What to do if you are disgraced at a corporate party. Got drunk at a corporate party, ashamed. I don't want to live

Yesterday was a corporate party and I was terribly drunk, I stopped controlling myself. In front of everyone, I frankly hugged and kissed some employees, and I don’t remember exactly what happened, only moments. I was frankly bullied. I am terribly ashamed, I did not sleep because of this all night, I suffered. The worst thing is that I really don’t remember, maybe I’ve done something else ..... I curse this day and now I’m afraid to go to work. My friends said that everything was sooooo frank and I liked it. In short, she acted like the last slut. There, of course, everyone was drunk, but only I came off like that. Help me, what should I do now? After all, you can’t return or fix anything .... And so I’m always a quiet and shy little good girl, no one expected this from me, and I myself didn’t expect it either. There was another man with whom I was in love, and at the last corporate party we slept together (we went to him, she behaved decently at the corporate party then). Then we didn’t communicate for almost a whole year (I avoided him), and I kept hoping that this time I would also get close, but alas ... And after this, he probably thought that I was some kind of b ... this is even more depressing. Although, probably, this is true, and I just proved it to EVERYONE. Tell me, how should I be now, how to communicate with employees, how to forgive myself for what I have done? I'm just shocked by my behavior....

Dear A.! You are probably "real" when you reduce control, you just use alcohol for this, or you can ... just be more relaxed, relaxed (this is difficult if you are used to keeping yourself in check throughout life (and someone has taught you to this). You contradict yourself (if you want one thing, do it so that it doesn’t happen), the example given with the man you like. And the subconscious mind directs you along the path that is close to you, but ... we condemn. Maybe nothing like that it was, girlfriends can and ... envy, because they themselves can’t do that! Calling yourself a “slut” and “b-th”, what is the meaning of these words? someone forgotten and despised of a clan that is not talked about and condemned "breaks through" to recognize its existence ... through you. It seems strange, but it may be so. Calm down for a start - yes, I, A., such as it is and accept me, colleagues, such! dress. Happy New Year!

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Hello, A. I agree with my colleague, as if when you drink alcohol, another A. appears, who behaves in an unacceptable way for you goody. You are ashamed of yourself, you call yourself all kinds of humiliating words. In my experience, sluts behave quite differently. It looks like you let go of your control a little and at that moment it gave you pleasure. It is impossible to cope with the “other” part of you and it will periodically “crawl out” outside. But you can reconcile these 2 parts with each other, then, perhaps, you will be a lesser good boy every day, but there will be no such "breakdowns". Sincerely, Anastasia Umanskaya.

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Hello! It is possible that your behavior was due to the fact that you have an increased level of self-control (perhaps there are some personal limits of your own that you do not allow yourself to go beyond - thus limiting yourself!) - and alcohol allows you to reduce self-control and Your mind has finally relaxed for all the restrictions that you impose on it! That is why you behaved the way you did (i.e. in real life you do not allow yourself to relax and do not allow yourself to behave relaxed and more freely and intimately as well - that is why you avoided further meetings!). To begin with, you should work on your own prohibitions (maybe there are parental prohibitions here - work in the family system, negative experience of the past is also possible) - you yourself should understand why you forbid yourself so much. And then work on establishing contacts in an interpersonal relationship. Now you are concerned about the question of how to behave at work - it is quite natural that you will not be comfortable, but you should not avoid everyone and thereby focus on yourself even more - this will depress you even more. Try to behave normally. However, in the future you should allow yourself more - sometimes do what you want (and not forbid yourself everything!)! If you want to work internally - write or call!

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Sometimes in us, something breaks through that we are surprised at ourselves. But this does not mean that what we let into ourselves is ourselves. There is nothing to cross on yourself. However, we are responsible for what we let into ourselves. If there is a problem of self-control, it makes sense to work with a psychologist in person. Well, and reputation ... If everything is so bad, look for a new job. Moscow is a big city, you can start all over again

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AND THIS IS ME! And with the look of a business impudent LADY, bring something new to your image! Well it was, well now what? Well, did you have fun? If you don't like it, you can not communicate with me... Good luck, and Happy New Year! With a new look!

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It is clear that under the influence of alcohol, something that you do not recognize in yourself, hide, has manifested itself. And you admit! What's wrong with that? Sexuality, emancipation - this is just what the men are crazy about. The only bad thing was the drunkenness. It's all about the dose. If you are not ashamed, but bring some of this into your usual behavior, then nothing indecent will happen when you are drunk. And then, waiting a whole year for a corporate party to explain to a man you like is stupidity. Just stupidity. If he has not explained himself to you for a whole year, then he does not need you. Recognize this and move on, calmly and confidently.

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You are not the only one. And what about those with whom you "Frankly hugged and kissed in front of everyone ..." and who "... frankly pawed." You have a lot in common. So spit on hypocrites and work quietly. There will be problems contact.

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You know, A. Sometimes clients want to work in sessions on some model. And, reading your letter, I remembered the theme of creating one of the images. Johnny Depp, when collecting the image of Jack Sparrow, shared one of his memories in an interview. He was at some party where one of the invited socialites led the web in much the same way as you at the party. And when Depp talked with this lady (judging by what is known about him as a person, he is far from a hypocrite), she told him "Someone must come off no matter what ..." And this phrase became one of the leading lines of the character of Jack Sparrow performed by Depp. How it ended, we all know. Who is now the Chief Pirate of the Caribbean? You are you, accept yourself and love.

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On New Year's Eve, many companies hold festive corporate parties. We relax and sometimes lose control of ourselves, as a result, often after such events we become "excruciatingly painful and ashamed" of our behavior. What to do in such a situation? And is it possible to avoid "far-reaching consequences"? Here are some recommendations.

You've gone over the alcohol

Most likely, not only you. Perhaps others did not notice that you drank too much. You don't get any complaints? Here, calm down! Do not try to make excuses, because there are simply no ideal people, and we all can sometimes "give slack".

you had too much fun

For example, they sang at the top of their lungs or danced on the table… So what? After all, a holiday is for that and a holiday to have fun. Have you done something bad or indecent? No, you just enjoyed life, why not?! As they say, business time, fun hour!

You got into a fight with a colleague

Drinking makes people behave more naturally. Sometimes it even turns into aggression. You could say to a colleague what you did not dare to say in a sober state. Word for word - and a scandal broke out!

Be sure to explain yourself when you sober up. Maybe it's worth this time to state your claims in a "calm" format. It is possible that a constructive dialogue will result.

Have you told your boss what you think of him?

You gave him the first number: for a small salary, and for overwhelming workloads, and for incompetence ...

This is probably the worst thing you could do. But if you were not fired the next day, it means that you were heard and made the right conclusions.

If you said too much to the boss, then do not rush to apologize. They can piss him off even more. Wait until the steam subsides, and then decide whether it is worth clarifying the situation.

you got into a fight with someone

If this happens, then try to discuss the situation with your ex-opponent. Either find out the reasons for the outbreak of the conflict, or, if the skirmish arose from scratch, apologize to the person.

You flirted with one of your colleagues

And it was not just courtship - you kissed, made out, and perhaps even had sex in the toilet ... Or went to one of you at home and spent the night there together.

This only applies to the two of you. It all depends on how you treat him (her). If you would like to start a relationship, but before this case you did not dare to take the first step, maybe you should continue to show signs of attention.

If you don’t have any feelings for the person, you can try to explain yourself and say that everything that happened was a mistake. If everything happened by chance at all and you both know it, then you should not draw attention to this: just pretend that nothing happened.

You said things that shouldn't have been said

For example, they admitted that they were in love with Vasya from the neighboring department or that you had an affair with Lyubochka from the accounting department ... Or they shouted loudly that your boss was sleeping with his secretary, and in the presence of his own wife!

Fortunately, people do not always listen to "drunken delirium." It’s best to pretend in the morning that you didn’t say anything like that ... And if they start pestering you with questions, say that they misunderstood you ... In a word, deny everything that has been said - let them think that you were drinking some nonsense.

By the way, it also happens that your "terrible secrets" are generally of no interest to anyone. Then there is nothing to worry about!

You don't remember anything

When you try to restore the events of the evening the day before, a black hole gapes in your head. At least this applies to some part of the corporate party ...

You shouldn't worry about this. Since nothing was preserved in memory, it is not a fact that something out of the ordinary happened. Be sure: if it happened, you would surely be told about it! So act like nothing happened. But if you, on the contrary, start asking everyone about what happened to you, people will be wary.

But the best thing is not to get involved in drinking. After all, it is she who usually pushes us to rash acts. Remember that a corporate party is still not a party with friends, and if you have violated work ethics or subordination, then the consequences can be very unpleasant, up to and including dismissal. Be careful!

A corporate party is a great way to communicate with colleagues in an informal setting and have a good rest. However, for some reason, waking up in the morning and remembering the holiday, you realize that you overdid it. How to go to work after the incident? This can happen to anyone, and it should be considered as a bad experience from which appropriate conclusions must be drawn. Surely there will be people at work who want to discuss your behavior. Prepare for these conversations ahead of time.

Post-Corporate Syndrome: Let's Discuss

If you really behaved unacceptably, just say that the working quarter turned out to be too hard, you were tired and just wanted to relax. That’s probably why they overdid it with alcohol, as a result of which they got drunk at a corporate party, it’s a shame that you don’t know what to do ... But you work so well that you can forgive this puncture. Especially caustic answer that adults and self-sufficient people should not discuss the small mistakes of colleagues. Joke that big corporate cake, eaten the day before, should have united you all, and not vice versa.




Note from the boss

The festival is attended not only by colleagues, but also by the management, which manages to notice all the distinguished ones. Perhaps you, too, fell under this scrutiny, getting drunk at a corporate party. Of course you are ashamed. What to do now? If your boss makes a remark about your behavior, you should apologize for your behavior and explain that you just miscalculated a little. Be sure to clarify that this behavior is usually unusual for you and you do not plan to repeat such feats in the future. It is highly desirable to speak this moment. Perhaps you are being considered for a promotion because they want to see how well you meet the company's expectations. In this case, you need to show that you are able to smooth out all sharp corners and correct mistakes in time. End the conversation on a positive note by noting that the celebration was organized very well and the cake from the Iris Delicia confectionery was simply amazing. Management really appreciates this kind of feedback.

Frivolous behavior

It is customary to relax at a corporate party, because people tend to feel relaxed. Simply put, many can behave in the same way as in the company of friends - they are not at work. And your colleagues are no exception. However, some may behave somewhat cheekily.
If you got drunk at a corporate party, you are ashamed and you do not know what to do, try to assess the situation objectively. Perhaps you just think that you behaved too frivolously. In any case, even if you invited all your male colleagues to the dance, you can simply explain that you love dancing very much, but on working days you absolutely don’t have time for this - so you couldn’t stop when there was so much fun around. Loud music, whiskey and cola in large quantities, a huge team - all this makes you want to dance and have fun.




If you openly flirted with one of your colleagues and even hung around his neck, but you were not reciprocated, just apologize to this person. Say you're sorry for your behavior and make it a joke. You have to work together, and therefore it is important to immediately eliminate all misunderstandings so that in the future there will be no elements of tension and rejection in your communication.

draw conclusions

In whatever state you participate in and whatever you do during the holiday, draw the right conclusions from everything that happened. For some reason, you do not know how to relax without alcohol, and after drinking, you cannot stop. Maybe you just don't know how to relax. Try discussing this issue with a psychologist. It's good if you can get out of a difficult situation with dignity. However, it is worth remembering that in some cases such mistakes can cost a career.

I got drunk at a corporate party, behaved badly in front of colleagues, I'm ashamed to look in the eyes ... I don't want to live. daughter 9 years old will remain an orphan ... this stops
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alexandra, age: 30 / 27.12.2014

Responses:

If everyone who has ever drunk at parties will think about suicide, then most of the inhabitants of the country will have suicidal thoughts.
You better learn valuable experience from this event and do not repeat this more and that's it. Colleagues will understand, we are all people, and will not judge. These are such little things in life, you just think about them a lot and overthink things.

Alexionides, age: 30 / 27.12.2014

By the age of 30, everyone was already drunk up to 10 times, even I, in principle, do not drink at all. What is this revelation? Another thing is if your body is affected by alcoholism and reacted to a dose of alcohol, as happens in such cases, then, of course, this requires correcting the situation. And you can improve only by visiting a doctor - a narcologist or undergoing anonymous treatment "12" steps. What can you do if youth is a time when we make such mistakes, which then have to be corrected long and hard. You have a daughter and that says it all. Treat, get rid of addiction! You have someone to try and live for. And at work, cry and forgive. Not fatal. Push your pride away and do what you are advised. And you have to work. Raise your daughter. Do not drift and everything will work out for you!

Lyudmila, age: 65 / 12/27/2014

I also recently got drunk at my sister's wedding. Whatever I did there, I even managed to fight with my brother, although when I am sober, I am modest, always quieter than water below the grass. I was also worried, but after talking with my relatives the next day, I realized that everything was not so bad, no one was judging me. Conscience is always very tormenting after such cases. The main thing is to wait it out, do something pleasant distracting, talk with witnesses of your excesses, maybe everything was not so scary, apologize if necessary, and after a day or two it will already be better, and then completely forgotten. After all, you didn’t kill anyone there, so no one will condemn you, I’m sure, but next time try to drink less.

Eugene, age: 29 / 27.12.2014

Alexandra, you just worked, so you quickly got drunk at the corporate party. This happens in the life of every person. In addition, everyone else was also drunk and remember everything vaguely. Now it’s a series of days off and everything will be forgotten. You know, I think your employees are adequate, reasonable people , and will not betray the value of one act. And why will they think about you, they are now thinking about their children, husbands, wives, grades at school, etc. Do not exaggerate. Relax, come to your senses, draw conclusions. And who really thinks about you is your daughter. And her mother is the best for her, and for her it is nothing, if only her mother was there. Sincerely, Marina.

Marina, age: 42 / 27.12.2014

Sasha, it seems to me that this is not a reason for suicide at all. Do you know how many times in my life there were moments when I wanted to sink into the ground from shame? And nothing, I survived and now I don’t even remember about it. Pull yourself together. In extreme cases, you can always change jobs, it's not difficult. Think about a child.

Age: ... / 12/27/2014

Well, you had to start sometime :) You just learned it a little late;) But seriously, it happened to everyone, everyone understands everything. And your colleagues are not saints either. Once I got so drunk, I drove past my stop on the bus, I vomited on my fur coat and I fell ... In this form, for some reason, I went to my parents (I lived separately). You know how dumb it was to live in the morning. But in fact it turned out that everyone accepted everything with humor. Moreover, I'm not some kind of drunkard, I have two higher educations, a family, a job ... Now I drink carefully!
Everything will be fine, after a while you will laugh at it again. Anything can happen, do not invent nonsense;) I somehow lived after that shame:) and nothing!

Olesya, age: 28 / 27.12.2014

Yeah, right now everyone left the New Year's mess, families, wives, husbands and rushed to discuss you, on vacation, people have nothing to do but you. Everyone's head is full of celebration right now! Nobody needs you? :))) You are more worried... Forgive yourself for this. And during the holidays, everyone will definitely forget about you, people have their own affairs. And besides, are you surrounded by idiots who will laugh at someone else's misfortune? Unlikely.

Olga, age: 28 / 27.12.2014

Dear Sasha, every second was in your place, so the word "corporate" is always associated with all sorts of situations, for which it is embarrassing later) Colleagues will tease - say that you don’t remember anything and pretend that nothing happened. If someone was offended, come up and apologize (or to everyone - in the case when the team is good, it's even better). Everything. The main thing is to draw conclusions for the future and know when to stop.

Elizabeth, age: 29 / 27.12.2014

I also have the same problem. I got drunk, I don’t remember anything, I went out staggering, I couldn’t put on my own shoes. Shame, for a week I can’t come to my senses from shame. But you have to overcome yourself, go to work and then we'll see

Lena, age: 45 / 01/04/2015

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Not everyone remembers that a holiday party at work is still a corporate event where you need to behave appropriately. If you don't want to appear tactless and then blush in front of your colleagues, remember these things and never do them at a corporate party.

Don't miss the event

You should not refuse to participate in a corporate holiday, unless you already have plans for this evening.

“You may not want to go to a corporate event, but it's important for you to show your dedication to the cause of the company,” says Barbara Pachter, etiquette expert and author of The Essentials of Business Etiquette. “Your absence will not go unnoticed and will most likely be noticed by your boss or other top managers.”

Don't leave first

Of course, sooner or later someone will need to leave the event first. But for the same reason you shouldn't miss a corporate party, you shouldn't be the first guest to leave.

Don't forget to prepare your companion for the party

Very often, corporate parties are allowed to take a loved one or friend with you.

Warn your companion in advance about how to dress for the event and what topics to avoid. Make sure that the person accompanying you understands that their behavior may affect your reputation.

Don't wear inappropriate clothes

Even if the corporate party takes place outside of working hours, you should not dress like you would in a nightclub. Put on the clothes that are not embarrassing to wear to work, but since you are going to a holiday, you can decorate it a little - most importantly, do not overdo it.

"You're going to a party, but your outfit is appropriate for a corporate event," says Pachter. "Don't wear anything too short, tight or frilly."

If your company has a dress code, you should not come to a corporate party in jeans and a T-shirt, and even more so in Hello Kitty pajamas.

Get rid of the bored look

Watch your body language. If you sit looking bored or unhappy, the consequences will be almost the same as if you missed the event altogether.

“Don't frown, don't sit with an air of indifference, don't cross your arms, and don't yawn,” advises Pachter. “Someone might be watching you.”

Don't be a sociopath

Be friendly even if you despise your co-workers or you are new and don't know many people. Don't sit in a corner away from everyone, glued to your phone screen.

Don't forget to eat

Some employees forget about food and head straight to the bar because they want to have a drink with colleagues or they don't want to risk weight for snacks.

But don't forget that if you're going to drink alcohol - even one or two glasses of wine - you'll need to eat something.

Don't get drunk

This is a very important rule that many do not follow.

“You don't have to drink, but if you do, try to stay sober,” Pachter advises. “It’s very easy to do something superfluous on a drunk head.”

Set yourself a limit on the amount of alcohol you drink and do not exceed it. Or order a drink you don't like and sip it little by little throughout the evening.

Don't gossip or say bad things about your colleagues

In conversations with colleagues, try to maintain a positive and friendly tone.

Complaining about the company or your boss will create a bad atmosphere, and gossiping about co-workers can lead to problems. It's easy to break this rule when drunk, so be careful.

Don't play with anyone

A corporate event is not the best time to flirt with your boss or his wife.

Sometimes alcohol makes people too bold, so it's best not to drink it if you are not sure that you can control yourself.

Don't have boring conversations about work

Even if the corporate party takes place in the office and there is someone from work there, it is better not to discuss business issues there.

Save your news about the project until Monday.

Don't post comments or photos online that might get you in trouble

Don't forget to come up with topics for conversation

The best way to avoid talking about gossip is to make a "plan of conversations". As Voltaire said, “he who has nothing to say always speaks badly.”

If you're planning to talk to a newbie, come up with a few questions to help start the conversation.

If you decide not to drink alcohol at an event, consider what you will say to people who ask why you don't drink. Want to chat with the CEO? Think about how you start the conversation.

“We shouldn't just discuss business,” Pachter said. - Stay up to date with current events in your community. Read newspapers, news websites, corporate blogs, and magazines about your industry."

Don't play the fool

Some people forget that a corporate party is a working event, and they go all out.

There is nothing wrong with having fun and celebrating, but you also need to think about the possible consequences of your behavior. So, if you want to sing some indecent song in karaoke, it is better to do it with close people, and not with colleagues.

Don't forget to thank the hosts of the party

Be sure to say "thank you" and say goodbye to the organizers. If you are not sure who exactly arranged the corporate party, or did not see these people at the celebration, send your thanks the next day by corporate mail.