to return mental pain again, which is facilitated by situations from the past that provoked experiences, is of great importance.

Doctor of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMedoMed"

A person would rather choose to experience suffering at the level of the body than to cope with spiritual experiences. When mental suffering sets in, a person wants to naturally get rid of them. However, to understand how to do this, it is necessary to understand the very concept of mental pain.

What is mental pain?

The online magazine site defines mental pain as excruciating, intense, and insurmountable suffering that a person experiences at the emotional level. Some sages say that mental pain is much worse and more dangerous than physical pain. It causes such pains that are not comparable with pain during illness. It can also provoke the development of various diseases at the level of physiology.

Let's take a look at some of the most notable examples. For example, when a person goes through a breakup in a love relationship, they may lose their appetite. Isn't that indigestion! For example, when a person is afraid of something, he loses sleep.

Mental pain, which begins at the level, also affects the body, which can become ill or cease to function normally.

Moreover, mental pain is the result of a person's thoughts. There are no problems in nature. There are certain events that simply happen in the world that do not have a positive or negative color. And only a person sees problems in some of them. All this happens because he accepts some things and events, and some not. What a person calls a problem is actually a situation that is uncomfortable for him. He is uncomfortable, he does not want to get involved with something, which is why he calls a completely natural situation a problem.

This is not an imperfect person, but he himself or other people do not accept in him those qualities and features that are inherent in him. This is not a tragic event, but the person himself reacts to what is happening tragically, negatively, with tears.

All problems are in your head. Problems may not exist if you perceive everything that happens in a neutral or positive way. React to events that please you with a smile, and to unpleasant events as tasks that need to be solved. Failures are given to you as lessons that you need to parse, understand and solve in order to still get the desired result. Some events should simply be accepted as a fact. And the rest of the cases are given in order to gain experience, knowledge and wisdom.

There are just situations that may be uncomfortable for you. However, this does not make them problems to be avoided. You just need to see the situation with a sober look, impartially, understand what result you still want to achieve compared to what you currently have, and start acting in that direction to change the situation.

All problems are in your head. You create a problem from some situation with your screams, swearing and ultimatums. You do not solve a situation, but make a problem out of it, which other people should solve for you. By blaming someone for what you don't like and feel uncomfortable, you shift the responsibility from yourself to the guilty ones. You wait for the situation to resolve itself or through the actions of other people. And when will you learn to solve your "problems" yourself?

Problems are created by man. In nature, things just happen that can be unpleasant. But this is an occasion for finding a solution, and not for quarrels and. However, a person rarely adheres to the considered recommendations. He keeps creating problems in his head that cause him mental and emotional pain.

Thus, mental pain is indignation, rejection, resentment and other negative experiences that a person experiences when he disagrees with something. And in the world there are many events that a person may not like. Is it possible now to respond to every event with mental suffering? Only a person chooses how he feels and reacts in a situation that he does not like.

At the same time, massive propaganda is going on. The common man has always been programmed by the leaders of society. At different times, people are programmed for one thing, then for another. If earlier it was an honor to join the army and fight, today people understand that they are being used as slave labor. Leaders quarrel with each other, but ordinary people fight, although it is not their fault.

At all times there was a programming for illness and misfortune. The common people cannot be happier, richer and healthier than their king/king/sovereign. That is why the majority lives in misery and poverty, because the king must excel his people. Unhappy people are easier to lead, manage, manipulate. Promise an unfortunate person to give a piece of happiness, and he will do everything you ask of him! This is the mechanism at work when individuals take advantage of the grief and misery of the majority.

First you need to make people sick and unhappy, then to control them! From childhood, every ordinary person is brought up. Sometimes even the parents themselves do not notice how they give their children false programs, which will then make them poor and unhappy. Any media sources are aimed at making a person mentally ill.

Day after day, from TV screens, you hear how wars are taking place, killings and people getting sick. From books, you read that you are sick with something or you can get sick if you do not take certain actions. Either you are advised to be sacrificial and helping, or you are programmed to desire to be free and independent. All this is programming.

“Abstinence from sex leads to frigidity/impotence”, “For a woman, the main thing is beauty”, “You need to have sex every day”, “A man is a breadwinner, and a woman is a keeper of the hearth”, etc. All these are destructive programs. People begin to love each other with a neurotic love. Men become public figures, and women become second-class people. Women are made tools in the hands of men, and men are programmed to have sex almost every hour. But excessive deplete the human body.

You are programmed for such a life when you will lead yourself to poverty, illness and misfortune by your own actions. For example, the usual expression “To get rich, you need to work more than 8 hours a day” does not lead to wealth. Such a program is beneficial to leaders, entrepreneurs, employers who will always be happy to hire people who will only work, not sleep and not eat. You won’t get rich this way, but you can please your bosses. Be vigilant and watch what phrases and beliefs you program yourself for mental suffering.

How to deal with mental pain?

Obviously, there are many reasons for the occurrence of mental pain. A person first of all begins to form it in his head when his ideas do not coincide with the real state of affairs or when he worries about his loved ones. All people can feel pain. But how to deal with it?

All people experience mental suffering in their own way:

1. Some are trying to suppress it. However, she goes into the subconscious, periodically reminding of herself, especially when events arise that hurt just as painfully.
2. Others talk about heartache, splash it out. Either they take out their anger on people or objects, or communicate with relatives, friends who support and help.
3. Still others are looking for a way to solve a situation that causes heartache. Perhaps this option to eliminate suffering is considered the most ideal.

How to get rid of mental pain?

If a person does not recognize the presence of mental pain, then he avoids it, and in fact it ceases to be on a conscious level. It goes into the subconscious, from where it periodically breaks out when a person again encounters events that hurt him mentally. Here you need to get rid of mental pain, and not avoid it.

If you drive the pain of the soul into the subconscious, then it will begin to change a person: his character, relationships with others, close him from new opportunities and acquaintances. A person will begin to relate differently to the world and people.

A person stops creating, being proactive, working and having a normal rest. While he is tormented by mental anguish, he is not able to live peacefully and enjoy life. All this happens at the level of emotions that control an adult and conscious person.

If you can’t cope with mental pain on your own, then the help of a psychologist is offered, which will help you understand the problem and eliminate it.

Heartache after a breakup

Another form of mental suffering is pain after separation. Both women and men can suffer. The departure or death of a loved one always causes resentment and other emotions that cause pain.

After a breakup, a person goes through the following stages:

1. Negation. First, a person denies the accomplishment of the event that does not please him. I don't want to believe what happened. The person still has hopes that it is still possible to return.
2. Resentment, hatred. When a person recognizes the existence of a separation, the departure of a loved one, he begins to look for the guilty. He blames himself, then the departed partner. Here hatred is manifested both to oneself and to a partner.
3. Pain. Tears, crying, humility and other experiences occur at the stage when a person accepts his problem. He learns to live in a new way, first experiencing acute emotions.

Severe mental pain

Mental pain is the result of thoughts and experiences that the person himself creates. To get rid of severe suffering, which is sometimes unbearable, you must follow one of the scenarios:

• Eliminate the cause of mental pain. For example, reconcile with a loved one if the pain is caused by his departure.
• Accept the situation, change your attitude and perception of it. If the problem cannot be fixed, then you should accept it and learn to live with it.

It is recommended not to run away from your own experiences. Emotions torment, but you should accept their presence. Then you should come to your senses and understand what is happening. Heartache is denial, rejection, resentment of a situation. What happens if emotions change?

Outcome of heartache

Heartache doesn't do any good. The sages say that a person grows and develops through suffering. However, an ordinary person often only develops more complexes and fears in himself based on the pain that he is experiencing. As a result, a person begins to run even faster from those situations that can cause unpleasant emotions.

You can get rid of mental pain only by willpower. Even when working with a psychologist, you will have to make an effort and feel the desire to get rid of suffering.