I do not see the meaning in life, my destiny. I see no reason to live on

Vitaly! I want to tell you so much at once !!)) I was waiting for such a question)). So I wanted to discuss with someone about the meaning of life, so I want to tell someone about what I now know!))

Well! Let's discuss! You are a doctor and you are only 24 - how wonderful! Lost the meaning of life! And that is great! Without losing .. you will not find! At the age of 24, a person should and must think about the meaning of life, if this does not happen ... you can make diagnoses)) Everything is according to plan here))! Childhood and youth are over, adulthood has begun, with responsibility, with problems, with eyes wide open, with the loudspeaker of the crowd - i.e. society. And what do you see in adulthood?! That everyone lies and pretends. What a disgusting thing! All around you are scammers! More recently, I also thought ... And your phrase: "if you are the same person, perfectly aware that there is no happiness!" - would be true if not for the many adventures in my life. The fact is that every person is sent into the world for something. Throughout our lives, we learn, learn, read in other people's eyes, listen to other people's thoughts, touch someone else's body, taste unusual food, etc. Yes Yes exactly! You can correct me: everything is banal - everyone eats eggs in the morning, they say the same thing, they feel the same way as everyone else, they learn the same subjects from year to year. And everything is so banal! Trunks! But! To know who Khobotov is, you should watch the movie "Pokrovsky Gates", in order to understand what and how each person feels, you should learn to listen with all receptors, in order to learn to listen in general, you should learn! When I graduated from the institute, I decided that my experience and knowledge is a storehouse, I "caught God by the beard!", I am the main one!, I understand everything and know everything perfectly! Don't teach me how to live! - that was the motto))) But life began to present surprises and adventures. Fate made me understand life from the other side, from the one with which I had not yet seen it. And the insights began to happen! Of mischief! Yes, this happens to every person, yes, this is not news, yes, it is banal. BUT! Everyone has their own insight! Everyone is interested in their own way. Finding out your true purpose and being able to reveal your potential is not just interesting, difficult and easy, this is the meaning of life! When we learn something new, when we understand that everything in the world is fleeting, directive, that deja vu is our life, that everything repeats itself, that we are all the same, that it's all not interesting! We are starting work! This is the most important work in our minds! In our heart. "The more I know, the less I know" - do you know this phrase of I. Kant? It was a great philosopher who lived as an ascetic - this is my opinion.

After receiving my diploma, I went down the stairs, and our teacher (very respected, smart, wise!) came to meet me. I asked her: "M.N., aren't you tired of your profession, people with the same problems?" She is a doctor of psychological sciences, practices and teaches. And she answered: "But how can it get bored? After all, every person is a new world!" Now I know for sure! The more I know, the less I know! Every new person in my life is a discovery! Every event is for something. Each adventure is a letter that should be learned, studied, drawn conclusions in order to become wiser. Why do I need wisdom? Why do I need all the hardships and events? In order to know for sure that I helped people, that I left behind a grain of kindness, mercy, love. Because it is love that makes a person learn, learn, apply his experience for good and help people who do not know about these truths! And there are a lot of such people! So what is the meaning of life? Everything is written in the Bible very clearly, yes, in any denomination you will find the answer to this question. Any psychologist will tell you that the meaning of life is love and kindness. I wish you as a person of LOVE! I wish you, as a doctor, to achieve perfection and mastery in your field, which means being able to understand the cause of the disease! Knowing the cause, the roots, you will be a doctor. Knowing the symptoms, you are just a doctor ... Develop! This is what makes sense! Get to know the unknown, discover fantasy, for example, the third eye! Here's where to start!

Luule Viilma "Forgive Yourself" - so you will learn the causes and mechanisms of psychosomatics, this book will help you understand and forgive.

Louise Hay will also explain to you the psychosomatics of the disease.

Yoga: I recommend you breathing yoga in the "Art of Life" - all the information on the Internet. Yoga will give you the right ability to relax by nature, proper breathing is the basis of a healthy existence! In a healthy body healthy mind

What's the point?
One evening, a belated traveler knocked on the sage's door. The sage invited him to the house, treated him to a simple dinner, they started talking.
- Listen! - said the guest. - The glory of your wisdom has reached our edges. You know a lot. Can you explain to me why a person lives in this world, what is the meaning of life?
- What do you think about it yourself? - asked the sage.
I have thought about this a lot, but have not found an answer. Every day I do the same thing: I work, eat, sleep, rest… The day turns into night, after which the same day comes again. Weeks, months, years go by. After winter comes summer, then winter again. I find happiness - and again I lose it. Everything revolves in some kind of meaningless circle. It doesn't make any sense to me.
The sage, without saying anything, led the questioner to a large, measuredly ticking clock, and opened the door of the mechanism. Inside there were many wheels that turned - some faster, others slower - meshing with teeth one after another and setting the arrows in motion.
- Look, - the sage broke the silence, - look at this wheel ... or - at this. They keep spinning in the same place. What do you think is the point of spinning one wheel? Good answer 4 bad answer 8

And I can't do anything. Nothing works out at any job (I'm not exaggerating, I changed more than 5 jobs, where I never stayed a day). It's even worse with men. Previously, relationships were easy to start but ended only in sex, all the men that I had needed only sex. Then I decided to end it and began to live with a guy who showed interest and care for me. But I don't feel anything for him. I want to end this relationship but I can't. I'm afraid to be alone. It seems to me that if I break off relations with him, then a series of men who only want sex will begin again. The worst thing is that I know what to do but I can’t: I need to break off these relations, but it’s scary, I have to try to work, but it doesn’t work out. I sought help from a psychotherapist and he began to help me. But it so happened that I began to have a sexual interest in him. As a result, I stopped going to him. But outwardly, this person is very attractive to me. And it's terrible. I know that he will never pay attention to me as a potential lover: there are two options: if he is a professional, he will not build any relationship, but if he is not a very good person, then he can answer my flirting and flirting and this is me will finally win. I trust no one. And I really try to do at least something, but I see only the bad ahead. I don't know how to break the vicious circle that has dragged on for a long time. Although I understand that I can only help myself. Everything is worse at work. I have no interest in anything and still feel a panic fear of doing something. I never manage to do any work, work is a nightmare for me, which I have to go for the sake of money. The doctor advised me to find what I like, but it seems to me not real. I like spending time at home, with my family, taking care of someone. But everyone around repeats that it is necessary to be self-sufficient and independent. And I try but it doesn't work. I previously worked in a high-paying job, which led to a breakdown and a referral to a psychotherapist. And I hoped that he would help me, but as soon as I saw this person, I immediately felt some kind of sympathy for him, and we only talked with him for 15 minutes. And I liked it even when I said goodbye to a previous client. I read about transference and something like that, but I liked this person before the therapy began. And I decided not to go to him. But I couldn’t, after six months I began to go to him about once every three months. We talked and I felt better. This person is very calm. But this only made everything worse: my sympathy, initially only external, became stronger. It got me. A person cannot be so stupid as to fall in love with a doctor. Now I don’t work, I don’t go out anywhere, I practically don’t eat, I don’t sleep well, I constantly roar. I'm trying to figure it all out, but I can't. To move from a guy you need to find money. And this means that again you have to go to this hell called work. And the fact is that I will even get settled somewhere, but not for long. As soon as it becomes clear that there are no results, I will be fired or I myself will leave earlier. It is very difficult for me to adapt in a team, especially in a female one. Most often, they constantly spread rot on me, they spread some kind of gossip. It’s my own fault because I stay away from everyone, I don’t let anyone close, I’m not comfortable with this. I do not know what to do. I have to constantly break myself to work. And the scenario is always the same: job search, interviews, I know how to go through them. And then: always tears and tantrums if I am hired, I endure refusals more easily. Then I force myself to calm down and work and start working hard, trying to fit into the team, but then after a while there comes a breakdown. And that's all. Again at first. I don't see any future prospects. Career growth like me will never be achieved, and I don’t see the point in an office race, there are no friends and never will be (I think this is already a conscious position), but I want to find a loved one. The doctor advised me to take a closer look at my so-called roommate, I looked closely, wrote down all the pluses and minuses of him on a piece of paper, but I don’t feel anything for him. On the contrary, when I am alone, I feel calmer, as soon as he returns from work, I experience irritation, almost uncontrollable, any request is annoying. Then the doctor began to advise to break off the relationship, since, in his opinion, it is they who drive me into such stress. And I decided that yes, I would leave, but nothing got off the ground: as soon as I imagine that I have to live alone, I'm scared. I already hatched plans to escape three times, I left a year ago, but a month later he asked me to return and I returned to one that is simply unbearable and scary, especially since my work is usually always low-paid and not long-term, at any moment I can break loose. I'm confused, in what order and what to decide, I don't know. Regarding relationships: in my youth there were a lot of them, but it all ended sadly, there was a strong affection, but the man betrayed him strongly: he advised me to his friend as a mistress. And I decided to take revenge, only everything turned out sideways to me, and the one whom I loved did not understand anything. Now I don’t have confidence in people in general, in men in particular, I don’t have faith in some kind of bright feelings and something like that. And I don’t have faith in myself either, and in the future, I’m like a train that once went off the rails, rushing somewhere to nowhere. I even have suicidal thoughts sometimes. To be honest, my parents are stopping me now, I feel sorry and ashamed of them, I'm afraid that someone will find out what a disgusting daughter they have. And they are proud of me, they tell everyone that I work, I am financially independent, I studied English from the age of three, like smart. And I feel like a dummy: everything is kind of good on the outside, I diligently look after myself, buy beautiful and stylish things, try to look attractive, I never say what I feel, I always try to smile at everyone. But inside everything is terrible, or rather, there is nothing even an emptiness, I cannot fill this emptiness with anything. For a while I was happy with shopping and so on, but now I am indifferent to everything, I have neither holidays nor joyful events. Nothing. And the understanding that it will only get worse if I don't pull myself together.

Child's age: 18

I don't see the point in life

Hello. I have been depressed for several years now, because I don’t see the point in our lives, and because of this, I almost constantly have a bad mood. The point is to achieve something in it, if it is boring and uninteresting, you will quickly get tired of flying or traveling to other countries, like many other things, even if you achieve something, then what to do next? So you have money, houses, a car, a decent job, but what to do next? When did you achieve everything? Children don’t interest me, as well as marriage, because in our time having children is simply stupid, the child will become either a stupid cattle who chases fashion ala twists and hype music, or a junkie, the chance for a normal child is minimal, which is why he is not needed. It's like a lottery, but I'm not going to play it. Alcohol and drugs do not attract me either, firstly it is expensive, and the buzz is only temporary, and secondly, it is very harmful and my body cannot withstand any amount of alcohol AT ALL, after a glass of wine I will die and puke for two days lying down with temperature. I live with my mother, I quit studying after the first year at a technical school, because the profession was not for me, now for almost a year I have been sitting at home and studying programming, I think at the end of March - beginning of April I will get a job, my knowledge is worth 15-20k rubles a month. But I don’t feel much joy from this, and my personal life doesn’t really attract me, it’s brainy ... la, and the maximum that in return is sex, is sex worth this brainy ... is it that a woman will arrange? I do not argue that there are good girls, but finding one in our time is like a needle in a haystack, if not more difficult. As it has probably already become clear, I don’t have friends, and even simple friends, I have a brother whom I trust like myself and no one else, would I like friends? No, having studied for 9 years at school and another year at a technical school, I saw how people were hypocrites and laughed behind each other's backs, calling themselves friends to each other's faces, how can one talk about friendship with such people? A friend is the one who will help and not betray, and not the one who smiles in your face, and talks nasty things about you behind your back. I don't have any bad habits, I like to walk in the forest when the weather allows. I try to avoid large crowds of people, tk. How uncomfortable I am with them. Can you help me?

Nikita

Hello Nikita!

I see that you are really overcome by negative experiences. For your age, this is normal - the end of adolescence, the beginning of adolescence often cause confusion and anxiety in young people, as a result of which other negative experiences arise. If you feel like you can't manage your emotions on your own, call 8-800-2000-122, it's anonymous and completely free. Experts will help you find a way out of any situation.

It's great that you stopped studying for a profession in which you did not feel comfortable. Such an act requires a certain strength and endurance, and you have them! You got interested in programming, which is very commendable, because now the professions associated with this type of activity are really in great demand and well paid. Have you thought about entering a university at the Faculty of IT-technologies? If not, then think about this option, a person with a higher education is always rated higher by the employer.

You write that you have a brother whom you trust as yourself. Have you shared your negative experiences with him? Did you talk about something that has been tormenting you for quite a long time? If not, then think about it in order to share your feelings and worries with him. The person with whom you have a trusting relationship will always help you find a way out, let you speak out, support you in such a difficult time for you and, perhaps, come up with a solution to the problem that you yourself would not have come up with - it's just that all people look at the world in their own way, through your experience and your lens of perception.

I recommend that you visit a face-to-face consultation with a psychologist. In general, depression is a serious enough disorder that requires the help of a specialist. Based on your letter, I can conclude that your depression is already really serious. On our site you can find addresses of free psychological services in your city. And don't forget to call the helpline: 8-800-2000-122!

Ekaterina Safonova,
psychologist of the site "I am a parent"

These photos of a modest man in a cemetery blew up the Internet. Read his story if you don't see the point in living.

His name is Tong Phuoc Fuk, building contractor, married. By religion - Catholic. In 2001, the wife announced the long-awaited news - he would soon become a father.

The birth was very difficult, and our hero spent several hours waiting at the door of the maternity ward and whispered a prayer:
“Lord, You know how much we love kids! Make sure that everything is fine with your wife and child! I promise you: if they stay alive, I will dedicate my life to the children and start helping those in need!”

Finally, a nurse came out and happily announced: “You have a son, everything is in order!”

The newly-made dad could not come to his senses for a long time and sat in the corridor. And then his eyes fell on an office with a sign "Operating Room", where women periodically entered, leaving from there in tears or with a gloomy face. They didn't look like they were sick or pregnant, so what are they doing here in the rodblok? Suddenly, Tong realized - this is an abortion clinic ... In the same building, both rescued and killed babies.

“What happens to the bodies of these unfortunate crumbs?” - he was haunted by this thought and the realization of the horror that was happening behind those doors. What he saw deeply touched his father's soul, and he asked his question to the doctors, to which they looked at him in bewilderment, as if he was out of his mind.

Vietnam ranks 6th in the world in terms of the number of abortions per capita. Most citizens live below the poverty line, benefits are negligible, so many do not hesitate to go to abortion clinics. An unmarried girl in the villages who becomes pregnant can simply be kicked out of the house by her parents. Many go for interruption even at a later date, if it turns out on ultrasound that there will be a girl (although gender recognition in the country is illegal) - this is economically unprofitable.

From that day on, Tong Fook decided to act

He received permission from doctors to bury the bodies of those killed in the womb. First - in the backyard of his own mansion, then - on land specially purchased for this, which took all his savings - 2 thousand dollars.

The people around him considered him crazy, and even his wife was perplexed and opposed, but he was adamant: he gave each baby a Christian name, carefully buried in a clay pot, under an engraved granite slab and an artificial rose. And so 11,000 times over 15 years.

“Human life is sacred from the moment of conception, and killed children are already people, but they are not interred, but thrown away like garbage…,” Tong says in an interview. - When I do all this, in my head the thoughts of living kids who go to school eat sweets. And these kids will never get all the joys of life ... The only thing I can do for them is a decent grave ... "

But the essence of all the works of the Vietnamese was not just to bury babies humanly - he sincerely believed that those who saw the burial would no longer want to get rid of their unborn sons and daughters. And so it happened - when the general public became aware of the cemetery, visitors began to come here. They cried at the graves, grieving for their ruined crumbs. Some Tong managed to talk to. And someone just went to his house with words of gratitude and repentance for their act.

The idea soon bore new fruits - pregnant women or those who had already given birth, who found themselves in a difficult situation, began to turn to Tong for help. It all started with one girl who came to speak out and changed her mind about terminating the pregnancy after a long conversation with the owner of the house. Soon their small dwelling was filled with Vietnamese women in childbirth and women in childbirth, and the wife could not stand it. Then our hero told her about the vow given to God on the day of the birth of their first child. The wife understood everything and since then has been supporting her husband - their mansion has turned into a shelter.

They decided to take into their family all the children who need care and shelter. After a while, a cottage appeared in the cemetery, where an atmosphere of sorrow and bitterness reigned, where more than 100 children found their families, as well as pregnant women who have nowhere else to go. They can stay here until the birth and six months after, and then either pick up the child or leave him until circumstances improve. The reunification of parents and children is the main goal of Tonga. So far, only 25% of mothers who have taken their babies.

Look at these faces in the photo - all these kids might not be alive if it were not for the courage of an ordinary man with a good heart, who unconditionally believes in God's truths and keeps his promises.

Sympathizing with the plight of the needy, the foster father gives the children back to their mothers if family or financial difficulties have passed. If no one takes the child, he adopts him. Instead of names, he gives affectionate nicknames to his wards: Heart, Dignity, Honor ... And the surnames are always double - maternal and adoptive father.

At first, society rejected what this Catholic was doing, considering him crazy. However, he persistently continued his plans, and soon the fame of him spread far beyond the borders of the town. People began to donate money, help, open similar shelters in other cities and countries.

The whole Fook family works here from morning to evening, the building is overflowing with people, shoes, diapers, diapers. The founder himself still continues to work at a construction site, his wife works in a store, and the reins of government are given to his sister. In addition, they work on the farm, raising animals and vegetables for a huge family. Donations, salaries and crops are often barely enough. The maintenance of one woman costs about 60 dollars a month. They all sleep together on the floor, side by side. How the head of a huge host family endures all this is a mystery to observers.

“Father of Vietnam” is what the foreign press calls Tonga, and he only smiles and says in an interview:
“I will continue to do this until the very last day and I hope that after my death, children will also help the destitute.

Looking at the shining eyes of these children, it is very believable.

This man's life is definitely not meaningless, is it?

Because his simple act and desire to help affected hundreds of destinies.

Have you done anything for those around you? Did you help someone in need?

Perhaps right now someone nearby needs your hand, words, help? Don't focus on your problems, look around! A simple “How are you?”, a smile, a cake or 100 rubles can change a lot in someone's life.

Don't see the point in living? Become the answer to someone else's problem, the relief of someone else's pain, and you will experience true joy.

But where to get the strength for all this?

The hero of the story we have told is a sincere believer, and the Lord Himself gives strength to such people. He is an inexhaustible source of love and hope, a light in the darkness of problems and circumstances. With Him ordinary people are capable of great things. Make peace with God, feel it for yourself!

Hello, I hope I'm in the right place. I hope that really wise and experienced people, psychologists, those who deal with issues of self-development, philosophers, that is, those who know real ways out of life's difficulties, will answer me here.

And so, my problems. I don’t see the point in life, my purpose, I don’t know who to be, what to choose, what hobby to do, in general, WHAT I WANT ?! WHAT?! You see, living without meaning is emptiness, and when it is empty, you don’t even want to live, everything is a burden!
I live in St. Petersburg, I'm 19 years old, I'm not studying now, I work part-time at an unloved job, if it can be called a "work", so, a part-time job to help my mother and even to leave the house. Most of the time I spend at home, I don't know what to do. Now I go to paid psychotherapy on my weekends. My work schedule is 2/2. That is the remained 2 days - I go on a psychotherapy. Before that, I went to PND for free psychotherapy.
About my childhood. For some reason, from early childhood I was unsociable, very cautious, impressionable, suspicious, timid, I was more often at home, but I also went out for a walk, I had 3 friends then, 1 was the best. This is when I lived in Saratov. I remember my childhood badly, only moments. I remember having terrible dreams. I remember when my mother sent me to the garden, I really didn’t like being there, the very stay, and the children, teachers, I even remember this smell in the dining room, I associated it with fear and anxiety. Then my mother and I moved to St. Petersburg, I went to school and the torment began there.
Before a certain class, everything was not bad, in my opinion, from grades 1 to 3, but then ... From grades 5 to 9, it was terrible, how did I even finish school. Everything fell on me, classmates who did not understand me, this study, a huge material that I could not cope with. For some reason, my classmates offended me, humiliated me, how did I differ from them then? They insulted me, humiliated me, sometimes beat me, laughed at my last name, it seemed funny to them, but I took it very close to my heart, And at some point I "closed". How could I cope with my studies when I was so bad at school, I had no time for subjects, my classmates simply "destroyed" me. But I already remember it without guilt and I don’t blame them. I hated school so much back then, poor progress, problems with classmates, all this fell on me, I could not cope with it, really! If even without that I was unsociable and receptive in early childhood, then at school everything got worse. Thanks to the titanic efforts of my parents, I graduated from the 9th grade, had a rest in the summer and went to the school to be a cook, although I did not want to. Then I didn’t know where to go (and I still don’t know), my parents and godparents advised me to go to the cook, with my knowledge.
And so, I went to the cook, unlearned 2 years there.
And there were problems in the school. My surname was also ridiculed and humiliated by my classmates, and it hurt me to the core. I did not like this profession, I went through force, as well as to school.
I was also closed there, almost didn’t communicate with anyone, only with one guy, I was generally sick of the school, I thought that this torment would end soon. Somehow I finished it, passed the exam, thanks to Dad for that!

And then I spent 2 years of my life at home, I had depression. Once my mother pushed me out of the house almost by force, I started going to PND for free psychotherapy. I don’t remember how long I went there, but a little, it somehow helped, I somehow “revived”. Thanks to my mother for insisting that I go there. After I was “discharged” from there, my attending physician recommended that I do group psychotherapy, gave me the number of another psychotherapist. In general, I called him, we agreed to meet in another PND, I talked to him, I liked him. I told him that a doctor such and such advised me to take up group therapy, to which he replied that it was too early for me to do it, I needed individual therapy, he picked up a good psychotherapist for me, in his opinion. She is woman. Right now I'm doing psychotherapy and working part-time. And that's it, I don't go anywhere else, I'm in a vacuum, isolated.
As for friends, I have only one friend, well, there are a few acquaintances, we communicate with them over the network.
There are moments that I go crazy, thoughts of suicide sometimes also happen, what is there to hide. And sometimes there is some kind of mess in the head, a swarm of chaotic thoughts, chaos. There is also apathy, prostration, you don’t want to do anything. And there is inspiration and emotional upsurge. How to understand yourself? Where to look for answers to the questions posed? Here I read books by Robert Anthony, I like the author. He says that answers must be sought within ourselves, searches outside only move us away from the truth about ourselves, it seems to be something like this. You know, for some reason I am very vulnerable, I am very worried about someone else's opinion, that they will not think about me, they will not say that, I am very dependent on criticism. I do not ask, as it seems to me, praise from others, but I am hurt by their very negative words, censures, reproaches. How to be independent from others? How to raise your self-esteem, confidence, meaning of life, purpose, direction? How to get rid of fears, phobias, laziness? For some reason, any problem, any significant and insignificant difficulty unsettles me. I immediately begin to get upset, sad. In general, it seems that I am not adapted to life, but it goes on, it is not eternal, but I want changes! I want to change! But I still can't figure it out? Maybe knowledgeable people can help? I'm not asking you to live for me, but to help me. Maybe you know good psychologists, psychotherapists, hypnologists In St. Petersburg for a reasonable price, or even for free? Simply, the mother is now paying off the loan, we bought the room, and every month we have to pay 20,000 rubles, and so, it seems, for another 3-4 years. I really want changes, if I don’t change, then I will remain in my “swamp”, I need to change and I understand this. I don’t know what my inclinations, talents, abilities are, I don’t know what I want, what I really want, sincerely. I can only speak abstractly, but nothing concrete. These are some creative directions. For example, music, dancing, art, although I can’t do any of these. I can't do anything at all. I am closed, and I sit most of the time at the computer. Somewhere in the 5th grade, they bought me a computer, and I began to spend my time behind it, thereby narrowing my horizons, but really, what can I do? Nothing. What I want? Don't know. All my attention was directed to sitting at the computer, playing games, but I want to say that I did not have a gambling addiction, I still went out a little bit, went to the camp in the summer, went to picnics, to the pool, to exercise therapy (for health reasons it was necessary) But there was an emphasis on the computer, games. I deleted all my games now, they got me, I'm not interested in understanding computers and I'm tired of playing, this slows down my progress. So being some kind of programmer or the like is not. Not interested. Maybe I really wanted to close myself from problems when I sat and played? I found at least joy in this, because I had no other interests. And yet I do not think that I had a gambling addiction, at least I do not have it now. Yes, I will immediately give up the games, and I have already given up on them, there would be a replacement!
Games to hell, this is the road to nowhere, get away from me!
They take a lot of time. Maybe the real reality is much better? Although it seems to me that reality is cruel, there are so many troubles, tragedies, deaths, horrors, arbitrariness, poverty. Most people are unhappy, so how can you be happy looking at all this horror?
Or does everyone have their own reality? You know, I don't want to live dull, gray, sad, aimless. Quite often it seems to me that everything is so hopeless, gray, hopeless, dull ... Oh, I have written a lot, although I want to write more, but I will stop there. I hope people will not be too lazy to read all this and help! Thank you!
Support the site:

Mjolnir, age: 19 / 18.03.2013

Responses:

You need to: give up the computer, spend less time at home, learn to fight (boxing is a 100% right decision), a man needs to be able to fight, stand up for himself, just don’t in any way think that it will be easy or fast, you will have to force yourself to go to training, be sure to get hit in the face and beat yourself, and all this is oh, how difficult, especially in this case! It took me 2 years of titanic work and patience to learn how to fight at least a little, every day I asked God to help me!

Vadim, age: 55 / 03/19/2013

You know, Mjolnir, I have a few thoughts. Firstly, in my opinion, by paying for psychotherapists, you further aggravate your financial situation. I understand that it is difficult for you, but the problem is not that you do not understand something, but a psychologist can explain. The problem is that you know your weaknesses, but you can't change anything. A psychologist can stand by as a coach and shout hit, but you have to hit, you understand?
Nothing happens right away. Change yourself little by little, step by step. Watch and analyze. Watch and analyze. For example, highlight in what situations people's opinion of you fell. I was obsessed with muscles in school and when I saw a muscled guy, I praised out loud with whoever I was. I noticed that the listeners were looking at me. I immediately stopped doing it. It's that simple. In addition to not spoiling your own reputation, you also need to build it. It is built when you perform deeds that deserve respect. Deepest thought to you: others treat you the way you treat yourself. I don’t know about you, but I see how people treat themselves, even if they are not in contact with anyone at that moment. By walking you can see what mood a person is in. And you? Do you love yourself? Are you proud of yourself? I am proud of myself even when I don't have a penny in my pocket.
To find yourself, you need to go through a simple process: SEE => WANT => DO. I saw how a car is modeled on a computer, I wanted to, I installed it. You say you are tired of the gray life. And me too. I don't know how to explain it to you, but I know: I AM A PRODUCER. I want to produce. So I want to build myself an ultralight aircraft. I learned and now I can process metal. So you go look for yourself.

Sympathy, age: 03/26/2013

Mjolnir, hello! Reading you made me think of myself as a child. They also teased me for my last name, offended me, I closed myself. I had a lot of similar questions, and when I asked my mother what to do, she answered me: "I don't know, the world has turned upside down." That is, there were no answers. I am not a psychologist or a philosopher, but a simple civil engineer, but I will try to give you advice. Then I got married, gave birth to a daughter, but I had to look for answers somehow. And I became interested in psychology, read various authors, both domestic and foreign. I'll tell you honestly, the answers were sometimes just the opposite, so there were more questions. And so, when I was 39 years old, one woman told me that I needed to go to confession. She went down, sobbed, and so she began to walk slowly, at first rarely, then she began to read spiritual literature, the works of the holy fathers. And I found answers to all my questions, God gave them. So don't waste your money on psychologists. Very good articles on this site, read the literature that is recommended HERE. And, if you are a baptized person, go to church, confess, take communion, find a confessor, find Archpriest Dimitry Smirnov's multiblog, listen to his sermons. My daughter is now 20 years old, just like you. I can answer all her questions, and, believe me, she has no mess in her head. Because God is near.

Yuliya, age: 47 / 03/19/2013

Everything is simple. Get ready for work. Feel needed and useful.
And if you don't, then do better. Work 7 days a week for 16-20 hours.

It will take a little time and you will feel useful. The projects of your company will depend on you. You will be respected in the team. There will be money, girls, desires.

Don't know who to work with? Don't know what you want?

That doesn't happen. Each person is interested in some area of ​​activity. Often not even alone.
Are you not interested in anything? Didn't read any literature?

Well-wisher, age: 24/19.03.2013

Hello! I am not engaged in psychology or philosophy, but can I express my thoughts? I would like to write to you. Meaning of life. Is it so easy to find it, don't you think that everyone except you found it? To the question What do I want? you can and, probably, need to look for answers all your life. You are doing a good job - you earn extra money and help your family. And also well done - you constantly say "thank you" to your parents. Leave toys, nature, sports, I think, much better, besides, you live in such a cool city. As for the surname, it is unlikely to interfere with you in adulthood, ask your father, I think there is no such problem. The reality is so cruel, no one promised that it would be easy. You can be happy, for example, by helping those who need you so much. After a rainstorm, the sun always shines much brighter, without the difficulties that have fallen to our lot, we would not notice bright periods. Such is our life. Peace and bright colors in your life!

Katerina, age: 03/24/2013

Dear Mjolnir! It's absurd to somehow address by last name, but you did not indicate your first name. Last name is common. People go with others much less euphonious, with the same letter M, for example: Myamlikov, Mosyasev, Misyulya, Mordin, etc. It's not about the surname, of course, but about you, yourself.
It is difficult to pass by your request for help. Although giving advice is a simple matter, it is of little help. Look, you have already been advised to do boxing and start being proud of yourself. Will it only help?

Proud of yourself? Yes, you would be easy and proud if there was something, wouldn't you? But who has this pride ever helped? If only to rise above others, stand out? So you and as you can see feel isolated-separated. Boxing won't help you either - you probably don't have the data for that. And to go to psychologists is empty. Psychologists themselves, as a rule, not everything is fine in life, what can they teach. What to do? - the eternal question!
I don't know, it's up to you. I dare to suggest some thoughts. In principle, I had similar problems, and even now I can’t say that I didn’t completely, completely get rid of them. BUT!! How much easier life has become! Because I have a meaning to life. It is most important! Without this, a person cannot live. A person can live almost without food, in our modern society - without work, without a comfortable living environment, finally without arms, without legs, he can live, but without any meaning to life, a person dies sooner or later. Find it, it exists, this "MEANING" - I sincerely wish you this, and you will not only survive, but also live a full life.
I personally searched for this meaning for a very long time. Searched in yoga, in east religions, books of occultists. In breaks between knowledge, I relaxed with friends with vodka, the so-called "light" drugs - I did not want to be worse, look weaker than them. All this could end very badly, thoughts of suicide visited.
I don’t know where, but one day, a thought came to me (or rather, then I didn’t know where, now I know exactly where this thought came from) - they won’t separate from people, don’t try to become higher than them, don’t turn away from them, but rather love them, people! I suddenly realized that the meaning of life is love. No, not love for the opposite sex, or a father for his child, or, for example, for a mother. I suddenly felt that there is absolute love, unconditional, which cannot share - to love this, but it is not possible to love that one. I searched and found this love and realized that it is the truth, unchanging and constant, the hardest firmament on which you can lean and resist and not drown in our worldly bustle. Love is something that everyone, absolutely every person, is capable of. Unlike sports or some other physical abilities, love is inherent in everyone, in everyone, without exception, a person! And this love fills the heart always only with joy. This universal love will save the world and everyone individually. Not beauty from a vulgar saying, but love.

And here's how to fall in love?... Here, unfortunately, I can't advise something specific yet, you need to think a lot about it, read, ask... I will deliberately not tell anyone. Otherwise, you will consider it propaganda. Look for yourself. If you have questions, it means that not everything is so bad, it means that you are a person who is looking for. And whoever seeks ... that's right, he will always find. Believe me, the past "Crimea and Rym" - there is salvation! You can say a lot, but if you don’t have any questions yourself, then all words are nothing more than shaking the air. Ask - I will answer.

All the best!

dclecar , age: 45 / 03/24/2013

Thank you all.
By the way, Mjolnir is not my last name, it's a pseudonym!)

Mjolnir, age: 19 / 25.03.2013

Man, start writing a book! You seem to be not bad at expressing your thoughts on paper .. If everything is in order with the imagination, then you look and something interesting will come out of this

Morgan , age: 24/02/2014

Dclecar, and please tell me the necessary literature. You wrote: "But how to fall in love? ... Here, unfortunately, I cannot advise something specific yet, you need to think about it a lot, read, ask ... I will not intentionally tell anyone. Otherwise, you will consider it propaganda. Look for If you have questions, it means that everything is not so bad, it means that you are a person who is looking for".
I would be very happy with an answer.

Mjolnir, age: 19 / 18.06.2014

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